Singles Partners Marrieds Long Time Marrieds Podcast

Gary McFarlane
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  • MENTAL HEALTH

Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options; to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.  Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro “[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar You are destined to repeat the issues with a new partner. So, work it through with this partner, to better understand self; then you are in a better place to make an informed decision whether to stay or leave.So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Here are some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); better understanding of Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma, Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression. (Trauma is the internal wound). Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding.  Then reclaim your life; bring about change – over time, on the way to your recovery. Gary McFarlane of The Kairos Centre launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together his experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 23 years and a few books written on the subjects. (Visit www.kairos-centre.com). Key words: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice, Marriage Tips, Couples Therapy, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Communication, Building Trust in Relationships, intimacy in Marriage, Marriage Recovery, Sex in Relationships, Sex in Marriage, Sex not working, Sex dysfunction, Sex problems, Attachment issues in relationship, Childhood issues in relationship, Marriage Counsellor, Marriage Counselling, Couples counselling, Singles and issues

  1. 1D AGO

    So partner - is that really how I chose you?

    Send a text Unconscious Couples Collusive fit - of attraction to each other. Identify with any of these dynamics in your partnered relationship - now or in the past? Henry Dicks suggested that there are three areas involved in a couple fit: A public fit of social class, ethnicity and education between couples. Each partner will have had different experiences from childhood. Both of the partners may have had attachment issues from childhood and have separation anxiety, but they may have different coping styles. One might be compulsive anxious attachment, one might have compulsive fearful avoidant attachment and both may struggle trusting an attachment figure. Babes in the Wood: Cling together in the face of impossible odds. Unconscious rejection - repressed anger within relationship - expressed anger at people outside the relationship by partner one. Unconscious rejection - repressed against anger within relationship - expressed anger at people outside the relationship by partner two. They often look the same and will behave in a likeable, affable manner. A couple such as this see all the bad things in the world as belonging in the outside world and not part of themselves. They keep anything bad out of their relationship. The world literally is a “big bad wolf” to them. Net and Sword: The ‘net’ shows all the love & tries to encompass, control or placate the sword. Conscious rejection - deny need or yearning for other by partner one. Conscious yearning by partner two. The relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings & decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings. There is Conscious rejection deny need or yearning for other the by partner two. One partner shows all the love in the relationship and the other all the rejection. One partner expresses all the denied emotions that the other cannot or will not express. This relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings and decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings, often plunging the other into confusion or profound feelings of loss. (One of them has moved the goalposts). Cat and Dog: Characterised by anger, rejection & other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other. Conscious rejection - deny need or yearning for other by partner one. Conscious rejection deny need or yearning for other by partner two. They often will not separate because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. Yet they fight. (Like Tom & Jerry cartoon). It is portrayed in Edward Albee’s play "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf", and is characterised by anger, rejection and a host of other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other and their lives seem like a war zone. (Very similar to the relationship which Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor lived out). Intimacy is regulated by conflict and they often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. In these relationship 'fits', the couple relationship is marked by parts of themselves that they are denying; counselling can help the couple “re-fit” their relationship. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building, Marriage counselling,Marriage help,Marriage therapy,Couples counselling,Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship,Lo

    13 min

  2. FEB 20

    Partner - "How come I chose you as my Partner?"

    Send a text Mate/Partner selection, Collusive/Couple fit and all that: Why did I choose you and not someone else on planet earth? "I have never met you before or hardly know you, yet in a room of 100 people, I gravitate to you". How does that happen? My reply as a Therapist: "Because you 'promise' (or hold the potential) to fix and supplement an aspect of me which needs what you have - but I am not going to tell you that and make myself vulnerable." Say what? Yep. "So you are saying that we gravitate to sameness (to compliment each other), as well as differenceness (to supplement my perceived deficits) - which I don't want you to know about and even I don't necessarily and consciously want to own that fact?" All very odd. Yep - because most of that dynamic lives in the unconscious, which is what Therapy with The Kairos Centre helps you with - to move as much from the unconscious into the conscious; so that when it is now in the conscious, you get the opportunity to try to do something about it; but just because it is now in the conscious does not mean you will be able to change what is now visible - quickly. It takes take to effect change. Why? Because you are going after patterns of behaviours set up in the childhood development period, where blueprints and templates were established and set in place and practised into adulthood.  "So my thoughts and behaviours are going down a predictable course because of repeatedly practiced patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways and it takes time to change well entrenched and well established patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways?".  Yep. You got it. "Little wonder then that I set about trying to avoid getting it wrong again (by choosing that wrong type of partner) and to avoid that, I go to extreme opposite ends of the spectrum of attributes and blow me, I end up with someone where the same negative behaviours eventually show up again. Oh - yuk"! Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building, Marriage counselling,Marriage help,Marriage therapy,Couples counselling,Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another

    14 min

  3. FEB 13

    Sex Ed from 'Peers, Banter & Porn' is very common and normative

    Send a text From where did you get your Sex Ed knowledge back there during the developing childhood years, which you have been following through and repeatedly practising in adulthood? Was it 'Peers, banter and porn' which set up your sexual template, long before school Sex Ed - which got there way too late; the deed was already done.  You give a wry smile when asked about Sex Ed at home from parents! For most - there was none at home; for others, if there was, it came way too late. Once the five senses of sight, smell, taste, touch & sound brings images and experiences onto the brain - those 'firsts' have already set up the templates - which will then be repeatedly played out in adulthood sexuality, as being 'right' and 'works'.  Not necessarily true. They are templates, but they may not be accurate of 'right'. They are just what your brain experienced as 'first time' and the template is set up (whether wanted or not) and will reproduce and reproduce; churning out the same old, same old - 'seems to work'; (but you know it isn't working as you want it to work! The setting up of those templates during the childhood development period are called sexual myths. Sexual myths need to be unlearned. Then replaced with accurate knowledge about human sexually and physiological responses.  That is what The Kairos Centre provide, when its Therapists are wearing a different hat and skill set called Psychosexual Therapy. (I use the shorted term of 'Sex Therapy'). It can be transformation, when (for the first time) you experience Sensuality, Intimacy, Romance, Deep Love & Affection - at a must higher level (after cleansing out the dross); which is so fulfilling on its own; and you haven't even had sex yet! Come and see and experience it for yourself. Then you will have eyes to see and body to feel the difference of 'sex gone wrong' all those years that you have been doing it! Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building, Marriage counselling,Marriage help,Marriage therapy,Couples counselling,Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another

    14 min

  4. FEB 6

    Women do it too - and maybe with increased SHAME!

    Send a text Part 5 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Here is a portion of an article by Lauren Dubinsky - Founder of Good Women Project: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn, 2012  "Pornography is a charged subject, and it's a word that rarely crosses the lips of most women. Yes, there are now breeds of the modern woman who watch, talk and joke about it regularly, but most of us still stay farther away from speaking the word than we actually stay away from it...... but statistics show that, at least in Australia, more than one-third of pornography viewers are women. Just last week, I received an email from a girl who leads a small women's group; they'd just discovered that every single one of them were watching porn. When I was in high school, pornography was on the long list of "bad things" that I didn't know much about -- and unfortunately also on the list of things I had participated in. Never mind why I was watching it, the how is the same for nearly all of us: We stumbled upon it because of someone else. And none of us knew what to expect, or how to handle it. I wish someone had talked about how women watch it too, so I wouldn't have had to spend years living under the shame that comes with being "the only one" and thinking there was something wrong with me....." What are the psychosexual issues that we work with as Sex Therapists, which young people are storing up and manifests in their twenties. Erectile Dysfunction: Inability to get or keep an erectionDelayed/Retarded ejaculation: Inability or 'long' delay in being able to ejaculatePremature Ejaculation: Coming too quicklyVaginismus: Inability for penis to enter the vagina due to vaginal musclesDyspareunia: Female pain during vaginal penetrationSexual Desire Disorder: Little or no desire for sexLack of Orgasm: Inability to reach an OrgasmSpectatoring during sex: Coaching self during sex and so not fully presentGenital/body dysmorphia: Belief that g******s are not 'normal'Spermaphobia: Fear of ejaculation and specifically spermEurotophobia: Aversion to/fear of female genitaliaSickle cell Priapism: Ejection failure to reduce and is longlastingVulvar painGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another

    8 min

  5. JAN 30

    Men & porn - tut, tut, tut. Women & romantic novels - what's the problem!

    Send a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Part 4 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Covid-19 contributed to a significant increase in the compulsive use of porn in 10 to 75 years old. Women gravitated to webcam usage during lockdown – maybe coerced by partners making it seem like a necessary substitute. Many such females do not yet know they might be addicted until they try to stop. What is this thing called “Love Addiction”? Well, I believe it is all about trying to fill an Insecure Attachment need. What’s that? Set up in childhood development where the bonding with key parental figures was not 'good enough'. “Say what!'.  There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage. Logic goes offline. There is little care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. "I see, I desire, I want, so I take" kicks in. Immediate gratification rules. So, a lot of women worldwide, have become addicted or have a compulsion towards porn, but do not realise it. Arguably, there is greater 'Shame' for women, who then need to go deeper under ground and sty 'hidden.  Stay means hide/hidden - don't tell or be found out. Remember SHAME + NARICISSISM = SEX ADDICTION. Some interesting stats from BACP Mindometer 2025 News from BACP:  This annual survey into the state of the nation's mental health identified that almost two thirds (64%) of therapists say the public’s mental health has deteriorated over the past year. Nearly all therapists identified financial pressures and the rising cost of living as major contributing factors, while 83% reported that war and global conflict have also negatively affected people’s wellbeing. The survey gathered insights from almost 3,000 members, highlights several emerging trends: 62% of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in alcohol addiction over the past yearOver half (53%) of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in porn addiction over the past yearWhat a shame the questions were focussed primarily on men. Interesting isn't it! In August 2024, BACP published its Addictions Competence Framework, identifying specialist knowledge, skills and abilities that counsellors require to effectively support adults living with addictions.   Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Anger,Husband ha

    8 min

  6. JAN 23

    We fall in love with Sameness and Differentness

    Send a text Part 3 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Snippet of an interview with Caroline Brown of “This Crazy over 40s Life”: Relationships & Collusive fits Sameness and/or difference attracts and are bonded together; but something shifts somewhere along the journey; falling out of love visited the couple. We fall in love with 'Differenceness' and 'Sameness'. Over the years, we can become dissatisfied with the unconscious differences of a partner, that is now in the conscious. So we set about trying to change them to be more like us, since those visible and conscious differences are no longer seemingly acceptable or wanted.  We consciously now only want the sameness bits. So the fight over the toilet seat (up or down), and the top off the toothpaste, is in full flow. Yet, it has nothing to do with the toilet seat or the toothpaste (which 'breaks the camel's back') - causing us to retreat from the relationship. Here is a little of what Authors Jacobs, Dicks & Scarff have to say:  "Unconscious attraction: Choice or chemistry: we are not aware of it. At an unconscious level we often pick and are picked out by a partner who has had similar earlier life experiences. They may have dealt with these experiences in an opposite way. Unconscious choice of a partner is based on similarity. It may feel that you "complete each other" or have found your "other half........When couples unconsciously choose each other it may be as a second chance to play out old conflicts (from childhood) which were not successfully managed the first time around". We choose partners & are chosen by partners at both conscious & conscious levels. Counselling may explore the idea of "chemistry" between two people: how two people "fit" together to form a "whole". Hendrix & LaKelly add their worth by suggesting: "The Search For "One and Only": So how does this information add to our understanding of romantic attraction? We seem to be highly selective in our choice of mates. In fact, we appear to be searching for a "one and only" with a very specific set of positive and negative traits....... we are each looking for someone who has the predominant character traits of the people who raised us....it is a compelling need to heal old childhood wounds".  Aren't we strange and fickle people - us human beings? Might AI do it better for us - partner choice I mean? Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reproc

    8 min

  7. JAN 9

    What is it about men and commitment?

    Send a text Part 2 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective What does emasculation of men mean? A browser search result says about Emasculation: 'It refers to the perceived loss of traditional masculine attributes, such as strength and power, often resulting from societal changes or dynamics in relationship'.  Were those traditional values 'fit for purpose anyway'? What does the new attributes look like? Are men trying to make them fit, but experiencing a straight jacket effect? When men do not feel that they are getting it right, the desire to self-soothe to manage emotions, is all the more prevalent.  Russian dolls very well illustrates the brain's attempts to protect and guard us from repeat pain from situations experienced in the childhood development years. The real us, may have got stunted, where the brain built layers and layers around the inner child from the time of early developmental traumas and uncomfortable issues.  By adulthood, maybe you no longer know who is the 'Real' you. You get a split second sight of him (very rarely), but before you are ready, he pops back in and disappears. When you get that split second sighting, you know you could get to like him, but as you hold up your hands to beckon him to stay, just as quickly, he disappears. (Make sense to anyone?) You learn to present a version of you, dependent upon the persona you think that group of people want to see or have got use to seeing; but it may not be the real authentic you. It may have got tiring living in that mould and you have outgrown that version of you, but the 'system' won't let you change and metamorphose into a different version of you. You are stuck. The coat no longer fits. So you self-soothe with P....  Men are “Wild at heart”. That book by John Eldredge – maybe is on to something. Where there is something that is not done “good enough” during childhood development, the brain sets about trying to fill the deficits with coping strategies. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy,Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Domestic Violence,Family Conflict,

    9 min

  8. 12/02/2025

    Intergenerational Trauma which the Couple take into the relationship

    Send a text Part 1 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Intergenerational Trauma. What’s that about? Inherited culture and how scripts get passed on like a baton in a relay race. Does it need to stop with you and not get passed on to your next generation (the Children)? So difficult to break out of boundaries and shackles. Things of patterns - like Addictions - get passed on to the next generation. It must be in the water! Here is just one angle from which Intergenerational trauma could show itself. This is from the Parent and child relationship: "Intergenerational trauma is really about interpersonal transmission of trauma. If you are a traumatized parent, your child may become a trigger..... Because of those experiences, the child you have will not get the full-fledged affection that you have and that they need. Mothers who have experienced terrible things may become all uptight in the presence of their children because they may not be able to open their heart to another person and experience the joy that that can give....How we experience any one thing is very much how we interact with each other....." - Dr Bessel Van der kolk The Kairos Centre have launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together is experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 19 years and a few books written on the subjects. Might that Programme be an alternative way for you to work through your Singleness or Partnership issues without seeing a Therapist? Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy,Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Domestic Violence,Family Conflict,

    8 min
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About

Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options; to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.  Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro “[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don’t leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar You are destined to repeat the issues with a new partner. So, work it through with this partner, to better understand self; then you are in a better place to make an informed decision whether to stay or leave.So, let’s begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Here are some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); better understanding of Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma, Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression. (Trauma is the internal wound). Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding.  Then reclaim your life; bring about change – over time, on the way to your recovery. Gary McFarlane of The Kairos Centre launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together his experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 23 years and a few books written on the subjects. (Visit www.kairos-centre.com). Key words: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice, Marriage Tips, Couples Therapy, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Communication, Building Trust in Relationships, intimacy in Marriage, Marriage Recovery, Sex in Relationships, Sex in Marriage, Sex not working, Sex dysfunction, Sex problems, Attachment issues in relationship, Childhood issues in relationship, Marriage Counsellor, Marriage Counselling, Couples counselling, Singles and issues

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