Don’t come to me for advice!

Petra Paterson
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  • Philosophy
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DIY therapy from a 50-something chick who can’t afford a therapist. Raw, real, and a little bit ridiculous. An unfiltered look at one woman fumbling her way through midlife, questioning everything and trying to figure out what the hell comes next. From navigating menopause, emotional eating and the strange business of having grown-up kids, to resisting the urge to strangle the man you love most, pet hair avalanches, money worries and starting over after redundancy at 55. It’s about self-doubt, big dreams, questionable decisions, finding your people and occasionally getting your shit together. Or at least attempting to. No life-changing advice. No five-step plans. Just honest stories, a bit of swearing, plenty of laughter and the ongoing adventure of figuring out life after 50. Mo Mo…

  1. Nov 1

    A Sales Pitch, a Rave & a Midlife Realization

    I'm 55, newly redundant, and trying to figure out what the hell comes next. Part of that means getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people and putting myself in rooms I wouldn't normally walk into. So I went to two events that couldn't have been more different. One was a marketing workshop full of big promises, sales techniques and some of the worst coffee I've ever had. The other was Lou Featherstone's Swap & Rave in Birmingham. Think fabulous women, outrageous outfits, clothes swapping, dancing and the kind of welcome that makes you feel like you belong. I left one event feeling completely out of place. I left the other feeling inspired, connected and wondering why I hadn't done something like that sooner. But both experiences made me question what success actually means to me. Because yes, I need to make money. I need to learn how to sell myself and value what I have to offer. But I also want to have fun, meet interesting people and build a life that actually feels like mine. And perhaps finding the right people matters just as much as finding the right opportunities. No expert advice. No miraculous transformation. Just another week of trying to figure myself out. Mentioned in this episode: Lou Featherstone's TED Talk:Watch Lou Featherstone's TED Talk on YouTube If you enjoyed this episode, please follow Don't Come to Me for Advice and share it with someone who might need a reminder that it's never too late to try something different.

  2. Oct 20

    One Week Unemployed: Big Dreams, Money Worries & a Vibrator Offer

    One week after being made redundant at 55, and what a bloody roller coaster it's been. One minute I'm full of excitement about starting over, trying new things and possibly creating a life that looks completely different from the one I've known. The next I'm lying awake in the middle of the night wondering how we're going to pay the bills. This week I'm talking about a £3,000 disagreement over my redundancy pay, feeling guilty about a promise I made to my kids, discovering how many people have reinvented themselves later in life, and the rather unexpected brand offer that landed in my Instagram messages. Yes, it involved a vibrator. I'm also admitting something that feels almost ridiculous to say out loud: I'd love to make a living doing something I genuinely enjoy, including this podcast. But where do you even start when you're 55, unemployed and have absolutely no idea how any of this is going to turn out? I'm not here with a ten-step plan or a success story. I'm figuring it out as I go, sharing the good bits, the scary bits and the occasional completely inappropriate bits. Welcome back to Don't Come to Me for Advice. If you're starting over, thinking about changing your life or simply wondering whether there's something else out there for you, I'd love to hear your story.

  3. Oct 8

    I Got Made Redundant. Why Do I Feel So Good?

    Well, it finally f*****g happened. After months of uncertainty, endless waiting and wondering what the hell was going on, I've officially been made redundant at 55. And here's the weird part: I actually feel pretty bloody good. Don't get me wrong. I need to earn money. Proper money. And starting again at 55 is bloody scary. But for the first time in months, I'm not waiting for somebody else to decide what happens next. In this first episode of Series 3, I'm sitting in the stable with Derry, talking about the redundancy meeting, some frustrating experiences with management, my not-so-perfect coping mechanisms, and the fear that's actually bothering me most. What if I let myself down? I've spent years working in jobs I didn't particularly love. So what if this is an opportunity to find out what I actually enjoy? Could I build something of my own? Could I earn money doing something I genuinely love? Or will fear send me straight back to something familiar? I don't know yet. But I've got a little breathing room, a few ideas, and absolutely no idea where this is going. Welcome to Series 3.

  4. Sep 13

    I'm in the Scary Bit

    It's been a while. Again. And there's a reason for that. I went pretty dark for a few weeks. Work is still uncertain, my confidence took a kicking, and the big idea I was getting excited about suddenly became “Who the f**k do you think you are?” So I did what I haven't been very good at doing lately: I got off the sofa, took the dogs out and pressed record. Somewhere along the way I got genuinely lost — which turned out to be a pretty accurate metaphor for where I am in life right now. I don't know whether I'll build the freelance thing. I don't know whether I'll need another job. I don't know exactly how I'm going to make the next chapter work. But I do know I can't stay where I am. We see a lot of people online once they've made it. Once they've changed their life, built the business, got healthy, found themselves. This isn't that story. This is the scary bit before you know whether any of it is going to work. And maybe that's the bit worth sharing.

  5. Jul 8

    Why Am I Even Bothering?

    Today was one of those days. The weather was beautiful, my holiday is only days away... and somehow my brain still found a reason to focus on everything that was wrong. Then I stepped on the scales. I'd put on two pounds. For a moment, I genuinely thought, "Why am I even bothering?" So I had to stop and remind myself why I started this journey in the first place. It was never just about losing weight. It was about changing my relationship with food, learning not to reach for unhealthy coping mechanisms every time life gets uncomfortable, and becoming someone who doesn't disappear when things get hard. Some days I need that reminder more than others.

  6. Jul 5

    I Almost Spiralled Again... But This Time Was Different

    Yesterday could easily have turned into one of my old blowout days. A work email triggered that familiar feeling of uncertainty, and before I knew it I was scrolling, avoiding, bargaining with myself, and heading straight towards the spiral I've fallen into so many times before. This time, something was different. In this episode I talk about how I interrupted that spiral, why removing unhealthy coping mechanisms has taught me more than I expected, and the realisation that hit me when I finally allowed myself to sit with uncomfortable feelings. I also discovered something unexpected... Maybe the goal isn't to get rid of the knot in my stomach. Maybe it's to make the butterflies louder.

  7. Jul 1

    The Toilet Anxiety Attack Chocolate Couldn't Fix

    This week I had what felt like an anxiety attack... sitting on the toilet. Nobody had said anything to me. Nothing had actually happened. But within seconds my throat was closing up, my stomach was in knots and all I wanted was my phone so I didn't have to sit with what I was feeling. That moment made me realise something I've never properly understood before. Maybe the chocolate wasn't the problem.Maybe the wine wasn't the problem.Maybe the endless scrolling isn't the problem either. Maybe they're all just different ways I've learned not to feel rejection, fear and not being "good enough." In this episode I talk about: why waiting for a job offer triggered me so badlyhow constantly moving as a child shaped mewhy I've spent years trying to numb uncomfortable feelingsand why I finally messaged my therapist again.As always, this isn't advice. It's just me figuring life out... out loud.

  8. Jun 28

    Retrain The Brain, Frustrated With The Scales, Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

    This week felt like a turning point. I've finally given what I'm doing a name: Retrain the Brain. It's no longer about another diet or another plan. It's about teaching myself to deal with stress, uncertainty and discomfort without automatically reaching for food, alcohol or other old comfort blankets. The frustrating part? Fourteen days in, the scales still haven't moved. But maybe that's not the biggest win this week. In this episode: • Retrain the Brain – why I've finally given my method a name and what I'm actually trying to change. • Frustrated with the scales – why I'm choosing to trust the process, even when I'm not seeing the results I hoped for. • Stepping out of my comfort zone – from posting on TikTok to finally taking this podcast seriously, and why this week's uncertainty has made me realise it's time to start building something of my own. If you're trying to change your habits, your relationship with food, or simply become a braver version of yourself, I hope this makes you feel a little less alone.

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DIY therapy from a 50-something chick who can’t afford a therapist. Raw, real, and a little bit ridiculous. An unfiltered look at one woman fumbling her way through midlife, questioning everything and trying to figure out what the hell comes next. From navigating menopause, emotional eating and the strange business of having grown-up kids, to resisting the urge to strangle the man you love most, pet hair avalanches, money worries and starting over after redundancy at 55. It’s about self-doubt, big dreams, questionable decisions, finding your people and occasionally getting your shit together. Or at least attempting to. No life-changing advice. No five-step plans. Just honest stories, a bit of swearing, plenty of laughter and the ongoing adventure of figuring out life after 50. Mo Mo…

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