The KidsMinistry.Blog Podcast

KidsMinistry.Blog

Hello ๐Ÿ‘‹, we share ideas, tips, and resources to help your Children's Ministry thrive!

  1. When Bible Stories Teach the Wrong Lesson

    2H AGO

    When Bible Stories Teach the Wrong Lesson

    Tried teaching honesty last week using Ananias and Sapphira. They lied about money. Fell over dead. Kids terrified. Will I die if I lie? Probably not. But maybe don't lie. Great job me. Now they think lying causes instant death. Jacob age seven asks if lying about eating cookies will kill him. No. This was special situation. What makes it special? Holy Spirit was there? Holy Spirit is always there though right? Yes but different kind of there. Making no sense. Kids staring. Emma asks if her mom knows about this story. Maybe shouldn't tell her mom. Yeah maybe don't mention death part to parents. Moving on. Let's try different honesty story. Jacob lied to Isaac pretending be Esau. Got blessing. Kids so lying worked? Well got blessing but then had run away hide for years. Jacob says his dad told him lying always wrong no exceptions. Your dad right. Stick with that. But Bible Jacob lied and became Israel and that's good right? This lesson falling apart. Abandon ship. Jesus fed five thousand. Little boy shared lunch. Kids if I share my lunch does Jesus make more? Not exactly. Then why share? I like my lunch. Emma says she shared cookies once and kid threw them away. Sharing felt bad. That does sound bad. Jacob says maybe cookies weren't good cookies. Emma says they were great cookies. Oreos. Who throws away Oreos? Valid question. Now everyone arguing about whether Oreos good cookies. Lost the thread completely. We were talking about sharing. Passed out goldfish crackers. Nobody shared them. Irony not lost on me. Taught Good Samaritan. Help people who need help. Simple lesson clear message. Next week Marcus tells me got in trouble for helping. What happened? Saw kid fall on playground. Tried help him up. Kid yelled leave me alone. Teacher thought they were fighting. Got sent to principal. So helping gets you in trouble? Marcus asks. Not always. Sometimes. Depends. This is confusing. Yeah. Life is confusing sometimes. Marcus not satisfied with that answer. Me neither honestly. Jesus said forgive seventy times seven. Kids immediately doing math. That's four hundred ninety. Emma says if someone mean four hundred ninety times maybe just stop being friends. Cannot argue with that logic. Jacob asks if you have to actually count. No. It's about forgiving lots without keeping track. But you just made us do math. Don't do the math. It's metaphor. What's metaphor? Not getting into that today. David fought Goliath. Was brave. Trusted God. Kids loved it. Going to be brave too. Next week Marcus got in trouble for fighting bigger kid at recess. Why Marcus why. Wanted be brave like David. David didn't start fight. Giant was threatening everyone. Kid was being mean to Emma. I was protecting her. That's actually kind of sweet but also no fighting. Thought you said David fought giant? David fought actual giant threatening whole army. Different situation. How is it different? One is war situation. One is playground. Different rules. Rules are confusing. Yes. They are. Had to email parents explaining David and Goliath not instruction manual for playground conflicts. Parents thought it was funny. I did not. For teachers discovering Bible heroes terrible role models sometimes, leaders learning kids take wrong lessons from good stories, anyone explaining why David can fight giants but Marcus can't fight on playground.

    6 min
  2. Teaching Kids About Biblical Cultures

    3D AGO

    Teaching Kids About Biblical Cultures

    Kids think everyone in Bible wore bathrobes and had beards. Also think they all lived same place same time doing same things. Tried teaching Biblical cultures last month. Total disaster mostly. Told kids Moses grew up Egypt not Israel. Blank stares. What's the difference? Egypt had pyramids. And pharaohs. That's about all they knew. Showed pictures Egyptian stuff. Fancy headdresses gold hieroglyphics. Kids way more interested mummies. Can we talk about mummies? No cannot talk mummies. Focusing on Moses. But Moses saw mummies right? Probably? Don't actually know. Maybe. Egypt had lots mummies. Lesson completely derailed into mummy discussion. Kids now think Moses lived with mummies. Close enough guess. Bible people ate fish bread grapes. Kids that's boring food. Also ate dates figs lentils. What's lentil? Small bean thing. Why didn't they eat pizza? Pizza didn't exist yet. Mind blown. World without pizza unimaginable apparently. Made unleavened bread in class. Flat cardboard crackers. Kids hated it. This is what they ate for Passover? When you're escaping slavery no time for bread rise. Kid said his mom's bread takes three hours bread machine. How Moses's mom make bread so fast? Good question. No idea actually. Another kid asked about birthday cake. Did Bible people have birthdays? Probably but not like ours. No Chuck E Cheese ancient Israel. Kids devastated by this. Showed picture flat roof house. Where's triangle roof? Don't have triangle roofs. Flat roofs. People lived on roofs. Slept up there ate meals up there. Why? Cooler than inside. Kid asked about wifi on roof. No wifi. No electricity. No phones. Where they charge tablets? Nowhere. No tablets. Kids processing world without technology. Not going well. Wait what did they do for fun? Talked to each other probably. Played outside. That sounds boring. Maybe but that's what they had. Showed map Paul's journeys. All those lines everywhere. Looks like road trip. Actually took years. Years? To go that far? No cars no planes. Had to walk or ride donkey or take boat. Kids horrified. What if you had to pee? You just went. Different times. What if got bored? Too bad. Were bored. Did they have snacks? What kind snacks did Paul eat? Don't actually know Paul's snack preferences. Kids decided Paul probably ate beef jerky. Not accurate but let it go. Kid asked if donkeys had seatbelts. They did not. Starting think this lesson was mistake. Told them Jesus spoke Aramaic not English. What? Bible is translated. Someone turned Aramaic into English. Why didn't Jesus just speak English begin with? English didn't exist yet. Kids struggling with this. How did English start then? That's different lesson. Maybe never. Kid asked if Jesus knew Spanish. Her abuela speaks Spanish. Probably not Spanish but knew multiple languages. Kids more impressed Jesus was bilingual than anything else. Had explain slavery in Bible different from American slavery. But also not good. Slavery never good. Kids know about slavery from school. Why is slavery in Bible? Bible tells what happened. Doesn't mean God liked it. Why didn't God just stop slavery? Welcome to seven year old theology. Not qualified for this. Sweating through this conversation. This topic too hard. Should've skipped it. For teachers discovering cultural context way harder explain than thought, leaders learning kids ask impossible questions, anyone trying teach ancient world to kids who think pizza always existed.

    6 min
  3. Why Sitting Still Ruins Kidsโ€™ Worship

    6D AGO

    Why Sitting Still Ruins Kidsโ€™ Worship

    Kids won't sing. Just won't. Standing there with eight dollar garage sale ukulele and eighteen kids staring like I asked them do brain surgery. Kid picking dried glue off fingers. Another one counting ceiling tiles yells "forty-two!" right middle of Jesus Loves Me. Voice cracks on word Bible which shouldn't even be hard but here we are. This is worship apparently. Made kids sit criss-cross three years. Hands in laps no wiggling cause that's what thought church was supposed look like. Said sit down seven thousand times every Sunday. Everyone miserable including me. Got flu. Showed up anyway cause can't say no. Too sick care about rules anymore. "Stand sit lay on floor whatever just stop asking me." Total chaos. Boy rolling across floor like actual log during Awesome God. But singing. First time in weeks actually singing. Turns out bodies gotta move. Who knew. Everyone except me apparently. Taught whole hymn to second graders last year. All verses cause I love hymns. Kid asked if we talking about Disney villain. Another one why we trembling if not supposed tremble. I mean fair. Was teaching songs I liked never asked if seven year olds got any of it. Just pretty sounds to them. Asked what worship means got "being quiet when want talk" "not moving" "pretending like boring songs" "thing before snack time." One says it's when adults make you do boring stuff tell you it's for God. Ate entire family size bag chips when got home. Whole thing. Forgot plan worship Saturday night. Watching Netflix at eleven remembered oh crap supposed lead worship tomorrow. Asked Emma pick songs morning. Jesus Loves Me good. Awesome God good. Happy Birthday wait what. Nobody's birthday Emma. "Close to Mia's birthday wanna thank God for my best friend." Okay can't argue. Sang Happy Birthday. Mia crying I'm crying half class crying. Made zero sense. Also totally worship. Bought rhythm instruments Amazon 2 AM thirty eight bucks bucket of noise makers. 2 AM online shopping genius every time. First Sunday just noise. Pure chaos couldn't hear anything. Youth pastor sticks head in "everything okay in here" cause apparently sounded like emergency happening. Almost trashed them all. But quiet kids who never sing? Shaking maracas grinning huge. Had really bad week. Really bad. Sunday comes singing God's faithfulness start crying front of everyone. Tried hide it couldn't. Six year old comes over holds my hand rest of song. Doesn't say anything just holds hand. That's worship too turns out. Been trying create worship experiences for kids. Should been making space where they could actually worship. Totally different thing. One's me doing stuff they watching. Other's me getting out way they participating. For teachers stuck making kids sit still discovering movement's not enemy of worship it's part of it, leaders learning control kills connection, anyone ready stop performing start creating actual space for real messy beautiful worship.

    6 min
  4. Stop Reading and Start Performing Bible stories

    FEB 11

    Stop Reading and Start Performing Bible stories

    Told David Goliath last week. Read straight from Bible. Kids stared at ceiling. One fell asleep on floor. Next week told same story. Used voices. Did actions. Made sound effects. Kids leaning forward entire time. Same story. Just told it different. Changed everything. Goliath gets deep voice. Really deep. David sounds young nervous then brave. King Saul old and worried. Kids laugh at silly voices. Don't care. They're listening. That's what matters. Kid told me my Pharaoh voice sounded like his grumpy uncle. Fine. At least remembered Pharaoh existed. Moses parts Red Sea? Whoooosh. Water everywhere. Walls Jericho fall? CRASH BOOM. Thunder on mountain? Rumble rumble CRACK. Just use your mouth. Don't need speakers or equipment. Kids think it's cool anyway. Made donkey sounds during Palm Sunday once. Kids couldn't stop laughing. Still remember that story months later cause of stupid donkey noises. Tell kids "march around like you're at Jericho." They march. "Pretend you're fishing." They cast imaginary lines. "Be wind in storm." They whoosh around. Had all kids walk between chairs pretending cross Red Sea. Made water sounds while they walked. So into it. Wanted do it three more times. One kid asked if could be fish in Red Sea instead. Sure kid. Be fish. Whatever keeps you engaged. Five loaves two fish? Hold up goldfish crackers and bread. David's stone? Show rock. Joseph's coat? Wear colorful jacket. Used broom handle as shepherd staff once. Kids didn't care wasn't real ancient staff. Thought was cool. Don't say "David was brave." Act it out. Show small kid facing huge giant. Show him not running away. Don't say "disciples scared." Make scared face. Crouch down. Shake. Kids get emotions when see them. Not when just hear about them. "David picked up stone... put it in sling... swung it around and around... let it fly..." Stop between parts. Let them wait. Build tension. Kids lean in during pauses. Even ones who know story already. Paused too long once. Kid yelled "TELL US ALREADY." Okay maybe five seconds long enough. After story ask what means for their lives. Not just what happened back then. David faced giant. What giants do they face? Bullies? Fear? Hard situations? Kid said his Goliath is mean neighbor. Asked what his slingshot could be. Said being kind even when neighbor's mean. That's exactly right. If you're bored they're bored. Simple as that. But if you're excited? If you care? They feel it. They care too. Volunteer read story once like reading phone book. Monotone. Boring. Kids fell asleep. Literally. First time told story messed up order of events. That's fine. Got better. Practice at home. Try voices. Figure out pauses. Plan sound effects. Don't memorize script. Just know what happens. Then tell it natural. For teachers learning reading straight from Bible puts kids to sleep, storytellers discovering silly voices beat monotone every time, anyone ready to make ancient stories feel alive instead of boring history lesson.

    7 min
  5. Ministry to the Impossible Preteen

    FEB 9

    Ministry to the Impossible Preteen

    Kid asked last week why Moses didn't just use GPS and I'm standing there like what do I even say to that. Nothing. Had nothing. Preteens think I'm stupid. Probably right half the time honestly. Talk for maybe fifteen seconds max before eyes glaze over. Thought was my fault til watched them do same thing to their own mom so apparently just how they are. Started asking random stuff instead trying explain things. "What David thinking when saw Goliath?" Then stand there awkward silence forever til someone finally talks. Kid goes "why's he so huge" and yeah that's probably accurate. Girl sobbing last week cause friend read text didn't answer for three hours. Everything's total disaster to them. Teaching Moses felt different asked who feels like outsider. Every hand shoots up cause they all think they're only weird person when literally everyone same. Made mistake trying chairs once. Kid bouncing so hard end of class whole row shaking like there's earthquake happening under him. Just let them do whatever now. Sit stand pace lay on floor don't care long as they not destroying stuff. David Goliath story kid playing Goliath got excited ran full speed into wall. Everyone loses it but remembered story so whatever works. They control nothing. Parents teachers everyone bossing them plus bodies doing weird stuff they didn't sign up for. Ask tiny thing like "circle or groups" act like gave them keys to kingdom finally. Can't let them decide real stuff obviously but little choices help somehow. Gave up on phone fight. Too tired. Let them look things up use apps whatever stops the battle. Made TikToks about parables worked harder than anything I ever assigned. Don't get it not questioning it. YouTube's basically where history starts for them. Gotta connect Bible to whatever's happening in their life right this second or forget it. Let them question everything now about God cause shutting down doesn't work anyway. "Why bad stuff happen" "why suffering" real questions keeping them up not just messing around. Fake answers they smell instantly. Can't do the nice Sunday school responses anymore. Won't talk front of everyone cause middle school social stuff's brutal. Small groups they'll actually say real things. Tell them when I screwed up admit don't know answers. Way more respect for that than pretending. Some days nothing works no idea why. Just doesn't. When actually engage though? Incredible. Questions I never thought about. For teachers figuring out preteens don't respond to lectures, people learning movement's not optional it's survival, anyone navigating middle school mess without clue what they're doing.

    12 min
  6. Ideas for Outdoor Ministry Events: Or How I Learned to Stop Fighting Nature and Start Working With It

    11/04/2025

    Ideas for Outdoor Ministry Events: Or How I Learned to Stop Fighting Nature and Start Working With It

    Sitting here with mud still caked under my fingernails from yesterday's outdoor disaster. Well not disaster exactly. Kids had fun. But I'm questioning some life choices. Three months ago our outdoor worship night was magical thing everyone's still talking about. Yesterday's nature scavenger hunt turned into me chasing escaped toddlers through poison ivy while parents pretended not to notice their kids having meltdowns. Outdoor ministry is weird like that. Same person planning same basic idea completely different results depending on factors you can't control. September family picnic seemed brilliant. Move monthly dinner outside enjoy nice weather let kids run around instead of being cooped up in fellowship hall. Picked spot under our big tree because shade is good right? Made sandwiches bought chips set up nice tablecloths like I knew what I was doing. Fifteen minutes in ants everywhere. Not just few ants. Like biblical plague levels of ants. Coming up through tablecloth crawling across sandwiches one poor toddler had ants in his sippy cup and started that kind of crying where you know whole event basically over. "Oh that tree?" Mrs Williams says while we're frantically moving food. "Yeah we never put anything under there. Huge ant colony." Thanks for heads up. Had to relocate entire picnic to asphalt parking lot. Classy. Nothing says family fellowship like eating on hot pavement while kids complain about sitting on concrete. Still finding ants in my car two weeks later. Checked weather obsessively for spring egg hunt. Beautiful forecast all week. Sunny perfect temperature no chance of rain. Saturday morning gray drizzly and cold enough that parents were digging sweatshirts out of car trunks. Did fastest egg hunt in church history. Kids running around getting soaked while parents huddled under pavilion looking like they'd rather be literally anywhere else. Wrapped in twenty minutes instead of planned two hours. Everyone rushing to cars like building was on fire. But kids? They loved it. Getting wet was apparently best part. Parents looked miserable. Kids telling stories about it for weeks. Still not sure if that counts as success or failure. Campfire night seemed classic. Turns out having actual fires at church involves permits and insurance calls and regulations I didn't know existed. Gave up. Bought propane fire pit thing instead. S'mores with thirty kids still more complicated than expected. Kids dropping marshmallows into fire fighting over sticks getting chocolate everywhere except actual s'mores. One six year old caught his marshmallow on fire and flung it in panic. Landed on someone's shoe. Total chaos from adult perspective pure joy from kid perspective. For ministry leaders learning nature doesn't care about your timeline, anyone discovering kids handle outdoor chaos better than adults, people ready to stop fighting weather and start working with it.

    6 min
  7. Beyond Filling Slots Prioritizing People for Sustainable Volunteer Engagement

    11/02/2025

    Beyond Filling Slots Prioritizing People for Sustainable Volunteer Engagement

    Sarah comes up after service looking stressed goes "I can't do VBS this year. I know you're counting on me but my mom's having surgery and I just can't commit to anything else right now." My first thought? Oh no. Sarah's one of my best volunteers. She knows all the kids. She's reliable. How am I gonna replace her for VBS? My second thought? Sarah looks like she's about to cry and here I am thinking about my volunteer schedule instead of caring about what she's going through. That's when hit me. Been so focused on making sure ministry runs smoothly that I forgot volunteers are actual people with real lives and problems and limits. Been doing this whole thing backwards honestly. Treating people like they exist to serve ministry instead of ministry existing to serve people. Had uncomfortable realization that maybe I've been more concerned about filling spots than caring for humans. Which is pretty much opposite of what ministry supposed to be about. Started really looking at how I approach volunteers and realized I've been seeing them as solutions to my problems instead of people with their own needs. Need someone for preschool? Ask Jessica. Need coverage for middle school? Call Tom. Someone to plan activities? Sarah's great at that. Never really asked what they wanted to do or what they were good at or what was going on in their lives. Just plugged them into whatever hole I needed filled. Jessica mentioned few months ago she'd love try teaching older kids sometime because her own daughter was moving up to elementary. Did I follow up on that? Nope. Too busy keeping her in preschool because that's where I needed her. Tom's been doing same job for three years and probably bored out of his mind but I never asked if he wanted try something different. Sarah's been taking on more and more responsibilities because she's so good at everything but I never checked if she was getting overwhelmed. Just kept piling stuff on because she never said no. No wonder she looked ready to cry. Been treating her like employee instead of person. Instead of "can you cover this class?" started asking "what's something you'd like to try doing?" Instead of assuming people are happy in their roles started asking "how's this working for you? What would you change?" Tom mentioned he'd always been curious about planning lessons but felt intimidated. So we started having him help with curriculum selection. Jessica got to try teaching older kids and absolutely loved it. Mike who I had doing setup every week mentioned he'd prefer working directly with kids. Turns out he's amazing at connecting with shy kids. Who knew? Actually asking people what they want reveals what they want. For ministry leaders learning volunteers are people not just spot-fillers, anyone discovering that treating humans like employees kills engagement, people ready to build ministry around people instead forcing people into ministry slots.

    7 min
  8. How to Measure Event Success: Beyond Counting Heads and Pretending Everything Went Perfect

    10/31/2025

    How to Measure Event Success: Beyond Counting Heads and Pretending Everything Went Perfect

    Used to think event success was simple. Count how many people showed up subtract number of major disasters and if more good things happened than bad things call it a win. Turns out measuring success is way more complicated than that. Last spring had family movie night that looked like complete failure on paper. Projector died fifteen minutes in half the popcorn got burned and it started raining so hard we couldn't hear backup audio we switched to. But three months later kids were still talking about it. Not the movie nobody remembered what we were supposed to watch. They remembered how we all ended up sitting in circles telling stories when technology failed. How parents started sharing embarrassing childhood stories. Was that successful? Depends how you measure it. Spent years obsessing over attendance numbers like they meant something definitive. "Thirty-seven people came to family game night!" Sounds impressive until you realize twelve of those were toddlers who spent most evening crying or trying eat game pieces. "Only fifteen families at spring picnic." Sounds disappointing until you consider those fifteen families actually talked to each other kids played together across age groups and two families who'd never connected before exchanged phone numbers. Numbers are easy to count but they don't capture what actually matters. Like mom who told me our Valentine's party was first time her shy daughter willingly participated in group activities. That conversation doesn't show up in attendance spreadsheet but probably more important than head count. Asked our elementary kids what their favorite part of summer kickoff was. Expected them say games or prizes or ice cream. Nope. Favorite part was when Mrs Johnson's lawn chair collapsed and she ended up sitting on ground laughing so hard she couldn't get up. That moment lasted maybe thirty seconds. But it's what they remembered three months later. Best indicator of event success might be volunteer willingness help again. If volunteers enjoyed themselves enough sign up for next event something went right. If they're suddenly too busy help with future things that tells you something too. Had summer cookout that looked successful from outside. Good attendance kids playing happily parents chatting and relaxed. But three of my regular volunteers mentioned afterward they felt overwhelmed and unprepared. Those volunteers didn't sign up help with fall festival. Event might have been fun for families but wasn't sustainable for people making it happen. That's kind of failure even when everything else goes well. For ministry leaders learning smooth logistics don't guarantee meaningful impact, anyone discovering disasters sometimes create best memories, people ready to measure what actually matters instead what's easy to count.

    6 min

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Hello ๐Ÿ‘‹, we share ideas, tips, and resources to help your Children's Ministry thrive!