The Higher Valleys Podcast

Spencer Paysinger & Jelani Jenkins
  • 5.0 (4)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.

  1. 2D AGO

    Front Snap Kick

    Spencer and Jelani are back after the holiday break, and they're not buying into the "new year, new you" pressure. This episode digs into stamina over motivation, building systems that prevent creative burnout, and the intentional work of making memories with their kids. From Big Bear ski trips and lost Pokemon cards to teaching children how to solve problems independently, they explore what it means to raise resilient, self-sufficient humans. Plus: Indiana football's magical run to the championship, the genius of Coach Curt Cignetti's "professional college players" strategy, and why we need a 24/7 Michael Irvin reaction cam. If you're trying to build something that lasts beyond January's hype, this one's for you. 🔍 Topics Covered Stamina vs. motivation: sustaining enthusiasm beyond the New Year's sparkSystems and environment design to prevent burnout and stay on trackNostalgia as emotional architecture (Pokemon, Big Bear, Twitter vs. Threads)Teaching kids independence, problem-solving, and how to find things themselvesParenting through altercations: boundaries, consequences, and when to front snap kickIndiana's Cinderella story and Curt Cignetti's transfer portal masteryThe "professional college player" model: recruiting older, experienced athletesFourth-down decision culture in football and the role of data vs. intuitionLegacy letter to Asé on his 5th birthday: stay connected to your God voice🗣️ Highlight Quotes "I don't need new motivation. I need the stamina to sustain the enthusiasm I already have.""We're creating a dependent generation. They need to learn how to figure shit out.""Cignetti didn't recruit five-stars at 17. He recruited three-stars at 23—professional college players.""Asé New Year's resolution? 'To be thankful.' The whole room went 'awwww'.""Michael Irvin needs a live reaction cam. I'd pay $2.99 for that all day."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 52m

  2. 12/17/2025

    Jingle Jangle

    This episode is about letting go and starting fresh. Spencer reflects on cutting his hair as a ritual of renewal, while Jelani shares the emotions of watching his kids and classmates performing for the holidays. They explore how trust is built through small acts of freedom, why Christmas still matters despite the noise, and what it means to define happiness on your own terms. From Hollywood's billion-dollar power plays to the dying relevance of college bowl games, this conversation is a reminder that the old rules don't have to be your rules. 🔍 Topics Covered Spencer's ceremonial hair transformation after All-American wrapsThe curse word experiment: giving kids safe space to be realChristmas as a reset — not a performanceParenting hurdles and the art of giving kids room to runHollywood consolidation: Netflix, Paramount, and the fight for controlThe death of bowl game relevance in the NIL eraRob Reiner's legacy and an industry in mourningFinding new energy in a world under siege🗣️ Highlight Quotes "If you've grown up with a stubborn parent, by the time you're an adult, you know how to navigate around all the hurdles they put in front of you.""Why not take down some of those self-imposed hurdles and allow them more space to run?""Define what your happiness is. If you want to listen to your kids curse in a car, let your kids curse in the car."Where to Find Us: Instagram: @highervalleyspodcastTikTok: @highervalleysSend us a text

    1h 54m

  3. 12/12/2025

    Plan B

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    1h 37m

  4. 12/03/2025

    Losing Recipes

    Jelani and Spencer close out Thanksgiving with a sprawling conversation that moves from farting on airplanes to reimagining the holiday feast, from losing family recipes to a five-year-old navigating questions about his hair. They debate whether cranberry sauce deserves a seat at the table, fantasize about oxtails and plantains joining the lineup, and remember the greens that conjured ancestors. The guys unpack Jelani's son asking to cut his hair after a classmate's comment, Spencer's story of his dad cutting his afro in a barbershop, and the quiet hair revolution happening in Black communities post-COVID. They wrestle with what it means to be the new aunts and uncles of Thanksgiving—hosting, coordinating, and realizing the emotional labor that comes with creating family traditions. Lane Kiffin's move from Ole Miss to LSU becomes a lens for loyalty, transactional culture, and what college football's transfer era means for players left behind. And in a full-circle moment, they shout out Megan Thee Stallion for her recent single celebrating Klay Thompson—a reminder that the quiet ones who know who they are often win in the end. Quotes "I'm eternally grateful for my wife for giving me the permission to fail because I have been bred to always achieve. And I have not necessarily had the space to fail." "At the end of the day, a woman, a young lady, a girl—they want to feel safe in the presence of boys, of men." "We are losing recipes. That mac and cheese is not going to taste the same, that stuffing is not going to taste the same that you grew up on." "I truly believe like a piece of me or a version of me legit died that day." — Spencer on his 5th grade haircut "Don't be on autopilot with these holidays. Come into these holidays with intention." Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 54m

  5. 11/25/2025

    Troubleshooting

    Jelani and Spencer navigate the delicate balance between coaching and nurturing as fathers—from Spencer stepping into flag football coach mode to Jelani's lesson on troubleshooting with his kids. They celebrate wins like Madden doing dishes unprompted, debate the absurdity of rappers saying reading isn't important, and discuss why the "pause" culture reveals masculine insecurity. The conversation shifts to Childish Gambino opening up about his stroke and heart surgery, Deion Sanders coaching his son Shedeur through his first NFL start, and the power of planting seeds early so kids grow roots strong enough to weather any storm. This is an episode about teaching responsibility, embracing vulnerability, and refusing to let outdated voices define the next generation. Topics Covered • Spencer's decision to coach his son's flag football team after seeing poor coaching • Teaching kids the fundamentals: breaking down, pulling flags, running plays • Jelani's philosophy on troubleshooting—teaching kids to check the boxes • The compliment hierarchy: why compliments from gay men feel like finding $5 in your jeans • Juelz Santana saying kids don't need to read, just do math—and why that's harmful • The "pause" conversation: Cam Newton, Fabulous, and masculine fragility • Why saying "pause" reveals more about you than the person you're correcting • Childish Gambino's health scare: stroke, heart surgery, and his "second life" philosophy • Deion Sanders and Shedeur Sanders: building privilege and planting seeds early • Dad naps, power naps, and why rest shouldn't require permission • Madden doing the dishes without being asked—teaching kids responsibility through modeling • The balance between being a supportive sideline dad vs. stepping into coach mode Quotes "You can do hard things. Tell me you can do hard things." "Getting a compliment from a gay man is like finding $5 in your jeans—you didn't know it was there, and now you're just happy." "Everybody has two lives. The first life is the life that they think they're living. And the second life is after they realize they only have one life to live." — Childish Gambino Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 22m

  6. 11/18/2025

    Belt to A$$

    This episode takes an unexpected turn—what starts as a lighthearted gripe about overly cheerful school drop-off teachers spirals into a raw conversation about discipline, memory, and the invisible marks our parents left on us. Jelani and Spencer swap stories about getting punished as kids—switches in public parks, belts chosen from the closet, stomach punches that sent them flying. They laugh through the pain, but underneath it all is a deeper question: How do we honor what shaped us while choosing something different for our kids? From cause-and-effect lessons to the psychology of fear, this episode is about the delicate balance between respecting where we come from and rewriting the script. If you've ever wrestled with how your past shows up in your parenting, this one will sit with you. Topics Covered The discomfort of overly enthusiastic school drop-off routinesChildhood discipline stories: belts, switches, and creative punishmentsThe emotional complexity of being right versus being heard as a kidHow teachers remember certain students—and whyThe shift from fear-based discipline to teaching cause and effectWhy modern kids don't carry the same fear of physical punishmentParenting without repeating generational traumaThe importance of explaining lessons after disciplineEddie Murphy's 'Being Eddie' documentary and parenting with peace of mindMichael Jackson biopic trailer discourse and respecting iconsHighlight Quotes "I stood up to my dad and I got punched in the stomach, so I'm not really going to do this anymore.""My kids have no idea what a belt is for discipline. When I snap it, they're like, 'Can I try that?'""You can't perform your way into peace."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 34m

  7. 11/12/2025

    Breathin’ Season

    In this episode, Jelani and Spencer move from Mercury retrograde and astrology to aliens and the Atlas Comet, from Lego obsessions to their kids' endless art projects, and from millennial parenting to the weight of vulnerability. What starts as banter about tech glitches and barbecue chicken left on car roofs becomes a reflection on raising kids they've never seen before—living room kids instead of bedroom kids, children who feel safe enough to stay present. They talk about teaching sons chivalry while figuring out the language to empower daughters, asking for hugs when you need them, and why it's deep breathing season. Then they shift to Deion Sanders facing scrutiny for team chaplains, the role of faith in football, and the tragic deaths of Marshawn Neelan, Doug Martin, and Nick Mangold—a reminder that behind every helmet is a human being. This is a conversation about astrology, Legos, legacy, and learning to breathe through the chaos. Topics Covered Mercury retrograde as deep breathing season and navigating cosmic chaosAstrology, birth timing, and the power of women in shaping our identityThe Atlas Comet conspiracy and what it means if aliens are real (and Black)Managing kids' art and creativity without drowning in drawingsLegos as meditation, control, and family bonding (plus the Pharrell documentary)Bedroom kids vs. living room kids: the millennial parenting shiftSpencer's vulnerable moment with Cairo—asking for a hug and teaching emotional intelligenceGender roles: chivalry for sons, empowerment language for daughtersCurating your life and cutting out generational traumaDeion Sanders, the Freedom From Religion Foundation, and faith embedded in footballHonoring Marshawn Neelan, Nick Mangold, and Doug Martin—mental health in athleticsHighlight Quotes "It's deep breathing season. You can't keep a good man down. You can't keep a good podcast down.""We are raising kids we have never seen before. We are raising something we have never seen before and attempting to address all of our past shit in the process.""Can you imagine scoring your first touchdown in the NFL and still feeling like this is not a world you want to be in anymore? That's the kind of thing everyone needs to recognize when they see us playing in front of all these people with all this pressure.""Daddy needs a hug right now. Can you put your arms around me and can you squeeze me and I'll squeeze you too, like an equal hug.""Let them aliens step off that ship and be black. That would start the next World War.""When you put something out into the world, it's not yours anymore. It's now up for consumption."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 14m

  8. 11/04/2025

    Los Doyers!!!!

    Spencer skips a championship parade to sit in the pocket with Jelani—and what unfolds is a masterclass on legacy, presence, and the long game. Baseball becomes metaphor: the quiet between pitches, the pressure in the ninth, the heads-up play no one sees coming. Jelani celebrates his son’s white belt and the way confidence finds a voice. They talk work trips, restraint, core memories, and why the future of hip-hop might sound more like soul and gospel than streams and charts. If you’re building a family culture that feels like a team that knows how to win, this one’s for you. TOPICS COVERED • Choosing presence over spectacle when a city is celebrating • Baseball as a living blueprint for patience, pressure, and precision under bright lights • Reading the count: slowing down between pitches as a father, leader, and partner • Taekwondo belts as a family ritual: voice, confidence, and intergenerational memory • From white belt to worldview: why early wins should teach form before speed • Work-trip discipline vs. “demon time”: boundaries, accountability, and self-respect on the road • Investing in people like a GM: contracts, rosters, and how families build depth charts • Streaming metrics vs. resonance: why charts don’t equal culture or legacy • Hip-hop’s next chapter: soul, gospel, and what we want our kids to absorb • Making core memories at home: small traditions that outlast public fireworks • Coaching the household: standards that feel like safety, not surveillance • When to call a timeout: rest, reset blocks, and breathing in high-pressure moments • Language of confidence: teaching the body to match the message • The long game of love: playing for October while showing up on a random Tuesday QUOTES • “Sometimes the loudest parade is the one in your living room.” • “Belts don’t just measure progress—they teach the voice to match the strike.” • “The long game of fatherhood is learning when to slow down so the moment can speed up.” WHERE TO FIND US • Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast • TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 39m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.

Information

  • Creator
    Spencer Paysinger & Jelani Jenkins
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    28
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Higher Valleys Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Higher Valleys Podcast