The Higher Valleys Podcast

Spencer Paysinger & Jelani Jenkins

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.

  1. 12/03/2025

    Losing Recipes

    Jelani and Spencer close out Thanksgiving with a sprawling conversation that moves from farting on airplanes to reimagining the holiday feast, from losing family recipes to a five-year-old navigating questions about his hair. They debate whether cranberry sauce deserves a seat at the table, fantasize about oxtails and plantains joining the lineup, and remember the greens that conjured ancestors. The guys unpack Jelani's son asking to cut his hair after a classmate's comment, Spencer's story of his dad cutting his afro in a barbershop, and the quiet hair revolution happening in Black communities post-COVID. They wrestle with what it means to be the new aunts and uncles of Thanksgiving—hosting, coordinating, and realizing the emotional labor that comes with creating family traditions. Lane Kiffin's move from Ole Miss to LSU becomes a lens for loyalty, transactional culture, and what college football's transfer era means for players left behind. And in a full-circle moment, they shout out Megan Thee Stallion for her recent single celebrating Klay Thompson—a reminder that the quiet ones who know who they are often win in the end. Quotes "I'm eternally grateful for my wife for giving me the permission to fail because I have been bred to always achieve. And I have not necessarily had the space to fail." "At the end of the day, a woman, a young lady, a girl—they want to feel safe in the presence of boys, of men." "We are losing recipes. That mac and cheese is not going to taste the same, that stuffing is not going to taste the same that you grew up on." "I truly believe like a piece of me or a version of me legit died that day." — Spencer on his 5th grade haircut "Don't be on autopilot with these holidays. Come into these holidays with intention." Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 54m
  2. 11/25/2025

    Troubleshooting

    Jelani and Spencer navigate the delicate balance between coaching and nurturing as fathers—from Spencer stepping into flag football coach mode to Jelani's lesson on troubleshooting with his kids. They celebrate wins like Madden doing dishes unprompted, debate the absurdity of rappers saying reading isn't important, and discuss why the "pause" culture reveals masculine insecurity. The conversation shifts to Childish Gambino opening up about his stroke and heart surgery, Deion Sanders coaching his son Shedeur through his first NFL start, and the power of planting seeds early so kids grow roots strong enough to weather any storm. This is an episode about teaching responsibility, embracing vulnerability, and refusing to let outdated voices define the next generation. Topics Covered • Spencer's decision to coach his son's flag football team after seeing poor coaching • Teaching kids the fundamentals: breaking down, pulling flags, running plays • Jelani's philosophy on troubleshooting—teaching kids to check the boxes • The compliment hierarchy: why compliments from gay men feel like finding $5 in your jeans • Juelz Santana saying kids don't need to read, just do math—and why that's harmful • The "pause" conversation: Cam Newton, Fabulous, and masculine fragility • Why saying "pause" reveals more about you than the person you're correcting • Childish Gambino's health scare: stroke, heart surgery, and his "second life" philosophy • Deion Sanders and Shedeur Sanders: building privilege and planting seeds early • Dad naps, power naps, and why rest shouldn't require permission • Madden doing the dishes without being asked—teaching kids responsibility through modeling • The balance between being a supportive sideline dad vs. stepping into coach mode Quotes "You can do hard things. Tell me you can do hard things." "Getting a compliment from a gay man is like finding $5 in your jeans—you didn't know it was there, and now you're just happy." "Everybody has two lives. The first life is the life that they think they're living. And the second life is after they realize they only have one life to live." — Childish Gambino Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 22m
  3. 11/18/2025

    Belt to A$$

    This episode takes an unexpected turn—what starts as a lighthearted gripe about overly cheerful school drop-off teachers spirals into a raw conversation about discipline, memory, and the invisible marks our parents left on us. Jelani and Spencer swap stories about getting punished as kids—switches in public parks, belts chosen from the closet, stomach punches that sent them flying. They laugh through the pain, but underneath it all is a deeper question: How do we honor what shaped us while choosing something different for our kids? From cause-and-effect lessons to the psychology of fear, this episode is about the delicate balance between respecting where we come from and rewriting the script. If you've ever wrestled with how your past shows up in your parenting, this one will sit with you. Topics Covered The discomfort of overly enthusiastic school drop-off routinesChildhood discipline stories: belts, switches, and creative punishmentsThe emotional complexity of being right versus being heard as a kidHow teachers remember certain students—and whyThe shift from fear-based discipline to teaching cause and effectWhy modern kids don't carry the same fear of physical punishmentParenting without repeating generational traumaThe importance of explaining lessons after disciplineEddie Murphy's 'Being Eddie' documentary and parenting with peace of mindMichael Jackson biopic trailer discourse and respecting iconsHighlight Quotes "I stood up to my dad and I got punched in the stomach, so I'm not really going to do this anymore.""My kids have no idea what a belt is for discipline. When I snap it, they're like, 'Can I try that?'""You can't perform your way into peace."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 34m
  4. 11/12/2025

    Breathin’ Season

    In this episode, Jelani and Spencer move from Mercury retrograde and astrology to aliens and the Atlas Comet, from Lego obsessions to their kids' endless art projects, and from millennial parenting to the weight of vulnerability. What starts as banter about tech glitches and barbecue chicken left on car roofs becomes a reflection on raising kids they've never seen before—living room kids instead of bedroom kids, children who feel safe enough to stay present. They talk about teaching sons chivalry while figuring out the language to empower daughters, asking for hugs when you need them, and why it's deep breathing season. Then they shift to Deion Sanders facing scrutiny for team chaplains, the role of faith in football, and the tragic deaths of Marshawn Neelan, Doug Martin, and Nick Mangold—a reminder that behind every helmet is a human being. This is a conversation about astrology, Legos, legacy, and learning to breathe through the chaos. Topics Covered Mercury retrograde as deep breathing season and navigating cosmic chaosAstrology, birth timing, and the power of women in shaping our identityThe Atlas Comet conspiracy and what it means if aliens are real (and Black)Managing kids' art and creativity without drowning in drawingsLegos as meditation, control, and family bonding (plus the Pharrell documentary)Bedroom kids vs. living room kids: the millennial parenting shiftSpencer's vulnerable moment with Cairo—asking for a hug and teaching emotional intelligenceGender roles: chivalry for sons, empowerment language for daughtersCurating your life and cutting out generational traumaDeion Sanders, the Freedom From Religion Foundation, and faith embedded in footballHonoring Marshawn Neelan, Nick Mangold, and Doug Martin—mental health in athleticsHighlight Quotes "It's deep breathing season. You can't keep a good man down. You can't keep a good podcast down.""We are raising kids we have never seen before. We are raising something we have never seen before and attempting to address all of our past shit in the process.""Can you imagine scoring your first touchdown in the NFL and still feeling like this is not a world you want to be in anymore? That's the kind of thing everyone needs to recognize when they see us playing in front of all these people with all this pressure.""Daddy needs a hug right now. Can you put your arms around me and can you squeeze me and I'll squeeze you too, like an equal hug.""Let them aliens step off that ship and be black. That would start the next World War.""When you put something out into the world, it's not yours anymore. It's now up for consumption."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 14m
  5. 11/04/2025

    Los Doyers!!!!

    Spencer skips a championship parade to sit in the pocket with Jelani—and what unfolds is a masterclass on legacy, presence, and the long game. Baseball becomes metaphor: the quiet between pitches, the pressure in the ninth, the heads-up play no one sees coming. Jelani celebrates his son’s white belt and the way confidence finds a voice. They talk work trips, restraint, core memories, and why the future of hip-hop might sound more like soul and gospel than streams and charts. If you’re building a family culture that feels like a team that knows how to win, this one’s for you. TOPICS COVERED • Choosing presence over spectacle when a city is celebrating • Baseball as a living blueprint for patience, pressure, and precision under bright lights • Reading the count: slowing down between pitches as a father, leader, and partner • Taekwondo belts as a family ritual: voice, confidence, and intergenerational memory • From white belt to worldview: why early wins should teach form before speed • Work-trip discipline vs. “demon time”: boundaries, accountability, and self-respect on the road • Investing in people like a GM: contracts, rosters, and how families build depth charts • Streaming metrics vs. resonance: why charts don’t equal culture or legacy • Hip-hop’s next chapter: soul, gospel, and what we want our kids to absorb • Making core memories at home: small traditions that outlast public fireworks • Coaching the household: standards that feel like safety, not surveillance • When to call a timeout: rest, reset blocks, and breathing in high-pressure moments • Language of confidence: teaching the body to match the message • The long game of love: playing for October while showing up on a random Tuesday QUOTES • “Sometimes the loudest parade is the one in your living room.” • “Belts don’t just measure progress—they teach the voice to match the strike.” • “The long game of fatherhood is learning when to slow down so the moment can speed up.” WHERE TO FIND US • Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast • TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 39m
  6. 10/28/2025

    No Limit

    In this episode, Jelani and Spencer move from the Cash Money vs No Limit verzuz battle to the future of student athletes in the super school era. What starts as nostalgia for Southern hip-hop becomes a sprawling conversation about education, identity development, and what happens when money enters the equation too early. Then they pivot to the NBA gambling scandal involving Chauncey Billups and Terry Rozier - unpacking how sports betting has fundamentally changed the integrity of the game. Topics Covered Hip-Hop and Regional Pride The verzuz battle in Vegas—Juvenile's stage presence, Mia X as an underrated forceMaster P bridging New Orleans and the Bay AreaSpencer's surreal experience with Lil Romeo at Beverly Hills HighHalloween and Fatherhood Teaching kids to move through fear, not avoid itThe haunted house debate: does your girl go in front or behind?The Super School Question Wellington Sports Academy and IMG - prioritizing sports over traditional educationThe tension between future earnings and child developmentWhy identity development matters more than early paychecksEducation Reform Real skills that should replace calculus: taxes, Excel, networking, resume buildingThe post-career identity crisis athletes face when sports endThe Gambling Crisis Chauncey Billups and rigged poker gamesTerry Rozier caught in sports bettingProp betting makes athlete influence tangibleLeBron as DraftKings investor while playing; NFL owning 10% of ESPN Bet"Big tobacco is now just gambling"—Jeff PearlmanHighlight Quotes "We got to have an honest discussion about these old Negroes, bro. These old, unhealed street n****s that are still trying to preserve this version of self that is kind of crumbling under the weight of the future.""Development and love first. And then after that all the beauties that come with the billion dollar industry of sports.""The goal post has just moved like 50 yards closer.""This is only the tip of the iceberg. This is cracking up a well of shit that is going to take a long time to really fully grasp how deep the rabbit hole goes."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 55m

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.