Ten years ago, Megan Babcock stood at her front door with her keys in her hand and told her crying son that if he didn't stop, she'd take his phone. And in that second she heard it — the exact thing that had broken her as a kid, coming out of her own mouth. That night she ended up on the bathroom floor saying the only prayer she had left: I can't live like this anymore. In this Season 1 finale, Megan and I get into what stuck actually is (spoiler: it's avoidance, and it can look like depression or like doing 100 things at once), why the healthcare system quietly runs on unhealed people trying to heal people, and the three-question process God walked her through on that floor — why, what, how. We also go somewhere I didn't expect. Megan shares how God told her to go back into an abusive marriage for six months, and what He was actually doing in her while she was there. She's clear, and I want you to hear it: that is not counsel she gives to anyone walking through domestic violence. That was a specific word for a specific season in her life. She did leave. If you've been managing your life instead of living it, this one's for you. CONTENT NOTE: This episode includes discussion of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and childhood trauma. If you're in an unsafe situation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. WHAT WE COVER • Why perfectionism is an addiction most of us would never name as one • The external stuff (clean house, color-coded everything) vs. the internal stuff (indecision, self-sabotage, negative self-talk) • Why indecision is perfectionism in a costume • How burnout culture attracts wounded people trying to heal out of their own mess • Being stuck as avoidance — and why the busy version and the shut-down version are the same thing underneath • Megan's honest take on medication: it can buy you capacity, but it can't do the heart work for you • The three-question process: Why am I activated? What do I need? How do I move forward? • Taking thoughts captive and measuring them against the fruit of the Spirit • Why healing with Jesus is gentle instead of retraumatizing • My own "obedience stronghold" and the gap between what God actually required and what I thought He required • All abuse is the removal of free will — including the kind that looks like people-pleasing and control • Being a victim vs. living in victimization • Breaking generational cycles by apologizing to your kids • Fear as the root — and what God did about it in a Mexican restaurant parking lot MEGAN'S ONE NEXT STEP FOR YOU THIS WEEK Get curious about your nervous system. When your chest grips or your stomach drops, pause before you react. Ask the Holy Spirit why. He designed the alert system; He'll help you read it. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 There's a man in Exodus who buried a body in the sand 02:02 The one question this episode answers 02:14 Welcome — I'm Lenee' Pezzano 03:09 What you need to hear before we start: Megan's caveat 04:00 Content note and hotline 04:31 Season 1 finale, and what's coming in Season 2 05:34 Meet Megan Babcock 06:31 The one word I think of when I think of you: unstuck 08:13 Mother's Day weekend, 2016 09:09 The keys, the door, the meltdown 10:01 Hearing her own childhood come out of her mouth 11:06 The bathroom floor: "I can't live like this anymore" 13:01 Healthcare, scrutiny, and where perfectionism gets fed 14:10 Broken people trying to heal out of a mess 15:08 What the church lost: discipleship and permission to be honest 17:04 Hustle culture, including the Christian version 18:07 The highlight reel vs. what's underneath 19:00 So what does it actually mean to be stuck? 21:12 The rabbit hole you're afraid to go down 22:00 Big T and little T trauma 23:11 Medication, capacity, and what it can't do for you 24:01 A holistic approach, from a nurse 27:02 Taking thoughts captive and reprogramming them 28:00 Rereading the Garden of Eden 29:00 He covered them Himself 30:10 "I could not interpret His heart" 31:04 When perfect love felt like a counterfeit 33:01 God sent her back — and what she wants you to know first 34:00 Taking the kids as retribution 35:06 All abuse is the removal of free will 36:10 A victim vs. living in victimization 37:06 Fight, flight, freeze, fawn 40:06 Recognize the trigger. Pause. 41:00 The story running on a loop 42:10 This isn't self-help 43:00 The same power that raised Jesus 44:04 The five whys 47:08 The root: "I don't feel good enough" 48:00 Why judging and shaming can't change it 49:00 What do I need? A boundary? Forgiveness? 50:08 Trying to perfect my perfectionism 52:03 Crossroads moments 55:02 "Reveal the wicked ways within me" 56:08 Book knowledge vs. revelation 57:02 Deeper levels of healing 59:08 Doing it in my own strength again 1:01:03 Fear at the root 1:04:09 The restaurant, and praying over her son 1:05:06 "Would you trust Me even if she died?" 1:06:02 "I had to change. Not everything else around me." 1:07:00 He takes you in your mess 1:08:06 The one thing you can do this week 1:10:03 Safe people, attachment, and why we can't do it alone 1:13:00 Where to find Megan 1:15:00 Megan prays over you 1:17:06 Four things that struck me 1:18:02 Ask, seek, knock 1:19:05 The Transformation Academy 1:20:04 See you in January FIND MEGAN itsyourstorytotell.com — free courses, workshops, Bible studies, book studies, and the It's Your Story to Tell podcast. It's Your Story to Tell is a nonprofit and offers coaching scholarships, because the people who need this most are often in a hard financial season too. The Unstuck Walkthrough and Worksheet here. Megan is Vice President of the International Nurse Coaches Association. Her book: Unstuck SCRIPTURES BY TOPIC Everything we touched on today, organized so you can keep studying. COMING TO GOD BEFORE YOU'RE CLEANED UP Psalm 34:18 — He is near to the brokenhearted Psalm 51:17 — a broken and contrite heart is the sacrifice He wants Matthew 5:3 — blessed are the poor in spirit Matthew 5:6 — hunger and thirst, and you will be filled OBEDIENCE FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF FEAR Romans 8:15 — not a spirit of slavery leading back to fear, but adoption 1 John 4:18 — perfect love casts out fear Romans 2:4 — it's His kindness that leads us to repentance Luke 15:25-32 — the elder brother, who never left and never rested KEEP ASKING Matthew 7:7-8 — ask, seek, knock Jeremiah 29:13 — you'll find Him when you search with your whole heart Matthew 18:3 — come to Him like a child TAKING THOUGHTS CAPTIVE 2 Corinthians 10:5 — take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Galatians 5:22-23 — the fruit of the Spirit, Megan's measuring stick Romans 12:2 — transformed by the renewing of your mind Psalm 139:23-24 — search me, know my heart, see if there is any hurtful way in me LOOKING AT YOUR OWN CHARACTER FIRST Matthew 7:3-5 — the plank and the speck 1 Samuel 16:7 — man looks at the outside, God looks at the heart Matthew 23:25-27 — cleaning the outside of the cup STUCK, STRIVING, AND REST Matthew 11:28-30 — His yoke is easy, His burden is light John 15:5 — apart from Me you can do nothing Luke 10:38-42 — Martha, anxious and troubled about many things Psalm 32:3-5 — when I kept silent, my bones wasted away Philippians 4:13, in context — read verses 11-13 together FEELINGS AS SIGNALS, NOT INSTRUCTIONS Ephesians 4:26 — be angry and do not sin Psalm 42:5 — David questions his own soul instead of obeying it Psalm 139:14 — fearfully and wonderfully made Proverbs 4:23 — guard your heart, everything flows from it FREE WILL Deuteronomy 30:19 — I have set before you life and death; choose life Joshua 24:15 — choose this day whom you will serve Revelation 3:20 — He stands at the door and knocks THE GARDEN, RETOLD Genesis 3:21 — He clothed them Himself before He sent them out BREAKING GENERATIONAL CYCLES 1 Peter 1:18 — redeemed from the empty way of life handed down from your ancestors Ezekiel 18:1-4 — that proverb ends here Malachi 4:6 — turning the hearts of parents to their children GRACE, WEAKNESS, AND THE LONG JOURNEY 2 Corinthians 12:9 — His power made perfect in weakness Philippians 1:6 — He will complete what He began Lamentations 3:22-23 — mercies new every morning Philippians 3:12-14 — I have not yet arrived; I press on WHERE MEGAN STARTED, AND WHERE SHE'LL TAKE YOU Isaiah 61:1-3 — beauty for ashes Isaiah 9:6 — Wonderful Counselor ABOUT THE SHOW I'm Lenee' Pezzano, and I help women interrupt the patterns th 🌐 Connect with Lenee' Pezzano and The Redeemed Perfectionist 🔗 www.leneepezzano.com – Explore Resources & More 📞Ask Lenee' Anything!: https://www.speakpipe.com/LeneePezzano
