The Higher Valleys Podcast

Spencer Paysinger & Jelani Jenkins

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.

  1. 2D AGO

    Head to the Sky

    Spencer and Jelani kick off with Grammys talk: Olivia Dean's divine feminine energy ("a hug that lasts 2-3 seconds too long"), Bad Bunny winning Album of the Year and headlining the Super Bowl, and Kendrick's performance. They debate the Pro Bowl's flag football format with zero stakes, and Spencer shares his Pro Bowl snub story—losing to Lorenzo Alexander by half a tackle in special teams. They celebrate LaRussell signing to ROC Nation Distribution for the Bay Super Bowl halftime, breaking down the koi fish metaphor: you can only grow as big as your pond, and Russell's moving to the ocean. They push back on Jay-Z slander, urging listeners to do their homework on unvetted files. The tone shifts inward: both admit they've forgotten how to be bored and need stillness. Jelani's kids are back in school (Montessori opened despite frozen sidewalks), and Black History Month prompts a health check-in—both are scheduling physicals. They discuss the 72-75 year life expectancy for Black men and how NFL players lose medical coverage the day they retire. The second half tackles FBA (Foundational Black Americans): descendants of slavery vs. voluntary immigrants, Shaboozey's Grammy comments, withholding votes for reparations, and the risk of division. They reference the Atlanta reparations episode and ask: what does atonement look like beyond a check? Jelani shares his great-grandfather's Smithsonian quote: "Love is progress, hate is expensive." They close on optimism—progress requires showing up—and Spencer urges listeners to find "Optimism" by Souls of Blackness. Topics Covered Grammys: Olivia Dean, Bad Bunny, Kendrick, divine feminine vs. performative masculinity in musicPro Bowl flag football format, Spencer's special teams snub vs. Lorenzo AlexanderCampbell's Chunky Soup sweepstakes: Spencer's 5th grade trip to Hawaii for Pro Bowl '98/'99Russell signing to ROC Nation Distribution for Super Bowl halftimeKoi fish metaphor: outgrowing your pond, Russell moving to the oceanJay-Z pushback: unvetted hotline calls, do your homework before writing people offRelearning how to be bored, finding stillness in packed daysBlack History Month, annual physicals, 72-75 year Black male life expectancyNFL players losing medical coverage post-retirementFBA movement: lineage to American slavery, Shaboozey's "immigrants built this country" commentsWithholding votes for reparations—empowerment or division?Atlanta reparations episode: check vs. systemic changeAtonement vs. transactions, Jelani's great-grandfather with Dr. King"Optimism" by Souls of Blackness: keep your head to the skyHighlight Quotes "Olivia Dean feels like a hug that's maybe 2 or 3 seconds too long. Allows you to drop your shoulders.""I should have been in the Pro Bowl. Lorenzo Alexander got a half tackle more than me. I'll go to my grave saying that.""A koi fish can only grow as big as the pond it's in. Russell's moving to the ocean.""I forgot how to be bored. I forgot how to do nothing.""Black male life expectancy is 72-75 years. We gotta get our physicals.""FBA: someone classified as Black who can trace lineage to American slavery.""My great-grandfather worked with Dr. King. His Smithsonian quote: 'Love is progress, hate is expensive.'""Optimism is a strategy. Progress requires showing up, even when you're tired."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 15m
  2. JAN 29

    Smell the Flowers, Blow the Candle

    Jelani's breaking ice in his Maryland driveway while Spencer's complaining about 72 degrees in LA—but the real temperature check is on resilience. From teaching Cairo that a waffle to the toe isn't a crisis to Jelani's 93-point Bop It domination over his five-year-old, the guys explore how fathers set the bar for their kids' grit. They dissect private school navigation for Black families in LA, debate whether high school or college matters more for legacy building, and get deep on the Oscar campaign machine—why Sinners' 16 nominations might be performative, why One Battle After Another fetishizes Black women, and why Ruth Carter and Ryan Coogler deserve their flowers. The conversation shifts to LeBron and the Lakers: Jeanie Buss subtweeting gratitude, the player empowerment era's consequences, and whether LeBron's control has become a cautionary tale. They celebrate Jerry West as the eternal logo, unpack Kanye's recent apology for antisemitic rhetoric, and ask the hard question: can we hold space for mental health struggles while demanding accountability? This is an episode about teaching kids to do hard things, protecting Black identity in white spaces, and refusing to let perfectionism block the path to growth.  🔍 Topics Covered  • Snow week in Maryland vs 72-degree "winter" in LA—Jelani breaking ice, Spencer staying cozy  • Teaching resilience: Spencer's waffle-to-the-toe lesson with Cairo about not making a scene • The give-and-take of letting kids win vs making them earn it—building confidence vs entitlement  • Private school navigation for Black families in LA: John Carroll's school, Harvard-Westlake, identity sacrifice  • Spencer's inverted education philosophy: best high school, relaxed on college, nepotism as the endgame • Oscar nominations discourse: Sinners with 16 nods, One Battle After Another, Marty Supreme, Hamlet  • Home Alone rant: the Wet Bandits causing irreparable structural damage, not just robbery  • Lakers and LeBron: Jeanie Buss saying "grateful we got to draft Bronny"—a subtle jab  • Player empowerment era consequences: LeBron's influence on rosters (Westbrook, AD, JJ Redick as coach)  • Kanye West's apology for antisemitic and Nazi rhetoric, acknowledging bipolar disorder  • Debate: can we hold space for mental health while demanding accountability?  • Jay-Z's 4:44, Kendrick's Mr. Morale, Kobe's Mamba Mentality as accountability work  🗣️ Highlight Quotes • "You can do hard things. Tell me you can do hard things. I can do hard things."  • "I took that personal. I dropped that 107 real smooth and clean like that." —Jelani on Bop It  • "If they know they can get one on us in a little game here and there, what does that mean for how they carry themselves out in the world?"  • "The Wet Bandits turned on the water and caused irreparable structural, foundational damage. These guys need to go to jail for a long time."  • "Why do Black women only get nominated for insubordinate roles—playing the whore, the help, the druggie?"  • "Jeanie Buss saying 'we're grateful we got to draft Bronny' is the most passive-aggressive thing I've ever heard."  • "Jerry West is the logo. That man is the consummate professional."  • "Kanye apologized to the Black community specifically. That's the first time he's ever done that."  • "Accountability doesn't require perfection. It requires showing up."   Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 32m
  3. JAN 22

    Not Another Cinderella Story

    Spencer returns from Cabo recharged and ready—this is the real start of 2026. He and Jelani unpack Indiana's historic national championship run as proof that the NIL/transfer portal era is leveling college football in ways we've never seen. They debate whether it's a Cinderella story (spoiler: it's not—the talent stacks up), celebrate Mendoza's iconic fourth-down conversion, and wrestle with the cost of athlete empowerment: 14-year-olds now navigating agents, brands, and money without support systems. The NFL coaching carousel gets dissected—why Sean McDermott's firing stings, why Kevin Stefanski to Atlanta makes no sense, and how Patrick Mahomes inadvertently caused it all. Druski's megachurch pastor skit sparks a conversation about performative Black church culture, tithing corruption, and why comedians like Kai Cenat, IShowSpeed, and Dave Chappelle are doing vital cultural work. The episode closes with Spencer's computer dying and Jelani delivering a moving tribute to his father: "Anything you do, make it your ministry." 🔍 Topics Covered Cabo trip for Noelle's 40th birthday: hotel vibes, nightlife fails, and $28 spent at the clubIndiana's national championship win over Miami—top 5 greatest college sports story everMendoza's fourth-down QB draw as a statue-worthy, Heisman momentThe NIL/transfer portal era: why Indiana's success isn't a Cinderella storyCollege football talent distribution: basketball (18 spots) vs football (120+ spots)Mental health concerns for 14-15 year olds now dealing with agents, brands, and moneyNFL coaching carousel: Sean McDermott, Kevin Stefanski, Mike TomlinWhy Patrick Mahomes is indirectly responsible for all the coaching changesDruski's megachurch pastor skit and the Magic Johnson tithing storyBlack church culture critique: performative worship and commercializationBlack content creators doing meaningful work: Kai Cenat, IShowSpeed, Dave ChappelleIShowSpeed's Africa tour as positive global representationMike Tomlin's graceful Steelers exit—only 3 head coaches since 1969Jelani’s legacy letter to his father on January 21st 🗣️ Highlight Quotes "There is not a top 75 program in college football right now that has not had a conversation about how can they be like Indiana.""We do not get a generational story like Indiana if NIL doesn't happen.""Our athletes have been under the thumb of not earning market value for over 100 years.""We're going to see some very sad stories from the first wave of young athletes with NIL money.""I walked into a megachurch with TV screens, commercials, and QR codes for tithes. I left immediately.""Anything you do, make it your ministry." — Jelani’s father Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 39m
  4. JAN 13

    Front Snap Kick

    Spencer and Jelani are back after the holiday break, and they're not buying into the "new year, new you" pressure. This episode digs into stamina over motivation, building systems that prevent creative burnout, and the intentional work of making memories with their kids. From Big Bear ski trips and lost Pokemon cards to teaching children how to solve problems independently, they explore what it means to raise resilient, self-sufficient humans. Plus: Indiana football's magical run to the championship, the genius of Coach Curt Cignetti's "professional college players" strategy, and why we need a 24/7 Michael Irvin reaction cam. If you're trying to build something that lasts beyond January's hype, this one's for you. 🔍 Topics Covered Stamina vs. motivation: sustaining enthusiasm beyond the New Year's sparkSystems and environment design to prevent burnout and stay on trackNostalgia as emotional architecture (Pokemon, Big Bear, Twitter vs. Threads)Teaching kids independence, problem-solving, and how to find things themselvesParenting through altercations: boundaries, consequences, and when to front snap kickIndiana's Cinderella story and Curt Cignetti's transfer portal masteryThe "professional college player" model: recruiting older, experienced athletesFourth-down decision culture in football and the role of data vs. intuitionLegacy letter to Asé on his 5th birthday: stay connected to your God voice🗣️ Highlight Quotes "I don't need new motivation. I need the stamina to sustain the enthusiasm I already have.""We're creating a dependent generation. They need to learn how to figure shit out.""Cignetti didn't recruit five-stars at 17. He recruited three-stars at 23—professional college players.""Asé New Year's resolution? 'To be thankful.' The whole room went 'awwww'.""Michael Irvin needs a live reaction cam. I'd pay $2.99 for that all day."Where to Find Us Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 52m
  5. 12/03/2025

    Losing Recipes

    Jelani and Spencer close out Thanksgiving with a sprawling conversation that moves from farting on airplanes to reimagining the holiday feast, from losing family recipes to a five-year-old navigating questions about his hair. They debate whether cranberry sauce deserves a seat at the table, fantasize about oxtails and plantains joining the lineup, and remember the greens that conjured ancestors. The guys unpack Jelani's son asking to cut his hair after a classmate's comment, Spencer's story of his dad cutting his afro in a barbershop, and the quiet hair revolution happening in Black communities post-COVID. They wrestle with what it means to be the new aunts and uncles of Thanksgiving—hosting, coordinating, and realizing the emotional labor that comes with creating family traditions. Lane Kiffin's move from Ole Miss to LSU becomes a lens for loyalty, transactional culture, and what college football's transfer era means for players left behind. And in a full-circle moment, they shout out Megan Thee Stallion for her recent single celebrating Klay Thompson—a reminder that the quiet ones who know who they are often win in the end. Quotes "I'm eternally grateful for my wife for giving me the permission to fail because I have been bred to always achieve. And I have not necessarily had the space to fail." "At the end of the day, a woman, a young lady, a girl—they want to feel safe in the presence of boys, of men." "We are losing recipes. That mac and cheese is not going to taste the same, that stuffing is not going to taste the same that you grew up on." "I truly believe like a piece of me or a version of me legit died that day." — Spencer on his 5th grade haircut "Don't be on autopilot with these holidays. Come into these holidays with intention." Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 54m
  6. 11/25/2025

    Troubleshooting

    Jelani and Spencer navigate the delicate balance between coaching and nurturing as fathers—from Spencer stepping into flag football coach mode to Jelani's lesson on troubleshooting with his kids. They celebrate wins like Madden doing dishes unprompted, debate the absurdity of rappers saying reading isn't important, and discuss why the "pause" culture reveals masculine insecurity. The conversation shifts to Childish Gambino opening up about his stroke and heart surgery, Deion Sanders coaching his son Shedeur through his first NFL start, and the power of planting seeds early so kids grow roots strong enough to weather any storm. This is an episode about teaching responsibility, embracing vulnerability, and refusing to let outdated voices define the next generation. Topics Covered • Spencer's decision to coach his son's flag football team after seeing poor coaching • Teaching kids the fundamentals: breaking down, pulling flags, running plays • Jelani's philosophy on troubleshooting—teaching kids to check the boxes • The compliment hierarchy: why compliments from gay men feel like finding $5 in your jeans • Juelz Santana saying kids don't need to read, just do math—and why that's harmful • The "pause" conversation: Cam Newton, Fabulous, and masculine fragility • Why saying "pause" reveals more about you than the person you're correcting • Childish Gambino's health scare: stroke, heart surgery, and his "second life" philosophy • Deion Sanders and Shedeur Sanders: building privilege and planting seeds early • Dad naps, power naps, and why rest shouldn't require permission • Madden doing the dishes without being asked—teaching kids responsibility through modeling • The balance between being a supportive sideline dad vs. stepping into coach mode Quotes "You can do hard things. Tell me you can do hard things." "Getting a compliment from a gay man is like finding $5 in your jeans—you didn't know it was there, and now you're just happy." "Everybody has two lives. The first life is the life that they think they're living. And the second life is after they realize they only have one life to live." — Childish Gambino Where to Find Us  Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast  TikTok: @highervalleys Send us a text

    1h 22m

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The Higher Valleys Podcast is an ongoing conversation about all things fatherhood from friends and former NFL athletes Spencer Paysinger and Jelani Jenkins.  The show offers an unfiltered perspective on how to show up fully at home while thriving professionally.