What if the reason self-care feels so difficult isn't because you're not trying hard enough, but because you're trying to do everything alone? We've been taught to think of self-care as something deeply personal. A quiet room, a meditation session, a fitness routine, or a few precious moments away from everyone else. But what if meaningful, sustainable wellbeing also depends on the people around us? In this episode of The Healing Mindset, guest host Sana welcomes Dr. Maria Van Der Maaten, a sociologist, community development practitioner, and author of Even Monks Meditate Together, for a thoughtful conversation about community-driven wellness, social connection, and why self-care doesn't have to be an individual responsibility. Maria shares her personal experience of trying to build healthier habits while raising two young children, managing professional responsibilities, and navigating prolonged sleep deprivation. Despite her commitment to a holistic wellness certification program, she found herself questioning her dedication when the promised results didn't appear. That experience led her to reconsider a fundamental assumption about modern wellbeing: Why do we expect individuals to solve challenges that are deeply influenced by social and environmental conditions? Together, Maria and Sana explore how community can make healthy habits easier to maintain, why accountability and belonging matter, and how everyday activities such as walking with a neighbor or meeting friends at a park can support multiple dimensions of wellbeing. They also discuss the importance of personal boundaries, the difference between supportive communities and overwhelming social obligations, and why having connections beyond work and family can help people feel less isolated. Maria introduces the sociological concepts of bonding and bridging social capital, explaining how different relationships and community groups can create additional sources of connection, support, and reciprocity. This episode isn't about giving up solitude or making every part of your healing journey public. It's about recognizing that self-care can be both personal and shared, and that sometimes the most sustainable way to care for ourselves is to create space for one another. About the Guest: Dr. Maria Van Der Maaten:Dr. Maria Van Der Maaten is a sociologist, community development practitioner, and author whose work focuses on community-driven wellness and collective empowerment. Her book, Even Monks Meditate Together, challenges the idea that self-care must be practiced in isolation. Drawing from her background in sociology, teaching, community development, and personal experience, Maria explores how social environments, relationships, and shared activities influence our ability to develop sustainable wellness practices. Her work encourages people to move away from guilt-driven wellness expectations and toward practical habits supported by meaningful human connection. Key Takeaways:Self-care doesn't have to be a solitary responsibility. Shared activities can make wellness practices more accessible and sustainable.Community can reduce the pressure of perfectionism. Maria challenges the idea that struggling with healthy habits automatically reflects a lack of commitment.One activity can support several healthy habits. Walking with friends combines movement, time outdoors, and social connection.Consistency becomes easier with shared accountability. Knowing someone is expecting you can make it easier to maintain a routine.Solitude and community can coexist. Some practices are better experienced privately, while others benefit from shared participation.Different communities serve different purposes. Book clubs, hiking groups, neighborhood connections, and volunteer groups can provide different forms of belonging.Support networks extend beyond family and work. Broader social connections may help distribute emotional and practical support.Reciprocity is an important part of wellbeing. Community is not only about receiving help, but also having opportunities to support others. Seven Healthy Lifestyle Habits DiscussedMaria identifies seven habits from her wellness training that can be supported through intentional daily activities. Habit Everyday example Nutrient richness Sharing nourishing snacks during a park meetup Frequent movement Walking with a neighbor Sound sleep Protecting time for adequate rest Inner stillness Practicing meditation or yoga privately Deep connection Spending meaningful time with friends Time in nature Walking, hiking, or meeting outdoors Sense of purpose Participating in activities that feel meaningful Connect With Dr. Maria Van Der MaatenWebsite: MariaVDM.com Social media: Maria mentions LinkedIn and Instagram under her full name. Book: Even Monks Meditate Together Chapters:Introduction: Rethinking Self-Care Meet Dr. Maria Van Der Maaten The Story Behind Even Monks Meditate Together Motherhood, Sleep Deprivation, and Wellness Pressure Why Individual Responsibility Isn't the Whole Story The Seven Healthy Lifestyle Habits How Community Makes Healthy Habits Easier Balancing Solitude, Privacy, and Connection Why Modern Life Leaves Us Socially Isolated Bonding, Bridging, and Social Capital Building Supportive Communities Beyond Work and Family Final Reflections and Connecting With Maria 🎙️ Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? Send me a direct message on PodMatch. 👉 DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik 🌱 About Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Global Mental Wellness Podcast Network - focused, credible, no more identity clutter. 👉 Subscribe and be part of this healing journey. Refer a GuestKnow someone who would be a great fit for one of our podcast shows? Email us at services@podhealth.club with the subject line “Refer a Guest.” Requests without this subject line cannot be catered to. Support Our Podcast: Support this Podcast 📬 Contact & Links Brand: Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Contact Us Based in: India & USA 🎧 All Podcast Shows 🤝 Be a Guest 📩 Newsletter Substack 👉 Join the LinkedIn Community 📌 Disclaimer - This episode is produced for educational and informational purposes only. All views expressed by the guest are their personal opinions alone and do not represent the views of the host or Healthy Mind by Avik™. The Network does not verify, endorse, or assume responsibility for any guest statements. Nothing in this episode constitutes medical, legal, financial, or professional advice, please consult a qualified professional before making any decisions. Listeners are encouraged to engage critically and independently with all content do not consume blindly. 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