Love on the Autism Spectrum - Honest Guidance for Neurodivergent Relationships & Emotional Healing

Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT
  • 5.0 (2)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • WEEKLY SERIES

Love on the Autism Spectrum® with Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFTHonest Guidance for Neurodivergent Relationships in MidlifeLove on the Autism Spectrum® is a podcast for neurodivergent couples navigating long-term relationships in midlife — including autism, ADHD, AuDHD, burnout, late diagnosis, and the quiet strain that builds over time.Hosted by licensed therapist and neurodivergent coach Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, each episode offers grounded, trauma-informed insight into emotional safety, relational misattunement, masking, shutdowns, and the work of staying connected without abandoning yourself.This is not fast advice.It is steady guidance.If you are autistic, ADHD, AuDHD — or in partnership with someone who is — this space honors how your nervous system actually works. No fixing. No performance. No pressure.Each episode offers:• Clear context for shutdowns, masking, burnout, and relational friction• Nervous-system–informed tools for regulation and repair• Language for building safer, more intentional partnership in midlifeListen when you’re ready.This space is consistent, thoughtful, and here to meet you at your own pace.Subscribe on Substack at blazelazarony.substack.com for essays, resources, and extended reflections from the work.Follow @BlazeLazarony on Instagram for ongoing context.#AutismRelationships #NeurodivergentCouples #AutisticMarriage #ADHDRelationships #AuDHD #MidlifeMarriage #TraumaInformedCare

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  1. EPISODE 1

    The Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™ | Ep 1.mp3

    Episode 1: Welcome to Season Two: The Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™ Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two If you’re new to Love on the Autism Spectrum, I gently recommend starting with this episode. Season Two, Episode 1 introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™, the foundational framework we’ll return to throughout the season. It explains why healing isn’t linear, why returning to familiar struggles doesn’t mean failure, and how nervous system capacity naturally shifts over time. You don’t need to listen in order — but beginning here can help everything else land with more ease and self-compassion. Take what resonates. Move at your pace. You’re welcome here. Season Two begins with a pause — not a push. In this extended opening episode, Blaze introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™, a framework for understanding healing, growth, and nervous system regulation as cyclical rather than linear. Drawing from trauma-informed therapy, neurodivergent lived experience, and developmental psychology, this episode reframes why returning to familiar struggles does not mean failure. Blaze shares how the Spiral was developed in response to the limits of linear healing models, especially for neurodivergent adults who have spent years masking, overfunctioning, and pushing through burnout. You’ll learn why healing happens through orientation and safety, how capacity naturally fluctuates, and why acceptance — not fixing — is often the missing piece. This episode sets the foundation for the entire season and will be referenced throughout upcoming conversations about unmasking, being seen, burnout, and the grief of return. One Emotional Takeaway You’re not behind. You’re exactly where your Spiral is asking you to be. 🔁 Companion Blog Read the companion blog: “Why Healing Isn’t Linear—It’s a Spiral” 👉 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com 🛠 Mentioned in This Episode The Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™ Nervous system pacing and capacity Trauma-informed healing and orientation Why “returning” is not regression 🔁 Season Two Note This episode lays the foundation for Season Two. Throughout the season, I’ll often reference ideas introduced here — especially the concept of healing as a spiral rather than a straight line. If future episodes bring up feelings of discouragement or “I should be past this,” you may want to revisit this one. ✅ Work With Blaze Book a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi 📘 Buy the Book Unmasked Self-Acceptance 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/unmasked-self-acceptance/ 🎧 More episodes available at: Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | And… 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #SpiralHealing #Unmasking #ADHDBurnout #NervousSystemSupport #LateDiagnosis #NeurodiverseCouples Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min

  2. EPISODE 2

    Three Signs You’re at Spiral Level 1 | Ep 2.mp3

    Episode 2: Three Signs You’re at Spiral Level 1 Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two 🌱 Start Here If you’re new to Love on the Autism Spectrum, I gently recommend starting with Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™.” That opening episode introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™, the foundational framework we return to throughout the season. It offers important context for understanding healing as cyclical rather than linear — especially if you find yourself feeling discouraged, confused, or like you “should be further along.” You’re welcome to listen in any order. Starting there simply helps everything land with more ease. Episode Summary Spiral Level 1 is often misunderstood. In this episode, Blaze introduces Spiral Level 1 as a state of nervous system orientation — not failure, regression, or breakdown. Drawing on the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life™, this conversation helps listeners recognize early Spiral cues with curiosity instead of self-judgment. Blaze outlines three common signs you may be at Spiral Level 1, including increased effortfulness, subtle disconnection, and heightened self-criticism. Using a trauma-informed lens grounded in Polyvagal Theory, this episode explains why these experiences are signs of a nervous system seeking safety — not a problem to fix. Listeners are offered expanded, practical tools for responding to Spiral Level 1 with gentleness, including capacity naming, orientation practices, and pattern-based language that replaces shame. This episode is especially supportive if you’ve ever thought, “Why does everything feel harder than it should right now?” One Emotional Takeaway Where you are isn’t a problem — it’s a pattern asking to be noticed. 🔁 Companion Blog Read the companion blog: “Where You Are Isn’t a Problem—It’s a Pattern” 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com 🧠 Therapy Lens Referenced Stephen Porges — Polyvagal Theory Understanding Spiral Level 1 as a state of nervous system orientation and safety-seeking 🛠 Tools Explored in This Episode Capacity naming without capacity pushing Orientation before communication or connection Replacing self-criticism with pattern language Responding to early Spiral cues with nervous system care 🔁 Season Two Note This episode builds on the foundation introduced in Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” Spiral Level 1 is the first place many listeners recognize themselves in the Spiral. If this episode brings relief or clarity, revisiting the opening episode may help deepen your understanding of how the Spiral works across different seasons of life. ✅ Work With Blaze Book a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session A calm, no-pressure space to explore support and next steps 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi 📘 Buy the Book: mm Unmasked Self-Acceptance 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/unmasked-self-acceptance/ 🎧 Listen to More Episodes More episodes of Love on the Autism Spectrum are available on Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | and 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ #SpiralLevel1 #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #ADHDBurnout #PolyvagalTheory #NervousSystemSupport #LateDiagnosis #NeurodiverseAdults #TraumaInformedCare #LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min

  3. EPISODE 3

    Healing Begins When You’re Seen | Ep 3.mp3

    Episode 3: Healing Begins When You’re Seen Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two 🌱 Start Here If you’re new to Love on the Autism Spectrum, I gently recommend starting with Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” That opening episode introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™, the foundation we return to throughout the season. It provides helpful context for understanding why healing unfolds through safety, orientation, and relationship — not pressure. Episode Summary Many neurodivergent adults have learned to survive by explaining their pain — often because it wasn’t believed or understood in the past. In this episode, Blaze explores why being seen is often more healing than being helped. Grounded in the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™ and attachment-based neuroscience, this conversation reframes healing as a relational process rooted in attuned presence and co-regulation. Drawing on the work of Dan Siegel, Blaze explains how the nervous system integrates experience through being accurately witnessed — not through better explanations or stronger arguments. Listeners are offered expanded, practical tools for identifying safe witnesses, reducing over-explaining, and practicing being seen without performance. This episode is especially supportive if you feel exhausted from trying to justify your experience or prove your pain. One Emotional Takeaway You don’t have to prove your pain to deserve care. 🔁 Companion Blog Read the companion blog: “You Don’t Have to Prove You’re In Pain” 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com 🧠 Therapy Lens Referenced Dan Siegel — Interpersonal Neurobiology Healing through attuned presence and accurate witnessing 🛠 Tools Explored in This Episode Identifying over-explaining as a survival strategy Choosing safe witnesses for co-regulation Practicing being seen without performing Relational safety as nervous system support 🔁 Season Two Note This episode builds on the foundation introduced in Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” Being seen is a key part of Spiral movement — especially after periods of self-orientation and unmasking. ✅ Work With Blaze Book a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi 📘 Buy the Book: Unmasked Self-Acceptance 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/unmasked-self-acceptance/ 🎧 Listen to More Episodes More episodes of Love on the Autism Spectrum are available on Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | and here: 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ #BeingSeen #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #AttachmentTheory #NervousSystemSupport #TraumaInformedCare #NeurodiverseAdults #CoRegulation #LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min

  4. EPISODE 4

    I Thought I Had Healed Until This Happened | Ep 4.mp3

    🎙️ Episode 5: I Thought I Had Healed Until This Happened Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two 🌱 Start Here (New Listener Note)If you’re new to Love on the Autism Spectrum, I gently recommend starting with Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” That opening episode introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™, the foundation we return to throughout the season — especially in moments of return, rupture, or self-doubt. Episode Summary Many people experience a moment in healing when something they thought was resolved suddenly returns — often bringing confusion, disappointment, or shame. In this episode, Blaze reframes that experience not as failure, but as a natural and meaningful part of the healing spiral. Grounded in the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™ and trauma-informed therapy, this conversation explores why returns happen, what they signal about nervous system safety, and how increased awareness often allows deeper layers to emerge. Drawing on the work of trauma therapist Janina Fisher, Blaze explains how healing doesn’t eliminate parts of us — it helps them feel safer over time. Listeners are offered expanded, compassionate tools for meeting return with curiosity, grounding, and self-trust — instead of urgency or self-criticism. One Emotional TakeawayReturn doesn’t mean failure — it means healing is still happening. 🔁 Companion BlogRead the companion blog: “The Healing Spiral Isn’t Failure—It’s a Return” 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com 🧠 Therapy Lens ReferencedJanina Fisher — Trauma, Parts, and IntegrationUnderstanding return as contact and safety, not regression🛠 Tools Explored in This EpisodeReframing return as information, not failureSeparating present safety from past painSoftening urgency and internal timelinesMeeting rupture with curiosity and compassion🔁 Season Two NoteThis episode returns directly to the foundation introduced in Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” If you find yourself discouraged by a return or rupture, revisiting the opening episode may help restore perspective and self-compassion. ✅ Work With BlazeBook a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi 📘 Buy Unmasked Self-Acceptance 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/unmasked-self-acceptance/ 🎧 Listen to More EpisodesMore episodes of Love on the Autism Spectrum are available on Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | and more 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ #HealingReturn #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #TraumaInformedCare #PartsWork #NervousSystemSupport #LateDiagnosis #NeurodiverseAdults #SpiralHealing #LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min

  5. EPISODE 5

    The Sensory Ladder: Understanding Your First Signals of Overwhelm | Ep 5.mp3

    Episode 5: The Sensory Ladder: Understanding Your First Signals of Overwhelm Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two Start Here (New Listener Note)If you’re new to the podcast, you may want to begin with Season Two, Episode 1: “Welcome to the Spiral of Life.” That episode introduces the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life & Healing™ and explains why this season focuses on slowing down, orienting, and building self-trust before coping or change. Many neurodivergent adults feel like they go from “fine” to overwhelmed out of nowhere. In this episode, Blaze introduces the Sensory Ladder — a framework for understanding the early, often-missed sensory signals that precede shutdown, anger, or overwhelm. Grounded in Spiral Level 1 (Deepening), this conversation explores how regulation begins with noticing, not coping. Through individual and couple examples, listeners are invited to understand their nervous system responses as communication rather than failure. This episode emphasizes sensory awareness, interoception, and self-trust — without pressure to fix or control what’s happening. One Emotional TakeawayYour body isn’t overreacting — it’s communicating early. Companion Blog + Free HandoutRead the companion blog: “The Sensory Ladder: How to Identify and Regulate Your Overwhelm States” 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/sensory-ladder/ ✨ Free Resource Included: Grab you copy of the downloadable Sensory Ladder handout to help you gently notice your early sensory cues. This is optional support—not a worksheet to complete or a system to perfect. Simply sign up to be on my email list at the top right of my website www.LoveontheAutismSpectrum.com and you'll be linked to all of my resources. Tools Explored in This EpisodeIdentifying early sensory signals before overwhelmUnderstanding personal sensory patterns (your unique ladder)Practicing awareness without forcing regulationBuilding nervous system trust through noticingWork With BlazeBook a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session A calm, no-pressure space to explore your patterns and supports 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi Listen to More EpisodesMore episodes of Love on the Autism Spectrum are available on Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | and more 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ Key Hashtags #SensoryOverwhelm #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #ADHDBurnout #NervousSystemSupport #Interoception #SpiralLevel1 #TraumaInformedCare #NeurodiverseAdults #LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min

  6. EPISODE 6

    You’re Not Too Sensitive—You’re Sensing Accurately | Ep 6.mp3

    🎙 Episode 6: You’re Not Too Sensitive—You’re Sensing Accurately Love on the Autism Spectrum — Season Two Many neurodivergent adults have been told they’re “too sensitive,” often leading them to doubt their own perceptions. In this episode, Blaze reframes sensitivity as accurate sensing rather than pathology. Building on Spiral Layer 1 (Deepening) and the Sensory Ladder introduced in Episode 6, this conversation explores how sensory awareness can become a source of self-trust rather than shame. Through individual and couple examples, listeners are invited to understand sensory differences as meaningful nervous-system information—not something to minimize or override. This episode is especially supportive if you’ve learned to silence your body’s cues in order to function or fit in. One Emotional TakeawayYour sensitivity isn’t the problem—your body is noticing something important. Companion BlogRead the companion blog: “Understanding Sensory Differences: Why You’re Not ‘Too Sensitive,’ You’re Just Processing the World Differently” 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/sensory-processing-differences/ Free Resource ReferencedTo support this episode, you may want to listen to Episode 6: “The Sensory Ladder: Understanding Your First Signals of Overwhelm.” The companion blog for Episode 6 includes a free Sensory Ladder handout when you sign up for the email list, designed to help you gently notice your own early sensory cues. Tools Explored in This EpisodeReframing sensitivity as informationBuilding trust in sensory awarenessReducing shame around sensory processingUnderstanding sensory differences within relationshipsSeason Two ContextThis episode continues work in Spiral Layer 1 (Deepening) and builds directly on Episode 6. Together, they form a foundation for understanding freeze, fight, and survival responses explored later in February. Work With BlazeBook a FREE Clarity & Connection Zoom Session 👉 https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/y8SkMmYp2fdSWiKSIrhi Listen to More Episodes🎧 More episodes available at: Apple Podcasts | Amazon | Spotify | and more 👉 https://www.loveontheautismspectrum.com/podcast/ Key Hashtags #SensoryProcessing #NeurodivergentHealing #AutismSpectrum #ADHDBurnout #SensoryAwareness #NervousSystemSupport #SpiralLayer1 #TraumaInformedCare #NeurodiverseCouples #LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum Explore more tools, relationship guidance, and weekly blog posts at: 🌐 www.LoveOnTheAutismSpectrum.com For behind-the-scenes reflections and bonus content, follow along on Instagram: 📸 @BlazeLazarony This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship or provide individualized advice. Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFT, is licensed in California. All examples are fictional and used for illustration only. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or contact local emergency services.

    19 min
See All Season 2 (6)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Love on the Autism Spectrum® with Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, LMFTHonest Guidance for Neurodivergent Relationships in MidlifeLove on the Autism Spectrum® is a podcast for neurodivergent couples navigating long-term relationships in midlife — including autism, ADHD, AuDHD, burnout, late diagnosis, and the quiet strain that builds over time.Hosted by licensed therapist and neurodivergent coach Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, each episode offers grounded, trauma-informed insight into emotional safety, relational misattunement, masking, shutdowns, and the work of staying connected without abandoning yourself.This is not fast advice.It is steady guidance.If you are autistic, ADHD, AuDHD — or in partnership with someone who is — this space honors how your nervous system actually works. No fixing. No performance. No pressure.Each episode offers:• Clear context for shutdowns, masking, burnout, and relational friction• Nervous-system–informed tools for regulation and repair• Language for building safer, more intentional partnership in midlifeListen when you’re ready.This space is consistent, thoughtful, and here to meet you at your own pace.Subscribe on Substack at blazelazarony.substack.com for essays, resources, and extended reflections from the work.Follow @BlazeLazarony on Instagram for ongoing context.#AutismRelationships #NeurodivergentCouples #AutisticMarriage #ADHDRelationships #AuDHD #MidlifeMarriage #TraumaInformedCare

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