talking to myself

alexander dmitriev
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Personal Journals
  • Updated Semiweekly

feeling my way through existence out loud. starting this show, i felt like i had something to say — and I wanted a place to hold all of it: thoughts, ideas, feelings, ramblings. you’re more than welcome to join me on this self-enquiring journey. my goal is simple: to spark a thought. to make you reflect on life, on what you’re doing in it — not with pressure, not with judgment, but gently. just thoughts, feelings, and emotions spoken out loud — like it’s 2 AM, everyone’s asleep, and we’re talking on a balcony. i love you! enjoy your stay.

Episodes

  1. 06/27/2025

    you are allowed to feel everything you are feeling

    in this episode, i talk about how you’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling — even the messy stuff.jealousy, love, fear, joy, grief... none of it makes you broken or weak. you’re not your thoughts. you’re not your emotions. you’re the one who gets to decide what to do with all of it.we go into why people avoid feeling things, why pain and joy come from the same place, and why numbing out isn’t the answer.not a lecture. just me trying to figure it out as i speak.

  2. 06/23/2025

    stop thinking before thinking stops you

    stop thinking before thinking stops you. this episode is about the lie of perfection, the trap of overthinking, and the way we keep performing for love that we should’ve been giving to ourselves all along. it’s about creation as self-love, and how most of us are too scared to even begin. because we were never taught how to see ourselves. only how to judge. so here’s me breaking the cycle. maybe it helps you break yours too.

  3. 06/19/2025

    they said “don’t trust anyone,” and you trusted them

    in this episode, i explore the idea that real freedom begins when we stop blindly trusting others — even the ones who sound smart, charismatic, or “right.” you’ve heard it before: “don’t trust anyone.” but what happens when the person who tells you that becomes the one you trust? i talk about how most of what we believe about life, people, and even ourselves comes from someone else’s lens — their hurt, their bias, their assumptions. and if you never stop to question it, their version of the world becomes yours. i don’t want to indoctrinate you either. this episode is a reminder (to myself and you) that the courage to think for yourself, feel for yourself, and experience life firsthand is what real human freedom is made of. let yourself be. make your own mistakes. build your own beliefs. every day is a school day. you can’t call in sick.

  4. 06/17/2025

    why talking to AI like its your friend isn’t weird at all

    talking about that one viral post of a guy chatting with chatgpt like it’s his girlfriend on the subway. people online called him “cooked” for relying on ai. i get it. but i also get him. i talk about my own experience — how this machine helped me start a youtube channel, a podcast, post reels, believe in myself more than most people ever did. this is not about glorifying ai. this is about being real about loneliness, support, and how sometimes we find comfort in strange places. maybe before judging people who talk to ai, we should ask why they have to in the first place.

  5. 06/16/2025

    the meaning you create is not defined by external validation

    i talk about how external validation is a shaky foundation to build anything on — especially self-worth. i reflect on my own journey with making videos, how perfectionism burned me out, and why i’m done chasing views or trying to impress people. this is me reminding myself that what i make matters because i made it. and if one person ever listens and it makes them think — then that’s more than enough. just another unfiltered ramble as i try to make peace with who i am, what i create, and why it’s okay to be imperfect.

  6. 06/15/2025

    what we are filled with is what we radiate

    this episode is one long, unfiltered stream of thought — i rambled 100% of the time. but sometimes, that’s exactly what’s needed. there’s no script here, no polished take. just me, thinking out loud about identity, perception, and the stories we tell ourselves. this episode is a testament to consistency over quality. if you can find a message in here — props to you. but here’s what i want to say to you personally: don’t let the inner critic silence your voice. even if you think what you made sucks, post it anyway. consistency beats perfection. there’s no stage to perform on — there’s just you. do it imperfect. make mistakes. but never stop doing. that’s how you grow, and that’s how you find yourself. thanks for being here.

  7. 06/13/2025

    this is your sign to do it anyway

    everyone tells you to "just start." but what they don't tell you is how heavy fear can feel, how much your own mind can sabotage you before you take that first step. in this episode, i share what it really felt like to start this channel after years of overthinking and why you need to do it even if you’re scared, unsure, and imperfect. nobody will come save you — but you can show up for yourself. that’s what this is about.

  8. 06/12/2025

    don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow

    don’t borrow sorrow from tomorrow — that’s the heart of today’s episode. i’m reflecting on the pointless pain we put ourselves through by stressing over what hasn’t even happened yet. if you’ve ever laid awake worrying about next week, next year, or the next version of yourself — this one’s for you. we talk about fear of the unknown, how our thoughts aren’t always facts, and why comparing struggles doesn’t help anyone. i also get into how it’s okay to feel things deeply, to not have everything figured out, and how you’ve actually been handling life better than you give yourself credit for. it’s a soft reminder (for me too) to stay present, to not let our minds hijack our peace, and to just let life unfold without trying to grip it too hard. hope it meets you where you’re at.

  9. 06/11/2025

    i saw a hot person online and it ruined my day

    today i got completely derailed after seeing a hot, successful guy on instagram. this episode is just me spiraling, unpacking jealousy, insecurity, and that deep feeling of not being enough. there's no conclusion, no fix — just me trying to sit with it and figure out why it hurts so much. if you've ever felt small just from seeing someone else's perfect-looking life, maybe this will speak to you.

  10. 06/10/2025

    introduction to talking to myself: who am i and what this is

    hi! welcome to talking to myself – a show about self-inquiry and thinking out loud.this is just a short introduction to who I am, why I’m starting this podcast, and what I hope to do here.it’s not polished, it’s not scripted — just me speaking freely, as I always will.if it resonates with you, I’d love for you to stay. take care!

  • 10 Episodes

About

feeling my way through existence out loud. starting this show, i felt like i had something to say — and I wanted a place to hold all of it: thoughts, ideas, feelings, ramblings. you’re more than welcome to join me on this self-enquiring journey. my goal is simple: to spark a thought. to make you reflect on life, on what you’re doing in it — not with pressure, not with judgment, but gently. just thoughts, feelings, and emotions spoken out loud — like it’s 2 AM, everyone’s asleep, and we’re talking on a balcony. i love you! enjoy your stay.

Information

  • Creator
    alexander dmitriev
  • Years Active
    2025
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © alexander dmitriev
  • Show Website
    talking to myself