What nobody tells you about having a baby is that two people are born that day and historically, we've only been preparing for one of them. Dr. Nicole Kumi, founder of The Whole Mom and maternal mental health expert, joins the ladies of Marriage Pinnacle for one of the most honest conversations about postpartum life, Black maternal health, and what the fourth trimester actually does to a marriage. If you've ever felt like a stranger in your own body after baby, fought your partner over who did more, or quietly wondered why you still don't feel like yourself two years later then this episode was made for you. What you'll learn in this episode: What the fourth trimester actually is (hint: it lasts way longer than 12 weeks) and why postpartum mental health symptoms are so easy to missHow the "strong Black woman" narrative directly impacts whether moms ask for help and what it costs families when they don't Why equal task-splitting doesn't mean equal mental load, and how couples can stop fighting each other and start fighting the problem together Practical tools for partners including the split-shift sleep strategy, initiative-taking, and the Sunday check-in The difference between postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and intrusive thoughts and when it's time to get professional support Dr. Nicole also opens up about her own postpartum journey, what she wishes she'd told her husband sooner, and why she frames her work as education and not therapy to reach women who wouldn't otherwise walk through the door. _______________________________________________________ CHAPTERS _______________________________________________________ 00:00 The Mental Load Is Not Equal 01:35 Welcome & Meet Dr. Nicole Kumi 03:58 Icebreaker: This or That With a Mom Twist 10:11 What Is the Fourth Trimester Really 15:15 Why We Prep for Birth But Not Recovery 18:46 The Strong Black Woman Narrative & Postpartum Stigma 28:55 How the Fourth Trimester Hijacks Intimacy 33:13 Feeling Unsupported Even When He's Helping 39:18 What Postpartum Actually Looks Like 51:43 Practical Tools for Couples Right Now 58:59 Dr. Nicole's Final Word to Couples & Rapid Fire **Find Dr. Nicole Kumi:** Dr. Nicole Kumi, PhD, PMH-C, is a maternal wellness expert, speaker, author, and founder of The Whole Mom. After experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety following the births of her own children, Nicole dedicated her work to changing the way we prepare and support mothers during one of the biggest transitions of their lives. Her work centers around the “birth of the mother," the understanding that when a baby is born, a woman is also undergoing a profound psychological, emotional, relational, and identity transformation. Through education, coaching, and community programs, Nicole helps mothers and families navigate postpartum before they reach a point of crisis. As a certified perinatal mental health professional and Postpartum Support International Board Member, Nicole is passionate about expanding the conversation beyond the baby and helping partners recognize their important role in protecting maternal mental health. Her mission is to build a future where every mother feels prepared, supported, and seen, not just as a parent, but as a whole person. Books: *Postpartum My Language*, *Butterfly Mama*, *Born Together: The Birth of the Mother* — all available on Amazon Website: thewholemom.com | Instagram: @nicolekumi Postpartum Support International Hotline: 1-800-944-4773 (staffed 24/7) **Subscribe, leave a review, and join our PeakSeeker community on Instagram.** If this episode helped you or someone you love, share it because someone in your circle needs this conversation right now. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support. Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!! Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle! Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events! Follow us on: IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeak Tiktok: marriagepinnacle Facebook: Marriage Pinnacle You'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
