G.I.A. Guild of Inept Adventurers

G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
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A fan-made actual play TTRPG podcast from a chaotic group of friends who’ve been gaming together since 2021. We play Dungeons and Dragons, Middle Earth, Pirate Borg, One Ring, Deadlands, Delta Green, Call of Cthulhu, and more—badly. Rules come second, fun comes first. Expect dice rolls, dumb choices, and a lot of laughs. This is our escape, and hopefully yours too. We’re not affiliated with any RPG publishers, everything we do is rooted in love and respect for the brilliant creators who build these worlds. We’re just grateful tourists passing through.. Swearing, nonsense, and critical failures ahead. Welcome to the Guild of Inept Adventurers!

  1. 1d ago

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep32 “Dream Warriors”

    Still trapped within the strange dream of Haycombe, the party rush from the tavern to discover the town celebrating the return of its missing alderman. But the celebration quickly turns to horror when they realise something is horribly wrong. The alderman’s guards are shambling, lifeless things, and before long they turn on the crowd. The party fight their way through the chaos, but they’re hopelessly outnumbered. Eventually overwhelmed, they awaken as prisoners among hundreds of captives, surrounded by Easterling guards. Lady Irime appears to them in a vision, battling a shadowy entity of her own. “I’m struggling in my fight. Stay strong and keep fighting.” The captives are marched south, across the Old Ford and into the hands of the orcs, who drive them towards the looming tower of Dol Guldur. Deep beneath the fortress, the party are thrown into a dungeon alongside the innkeeper and minstrel from Haycombe. Arminas and Haldir finally convince The Lonely that they are trapped inside a dream. He decides to test their theory in the most The Lonely way possible. He tries to fly. It doesn’t work. When servants of the master offer the prisoners a chance to live by swearing allegiance, the party refuse. Haldir responds with spit. The Lonely responds with violence. But the master of Dol Guldur has other plans for their troublesome prisoner. The next day, The Lonely is dragged away with a sack over his head and thrown into an arena. An axe is placed at his feet. The portcullis rises. A hill troll charges towards him.

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep32 “Dream Warriors”

  2. 4d ago

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep31 “Lord of the Wings”

    With the party surrounded by orcs and Lady Irime’s fate hanging in the balance, salvation comes from above as the Eagles swoop in to rescue them. Though not without cost, as one of the Eagles takes an arrow to the leg while carrying The Lonely to safety. The party are flown to an inaccessible ledge high in the Misty Mountains, where they finally have a chance to rest. The following morning they meet the Lord of the Eagles, who gives them a warning to take back to Radagast: a mysterious fort is being constructed in the Gladden Fields, and whatever is happening there is clearly cause for concern. Carried across the lands, the party eventually arrive at Haycombe. That night, Lady Irime sings beneath the stars, and the entire party falls into a strange, shared dream. Haycombe is no longer the ruined settlement they know. It is a thriving city, full of people, activity and unfamiliar heraldry. But something is wrong. The party explore this strange version of Haycombe, eventually finding themselves at The Falling Goat, where they learn that the town’s alderman has disappeared after travelling to Dol Guldur. And then Arminas receives a vision from Lady Irime. Whatever they do here may somehow help her fight.

    Adventures in Middle Earth: Ep31 “Lord of the Wings”

  3. Oct 21

    Vaesen: “The Winner Takes It All” (ONE SHOT)

    Welcome to Vaesen, a brand-new game for the Guild of Inept Adventurers! Set in 19th-century Scandinavia, this Swedish folk horror adventure follows three strangers brought together by a shared dream, a mysterious gift known as the Second Sight, and what can only be described as some truly questionable accents. Meeting at an inn in Uppsala, Otto Nystrom, Torun Matses and Selma Nilsdotter are approached by Linnea Elfklint, whose fiancé was brutally murdered inside Castle Gyllencruetz. Several other investigators have since ventured inside, never to return. Naturally, our intrepid trio agree to investigate. Arriving at the castle, they discover strange green lights drifting through its corridors, mysterious voices, supernatural fog and a terrifying presence known as the Shining Fiend. But not everything is quite as it seems. There's a frightened child with a cudgel, a dead man clutching a key, a dozen spectral lights and an awful lot of holy water being thrown around. As the investigation unfolds, the party discover an occult temple hidden beneath the castle, where a peculiar little gentleman in a top hat is brewing something rather sinister. With the castle's deed stolen and the creature determined to stop them, the investigators must race to return it to its rightful owner before they're lured into a watery grave. Can they defeat the Shining Fiend, save the day and claim a castle of their own? And just who is the mysterious butler who turns up at the end? All this, plus dodgy Swedish accents and enough ABBA references to make you say Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

    Vaesen: “The Winner Takes It All” (ONE SHOT)

  4. Oct 18

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 3 (ONE SHOT)

    The Mortimer family’s secrets are finally beginning to unravel, and the trio find themselves increasingly convinced that something deeply sinister is happening at the vicarage. As dinner approaches, Nancy, Melissa and Blake search the house and discover disturbed linen, a hidden staircase and a chamber pot that raises rather more questions than it answers. Dinner proves even more suspicious. Blake attempts to avoid the meat by accidentally depositing the entire stew on the floor, only to discover a fingernail lurking amongst it. Then Eleanor attempts to drug Nancy’s wine. With the Squire unconscious and the evening taking a decidedly sinister turn, the trio are invited upstairs. Blake discreetly prepares for the worst by concealing a shotgun in his trousers, because apparently this is what passes for respectable Regency behaviour. Things quickly descend into chaos. Flintlock pistols are drawn, Beamish gets his throat cut, Blake is shot, Melissa is pistol-whipped and Nancy accidentally shoots her own maid. Then something monstrous emerges from the attic. Charlotte. Or what remains of her. The Reverend’s beloved late wife has returned as a terrifying ghoul, and she has a particular interest in who has been eating meat. As the trio desperately flee the burning vicarage, Charlotte tears Henry apart before turning her attention back towards them. They escape into the night, leaving the house ablaze behind them. But as the flames consume the attic, the creature screams a single word: Azathoth. And with that, the trio flee back towards London, hopefully with their lives, sanity and careers in society intact.

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 3 (ONE SHOT)

  5. Oct 16

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 2 (ONE SHOT)

    The trio have a plan. Nancy wants answers about the terrifying vision that changed her life, Melissa is determined to stand by her side, and Blake is increasingly concerned that his new residence may be less stately home and more murderous death trap. Then, during the night, Henry Mortimer wakes the household with screams, crying out to his dead wife Charlotte and demanding to know why she continues to haunt him. And Melissa sees something in the graveyard. A figure standing in the moonlight. Then it’s gone. As the day begins, the trio investigate the Mortimers’ home and discover some curious clues. A receipt for a coach journey to Portsmouth. Notes concerning herbology. And plans for a dinner that evening with Dr Beamish and Charlotte’s uncle, Squire Goodman. Naturally, Nancy needs a new gown. Because if you’re going to investigate a potentially supernatural conspiracy, you might as well look fabulous doing it. But their investigation soon takes a much darker turn. At the village church, something is horribly wrong. The hymns have been changed to songs celebrating Easter and resurrection, despite it being nowhere near Easter. And beneath the church, the trio discover something far worse. Bodies. Dismembered bodies. Outside Charlotte’s grave, they find another disturbing clue — cloven hoof prints in the earth. Whatever is happening around the Mortimers, it is becoming increasingly difficult to explain away. The Reverend has secrets. His dead wife may not be staying dead. And Nancy’s terrifying vision might be closer to reality than she ever imagined. The trio have finally uncovered the truth. Unfortunately, it’s really bloody weird.

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 2 (ONE SHOT)

  6. Oct 14

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 1 (ONE SHOT)

    It’s been a long time coming. Regency Cthulhu was one of the very first games we ever played together as a group, and it didn’t take long for us to fall completely in love with the wonderfully ridiculous combination of Regency manners, scandalous behaviour and cosmic horror. Years later, we’re finally returning to it. Nancy has spent the last few months confined to Bedlam following a terrifying encounter with something she still struggles to understand. But she has returned a changed woman. No longer content with her former life, Nancy is determined to become a respectable lady and find herself a wealthy and influential husband. Enter Reverend Henry Mortimer and his sister Eleanor. Their offer seems almost too good to refuse: Nancy can become the first student at Henry’s new finishing school, where they intend to transform her into a proper lady. But there’s a catch. A letter from the late Lord Farquhar reveals that Nancy has inherited a house at 50 Barclay Square. A generous gift, perhaps — if Blake Thompson hadn’t spent eight generations serving the Farquhar family only to discover that he’d been left absolutely bloody nothing. And the house itself has a reputation. As Nancy, Melissa and Blake settle into their new surroundings, strange details begin to emerge. Nancy secretly investigates the Mortimers. Blake overhears suspicious conversations. And whispers of natural philosophy, herbalism, secrets and mysterious deaths begin to make their presence felt. Then they travel to Hampshire to visit the Mortimers’ vicarage, where Nancy begins hearing voices again. Perhaps Bedlam didn’t cure her after all. As the trio start pulling at the threads surrounding the Mortimers, Nancy reveals the truth about the terrifying vision that changed her life — a vision of something monstrous that she has never been able to explain. And now she intends to find answers. If becoming a respectable lady means marrying her way into the circles of power and influence, then so be it. After all… What could possibly go wrong?

    Regency Cthulhu: “Bedlam & Breakfast” Part 1 (ONE SHOT)

  7. Oct 11

    D&D 5e: Sniff Around, Ep12 “Window Of Opportunity”

    The G.I.A.’s investigation of Archive Room 9 finally starts to bear fruit, as they uncover a series of suspicious tax payouts for goods that mysteriously disappeared en route — including some rather substantial payments to something called the Directorate of Civic Prosperity. With shipments of building materials vanishing under increasingly dubious circumstances, it seems Gallowmere’s Trade Office may be hiding something rather more substantial than a few dodgy accounts. Unfortunately, the guards arrive before the party can investigate further. Rather than fight their way out, the G.I.A. agree to be taken directly to Magistrate Vell. After all, what better opportunity to confront the man at the centre of their investigation? Their meeting with the bloated, self-serving magistrate quickly becomes heated, but it soon becomes apparent that Vell himself is little more than a puppet for forces far more powerful than he is. Then something outside his office sends the supposedly fearless magistrate into a complete panic. Blud’s patience finally snaps, and Vell’s usefulness comes to an abrupt end. Unfortunately, whatever Vell was afraid of is already at the door. With Archive Room 9 ablaze, the G.I.A. find themselves battling mercenaries, guards, a heavily armoured brute and a spellcaster. Darvin discovers that a large table makes an excellent improvised weapon, sending one unfortunate guard flying out of a second-storey window before using the same table to clobber an armoured giant. Gerhart goes down, Blud brings him back, and the previously defeated guard returns for a second helping of window. This time, he doesn’t survive the landing. With the building burning around them, the G.I.A. make their escape in suitably heroic fashion — Darvin breaking his fall with the unfortunate guard below, followed by Gerhart leaping into Darvin’s arms and declaring, in true romantic fashion, “No More Taxes!” But Gallowmere isn’t celebrating. Once again, the G.I.A. have disrupted the town’s fragile status quo, and the locals fear that retaliation won’t be far behind. And as curfew falls over Gallowmere, a lone hooded figure slips silently across the rooftops… Who is he? And what does he want? Only one way to find out.

    D&D 5e: Sniff Around, Ep12 “Window Of Opportunity”

  8. Oct 7

    D&D 5e: Sniff Around, Ep11 “Dope On A Rope”

    With Gallowmere finally beginning to prosper, the Trade Office responds with more taxes, more red tape and increasingly desperate attempts to crush the party’s influence. Determined to uncover what Magistrate Edrin Vell is really up to, the G.I.A. hatch a cunning plan: infiltrate the Trade Office disguised as sandwich sellers. After violently acquiring the necessary bread, the party charm their way into meeting junior clerk Audrin Vale, who cryptically directs them towards Archive Room 9 after hours. Naturally, interpreting her clues proves somewhat difficult when only one member of the party can actually read. Their attempt to break into the Trade Office via the roof goes about as well as expected, with Gerhart and Blud making it safely inside before Darvin tests the structural integrity of their rope — and the bush beneath him. Eventually reunited, the party sneak their way to Archive Room 9, only to encounter an unfortunate employee who isn’t entirely convinced by their explanation. Now surrounded by filing cabinets and armed with sandwiches, rope and very limited literacy, the G.I.A. begin their search for evidence against Magistrate Vell. What could possibly go wrong?

    D&D 5e: Sniff Around, Ep11 “Dope On A Rope”
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About

A fan-made actual play TTRPG podcast from a chaotic group of friends who’ve been gaming together since 2021. We play Dungeons and Dragons, Middle Earth, Pirate Borg, One Ring, Deadlands, Delta Green, Call of Cthulhu, and more—badly. Rules come second, fun comes first. Expect dice rolls, dumb choices, and a lot of laughs. This is our escape, and hopefully yours too. We’re not affiliated with any RPG publishers, everything we do is rooted in love and respect for the brilliant creators who build these worlds. We’re just grateful tourists passing through.. Swearing, nonsense, and critical failures ahead. Welcome to the Guild of Inept Adventurers!

Information

  • Creator
    G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    117
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © G.I.A. - Guild of Inept Adventurers
  • Show Website
    G.I.A. Guild of Inept Adventurers