Five Rules for the Good Life Podcast

Darin Bresnitz

Five rules for the good life and other tips for living well as told by those who made it their business to do so. fiverules.substack.com

  1. 4d ago

    Noah Galuten

    Noah Galuten has spent years cooking alongside some of the best chefs, pit masters, and grill masters in America, so when it came time to write Grill Time, he wanted to share everything he had learned. He joined the show to share his Five Rules for Better Grilling, covering everything from why gas grills deserve more respect to the flavor advantages of cooking with wood and charcoal. We also get into the surprising power of mayonnaise, why chasing perfect grill marks can be overrated, and the one tool that will instantly make you a more confident cook. Whether you’re feeding a crowd or just trying to get dinner on the table, these are practical rules you’ll actually use. Summer has officially arrived. The days are longer, the drinks are colder, and every meal suddenly feels like a good excuse to be outside. There’s something about cooking over fire that changes the pace of the day. Neighbors linger a little longer, friends show up a little earlier, and dinner becomes the event instead of the thing that happens before it. If you’ve been looking for a reason to dust off the grill, invite some people over, and make the most of the season, this conversation is the inspiration you need to get started. Photo by Kristin Teig Jacaranda’s recent opening in Los Angeles has had the culinary community abuzz with Daniel Patterson’s return to fine dining. Opened and owned with his wife, Sarah Lewitinn, this thirty-seat, tasting menu has been years in the making. Read my latest profile for Fine Dining Lovers on them, their love story and their road to opening. Introduction Hello, and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I’m joined by Noah Galuten, whose new cookbook, Grill Time, Why You Should Be Grilling for Better, Healthier, Easier, and More Delicious Meals, is out now wherever books are sold, to share his five rules for better grilling. We talk about how there’s no shame in the gas grill game. With that being said, nothing tastes better than smoke in food and how one secret ingredient is the key to better grilling. Summertime is here and if you’re looking to get outside and to do some cooking, there is no better conversation for some inspiration and some rules to get your grill game going. So let’s get into the rules. Why Grilling Is Different Noah, it’s so good to see you. Congratulations. Your new book has been out for a little less than a week. Grill time. Thanks for stopping by and making time for the show. Thank you for having me, man. This first week has been so great. Summertime is here. It’s time for grilling. What do you love so much about this season and cooking this way? There’s so many things I love about grilling and the great thing about living in Los Angeles is you can grill 12 months out of the year. I know. I try to be nice to the people who don’t have the weather that we have. That’s true. Grilling is just the way that I actually find myself cooking for my family the most often. It is easier, cleaner, faster, often healthier than you would do it on the stove. There’s stuff that I would never do on a stove in a million years that I will do on a grill a hundred times out of a hundred. To cook a piece of chicken, to put on a salad, who’s pan searing? No one. It’s always grilled chicken at a restaurant. Throw it on a gas grill in the back, charcoal grill. You’ve got something instantly. A lot of people get intimidated by grilling. It’s usually due to one bad experience because they’ve only tried it a handful of times. How do people get back on the horse after having a grilling mistake? It’s like anything. The second time is going to be so much easier. The barrier to entry is basically having a grill. And once you have one, do it a couple times, get better at it. Writing Grill Time Once you find that inspiration of what to cook and how to cook it, it just makes you want to get outside even more. With so much of this type of cooking under your belt, how did you select the stories and recipes you wanted to share? When a band has their first album, they spend their entire life creating it and then your second album is two years later and you’re trying to come up with a whole lifetime of stuff. This was this lucky stroke of mine because my first cookbook was so much of my family cooking growing up, my mom’s food, the food that I make for my family at home. And then I have this whole other side of grilling that I’ve been doing forever and learning from amazing mentors like Kevin Bloodsoe for Bloodsoe’s Barbecue and with Ari Colander for Seafood Stuff, Jeremy Fox for Vegetables. I got to lean all that information into the way that I cook and grill at home. So it just spilled out of me. It came together so quickly. There was so much food that I cook all the time on the grill that I’ve never gotten to write about. Grilling cookbooks were just different from regular at-home cookbooks. Grilling is the type of cooking practice that you can always get better at. You can always refine your approach. Rule #1: There Is No Shame in the Gas Grill Game Now I’ve been around a lot of chefs who swear on nothing but aged pecan wood or cherry wood or some other sort of refined— Those people don’t cook for their kids on a weeknight is my theory on that. I love cooking with wood and charcoal. I have an entire outdoor cooking show on Tastemade called Barbecue Smokeout I make with Kevin and Bloodso. It is an amazing way to cook and I love it. But with that being said, a great part of my life is getting dinner on the table and being able to throw— The Gas Grill is an incredible— A Gas Grill, there is no shame on it. And there’s no reason that just because you can make something more delicious with Smoke or Charcoal that will take longer time that you shouldn’t just do the easier option when it’s easier. And having limited time on a weeknight or when you’re just trying to make a quick lunch, gas is great. Rule #2: Nothing Tastes Better Than Grilling Over Wood and Charcoal But when you do have the time, maybe it’s a weekend, maybe it’s a holiday, your rule number two talks about this type of grilling. Rule number two, nothing tastes better than grilling over wood and charcoal. So I kind of break this book down into two categories, Sure Weeknight Grilling and Weekend Project Grilling. Yes, I have cooked so many slow smoked pork ribs in the thousands over my career at Bloodso’s and I’m very good at it. I’ve had it a million times, but now my favorite rack of ribs in the world— I call it smoke grill. They do it in the book where essentially you take a classic grill. I love these PK grills. It’s a really old company that’s been doing it forever. You essentially push all the charcoal to one side of the grill, put wood chunks on top, almost like you’re doing a reverse sear like on a two inch thick ribeye. Instead of— You Get A Smoky Crispy Edged Rib That’s Done In Half The Time Of A Slow Smoke. You Can’t Fake The Flavor Of Smoke. Rule #3: Getting Char on One Side Is More Important Than Getting Char Everywhere Rule Number Three is getting char on one side is more important than getting char. So this comes out especially with things that are quicker cooking like a burger patty, asparagus, zucchini. If you try to get char all over the entire thing, especially if you’re on a gas grill that’s not super firepower, doesn’t have a ton of BTUs, get that char and that coffee. Rule #4: Mayonnaise Is the Secret to Better Grilling There is a chef trick that I was taught years ago about how to add some more moisture and flavor and to give yourself a little bit of grace when you’re cooking on the grill, which I’m so happy because it showed up as rule number four. Here are the haters. They know what’s coming. Guys, it’s mayonnaise. Yep. Mayonnaise is the secret to better grilling. And all you weirdo mayonnaise people out there, you guys are worse than cilantro people because theirs is a genetic condition. You guys just can’t stop talking about how you don’t like mayonnaise. It’s not about tasting mayonnaise. It’s not about eating mayonnaise. It’s about the chemical properties of a perfectly emulsified fat that you can use it for so many things on the grill. The big one to me, and I learned this from my buddy Ari Colander, who’s an incredible chef, painting the thinnest veil of mayonnaise on a piece of fish or a whole fish allows it to become virtually nonstick on the grill. It also allows you to get seasonings to adhere perfectly to it and it makes it brown better. I can cook perfect crispy skin salmon on the grill with just one flip, a little bit of mayonnaise, some salt and pepper and it’s amazing. Anything that you can do to add extra flavor and give yourself some breathing room on the grill is a rule well used. Rule #5: Use a Meat Thermometer Your fifth and final rule deals directly with understanding when to take your meat off the grill. What’s your rule number five? Use a meat thermometer. What are we talking about here, guys? It’s the easiest game changer. There’s this masculine thing of, no, I don’t need it, I know meat, I can touch the palm of my hand, no worries. You know the exact internal temp of a pre-marinated Trader Joe’s pork? And that’s fine. This is a sub-rule to this rule. Cooking it properly. Closing Noah, congratulations on everything. If they want to pick up a copy of Grill Time or come see you on your incredible book tour that has a lot of delicious food and great guests, where can they go to learn more? You can go to my website for all the tour dates. I have a 21-city tour with some of the best chefs and restaurants in the country. People like Chris Bianco, Frank Piniello, Ann Kim, Aaron Franklin, Kevin Blood. So it is a crazy, crazy, crazy lineup. I’m so blown away by the kindness of the people in our industry. Check that out on my website. Also, an

    10 min
  2. Matty Matheson

    May 25

    Matty Matheson

    Matty Matheson has spent the last decade carving out his own lane by doing what most people are too scared to do: making things before anyone gives them permission. On this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, Matty joins Darin to talk about creating Just a Dash, finding his on-camera voice before “content creator” was even a career path, and why the best ideas usually start with a couple of friends, a camera, and a willingness to see what happens. They discuss trusting your collaborators, investing in yourself before anyone else will, and how consistency matters more than virality. Matty shares his Five Rules for Making Your Own Show, including why you should only cook things you love or hate, why working with friends changes everything, and why originality still matters in a world built on algorithms and imitation. There’s something deeply inspiring about Matty’s journey because none of it feels manufactured. It feels earned. Watching someone continue to create for years, through rejection, uncertainty, changing platforms, and shifting industries, is a reminder that momentum is built through consistency, not shortcuts. The conversation is really about the value of showing up over and over again, trusting your instincts, and building with people you actually care about. There’s a specific kind of joy that comes from making things with friends, from laughing through the chaos, from figuring it out together in real time. Even when something fails, even when it gets messy, the act of creating is still better than standing still. Making something, anything, is how you find your voice. Photo by Sid Tangerine Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. It is always a good time when I get to sit down with today’s guest, Matty Matheson, whose new season of Just a Dash is out on Netflix right now, along with the fifth season of The Bear coming out on FX and Hulu on June 25th. He’s here today to share his five rules for making your own show. We chat about the importance of working with people you trust, that to get everyone to buy in with what you’re making, you need to... So let’s get into the rules. Getting Started in Video Matty, so good to see you. I love to hear the birds chirping and the sun streaming through in Canada. Thanks for making the time to sit down and chat with me. You’re very welcome. That’s our canary, Waffles, and Waffles is just having a beautiful day it seems. You are no stranger to TV. I’ve seen you cooking across different mediums for such a long time. Not every chef is drawn to that type of pursuit. What made you want to get involved in the first place? Well, great question. The first video I ever made was my cheeseburger video. We made that over 10 years ago now. My era, the beginning of that, when I was 26, 27, 28, if you were on TV, you were a massive star. There wasn’t any middle ground. There wasn’t any content. It wasn’t anything. Some producers at Vice hit me up to see if I wanted to do something. In Canada, we shot a cheeseburger video, and that’s what it was. It’s funny, I look back on that stuff. There’s no persona. There’s no yelling. There’s no anything. It’s just me being funny and talking in my regular voice. I was just drawn to it because they wanted to do something different. It wasn’t some big TV show. It wasn’t a competition show. It wasn’t some thing that was out there that was on some major network. That was what drew me to that, was just hanging out with people that I already hung out with, my friends that worked at Vice. It was still purer then. There was no anything. It wasn’t creating. We just made a cooking video, a how-to video. Finding an On-Camera Voice You had a chance to evolve before this new ecosystem of creators. What do you remember about learning that time and finding your on-camera persona before it became such a commodity to do content? I would do a video every two, three months. What a cadence compared to today. I did that and then I did my pancake video and then I did my get-you-laid lasagna video. It was just like a thing where we made it when we made it. I think I got paid 500 bucks a video at that time too, which was kind of nice. Seems about right. It was more money than I ever made in a two, three hour span of time. It was incredible to get that amount of money when I was that age. It was more money than I ever made. There was no references. Building Just a Dash We shot Just a Dash two years ago. It’s amazing. It took a long time to edit. Tort and his crew, we took a long time finding it. The way that we shoot Just a Dash is we shoot for 10 hours, 12 hours, and then we find everything in the edit. We’re always cooking one dish. There’s all these sub-stories and things and stuff. When we made the season, it wasn’t with Netflix. It wasn’t with anybody. It was still just self-funded with the Canadian Arts grant that we get. We wanted to make something that was a little bit... so this was us putting in a little bit more effort. We had six or seven more people on set. We had costume, we had set deck, a couple producers. I had a little relationship over with Netflix and they were kind of looking for something and I was kind of looking to see if they were down. It was a very easy thing. We showed it to them. They were very excited. It’s a no brainer. And it was funny. I even told them when we first started to meet, I was just like, I pitched you this show like six years ago. I guess they weren’t ready for it. Obviously because of The Bear I got a little more juice. Yeah, I got a little bit of Hollywood juice from that. We get to put something like Just a Dash out there and let that ripple out. I’m glad that you got that juice because the show is great and it’s allowed you to stay in this game for so long, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for making your own show. When I watch this season, there’s just such a levity, such a formed world with the people behind the camera and you in front of it. I just feel that you’re letting us into your home and into your life, which is a big part of your rule number one. Rule #1: Cook Something You Love or Hate Rule number one is cook something that you love or hate because then there’s no middle ground. So you need to have feelings. For the type of content that I make, either I love it or I’m trying to figure it out and I hate it. Then the plane starts crashing and then I have to land the plane every episode. That’s our snake eating its own tail thing that we’re always doing. We’re excited, we get smoked, and then we land the plane. Always cook something that you love or something that you don’t understand. By cooking something you don’t understand, by the end of it, you’ll probably understand it and enjoy it. Rule #2: Work With Friends Creating that space from a production point of view to allow you to cook something that might work or go off the rails is really determined by the people who you work with and the relationships you have, which makes up your rule number two. I love working with friends. Working with friends has given me an incredible life and has allowed us all to continuously work together. Having somebody like that that knows you and knows how to work you. On the first two seasons of Just a Dash we had no producers, no writers, no nothing. Whoever was there that day was there. It was just me, Camera B, Sound Guy, Tor, Michelle, myself. It is a thing of trusting your crew. Believing in your crew. Also having this thing where everyone is level. Everyone is a part of it. Everyone is adding to the cup. That’s the thing that’s the most important. Everyone is on the level. Everyone is a part of this. Everyone is equal. Everyone is doing their thing making this video. Maybe that’s just because I naturally want everyone to have fun and everyone to be hanging out. That’s why my videos just genuinely organically went to this. Oh yeah, what if we just turned the cameras around and it was just all my friends hanging out and we’re just making this video and I’m just the idiot in front of the camera, but the whole show is the 360 of five idiots hanging out about making a thing. Rule #3: Get Everyone Behind You Being able to lead a group of people, having the ability to take a stand and say, no, this is what we’re making, this is what you get, is a fundamental tenant of your rule number three. Rule number three is believing in yourself enough to get everyone behind you. Yeah, I’m always like just get me something to cook. Let’s not overthink it. Get me all the ingredients. If I don’t have all the ingredients that will make it better. But that comes with a lot of trust. You need that trust to be able to communicate how to cook at the same time as be funny, to be present or unpresent, but still keep the train rolling. The reason why I can be so funny or be so ridiculous at times is because the cooking, I’m not thinking about the cooking. I’m never really thinking about the cooking. You know it. I know how to make pasta. I know how to make a cream sauce. Cooking is very funny to me. As long as you understand the foundation, you can do multiple cuisines and multiple things and there’s only certain amount of things you can do. You can fry, you can roast, you can broil, you can boil, you can simmer. Also finding your path throughout the video is part of my journey where I’m like a lot of the times I have an idea what I’m cooking and then I’ll get a feeling or an excitement about something as I’m doing it. And then that can switch a lane really quickly for me. And then we just are going down that path. But for everyone else to be able to go down that path is that freedo

    14 min
  3. Mashama Bailey & Johno Morisano

    May 18

    Mashama Bailey & Johno Morisano

    There’s a certain type of person who dreams about opening a restaurant in Paris. Then there’s the type of person who actually does it. On this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with Mashama Bailey and Johno Morisano of The Grey and L’Arrêt to talk about what it really takes to open a restaurant in one of the most romanticized, bureaucratic, intimidating, and food-obsessed cities in the world. They share their Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. We get into neighborhood politics, learning enough French to survive a conversation, battling condemned hood systems, and why your lawyer might become the most important person in your phone. It’s a conversation about hospitality, identity, stubbornness, and understanding exactly who you are before trying to introduce yourself to Paris. What I love about this conversation is how open they are about all of it. There’s no mythology here. No pretending the process was glamorous. They talk honestly about the stress, the delays, the absurdity of getting yelled at over ventilation systems, and the emotional weight of trying to earn trust in a city that takes food very seriously. But there’s also so much laughter throughout the conversation. The kind that only comes from people who survived something difficult together and can now look back at the chaos with perspective. You can hear how much they love restaurants, how much they respect Paris, and how even in the hardest moments they never lost sight of why they wanted to do this in the first place. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, my guests join me from all corners of the world, Mashama Bailey and Johno Morisano, whose company, Gray Spaces, made its mark with The Grey in Savannah. Now, their new restaurant, L’Arrêt in Paris, has made a splash in the city. They join me today to chat about their Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. They talk about the importance of practicing your conversational French, how to integrate yourself into the neighborhood, and why you should always have a good lawyer on standby. Even if you aren’t planning on opening your own little bistro in Paris, it’s a great conversation for anyone looking to start their own restaurant and understand the mindset you need to succeed. So let’s get into the rules. Opening Thoughts Thank you for crossing continents to be with me today. So great to have you on the show. Happy to be here. Thanks for waking up at the crack of dawn to do it. I got two young kids. I was up hours before we chatted. When the opportunity came to open L’Arrêt in Paris, what were your thoughts about the culinary connection between Savannah and the through lines of both cities? I thought in the beginning, you know what? We’re going to France. Pack our bags. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s do what we’re gonna do. Really trying to figure out what food the neighborhood wanted to do. I think we got caught up in the idea of it all, at least I did, and not really hunkered down and realized, oh wait, we’ve been doing this for 12 years and we should absolutely bring some food from Savannah to France. Also not realizing how nuanced our food is in Savannah and how it doesn’t always read as Southern. When you’re in Savannah, it feels very Southern. It eats very Southern. But when you’re in France, they need the hits. They need the things that overtly reflect Southern cuisine so they can understand what you’re doing because it’s such a melting pot here. Southern food and Black American food is so entrenched in African ingredients that it almost reads African before it reads Southern. That’s how we started off. And now we’re really embracing the fact that we’re coming from Savannah, we’re coming from the South, and we’re cooking grits and using cornmeal, lima beans, all these really delicious Southern ingredients. We’re braising and we’re frying and we’re putting it on a plate. And I think they’re really like, “Oh, okay, I understand what this restaurant is now.” But I think before, showing up as The Grey, it was a little confusing because we weren’t overtly Southern. Becoming Part of the Neighborhood For anyone who’s spent time in Paris and gotten to know Parisians, it really is all about neighborhoods and local communities. How did you integrate yourself with the people there beyond the food, showing that you really wanted to be their neighborhood spot? The Seventh Arrondissement is a place where I have been going with my wife for 30 years. I love that. We actually found L’Arrêt because it was just a spot that I frequented called Les Parisiens. I knew the owner of that place and I know the guy who runs a little cafe around the corner, and I got to know some of the people in the neighborhood. So when we did buy L’Arrêt, we did a lot of outreach to the neighbors. Here we are, these folks from New York City and Savannah coming into a very, very old and independent neighborhood in Paris. We would set up at our friend’s cafe around the corner. We would invite the people who lived in the neighborhood, who worked in the neighborhood, and we talked to them about the plans for the restaurant. We did a lot of outreach to the building, the folks who lived in the building we’re in. We invited everybody to come hear the planning and we had to go in front of the co-op, the HOA. We were successful in some of it and we weren’t very successful at all with the building, in that they still wanted to put us through the ringer to get approvals. Which we ultimately got. It just took two years and a lot of lawyers and a lot of money. Integrating yourself into the neighborhood, serving the community, is so great. On the flip side, getting to know an area of Paris as intimately as you are, you find your own spots. What are some of the local institutions that you’ve made yourself a regular at as a way to show that you want to be a part of the neighborhood? Rosarito Heap on Boulevard Saint-Germain. I can walk in there and they’re like, “Oh, madame.” Also, there’s an Indian restaurant right around the corner from L’Arrêt. It’s called Ravi’s and they’re great there. It’s super small, quiet, only lit by candlelight. The food is really solid and it’s a great place to let your hair down and have a good meal. La Flores is my local cafe on Rue du Bac, but I’ll go to Les Ambassades. Le Fontenoir is the little cafe on Rue du Bac. I’ve known Alex, who owns that place, for 20 years. Lao Tzu, Chinese restaurant, New York City style. He would kill me if I said that because I told him once that Wo Hop is one of my favorite places. He’s like, “This is not Wo Hop.” It’s funny, we were sitting in La Flores one night having a drink. I don’t even know if we were open yet. The waiter brought us over two glasses of wine and we said, “Oh no, we just came for one.” And he said, “No, the people behind you want to buy you a glass of wine.” They were just restaurant owners. She owns a restaurant right up the street and he owns a restaurant over by Tour Montparnasse. They just recognized us and bought us a drink. I’m now super friendly with both of them. Restaurants are communal in all cities and there’s camaraderie. You just gotta make the rounds and say hi to everybody. When you become a regular at a restaurant, that’s the best thing about it. They cater to each individual and how they want to experience that space. So few people have been able to come from outside of France and open a spot that has regulars and feels like part of the city, which is why I’m so excited to talk to you about your Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. Rule #1: Practice Your French If you’ve never been, especially when you go to a city like Paris, the second you start attempting to speak the native language, they will switch to English for you immediately. But that doesn’t mean, look, if you’re there for a week that’s one thing. But if you’re setting up shop, it’s important to do as Parisians do, which is a big part of your Rule Number One: Practice your French. I have been trying to learn French since high school, so I think it just may not be in the cards for me. I will continue to try. I think I just have this huge intimidation factor when it comes to French. Being able to be cordial is the most important thing. You don’t have to speak it well. You just have to be able to say hello, introduce yourself, ask someone how they’re doing because that’s just table stakes in France. “Bonjour” is really like, hello, have a good day. Then it’s followed by “comment ça va?” And it could be a stranger on the street. You’re literally just saying, “Hello, how are you? I see you. How are you doing?” That’s the basis. Then everything else depends on how much they want to help you out. It depends on how fast they talk or how slow they’re willing to talk and bring you along. But they’re very interested in immersing you into their culture. Learning the language becomes easier. Rule #2: Have a Sense of Humor You have to have a sense of humor about it. For a lot of situations and in a lot of instances, it’s just not funny. But you have to be able to see the humanity in a situation. Culturally, everyone here is so different from Americans. So you do have to approach it with a sense of, I can’t take myself too seriously. The folks here, they work to live. They don’t live to work. That’s a sensibility that is nice to adapt, especially for people like Johno and myself where you kind of have to slow down a little bit, enjoy yourself a little bit, laugh at yourself a little bit in order to get through the things that are really tough, like not being able to o

    14 min
  4. Shaheen Ghazaly

    May 11

    Shaheen Ghazaly

    Shaheen Ghazali, the chef and owner of Kurrypinch, joins Five Rules for the Good Life to share his Five Rules for Getting to Know South Asian Cuisine. Born in Pakistan, raised in Sri Lanka, and shaped by years traveling the world as a marine cadet with his father, Shaheen approaches food through the lens of curiosity, evolution, and connection. This conversation goes far beyond the idea of “authenticity” and digs into how cuisines borrow, adapt, and grow over generations. From why spice doesn’t always mean heat to how curry is often misunderstood in the West, Shaheen breaks down the common language that exists across cultures and why understanding food means looking deeper than labels. What I love most about Shaheen’s approach is that he talks about food the way some people talk about music, art, or family history. There’s a calm confidence in the way he explains flavor, balance, and tradition without turning any of it into dogma. He understands that food is alive. It changes with migration, memory, trade, and circumstance. Sitting with him, you realize he’s less interested in defending a cuisine than inviting people into it. The best meals do that. They lower your guard, tell you a story, and make the unfamiliar feel personal. Shaheen cooks and speaks from that exact place. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today I’m joined by Shaheen Ghazaly, the chef and owner of Kurrypinch, a Sri Lankan restaurant here in Los Angeles. He shares his five rules for getting to know South Asian cuisine. It’s about the fundamental understanding that food and cuisine is always evolving, that spice doesn’t always mean spicy, and that balance is the key ingredient to any successful meal. It is an incredibly philosophical conversation about cooking and global cuisine, and how anyone out there who wants to know more about what they’re eating should dive a little deeper. So let’s get into the rules. Shaheen, so nice to meet you. Thank you for stepping away from the very busy Curry Pint to sit down and chat with me for the show. Thank you for having me. You were born in Pakistan, raised in Sri Lanka, and spent a large part of your early life traveling with your father. How did that shape your outlook on food? Since I was a kid, my mom is a Pakistani, my dad is a Sri Lankan. When my mom passed away, we moved to Sri Lanka. My dad was taken care of, and since he was traveling, he taught us how to take care of ourselves by having limited ingredients at home to make food. Breakfast, whatever it’s available. That made me be creative and come up with my own way of food. Since I was 10 years old, I fell in love with food, not only by looking at my aunt cook, I just fell in love with it. We were not raised like most Sri Lankans. They go with the spices like heat, but we grew up having flavored and not too much heat going on. That deep love of food, is that what brought you to the United States to open a restaurant? No, the cooking was a hobby. I always enjoyed it. After I finished my college and everything, I started traveling with my dad. He was a captain in a ship. I joined the ship with him as a Marine Cadet officer and then I traveled the world. When we were growing up, we were limited to certain things or knowledge. For example, fish cutlets, that’s a Sri Lankan dish. But when I started traveling, then I learned it’s just a term that we use when it comes to the technique, the method. The ingredients are all very, very similar. This made me dig deep into culture and food. When I said traveling, I have been to many countries. Whenever we touched down at a port, my first thing would be to go and try many different cuisines. Their traditional food. So I wanted to bring, because Sri Lankan food is not that popular in LA, I just wanted to introduce our cuisine in a term people would understand. At the end of the day, the ingredients and the technique remained true to our culture, our background, and things like that. Was there a moment when you realized that enough people in LA, or the people who kept coming back to the restaurant, really understood what you were cooking and learned about the Sri Lankan food and the South Asian food you were serving? Not all of them. Sure. I have had so many times, “Oh, this is not authentic.” I’m like, there’s no such thing as authentic. Sure. Because in Sri Lanka, there are many regions, many parts, many cultures. We may use the same spices in a different manner. For instance, we have a dish called Jaffna prawn curry. The reason we call it Jaffna, it’s a part of Sri Lanka, and they are more influenced by South Indian food. Most of the food that we have or currently use is influenced by South Indian food. We try our level best with all the new guests who come to our restaurant to give them a brief background about certain food because the terms of curry or curry, they’re scared because I don’t know what they have in their mind, but when you mention curry they just go bongas. Being such a lifelong devotee to food and admirer of cuisine culture, and having restaurants of your own, I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for getting to know South Asian cuisine. 1) Know that food is always evolving. There’s been a large movement in the United States specifically about third culture cuisine. When people call food authentic, they’re usually talking about just one point of a cuisine’s long story. People have traded spices, ingredients, and cooking ideas across the continent. When people visit our restaurants, especially South Asians, they might say this is not authentic Sri Lankan or Indian food, but every culture, city, and region has its own. Having these recipes evolve means that certain words that people might be afraid of, those definitions change as well. 2) Spice doesn’t always mean spicy. And one of the key elements, the heat of a dish and how that’s evolved, makes up your rule number two. Spices are used for aroma, depth, and balance, not just for the heat. My way of cooking, or what I have learned... Agreeing on these terms or agreeing on these... 3) Not every curry is a sauce. The approach to what goes into a dish or what even makes up a dish is something that you need to find a common language on, especially when you’re running a restaurant and explaining how that might differ in what you’re serving. Not everyone is going to align with what you say, especially as you strike out to define your own take on the cuisine, which is a fundamental of your rule number three. All the curries, they aren’t sauces. The word curry describes many, many different dishes. Some curries are rich and saucy, while others are dry, stir-fried, or just lightly spiced. Curry is really a blend of spices shaped by each culture. 4) Cuisines often share the same ideas. Once you get into these cuisines, as you saw in your travel across the world, a lot of the time what makes up a dish from culture to culture has more in common than differences, which makes up your rule number four. During my travel, people in different cultures often cook with the same idea using the local ingredient. For example, biryanis, spice, cheese, and a dish like jambalaya is similar. Flatbread, like roti, is similar to tortilla. The similarities show that food brings culture together more than it separates them. One ingredient used in a different form. At the end of the day, it’s just one word. The idea, the concept, everything is the same, and the way of making is maybe a little bit different. If you use those ingredients and spices and everything, the end result would be pretty much the same flavorful. 5) Balance is what makes a meal. That end result can be generalized by people who don’t understand a specific cuisine, but your fifth and final rule talks about this idea of bringing harmony to any dish to fit the right situation. What’s your rule number five? The balance is... A great dish relies on a few key elements working together in balance. I would say flavor balance, texture, aroma, freshness and ingredients, techniques, harmony, the story behind the dish. All these come together. People do get scared of it. I would say, don’t be. You try many things in your life. Just try different cuisine. The one thing that we follow at Curry Pinch is that we cook our meal as we cook for our loved ones. I love that. We don’t provide unhealthy food or give it to our family members. That’s the same concept I have when it comes to our guests. Good for you, good for your health. Thank you so much for sharing your Five Rules. If people want to come by Curry Pinch or see some of the food you’re cooking, where can they go? Walk-ins are always welcome. They can visit our website at www.kurrypinch.com. They can reserve through Resy. We would recommend doing a reservation. There are times we are fully booked. And yeah, for everyone listening, that’s Curry with a K. Shaheen, thank you so much. Congrats on everything and looking forward to swinging in very soon for a bite. Thank you very much. You’re always welcome. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe

    9 min
  5. May 4

    Julianne Fraser

    This week on Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with Julianne Fraser, founder and CEO of Dialogue New York, to talk about what it actually takes to protect your creativity in a world that’s trying to flatten it. We get into the tension between algorithms and originality, why setting boundaries with social media isn’t optional anymore, and how carving out real time for yourself can unlock better ideas than any scroll ever will. Julianne shares her Five Rules for Cultivating Creativity, from building guardrails around your digital life to creating space for “creative mornings” to trusting your own taste instead of chasing trends. It’s a conversation about getting back to yourself, doing the work offline, and making sure your ideas still feel like yours. What I appreciate most about this conversation is how practical it is. There’s no fantasy version of creativity here. It’s about being intentional with your time, attention, and input. It’s about knowing when to step away, when to go outside, when to talk to people, and when to sit alone with a notebook to actually think. That balance is hard to find, especially when everything online is designed to pull you back in, but it’s the difference between reacting to the world and shaping your own point of view. Once you start to feel that shift, even in small ways, it changes how you show up in your work and in your life. My latest profile for Fine Dining Lovers is on Chef Brad Alan Mathews, the chef and co-owner of Bar Le Cotê in Los Olivos, CA. He shares his lifelong love of food and music, and his journey to sobriety. Thank you to Paul Feinstein for his guidance and support with this piece. For anyone in the industry struggling with substances or looking for options for a different approach to a work/life balance, Ben’s Friends is a good place to start. INTRODUCTION Hello, and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I sit down with Julianne Fraser, the founder and CEO of Dialogue New York, a digital media agency. She shares her Five Rules for Cultivating Creativity. She talks about the irony of her process in setting social media guardrails, carving out time in anyone’s busy schedule for creative mornings, and that by following feelings and not trends will lead you to your best ideas. It’s a great conversation for anyone who’s looking to add more creativity into their life and to ground themselves with daily practices of making space to allow for new ideas. So let’s get into the rules. OPENING CONVERSATION Julianne, it is so nice to meet you. So great to see someone coming all the way to Brooklyn. I miss my hometown. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Excited to chat. I’m a child of the 80s and 90s. I still remember the DIY punk era of the hard line between creativity and brands. Today’s generation seems not to care about that. Why has creativity come to be such a commodity? Why do you think that shift happened? I think it’s been a slow erosion of creativity over time. I’ve been in my career for 15 years in the digital space. Little by little, the way that social media has grown and the power of the algorithm has just kind of shrunk original creativity over time. This year, in the last five years with AI, it’s compounding a really frightening degree. It’s just the nature of technology and innovation. What’s interesting is as we’re seeing it shrivel away in many facets of social media, I think people are really championing it. Such desire to get back to nostalgic, old ways of analog. I’m hoping for like a renaissance. I’m hopeful that people will go back to kind of old-fashioned ways of sparking their creativity. IAN SCHRAGER & HOSPITALITY INSPIRATION Looking backwards at people who might be inspirations for that spark, you worked with Ian Schrager, someone who turned the idea of going to a hotel into a story and experience. What did you take away from your time with him? That was my most inspiring brand I’ve ever worked with in my career. What he did with the hospitality industry in the 80s, first with Morgan’s Hotel Group, really just kind of revolutionized the notion of a lobby as a space of socialization and inspiration. Not only did he flip the way that people interacted with hotels, every single minute detail of his hotels brought to life this spirit. He has these guardian angels in the hallways at Hudson Hotel that look over his guests, or every single pen on every single property was black. Just like really old school rules of brand identity that led to these experiences that you cannot replicate, and so many hotel brands try. From a marketer, I joined really early on in my career. It was just unbelievable gold to work with, to be able to leverage all of that storytelling. BUILDING DIALOGUE Storytelling and learning how to work with brands and to present them to people led you to being the founder of Dialogue, your digital brand marketing consulting agency. What unique offering did you want to bring to the marketplace that you weren’t seeing or that you felt there was a space to make a new name for yourself? When I started my company, I had this core belief of what it takes to build community and a network of creative people. The word influencer can have so many different facets. The way we approach it can be a viral TikTok sensation, but also someone who has 10,000. What I found really interesting is that our strategy and our approach has never shifted from day one. I think that’s the fundamentals of building relationships and human connection at scale, but never impacting the real human connection with these partners and also the creative campaigns that we’re concepting. What I find most exciting this year specifically of what I’m working on with Dialogue is just how to strike that balance between being able to touch with more brands while still doing the most authentic, real relationship building, really creative narrative driving, and never sacrificing that. Preaching to the choir. I absolutely love it. And I love that approach. The fact that you’re offering a take that both understands that we are dealing with the absolute shift in the way that we are creating, but also staying true to the core tenant, which is storytelling, which is why I’m so excited for you to be sharing your five rules for cultivating creativity. RULE #1: ESTABLISH SOCIAL MEDIA GUARDRAILS And in a world where we are in this post slop never ending stream of content, it’s easy for your brain to just go absolutely on the fritz while you doom scroll. Your first rule talks about the importance of setting up some boundaries when you go hunting for inspiration across different social channels. What’s your rule number one? It’s not lost to me the irony that I own a digital marketing agency and my first rule is establish social media guardrails. I love it. I bring this to my team. I believe in this wholeheartedly. Social media is beautiful and inspiring and incredible. And I even think from my personal creative, when I’m really into interior design or cooking, I’m finding the most incredible artisans in Rotterdam to build custom shelves that I never would have discovered if not through Pinterest or Instagram or whatnot. There are these really beautiful platforms to find inspiration, but if you’re not conscious in how you’re engaging with them, it just completely numbs your brains. I have two young daughters. When I get home, I put my phone in this container. I have to be so physical to put it behind two physical doors. I’m so intentional because if that doesn’t happen, these devices are designed for addictions. At night, I’m putting my phone on airplane mode at nine o’clock. I’m plugging it in outside of my bedroom so I’m not shifting to that. I’ve found over the years I have to be really strict. So creating whatever those guardrails are that best suit you, that’s rule number one in my mind. Once you create those guardrails and you get off your phone, you’ll start to realize that you have an extra 15, 30, 40 minutes of the day that you thought you were so busy that you cut things out like leaving your desk or, as someone like me, leaving your home. RULE #2: FOSTER YOUR “WEAK TIES” Your second rule talks about the importance of reestablishing those routines that get you out into the world. What’s your rule number two? As convenience has, and you know this as a New Yorker, you literally can get anything at any time in the city. Uber Eats, you no longer are going to pick up your Indian takeout down the street. We’re skipping past the cashier at Whole Foods and we’re going straight to the checkout computers. We’re texting friends instead of calling and speaking to them. And so I think the more and more and more convenience is prioritized, we’re cutting out this notion of weak ties. Weak ties aren’t friends. They’re not coworkers. They’re not even acquaintances. They’re just people that you’ll bump into in a day, like the barista at your cafe or like the front desk at your gym, whatever it might be. And it’s really the fabric of a lot of our creativity and inspiration and speaking to people. And I really try to slow down and chit chat with the woman who drops off our mail. She’s wonderful, and it’s those little mini interactions that are really getting us outside of our bubble and off our phones and sparking things that we might not think of or know. RULE #3: CREATE SPACE WITH CREATIVE MORNINGS Setting up your day for success is such an important part of really getting things done. Creating the space to actually create is a core tenet of rule number three. I’ve instilled what I call creative mornings for my team of 10. I love it. We’ve done this for five, six years. And I really, really believe in the power of it, not only for my team’s creative output, but from all of our personal satisfaction. It’s a

    13 min
  6. Peter Barrett

    Apr 27

    Peter Barrett

    In this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, I head to the Hudson Valley to hang out with food writer, photographer, gardener, forager, and fermenter Peter Barrett. He shares his Five Rules for Nurturing a Real Cooking Practice. We talk about why growing even one herb on a windowsill can change the way you think about food, why practice matters more than perfection, how to stop hiding behind cookbooks, and why taking a food Sabbath can make the rest of your week easier. It’s a conversation about cooking with intention, but also about building a life that feels more connected, more grounded, and a little less performative. The best cooking habits are the ones that fit your actual life, not the fantasy version of it. Not everyone is going to mill flour, tend a massive garden, or spend Sunday making twelve jars of pickles, and that’s fine. Sometimes the win is roasting one chicken, growing basil in a pot, or learning three meals you can make without thinking. The point is not to turn your kitchen into a stage set for Instagram, it’s to create a rhythm that supports you. Cooking should lower the temperature of your life, not raise it. It should make your week easier, your table fuller, and your relationship to food more personal. The goal is not perfection. It’s finding a way of feeding yourself that feels sustainable, satisfying, and yours. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I head up to the Hudson Valley to sit down with food writer, photographer, gardener, forager, and fermenter, Peter Barrett, who’s here to share his 5 Rules for Nurturing a Real Cooking Practice. He talks about how growing just one thing can change your perspective on life, that there is no excuse for giving up on yourself in the kitchen without loads of practice, and that being gentle on yourself when it comes to cooking is a real recipe for success. This is a great interview for anyone who’s looking to get started in the kitchen or for anyone who’s hit a lull and looking to find some new inspiration. So let’s get into the rules. Peter’s Journey Peter, so good to see you. I can’t believe it’s already been a few months. Thanks for making time for the show. That’s my pleasure. Thanks for having me. You’ve spent decades growing and foraging and preserving, cooking as much of your own food as possible. What drives you to do this? I was in the artwork. I moved up to the Hudson Valley from Brooklyn 20 years ago now. I put in a garden. It was one of the first things I did. My grandfather had taught me to make pickles when I was a little kid because he was from Poland. And when he grew up, that was a survival strategy. That had nothing to do with hipsters or yuppies or anything. It was staying alive through a long, hard winter. I just got more and more into the growing and the cooking and the fermenting. And I started to learn about mushrooms and other wild edible things. I started writing a blog just as a sort of journal to keep track of my kitchen exploits. And then over the course of the ensuing years, I just did more and more of that. I got one magazine gig, then another magazine gig. I’m working on a book with Dominique Crenn right now. We’re supposed to go to France next month. So it just sort of morphed. As the art tapered off, the food thing sort of rose to meet it. Cooking Across Countries You’ve cooked a lot in America, in the Hudson Valley, and you’ve been able to travel to Italy and go into France with Dominique Crenn. Country to country, do you find a difference in this type of approach of growing and preserving and really understanding the food that you eat? It’s simplistic, but I think places that have winter have different fermentation cultures than places that don’t. You can’t f**k around with the absence of food when the ground is frozen, of course. If you think about Korea and Northern Europe, Eastern Europe, the pickle game is strong, and the pickle game is strong because they had to. There’s what they call sottoglio in Italian, which is where they preserve things under oil, or sottaccetto, which is in jars of vinegar. You wander around in most parts of Italy, south of Alto Adige, and everyone has a garden that’s more or less year-round. It’s a different approach to preservation. It’s less mandatory and baked into the cuisine, if that makes any sense. Why Sharing Matters One of the things I’ve loved about your writing and your storytelling is that you really want to share this knowledge with people across the world and people who want to get into this type of practice themselves. Why is that so important to you to share this knowledge and to teach people that they can get started, even if it seems daunting at first? Honestly, because I’m sitting here right now talking to you on the basis of my self-guided passion. I am driven to learn about food because I love it, because it fascinates me, whether it’s wild food, domestic food, different processes, transforming it with microbes or other preservation methods. My kitchen has now taken the place of my studio. It feels the way my studio used to when I was a painter. It’s just incredibly exciting to me. It’s fun. Food intersects with every other area of human endeavor. What’s your specialty? What’s your aptitude? What’s your passion? Food intersects with it. And so there’s always a way to reach people by relating via food. And I, because I’m a self-taught home cook, I can meet people where they are because I don’t speak. I mean, I speak tweezer, but I do not use tweezer, if you know what I’m saying. Rule One: Grow Something That democratic approach, that self-starting nature of learning to cook, the fact that you didn’t go to culinary school is so common among so many people who love food today, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for nurturing a real cooking practice. It’s easy to look at Instagram and see these gorgeous gardens and these well manicured plots, and it can be daunting to even get started. And your first rule talks about the idea of just making something happen with your own hands. What’s your rule number one? Rule number one is grow something. I have a ridiculously big garden. But if you go to the very far other end of the spectrum, you have a sunny windowsill. Grow a pot of chives, grow one thing. Parsley doesn’t need a whole lot of light. If you’ve got a little more space, grow a few pots, even just herbs. If you have a fire escape, you could even upgrade to a little pot of hot peppers or cherry tomatoes, which do well in containers. Nurturing another living thing, even if you don’t have kids, even if you don’t have pets, nurturing a living thing is good for you. I use my lawn the same way. I don’t spray anything because it’s insanity to spray poison on your lawn. Dandelions are one of my favorite examples of wild food that everybody understands, everybody recognizes it, and they’re really f*****g good to eat and good for you. A lot of what I come to share about food is that all these win-win scenarios involving simplicity, frugality, ancient technologies for preservation that also add nutritional value, and they connect you to your food. Connecting you to your food is a way to further your own human connection. So if you can start from nothing to something, grow one more thing than you currently are growing. Rule Two: Practice Getting started is definitely a big first step. Growing the one thing, making bread once, trying out your pickle recipe once is a great way to get involved with your own kitchen and your own life and live with more intent. The problem is that if you fail once or even twice or even five times, there is that desire to give up. Your rule number two talks about the importance about keeping at it. Practice. There’s a reason why doctors and lawyers and yogis, it’s the word practice to describe what they do. Definitionally, it means there’s no destination. It’s only journey. It’s a really important perspective to have when you come to cooking. You can learn a lot in your 70, 80 years as a home cook. There’s a lot to be said for the kind of discipline that puts you in the kitchen every day that you can physically get in there. And there are lots of ways you can make really good food for yourself. Making a commitment to honor yourself and the people whose health and wellbeing you’re at least partially responsible for by showing up in your own kitchen and doing what it takes to supply your kitchen with the ingredients that you need to make healthy, wholesome food. Rule Three: Ween Yourself off Cookbooks The idea of creating this safe space in your kitchen is a really good practice. And my kitchen’s full of cookbooks, which I love to go to and to read and gather for inspiration. Same. But at some point I go, all right, I got to get my nose out of this. I got to cook. I got to make these recipes work for me, which is a big part of your rule number three. Wean yourself off of cookbooks. I think of cookbooks as somewhere between training wheels and sheet music. There’s a lot of knowledge that is assumed in your average cookbook. I think that as a home cook, finding ways to give yourself that knowledge by first and foremost, giving yourself the permission to fail is really the only way to do it. And that goes back to the practice thing, right? If you show up every day, yeah, baking bread is not always easy. When I teach baking, I tell people, if you can commit to baking 10 times in the next two months, you are then forgiven for giving up on it. But you gotta do it 10 times in the next two months. Try to get it into your muscles. Try to get it into your life. Understand the rhythms, in my case, usuall

    10 min
  7. Harry Posner & Natalie Dial

    Apr 20

    Harry Posner & Natalie Dial

    This week on Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with Harry Posner and Natalie Dial of Tomat, a restaurant that doesn’t just talk about seasonality, it lives it. We get into what it actually takes to grow your own ingredients while running a restaurant, from the early mistakes to the unexpected wins. They break down their Five Rules for Having Your Own Restaurant Garden, including why experimentation matters more than perfection, how to think realistically about what you can grow, and what it means to truly close the loop on waste. It’s practical, a little obsessive, and exactly the kind of conversation that makes you rethink where your food comes from. There’s something deeply grounding about growing even a small piece of what you eat. It shifts your understanding of time, effort, and value in a way no delivery app ever will. You don’t need a full backyard or a restaurant budget to start. A simple planter box with herbs on a windowsill or balcony is enough. Basil, thyme, parsley, things you actually use. You water it, you cut from it, you watch it come back. That loop, small as it is, changes how you cook and how you think about food. It makes dinner feel earned in the best way. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello, and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I sit down with Harry Posner and Natalie Dial, the chef and CEO, respectively, of LA’s Tomat. Located in the Westchester part of the city, Tomat has the distinct pleasure of being here on the LA Times 101 Best Restaurant List and was named one of Esquire’s Best New Restaurants in America. They share their five rules for having your own restaurant garden and talk about the importance of experimenting with the produce you plant, understanding the ratio to reality of what you can grow and consume in the restaurant, and give you the perfect timing to plan for each growing and eating season. It’s a fantastic conversation for anyone who’s fantasized about having their own garden, either at a restaurant or at home, and the desire to grow what you eat. So let’s get into the rules. Meeting the Guests Harry, Natalie, it is so nice to meet you. Thank you for making the time before your impending bundle of joy comes to join us in the world. We’re so glad to be here. Thanks for having us. Thank you very much. The Origin of Tomat It’s easy to say that most chefs or restaurateurs, especially in California, are driven by farm fresh ingredients from the market. You literally named your restaurant with a nod to one of California’s most famous pieces of produce. Why go all in on this concept. It wasn’t even really inspired by the piece of produce itself, other than Harry and I both have that nickname, had it growing up serendipitously, independently of each other, because we turned red in the sun and looked like tomats or tomatoes. However, the official, the initial line before we were like, actually, the fun reason is a way better explanation, was that we are going to grow our own stuff. We’re in California. We’re using as much local farmer’s market produce as possible. And our logo is a slice of tomato with a stem, the seeds. And we’re trying to show you we’re growing, we’re getting the best stuff. That’s why we’re Tamar. Why Grow Your Own Ingredients The dedication to the bit is something that we are very big on here at Five Rules. You guys are also very dedicated to growing your own produce, vegetables. Why is it so important to you to go that early and deep into the process of the ingredients you bring into the restaurant. We work with some of the most amazing farmers, and there are some absolutely amazing people here that really work alongside us, especially when curating a menu. My upbringing, being born in LA, then moving to England, my parents wanted to grow all of their own vegetables. I remember as a kid, we would go around and pick all the loquats and we had a loquat tree where we used to live. And it’s just so much fun. Now that we’ve got kids, you want to indoctrinate them in growing to show you what produce you have and how good it can be. The Value of Growing Even One Thing Restaurateurs these days are faced with so many challenges. Some might not even be able to make it to the farmer’s market while they’re spinning all these different plates in the air. The idea of starting and making your own garden can seem even more daunting than just running a regular restaurant. Why do you think it’s important to grow at least one thing so it can supply at least one thing to a restaurant. It shows you how much effort goes into producing that one thing. I love that. In the grand scheme of things, we have a tiny little plot. You think, okay, how can I get the most benefit. If I have a three feet by three feet plot, okay, I’ll just have things that grow upwards. I’m not going to plant one carrot, but maybe if I plant a bushel of parsley or thyme, that’ll be more than I’ll ever need. So you just think how much effort goes into it and why the prices of certain things are so much at the farmer’s market, and why being in California, we have access to some of the best produce in the world. Rule #1: Experimentation I love how dedicated you are to this practice of growing your own ingredients, but then also encouraging others to do the same, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for having your own restaurant garden. You touched on it a little bit earlier. Having access to LA’s farmer’s markets will give you access to some of the best strawberries, oranges, kale, apples that you may not feel you need to grow because at best you might just match their quality, which frees you up for your rule number one. Our rule number one is experiment experimentation. We wanted to have a little plot that, yes, we’ll have some things that are maybe more staples, like the herbs that we can always continue to pick year round, but we have varieties of citrus, pomegranate, berries that even our favorite berry guy at the farmer’s market is like, oh, I’ve never had that and never grown that. And now I’m being like, oh, well, we grew it here. You can grow it there. Do you want to grow it for us. And he’s like, yeah, let’s do it. And that is actually our Logan berries. That’s incredible. When we moved from London, what blew my mind about the farmer’s markets there is that you could get way hotter chilies than you ever can here, which feels kind of ironic. And then they have this green called a spring green, which is this bizarre mix of a cabbage and a kale that I have never found anywhere near a green as good here. I’ve been obsessed with it since. We have seeds. And one of our farmers is growing it for us. Incredible produce. Rule #2: Grow in Feasible Quantities Once you get a year or two of growing your own produce and actually having the doors open to your restaurant, you’ll have an idea of what people are eating, what they’re drawn to, but then also how much you need to grow so that you are balancing it out with the space you have and what you want to plant and what people are actually going to eat, which is a component of your rule number two. Rule number two, grow in feasible quantities. The garden itself has been in the works, shall we say, for the last five years. Essentially, since we moved out here, there was one year the restaurant was stuck in plan check. We were testing a few different things. We put in a whole row of cucumbers. Sure, we may have grown around 400 pounds of cucumbers that year. That’s a lot of pickles. A lot of pickles and a lot of bribery to neighbors, to friends. I don’t think there are enough people who eat cucumbers in our neighborhood. We can grow a good amount of stuff like herbs. We can use a ton of herbs. Being able to just like, oh, we’re out of herbs. Let’s run to the garden. And pomegranate, we have one pomegranate tree. We get five pomegranates from it this year. It’s still in development. You just need to be aware that certain things can go crazy. If I’m producing 1000 pounds of kale, am I going to eat 1000 pounds of kale. Maybe. Rule #3: Close the Loop That idea of not wanting to waste anything at a restaurant, especially when you’re growing, it does weigh heavily on a lot of conversations these days about creating a system that can support itself, which plays a role in your rule number three. Rule number three is, if you have a garden, use it to try to close the loop on your own waste in whatever house or restaurant you’re in. That was an ethos that we had from the beginning, before we opened, before we even started the concept of the garden or of Tamat. We wanted everything to be as sustainable as possible. And of course that starts with food practices within your kitchen. So of course, all of our food scraps are composted. We have coffee in the morning. All of our grounds go right into the garden. We even compost our menus. We need all sorts of different types of composting materials. You have a lot of things that get wet as they start to break down, and then you need a bit of dry. Our menus, we print them every day because things change so much. It also helps us think about, can we reuse these vegetable or fruit scraps for something else. And oftentimes they go right into our cocktail program for infusions. We’ve also noticed that our black trash bin doesn’t smell nearly as bad when we’re separating things out, so it feels like we’re doing it right. Rule #4: Get Involved in Urban Planning Doing it right and planning the design of your garden is a lot of times where people get really intimidated. Your fourth rule talks about why it is important to get involved with that process. What’s your rule number four. Our rule number four is get inv

    12 min
  8. Ella Quittner

    Apr 13

    Ella Quittner

    This week on Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with journalist, screenwriter, and author Ella Quittner, whose new book, Obsessed with the Best, digs into what it means to care deeply about what you make. We get into her Five Rules for Telling a Good Story, from finding your angle to chasing the emotional gut punch, and why approaching every subject with humanity is non-negotiable. Ella breaks down how she moves between journalism, fiction, and food writing without losing her voice, and shares the practical ways she builds stories from scratch, even when the idea isn’t fully there yet. It’s a conversation about process, discipline, and the reality of making something worth reading. I love this episode because it cuts through the romantic version of writing and gets into the actual work. Ella is deep in it, doing the reps, figuring it out in real time, and she’s generous enough to explain how it actually happens. There’s no posturing here, just three rats in a trench coat sharing clear, usable insights for anyone who wants to write and not just talk about writing. If you’re trying to find your voice, or even understand what that means, this is the kind of conversation that gives you a way in and makes the whole thing feel possible. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello, and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I sit down with journalist, screenwriter, and author Ella Quittner, whose new book, Obsessed with the Best, is out now on HarperCollins wherever books are sold. She shares her five rules for telling a good story. She talks about the importance of approaching each story with humanity to narrow in on the gut punch of every narrative and that when you find your own voice in your own words, that’s when you’ll find real success in your writing. It is a great conversation for anyone looking to share stories they love, to elevate the words they write, and for anyone who’s thinking about writing something for the first time. So let’s get into the rules. Meeting Ella Quittner Ella, it is pretty crazy that this isn’t the first time we’re meeting because I feel like we have all of the same colleagues and friends in the food scene. I agree and I feel mad at them for not introducing us. I’ve been reading a lot of your work for years. What I’ve always found is that storytelling is such an essential part of what you do and what you write about. Early Storytelling Do you remember the first story outside of your own life that you wanted to tell? When I was a child, my sister and I used to make comic books, my older sister Zoe and I. She would illustrate Mm-hmm. really uproariously funny. Love it. That was the first story I wanted to tell, which is just being a young child, feeling humiliation, but also delight at my grandma ordering a knish at a deli. The Emotional Duality of Writing So much of personal writing can be humiliating and exalting. empowering and lonely. There really is this duality in that act of creativity, especially when it comes down to just you and either a computer or a pen and a piece of paper. How do you balance those juxtaposed emotions and stay motivated? The emotions of wanting to quit and give up and feeling like a failure and self-doubt, but then also that egotistical, maybe I keep going or that thing where you have this inflated sense of the importance of what you’re doing. All those you mean? Your words, not mine, but yes. the older i’ve gotten and the more i’ve written professionally across different fields and genres whether it’s journalism screenwriting fiction food writing cookbooks etc the more i’ve been able to learn to separate my expectations from the outcomes and not seek external validation but just try to create work that i’m proud of that goes a really long way toward letting you feel less tortured in the process because i remember being in my 20s being like oh my god i wish i was Helen Rosner i wish i was David today i’m sorry i wish i I wish I was all these people and I’m just some f*****g idiot in the East Village trying to write 400 words. Once you embrace, why am I doing this? No one’s making me do it. It doesn’t pay well. I don’t have to be doing it. So there must be something that I think I’m uniquely bringing to it. and try and separate yourself from the outcome of anyone reading it. Is anyone going to care? I mean, you do want to add something to the conversation, but I think separating yourself from how it’s received and caring about what the reception is going to be goes a long way. Finding that pride and ownership of what do I want to say helps because then of course you can only say it the way you know how. You can’t say it like George Saunders or Helen Ross or David Stairs. You could only say it like Darren. Or Ella. Or Ella. Writing and the Creative Process Being able to separate yourself from the process and the creativity and the creation is probably the most healthy attitude to have in going to releasing your debut cookbook, Obsessed with the Best. I loved it. I thought it was an excellent balance between recipes and essays and anecdotes. How did you land on the right mix to make it what you truly wanted to say? That was a tricky balance because I’m a verbose person and there’s no limit to how deep I’ll go on a topic or how many tangents or reporting whims I’ll follow. And I will find a story in every single one of them. That’s just who I am. Of course. Despite all best efforts. I have a very producorial brain. So knowing I have to do all this stuff. So how can I fit in the stuff I want to do, but still turn in the other stuff as well that is more time consuming or labor intensive, that’s less flashy work. Being able to produce, being able to be your own boss and editor is such a key part to hitting any deadlines and to really getting the pieces you want out in the world and figuring out what you want to say, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for telling a good story. Rule #1: Call Your Sister Many of us who’ve written, especially in the food world, find themselves wanting to tell the same story that other journalists or people want to tell. Your first rule talks about the key importance of making any story your own. What’s your rule number one? Rule number one is call your sister. Go on. This is sort of a cheeky, euphemistic way of saying it. What is your angle? You have to identify that. This applies not just to journalism, where if you’re pitching an editor, you do have to pitch a very, very specific story. It should be an idea that you’re especially well suited to it. explore it should be built into that angle but also applies to a book a novel a television show a feature script a proposal for a cookbook it’s not enough to say i just want to explore this topic it’s an interesting topic you need a lens. So i think about it like i’m going to call my sister and tell them a story i wouldn’t call my sister to tell her a funny story that happened at work last week and just start that conversation going hey zoe hey clementine funny story or you know work work’s a topic we should talk about right. I would drop them into a specific scene with my specific perspective and a specific mood. And I would tell that story so that every piece of it is calibrated to set up to the punchline. I don’t think this is advice that only applies to funny stories. If I was going to call someone and tell them an emotional story, I’m going to calibrate it similarly just using different levers. So I call it call your sister because if I’m stuck on an idea and I don’t know what the angle on my topic is, I think, okay, I’m going to call my sister. How would I tell her? I think having that angle, especially when your sister or sibling is like, I got 30 seconds for you, for you to keep my attention. Literally. Is really important. That being said, when you do hit a certain level of career or you have a good relationship with an editor, you can pitch a little bit more topic when there’s trust that you’re going to dig into a person or a theme to find out the story that you want to tell. Rule #2: Collect a Giant Pile of Details Which ties directly into your rule number two. That’s true. And I will go into two, but I also think it’s worth saying you don’t want to have a preconceived conclusion when you pitch an editor. You want to have a lens and a POV and some ideas about why this might be the case. Yes. But you do want to be really open to gathering, especially in the nonfiction space, gathering a bunch of information and exploring what conclusion that leads you to. Which does lead to rule number two. If you simply can’t identify your angle, collect a giant pile of details. If I’m having trouble figuring out the in and out of a scene or what a pilot should look like or how to structure journalism piece or what that core thesis leading into it that I want to test and report out is I will make tons of notes for myself. Like I will scribble in a journal or an iPhone note. I will interview 15 people. The whole purpose of this reporting and brainstorming and I’ll read another book. I’ll read another article. I’ll go on Wikipedia. I’ll watch a TV show. I’ll watch a movie. It’s just trying to figure out what is jumping out as interesting and important. And then in a secondary sense, what is supporting what is interesting and what is important. It’s also pattern identification. If you don’t know exactly what the story is, is sometimes talking to a bunch of people and realizing, okay, they’re all consumers of these new meal replacement products that look like Soylent, but kind of yassified for millennials. And they’re all telling me that the reason they’re buying them

    12 min

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Five rules for the good life and other tips for living well as told by those who made it their business to do so. fiverules.substack.com

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