Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

Angela Amias
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What happens when what you learned about relationships doesn't help you create the kind of connection you long for—and you're left wondering: how do I do this differently? Ask Angela is a relationship advice column devoted to answering the questions that arise when you're navigating intimacy after trauma. Hosted by Angela Amias—therapist, writer, and founder of the Institute for Trauma-Informed Relationships—Ask Angela offers honest guidance with deep respect for where you've been. Each episode is based on a listener's letter—raw, true, and deeply human. Angela's advice weaves together the practical and the poetic, grounded in years of experience helping individuals and couples heal the patterns that keep them stuck. If you've ever felt like you're too much or not enough—or you just can't figure out why relationships feel so hard—this podcast is for you. Whether the question is about betrayal and trust, communication, emotional connection, or healing after heartbreak, Ask Angela is a space for learning how to untangle the past and build something new. Because love after trauma takes a different kind of wisdom—and you don't have to figure it out alone.

  1. FEB 10

    The Real Reason Happy Couples Start Arguing

    Is there such a thing as being too different to be happy together? When couples start arguing in a relationship after a long stretch of ease and harmony, it's easy to wonder whether something has gone wrong—or whether love is quietly slipping away. Many people experience this shift as confusing and discouraging, especially when the early connection once felt so natural. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who is questioning compatibility after the honeymoon phase has ended. As differences become more visible and small disagreements turn into frequent tension, the relationship begins to feel unfamiliar—and harder to sustain. Angela explores: Why relationship conflict often emerges as a honeymoon phase relationship gives way to deeper intimacy How arguing in a relationship can signal growth rather than incompatibility The difference between constructive and destructive conflict—and why it matters Why closeness doesn't actually depend on sameness, even though it can feel that way at first How curiosity and communication help couples navigate differences without losing connection If you're noticing more conflict after the honeymoon phase, feeling unsettled by differences, or wondering whether ongoing arguments mean your relationship is fundamentally flawed, this episode offers perspective, reassurance, and grounded guidance for navigating this important transition. ✑ Submit your own question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone. Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    18 min

  2. 10/21/2025

    Can Love Survive When Illness and Grief Take Over?

    What happens when illness and grief collide in a relationship? How do you move forward when the person you love has already turned away—and the end of your marriage feels like one more profound loss to grieve? For many couples, grief in relationships unfolds quietly, shaped by circumstances neither partner chose and struggles neither fully understood. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener whose wife has asked for a separation after years of emotional distance shaped by chronic illness, infertility, and accumulated loss. As the relationship unraveled, grief and misunderstanding replaced the connection they once shared. Angela explores: How chronic illness can be misread as emotional withdrawal, and how illness and relationships strain intimacy over time Why grief changes our capacity for closeness, clarity, and emotional availability The difference between self-blame and genuine grief—and why grief is often the necessary path forward What it means to surrender control without abandoning love or dignity How a relationship can be real, meaningful, and loving—even when it cannot continue If you're navigating grief in a relationship, facing the impact of illness on intimacy, or struggling to make sense of love that has changed or ended, this episode offers tenderness, perspective, and grounded relationship guidance during a season of loss. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave your own question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone. Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma This is the final episode of Season One—Ask Angela will return with new episodes on February 10, 2026.

    16 min

  3. 10/07/2025

    Does loving unconditionally mean letting myself be treated like a toy?

    Is unconditional love in relationships supposed to mean accepting hurtful behavior? What happens when someone is hot and cold in a relationship—leaving you emotionally drained, confused, and full of self-blame? Where is the line between loving deeply and staying in a dynamic that slowly erodes your sense of self? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wonders whether unconditional love in relationships means remaining in a partnership that feels inconsistent, painful, and emotionally unsafe. Angela explores: Why hot-and-cold relationship dynamics can feel addictive and destabilizing How unconditional love differs from unconditional relationships Why boundaries in relationships are essential for love that feels safe, steady, and mutual How self-blame develops in confusing or toxic dynamics—and how to begin releasing it What real reciprocity looks like, and why it matters for long-term connection If you're questioning whether staying is an act of love—or recognizing that a relationship leaves you doubting yourself—this episode offers clarity, compassion, and grounded relationship guidance for navigating confusing or painful dynamics. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone. Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    20 min

  4. 09/09/2025

    I ended a bad relationship. But now I feel stuck.

    What if leaving a painful relationship doesn't bring relief—but leaves you feeling numb, disconnected, and grieving in a new way? What if the part of you that once cared deeply now feels buried beneath emotional exhaustion? For many people, healing after a relationship ends doesn't begin with clarity or momentum—but with a quiet sense of depletion and loss. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Heather, who left a deeply painful relationship only to find herself in an unfamiliar state of apathy. She wonders how to move forward when healing feels stalled—and when the relationship that now feels most difficult is the one she has with herself. This episode is for anyone navigating the quiet aftermath of a relationship that took everything it could—when survival has ended, but restoration hasn't yet begun. Angela explores: Why emotional numbness and apathy often follow the end of painful relationships The hidden healing work that unfolds beneath exhaustion and disconnection How to recognize when your nervous system is asking for rest, not effort The difference between distraction and true restoration How small, soulful practices can help rebuild your relationship with yourself Why it's important not to "take stock too soon" after leaving a damaging relationship If you're wondering whether you'll ever feel like yourself again after a relationship ends—or struggling to reconnect with care, meaning, or aliveness—this episode offers gentle insight, grounding metaphors, and reassurance for the season you're in. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone. Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    15 min

  5. 08/26/2025

    She's waiting for me to change. I'm trying to figure out how.

    How do you fix a relationship when love is still there—but your partner is burned out from carrying the emotional load? Especially when you never learned the relationship communication skills you needed in the first place? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Jazmin, a listener who finds herself at a painful turning point. She's in the healthiest relationship of her life—but her wife is exhausted after years of carrying the emotional labor and waiting for Jazmin to fully show up. Now, Jazmin is trying to understand how the cycle formed, and whether it's possible to begin again before it's too late. This episode is for anyone learning to love midstream—growing into responsibility, communication, and presence while still healing. Angela explores: Why emotional labor in relationships can quietly erode even deep love over time How unequal responsibility and underfunctioning develop—and why they're so hard to interrupt How early experiences can disrupt adult relationship communication skills What it really means to move from avoidance or underfunctioning into full participation Why trying to "fix a relationship" requires different questions—not panic or pressure How sustainable change grows from inner motivation, not fear of loss If you've ever looked at someone you love and thought, I don't want to lose this—but I don't know how to change, this episode offers thoughtful relationship guidance rooted in self-reflection, accountability, compassion, and courage. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone.   Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    21 min

  6. 08/12/2025

    Our Traumas Got the Best of Us. How Do I Break the Cycle?

    How do you trust yourself to love again after a toxic relationship—especially when trauma got in the way of the love you shared? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a young mother navigating a painful breakup with her child's father. The love was real—but so were the patterns that made the relationship unsustainable. Now she's wondering how to heal, when (or whether) to start dating again, and how to avoid repeating the same dynamics in the future. For many people, trusting yourself after a toxic relationship isn't about blaming yourself for what went wrong—it's about learning how to listen to your inner signals again after self-doubt and people-pleasing have taken hold. Angela explores: Why even loving relationships can become toxic when unresolved patterns take over The importance of grieving the relationship you hoped for—not just the one you had How to rebuild self-trust after doubt, confusion, and over-accommodation How to recognize red flags early and respond with clarity and self-respect What it means to raise your standards for love—especially when you're a parent Why healing includes developing the skills needed for dating after a toxic relationship with greater care and discernment If you're looking back on a painful relationship and thinking, I don't want to repeat this, this episode offers thoughtful relationship guidance for rebuilding confidence, clarifying what you want, and approaching future relationships with greater steadiness and self-respect. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone.   Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    16 min

  7. 07/29/2025

    He's a black-and-white thinker. I see the gray. How do we talk?

    How do you communicate in a relationship when you and your partner speak very different emotional "languages"? What happens when one partner prefers direct, black-and-white answers, while the other communicates with nuance, context, and emotional meaning? Differences in communication styles in relationships can create misunderstanding, frustration, and distance—especially when neither person feels truly heard. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to improve communication with her husband. She's trying to speak more directly—but finds that clarity feels risky when emotional nuance is part of how she understands herself and her relationships. Angela explores: Why communication styles differ in relationships—and how those differences develop The distinction between high-context and low-context communication How people-pleasing and fear of conflict can lead to indirect responses Why "just saying yes or no" can feel impossible for some people How to navigate differing communication preferences without losing your voice When a partner's disappointment is part of healthy relating—and when it crosses into pressure If you've ever felt stuck trying to communicate clearly without abandoning your emotional truth—or struggled to speak up because you fear conflict, disapproval, or misunderstanding—this episode offers thoughtful guidance for finding your voice while staying connected. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone.   Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    17 min

  8. 07/15/2025

    I want to be a better listener—but I can't stop interrupting my partner!

    How do you become a better listener when emotions are running high—and the urge to interrupt takes over? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to stop interrupting his spouse during tense conversations—but finds it difficult to stay present and quiet when strong emotions are activated. For many people, becoming a better listener in relationships isn't about trying harder or saying less—it's about learning how to stay regulated enough to truly hear what's being said, especially when conversations feel charged. Angela explores: Why interrupting often comes from caring deeply, not from disinterest How emotional discomfort fuels the urge to respond too quickly The role of the "inner translator" in distorting what your partner is actually saying Why internal dialogue can create a sense of criticism even when none is intended How reflective listening and intentional breathing support listening during conflict Why understanding doesn't require agreement—and how differing perspectives can deepen intimacy If you've ever found yourself talking over your partner, jumping into defense mode, or struggling to stay present when it matters most, this episode offers grounded, compassionate relationship guidance for building emotional capacity and listening with greater care and responsiveness. ✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com ✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don't have to figure it out alone.   Read more Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

    18 min
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About

What happens when what you learned about relationships doesn't help you create the kind of connection you long for—and you're left wondering: how do I do this differently? Ask Angela is a relationship advice column devoted to answering the questions that arise when you're navigating intimacy after trauma. Hosted by Angela Amias—therapist, writer, and founder of the Institute for Trauma-Informed Relationships—Ask Angela offers honest guidance with deep respect for where you've been. Each episode is based on a listener's letter—raw, true, and deeply human. Angela's advice weaves together the practical and the poetic, grounded in years of experience helping individuals and couples heal the patterns that keep them stuck. If you've ever felt like you're too much or not enough—or you just can't figure out why relationships feel so hard—this podcast is for you. Whether the question is about betrayal and trust, communication, emotional connection, or healing after heartbreak, Ask Angela is a space for learning how to untangle the past and build something new. Because love after trauma takes a different kind of wisdom—and you don't have to figure it out alone.

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