French People Arr. Rude

The Tour Guy
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“Anthony Bourdain meets Step Brothers”—said some loser on Reddit. Brandon and Sean somehow became Europe travel experts and now spend each episode arguing about the best places to go, what to eat, and how not to look like a tourist. Expect weird history rabbit holes, unfiltered advice, and interviews with chefs, guides, and fellow travelers. It’s part trip-planning, part comedy, part therapy, brought to you by the travel pros at The Tour Guy.

  1. JAN 28

    The Rise and Fall of the Persian Empire

    When most people think about the Persian Empire, they picture 300, Xerxes, and arrows blotting out the sun. But the real story is far more interesting and far more important. Tours Mentioned in This Episode Louvre Museum Tour with Skip the Line Entry Palace of Versailles and Gardens Tour with Transportation In this episode, we break down how the Persian Empire became the first true superpower in history, stretching from modern day Turkey to India and Egypt. We walk through the reigns of Cyrus the Great, Cambyses, Darius, and Xerxes, separating Hollywood myth from historical reality. You’ll learn how Persia conquered Babylon without a fight, freed enslaved peoples, built massive road systems, managed a multicultural empire, and why it repeatedly clashed with Greece. We also explain why Persia ultimately lost despite its size, wealth, and military power, and why Western history often understates just how advanced this empire really was. If your understanding of Persia starts and ends with 300, this episode will completely change how you see the ancient world. What This Episode Covers Why the Persian Empire was the first true superpower Cyrus the Great and the origins of human rights How Persia conquered Babylon, Egypt, and the ancient world The truth behind 300 and the Battle of Thermopylae Why Marathon was such a shocking upset How Darius built roads, provinces, and an empire that actually worked Why Xerxes lost Greece despite overwhelming numbers How propaganda, logistics, and unity decide wars Why Persia deserves more credit than it gets today The Tour Guy is Europe’s most trusted and reliable tour operator, offering expertly guided, stress free experiences across the continent’s most iconic destinations.

    50 min

  2. JAN 21

    Who was Napoleon Bonaparte? | Myths, Power, and Collapse

    Napoleon Bonaparte rose from an outsider with no power to the most feared leader in Europe, and his downfall reshaped the modern world. Tours mentioned: The Best Versailles Tours & Experiences Incredible Louvre Experiences & Tours See Paris with Ease with our Paris Experiences Best Day Trips from Paris Explore Villa Borghese with Ease Napoleon Bonaparte is one of the most misunderstood figures in history. In this episode, Sean and Brandon break down how a Corsican outsider who barely spoke French rose to become Emperor of Europe, reshaped warfare, and rewrote his own legacy. They unpack the biggest myths about Napoleon, including whether he was actually short, if he was truly a tyrant, and why so much of what we think we know comes from propaganda rather than facts. Along the way, they trace his life through four key phases, his brutal childhood, meteoric rise, unmatched military peak, and catastrophic downfall. From firing cannons into Parisian mobs to masterminding the Battle of Austerlitz, from the disastrous invasion of Russia to his dramatic return from exile, this episode focuses on what made Napoleon so magnetic to his soldiers and so dangerous to his enemies. It is a story about leadership, obsession, resilience, and how history is shaped by those who survive long enough to tell it. What this podcast covers: Who was Napoleon Bonaparte and why he mattered in European history Napoleon Bonaparte myths vs facts, height, personality, and propaganda How Napoleon rose from Corsican outsider to Emperor of France Napoleon’s early life in Corsica and military education The French Revolution and how it enabled Napoleon’s rise to power Napoleon’s military tactics and why he is considered a strategic genius The Battle of Austerlitz explained, Napoleon’s greatest victory How Napoleon inspired loyalty from his army and generals Napoleon and leadership, what made soldiers follow him Napoleon’s rule as Emperor and the Napoleonic Code The invasion of Russia and why Napoleon’s campaign failed Scorched earth tactics and the Russian winter explained Napoleon’s exile to Elba and his dramatic return to France The Hundred Days and the Battle of Waterloo Why Napoleon ultimately lost power and empire Napoleon’s death, exile to Saint Helena, and lasting legacy How Napoleon rewrote his own legacy and shaped modern history Why Napoleon is still celebrated in France today The Tour Guy is Europe’s most trustworthy and reliable tour operator, trusted by millions of travelers for expertly curated tours across the continent’s top cities and landmarks.

    1h 3m

  3. JAN 14

    Alexander the Great: How One Man Conquered the Known World

    Learn about our tours and experiences: https://thetourguy.com/ Tours Mentioned: See Rome in a Day: https://thetourguy.com/tours/rome/rome-in-a-day-tour Explore Pompeii, Positano, & the Amalfi Coast: https://thetourguy.com/tours/rome/rome-to-pompeii-day-trip Alexander the Great conquered more of the known world before age 32 than almost any figure in history. But how did a Macedonian king with a relatively small army defeat the largest empire on Earth, believe he was a god, and burn entire cities in drunken rage? In this episode, Brandon and Sean break down the life of Alexander the Great from his chaotic childhood and Aristotle-led education to his rise as the most feared military tactician of the ancient world. They explore the myths versus reality, including whether he was benevolent or brutal, how he used unconventional strategy to defeat Persia, and why his empire collapsed almost immediately after his death. Along the way, the conversation digs into his psychology, his obsession with legacy, the turning points that pushed him from hero to tyrant, and why even total conquest could not save him from an early death. By the end of this episode, you will walk away knowing:• Why Alexander the Great was raised to believe he was destined to rule the world• How Aristotle shaped his worldview, leadership style, and obsession with legacy• The simple tactical decisions that let a small Macedonian army defeat massive Persian forces• Why Alexander refused compromise, even when offered half the known world• How Egypt turned him from king into a living god• The moment power began to corrupt him and alienate his closest allies• Why his empire collapsed almost immediately after his death• How “to the strongest” triggered one of the bloodiest succession struggles in history French People Are Rude is a history podcast that mixes storytelling, debate, and cultural commentary to make the past feel vivid, strange, and relevant. The Tour Guy is Europe’s most reliable and trustworthy marketplace for tours and experiences across the EU, offering expert guides and carefully curated experiences in Europe’s top destinations.

    53 min

  4. JAN 7

    The Surprisingly Odd History of Front Lawns

    Why do we spend thousands of dollars a year watering, fertilizing, and obsessing over grass that serves no real purpose? The Best Versailles Tours: https://thetourguy.com/tours/versailles-tours Incredible Tours of London: https://thetourguy.com/tours/london In this episode, we unpack the surprisingly strange history of the front lawn. What started as an aristocratic flex in Europe became one of the most expensive and environmentally damaging traditions in modern America. From French and English nobles who proved their wealth by not growing food, to the invention of the lawnmower, to how World War II chemicals and Cold War politics turned grass into a symbol of patriotism, the modern lawn is anything but natural. Along the way, we dig into garden hermits, hidden ditches, fake green lawns, HOA rules, clover propaganda, and why cutting grass is literally making it scream. By the end of this episode, you will never look at a front yard the same way again. This episode covers: Why lawns began as a status symbol for European aristocracy How the lawnmower changed society and fueled suburban expansion The surprising connection between World War II, chemicals, and green grass How HOAs and suburbia enforced lawn culture in America The environmental cost of lawns, from water use to emissions Why clover was rebranded as a weed The bizarre psychology behind why we still care so much about grass French People Are Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences. If you want to see the original royal lawns that started it all, including Versailles and other iconic European estates, check out our tours at thetourguy.com.

    29 min

  5. 12/09/2025

    The Wild and Strange History of Santa Claus

    The real story of Santa Claus is stranger than any Christmas movie.Before he became a jolly gift giver in a red suit, he was a Turkish bishop, a Dutch horse rider, an elf sized chimney climber, and eventually a full American marketing icon. This episode breaks down the wild journey of how Saint Nicholas turned into Santa Claus and how Christmas traditions were reinvented over and over. Read the full article here: https://thetourguy.com/travel-blog/podcast/the-history-of-christmas/ Christmas today feels timeless, but almost none of it is ancient. Sean and Brandon walk through the chaotic evolution of December 25, from Roman festivals and pagan trees to medieval gift giving and the Dutch Sinterklaas. They trace how the bishop of Myra becomes a flying gift distributor, how newspapers and poems reshape his appearance, and how American advertisers finish the transformation. The episode also dives into the rise of Rudolph, the invention of mall Santas, and the commercial boom that turns Christmas into a global spending machine. It is a fast, funny breakdown of how history, religion, folklore, and marketing all collide to create the modern Santa Claus. What this podcast covers• How December 25 was chosen and why it has pagan roots• The real Saint Nicholas in Turkey and why he was nothing like Santa• How Saint Nicholas spread through Europe and picked up traditions like shoes, sacks, and beating bad children• The Dutch Sinterklaas and how New York reshaped him into Santa Claus• Why early American writers turned him into an elf and made him fly• How Thomas Nast and Coca Cola create the modern Santa design• The invention of Rudolph and the 20th century commercialization of Christmas• How Santa becomes central to American holiday shopping• Why the real history of Santa Claus is a mashup of religion, folklore, satire, and marketing French People Arr Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in all major cities.

    52 min

  6. 11/25/2025

    London: Top Things to See & How to Visit Them

    Grab our London Guidebook here:🔔 London Guidebook, Top things to see The BEST London Tours mentioned in the show:🔔 Tower of London, Legends and Lore Tour🔔 Westminster Abbey and Changing of the Guard🔔 Windsor Castle & Stonehenge Tours 🔔 London in a Day 🔔 The BEST London Tours If you are planning a trip and want a clear list of what to see in London, this episode walks you through everything in simple terms. Sean and Brandon break down the biggest stereotypes, explain what is true, and walk through the major sites that every first time visitor should see. You get practical guidance on the Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Borough Market, Windsor Castle, Stonehenge, and the classic pub and afternoon tea culture. They cover timing, ticketing, whether you need a tour, how long to spend at each place, and how to avoid the most common mistakes travelers make in the city. You also hear about surprising museum highlights, why the London Bridge is actually in Arizona, and how to tell the difference between afternoon tea and high tea. Each section gives simple takeaways so listeners walk away remembering the essentials. French People Arr Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in major cities.

    49 min

  7. 11/18/2025

    Venice: Top things to see & travel advice

    Tours & guidebook mentioned: 🔔 Venice Guidebook: Top things to see & more 🔔 Best Venice Tours 🔔 Venice in a Day with Gondola Ride!! 🔔 St. Mark's Basilica Tours 🔔 Incredible Murano & Burano Tours ⁠🔔 Rome in a Day Tour ⁠⁠🔔 Tuscany day trip form Florence If you are planning a trip and want to know the top things to see in Venice, this episode breaks everything down in simple terms. Sean and Brandon go through the biggest stereotypes, explain what is actually true, and lay out a clear list of what to do in Venice on a first visit. You get straightforward guidance on Saint Mark’s Basilica, Doge’s Palace, Murano and Burano, gondola rides, the Rialto area, and the neighborhoods that are worth wandering. They cover timing, crowds, tours that help, tours you can skip, and the local food culture that surprises most visitors. You also hear why Venetians drink in the morning, how the city floods, and what a real bacaro looks like. Each section gives practical takeaways so listeners walk away remembering the essentials. French People Arr Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in major cities.

    48 min

  8. 11/11/2025

    Paris: The BEST things to see & do in 2026

    For more details on all the stops mentioned, bookmark out guidebook article: Paris, France: the City of Lights Tours Mentioned: Versailles Palace TourParis in a Day Louvre Skip-the-Line Guided TourEiffel Tower Tour with Champagne and Seine River CruiseNotre Dame and Île de la Cité Walking TourMusée d’Orsay ToursMontmartre and Sacré-Cœur Food TourSeine River Cruise (day or sunset options) Sean and Brandon break down what to actually see in Paris and how to make the most of it. They talk about the city’s major sites, from Versailles and the Louvre to Montmartre and the Seine, explaining what’s worth booking ahead, when to visit, and what details most travelers miss. The episode mixes history and on-the-ground advice, with stories about Napoleon, Marie Antoinette, and the small quirks that make Paris unlike anywhere else. Topics Covered: • Paris myths and stereotypes• The truth about French manners and prices• Why Notre Dame, not the Eiffel Tower, is the real center of Paris• How to see Versailles without waiting in line• Best time of year to visit the gardens and Hall of Mirrors• The Louvre’s must-see artworks and skip-the-line tips• Eiffel Tower ticket advice and the best viewpoint for photos• Visiting Notre Dame and Île de la Cité after the restoration• Sainte-Chapelle and its stained glass at the right hour of sunlight• Highlights of the Musée d’Orsay and the Impressionists• Montmartre, Sacré-Cœur, and where to find the best sunset• The Latin Quarter, Pantheon, and the history buried below• Napoleon’s tomb at Les Invalides and France’s military legacy• The Seine River cruise and how to see Paris from the water• Bonus picks for art lovers, from Rodin to Monet’s water lilies French People ARR. Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in all of Europe’s major cities.

    58 min
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5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

“Anthony Bourdain meets Step Brothers”—said some loser on Reddit. Brandon and Sean somehow became Europe travel experts and now spend each episode arguing about the best places to go, what to eat, and how not to look like a tourist. Expect weird history rabbit holes, unfiltered advice, and interviews with chefs, guides, and fellow travelers. It’s part trip-planning, part comedy, part therapy, brought to you by the travel pros at The Tour Guy.

Information

  • Creator
    The Tour Guy
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    44
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © The Tour Guy
  • Show Website
    French People Arr. Rude

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