Commas & Half Strokes

Team CAHS

Official Podcast account of Commas & Half Strokes. We try to give words to feelings that can't be expressed, only felt.

Episodes

  1. 02/20/2022

    PAPA

    Papa Sunne me kaafi chhota sa shabd hai yeh, par jitni jinnmedariya ye akele apne kandho pe uthate hain woh shayad hi shabdon me bayan kar sakun mai yaa koi.  Yaad hai mujhe aaj bhi jab chhoti thi main to kaise wo har roz subah mujhe school bus ke lie bus stop tak chhorne jaate the.  Main to apni hi dhun mei, hawaon se baatein karti, ladkhadate hue chalti thi.. Aur mere baste ka bojh uthate the mere papa.  Khud ki kameez purani hi sahi, mere har janmadin par kuch naya lekar aate the mere papa.  Kabhi kabhi khane ka man naa bhi ho to, "Ruko papa ko bolti hu" ke dar se khana kha leti thi main.  Padhne ka man naa bhi ho to unke khauf se cheezein yaad kar leti thi main.  Kabhi jo der ho jaye unhe ghar lautne me,  mai pareshan ho kar mammy se puchti,  kab aayenge papa. Aur wo bas yahi kahti ki aa jayenge.  Ek sukoon saa milta tha unki motorcycle ki awaz sun kar,Jab bhi unhe der hoti, mai pahoch jaati darwaje par,   Sochti thi puchungi unse aaj  kyu unhe der hui, sab thik to hai, par *pause* Sirf sochti hi thi.  Wo mujhe dekhte aur kahte, "aaj der ho gayi beta". Aur mai bhul jaati sabkuch unke chehre pe thakaan dekh kar.  Mere har exam ki taiyaari karaate the wo Jab bhi class me top kiya, congratulations nahi, thank you kaha karte the wo, aese the mere papa.  Jaise jaise mai badi hoti gayi, hamari baatein bhi kam hoti gayi. Pata nahi itna mushkil kyu tha, unse baatein karna, unse gale milna. paas to the ham, fir bhi ek doori si thi.  Mazboor naa ho kar bhi ek mazboori si thi.  Kaash tabhi himmat juta ke "I love you Papa" kah diya hota, sun to lete wo.  Dil me afsos to nahi reh jaata koi, , Aaj agar kah bhi du to kya,jab sunne wala hi nahi koi. written by : Adity narrated by : Tanya

  2. 10/24/2021

    To the one who's feeling low

    To the one who's feeling low, I know you won't believe me when I say that I understand you, and it's completely okay. I just want you to know that you'll get past this, sooner or later. You're in a position where it's difficult to explain about this whole thing going on with you because you, yourself don't know what's wrong. You just know that you're not feeling yourself. You feel completely lost. Everything around you seems to be going good and then suddenly, a blanket of negativity surrounds you. It's a feeling which engulfs you and you just want to cry. When someone asks whether you're doing okay, you want to tell them that you're not. You want to tell them there's something eating you from inside and you don't know what it is, but you rather choose to lie. So, you tell them you're doing just fine. You feel dumb to not have a reason to feel this way, but trust me, you're not dumb. We've all been through such phases where we felt like our life was falling apart, like we were losing everyone in our lives. It's a feeling which can't be expressed; only felt. You're having an amazing day and then suddenly you have a mental breakdown. You just want to shut people out because you need some space to figure out everything. And, it's okay. It's okay to shut people out for a while and figure out your own life. Just let them know that you're not doing okay and you need some time alone. You can't always be fine. No one's always fine. Just look forward to get past this part of your life and moving onto the good parts. Sometimes, things are not going to be like you imagined, they'll be better. You need to know that you're not responsible for other people's actions, those are the choices they make. I can't assure you that you won't feel like this ever again, but I surely know, you'll face it by being much stronger - the next time. Always remember, you're loved and also, it's okay to keep yourself and your mental health - your first priority. With love, Someone who feels the same, Eshika Modi.

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Official Podcast account of Commas & Half Strokes. We try to give words to feelings that can't be expressed, only felt.