I am Hope in the Chaos

Jamie Kodra
  • 5.0 (3)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Navigating bipolar disorder (and other mental health struggles) one real moment at a time. Hosted by Jamie Kodra, this podcast brings honest stories, raw emotion, and real support for those living with bipolar—or loving someone who is. Because chaos doesn’t mean hopeless. You’re not alone. 

  1. 12/17/2025

    What Wanting To Kill Yourself Actually Feels Like

    Need to chat? Send a text! This is one of the most vulnerable and important episodes I’ve ever shared. In this episode, I speak honestly about suicidal thoughts — not to sensationalize them, but to explain what they actually feel like from the inside. When the thought “I want to kill myself” appears, it isn’t about wanting life to end. It’s about wanting the moment to stop — the pain, the chaos, the unbearable weight of right now. I talk about what happens when the mind narrows, logic disappears, and illness takes over. What it feels like to cross that line believing you’re ending pain — not your life. And what comes after, when the episode breaks and clarity returns: the shock of surviving, and the realization of how temporary the moment truly was. This episode also names an important truth: finding what we want to live for matters — but it is not the only thing people need to survive suicide. Insight alone doesn’t stop an episode. Love alone doesn’t quiet an illness. Meaning alone doesn’t always break through when the brain is in survival mode. Surviving takes more than one thing. It takes support, treatment, preparation, and people who are willing to show up consistently — to hear us, to stay, and to remind us that we matter, even when we can’t feel it ourselves. This episode is about moments versus lives. About why the thought feels permanent and why the moment isn’t. And about what it really takes to survive when our minds can’t be trusted. If you’ve ever had these thoughts, or loved someone who has, this episode is for you. You are not weak. You are not broken. And you are not alone. There is always hope in the chaos. _________________________________________________ Support Resources If this episode brought up anything difficult, you don’t have to handle it alone. • United States: Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7) • Crisis Text Line (U.S. & some other countries): Text HOME to 741741 • UK & ROI: Samaritans — 116 123 or samaritans.org • Australia: Lifeline — 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au • Canada: Talk Suicide — 1-833-456-4566 or talksuicide.ca If you’re elsewhere, you can find local crisis lines at findahelpline.com. If calling feels like too much, reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or support group can also help. If you’re not in immediate crisis but still need support, consider: • A therapist, psychiatrist, or primary care provider • Peer support groups (NAMI, DBSA, or local community groups) • Letting someone safe know that you’re struggling Support doesn’t have to mean an emergency to be valid. You deserve care, support, and time, especially during heavy moments. Support the show

    18 min

  2. 11/18/2025

    Never Enough

    Need to chat? Send a text! This episode explores what it truly feels like to spend your whole life believing you’re “never enough,” even while giving more than anyone realizes. Jamie shares the emotional reality of growing up unheard, working endlessly to earn worth, and watching others receive the praise she desperately needed but never got. For years, every burst of energy, every project, every late-night surge of creativity felt like purpose — like maybe this time it would finally be enough. What she didn’t know then was that these highs were part of the bipolar disorder she’d carried since childhood. The rush, the drive, the “I can do everything” energy — and the emptiness that followed — were cycles she didn’t have language for. Cycles that left her chasing validation that never came. This episode walks through how those early wounds and lifelong bipolar patterns tangled together, creating a painful belief that worth had to be earned. Jamie explains the emotional and internal experience behind the highs, the crashes, the invisibility, and the quiet heartbreak of giving everything while feeling unseen. It’s a look at the patterns that made her question her value for decades — and the realization that her worth was never in the highs, the doing, the praise, or the people who didn’t see her. It was something she always had, even when she couldn’t feel it. If you’ve ever carried the weight of “never enough,” this conversation will remind you that you always were. Support the show

    22 min

  3. 10/17/2025

    A Life Saved by Listening

    Need to chat? Send a text! Sometimes, saving a life doesn’t come from a prescription, a therapy session, or a perfect plan — it comes from listening. In this deeply personal episode, Jamie opens up about what it truly means to help someone struggling with suicidal thoughts and bipolar disorder. She shares her own experiences of standing in the darkness — both as the one reaching out and as the one who answered the call. You’ll hear how compassion, understanding, and human connection can bridge the gap when proper treatment or resources aren’t within reach. Sometimes, advocacy is as simple — and as profound — as saying, “I’m here.” If you or someone you know is struggling, please remember: You are not alone. You can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, visit 988lifeline.org, or call 911 if you’re in immediate danger. 💙 Connect with Jamie: Instagram & Facebook: @IAmHopeInTheChaos Email: findhope@iamhopeinthechaos.com 🎧 Listen now and be reminded that sometimes, a life can be saved… simply by listening. Support the show

    14 min

  4. 10/09/2025

    The Cost Of Being Misun

    Need to chat? Send a text! There’s a certain kind of pain that comes with being misunderstood — the kind that runs deeper than words, deeper than logic. In this episode, Jamie opens up about a recent manic episode and the raw reality of what it feels like to lose control of yourself while the world around you struggles to understand. She shares the truth behind mania — the chaos, the helplessness, and the heartbreak of watching those you love not know how to help. Through her story, Jamie explores the emotional cost of being misunderstood and how empathy, presence, and advocacy can change everything. This isn’t just about bipolar disorder — it’s about every person who’s ever felt unseen, unheard, or misjudged in their struggle. Because being understood, even by one person, can make all the difference. 💙 You’re not alone in this chaos. There is hope — and it starts with being seen. Support the show

    18 min

  5. 10/03/2025

    Every Patient Deserves To Be Heard

    Need to chat? Send a text! Far too often, patients spend years searching for answers, only to feel dismissed, ignored, or abandoned in the process. In this episode, I share my own journey of what it was like to finally find a doctor who truly listened—someone who cared enough to dig deeper and help me discover what I really needed. Every patient deserves that same care. It shouldn’t take years of frustration and pain to be seen, heard, and treated with dignity. Together, we’ll explore what it means to advocate for yourself in the healthcare system, how to build lasting relationships with providers who actually listen, and what steps you can take to keep your voice strong as a patient. Because at the end of the day—your story matters, your voice matters, and your health journey deserves respect. Support the show

    9 min

  6. 09/24/2025

    Everyday Anchors

    Need to chat? Send a text! Life’s storms can feel overwhelming, but it’s often the small, steady practices that keep us grounded. In this episode of I Am Hope in the Chaos, Jamie explores the idea of everyday anchors—simple tools and habits that help us find calm in the middle of mental and emotional turbulence. She shares her own story of stepping barefoot into the grass and explains the powerful science and symbolism behind grounding. From breathwork and journaling to creativity, movement, and sensory resets, Jamie highlights practical ways to create anchors you can return to again and again. This episode also includes a guided breathwork meditation you can follow along with, designed to help you pause, breathe, and reconnect to your own inner steadiness. ✨ Anchors don’t stop the storms, but they keep us from drifting away. And always remember—there is hope in the chaos. Support the show

    16 min

  7. 09/17/2025

    The Things We Can’t Stop

    Need to chat? Send a text! Bad things happen in life, no matter how much we plan, prepare, or hope they won’t. In this episode, Jamie reflects on the reality of life’s winters—those unavoidable seasons of loss, pain, and struggle—and how they affect our mental health. Drawing from Katherine May’s Wintering and sharing her own tender story of losing her golden doodle, Oliver, Jamie explores how grief lingers, how support often falls short, and why the best help is the kind that arrives unasked for. This episode is a reminder that winter isn’t weakness—it’s part of being human. And even in the coldest, darkest seasons, there is quiet hope waiting for the light to return. Support the show

    13 min

  8. 09/03/2025

    Hope’s Journey & the Roller Coaster of Bipolar

    Need to chat? Send a text! Life with bipolar disorder isn’t about willpower or “snapping out of it.” It’s a storm inside the brain that feels like a roller coaster—soaring highs, crashing lows, and turns you never see coming. In this episode, I open up about what it really feels like to navigate bipolar, the invisible struggles most people don’t see, and the long, painful process of finding the right diagnosis and treatment. I also share the heart behind my upcoming book, Hope’s Journey: Finding the Light, releasing this month. This story isn’t just for those with bipolar or the families supporting them—it’s for anyone who has ever felt unseen, overwhelmed by emotions, or in need of hope in the middle of their chaos. Tune in as we navigate bipolar disorder one real moment at a time—and remember, there is hope in the chaos.  Support the show

    14 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Navigating bipolar disorder (and other mental health struggles) one real moment at a time. Hosted by Jamie Kodra, this podcast brings honest stories, raw emotion, and real support for those living with bipolar—or loving someone who is. Because chaos doesn’t mean hopeless. You’re not alone. 

Information

  • Creator
    Jamie Kodra
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 I am Hope in the Chaos
  • Show Website
    I am Hope in the Chaos