This Is How You Think - Mindset Habits for Personal Growth

Jule Kim, Executive Coach
  • 5.0 (9)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

  1. 4D AGO

    Conflict Resolution: The Hidden Reason Someone Might Be Upset (Communication Skills 2)

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) If you’ve ever wondered how to de-escalate a conflict with someone who won’t let it go, or why your apology isn’t landing even when you mean it, this episode is going to give you a real answer. Most people try to fix the feeling, but the actual problem is almost always the thinking underneath it, and until you address the thought, nothing you say is going to move the needle. I walk through a real workshop scenario where the attendees roleplayed through a very common situation, and I show you which responses fell flat, which ones made things worse, and the one that finally worked. Then I get into the three approaches I use most often for conflict resolution at work and in relationships, including a technique I developed myself called coming to neutral. In this episode: The workshop scenario where four different apologies got four very different reactions, and what that tells you about how people actually process conflictThe one sentence that told me exactly which thought I needed to address, and how to spot this in your own hard conversationsHow to know whether to address someone’s emotions or their thinking firstThe accusation audit from Chris Voss, and how I use itThe technique I use with my clients to stop the wild emotional swings between positive and negative interpretationsWhy a reframe almost never works when emotions are still running high, and when it actually doesThe easy test I use to spot when someone’s thinking is the real problem in a conflictThis is part two of my communication mini series, so if you haven’t listened to part one yet, start there. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    14 min

  2. APR 29

    How to Talk to Someone Who’s Emotional Without Making It Worse (Communication Skills 1)

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Most of us mess up difficult or emotional conversations because we try to fix the wrong thing. Someone’s upset, and we hand them a fact, a logical explanation, a different perspective, and then we wonder why they get more frustrated or just shut down. (I’m guilty of doing this too.) In this episode I’m sharing my STEW framework (See, Think, Emotion, Words) and a really simple tool for handling someone who’s stuck in their emotions. It’s something I learned the painfully hard way after pissing off a lot of people, and it’s the difference between a conversation that actually goes somewhere and one where you both walk away annoyed. In this episode: The mom moment that made me realize I was treating emotional pain like it was a logic problemMy STEW framework and how to figure out where someone is actually stuckThe dead giveaway that tells you someone doesn’t need more information, they need something elseWhy people prefer feeling angry over feeling sad, and what that means for how you respondThe one tool that calms people down faster than almost anything elseThe mistake I see men make with women constantly that backfires every time This is Part 1 of 3 on how to handle someone stuck in their emotions. The next episode covers how to handle someone who’s stuck in their thinking. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    15 min

  3. APR 15

    The Video I Made in 10 Minutes Beat Everything I Overcomplicated

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) A video I made in ten minutes beat the ones I spent hours on. That forced me to face something I didn’t want to admit: a lot of what I called “hard work” and “progress” was just overcomplicating the real work. In this episode: How I convinced myself that hours of production per video was "doing the work"The TikTok I rushed in ten minutes that got more views than anything I'd ever madeWhy my TikTok coach told me my setup was actually hurting my growthThe real reason I kept going back to the old way even after I had proof it wasn't workingWhat I call "the packaging" and why it felt so much safer than just hitting recordThe one question I ask myself now whenever I catch myself overcomplicating somethingWhat actually changed about how I feel on camera now, and what didn'tSupport the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    10 min

  4. APR 8

    Why You Struggle to Apologize (and What It’s Costing Your Relationships)

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Most people who never learned how to apologize don't even realize that's the problem. I grew up in a Korean household where apologies never happened, so I spent years refusing to apologize without understanding what that was doing to my relationships. In this episode, I'm getting into why some people genuinely can't apologize, why over-apologizing does just as much damage, and what shifted for me when I finally stopped holding back. In this episode: Growing up without any model of what a healthy apology looks likeHow being punished into saying sorry as a kid turned apologies into a shame triggerThe moment in my relationship when I realized accountability wasn't optionalThe metaphor I use to think about what apologies are actually forOver-apologizing and why so many women are quietly burning their credibilityHow my parents, in their 70s, started doing something I never thought they'd doWhat changed across all of my relationships once I stopped withholding apologiesIf you've ever struggled to say sorry, or you're waiting on an apology you might never get, this one's for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    12 min

  5. APR 1

    Masking to Belong: People Don’t Know the Real You Because You Won’t Let Them

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Masking and people-pleasing often start as survival strategies in childhood, but over time they become the only version of you that people ever see. I break down how I used intelligence and helpfulness to earn belonging for decades without realizing it, and why that kept people from actually connecting with me. Topics covered in this episode: The Golden Buddha story and why we cover ourselves up to feel safeHow I discovered that being "the smart one" was my version of maskingWhy leading with intelligence, humor, or helpfulness earns you a spot but not a real connectionThe family messages that taught me to perform instead of show up as myselfWhen protective armor turns into a prisonWhat I'm still working through underneath my own maskHow to start figuring out what your mask isSupport the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    11 min

  6. MAR 26

    Your Unmet Needs: The Real Reason You Can’t Stop Self-Sabotaging

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Unmet emotional needs are the invisible saboteurs behind some of our most frustrating patterns.  I'm talking about the stuff where you know exactly what you need to change and you still can't do it.  In this episode I'm getting into what unmet needs actually are, how they're different from values, and how they've been running my life in ways I didn't see for years.  I share my own story of years of buying way too much stuff and filling up every room in my house, no matter how many times I tried to stop. I also walk through real examples from my clients and my own family to show you the two signs that a need is in the driver's seat. Topics covered: Why organizing and decluttering never worked for me, and what I was actually trying to solve forThe difference between needs and values, and why people mix them upTwo signs an unmet need is running things: behavior you can't stop, and emotional reactions that are way out of proportion to the situationHow unmet needs show up in sales calls, relationships, and everyday conflictWhy we lock onto one way to meet a need and act like it's the only optionCommon patterns I see in my clients: overworking, people-pleasing, emotional eating, and relationship conflictAn exercise to start figuring out your own unmet psychological needs (and when to do this with a therapist or coach, not alone)Want to read in-depth companion article to this episode? Send me a message on LinkedIn if you want to work on your unmet needs together. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    16 min

  7. MAR 18

    The 4-Step Formula for Boundaries So You Stop Feeling Like a Doormat

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Setting boundaries in relationships is one of those things most of us were never properly taught. In this episode, I break down what is a boundary, my 4-step formula, and how to actually set boundaries without being mean with family, friends, and coworkers. Topics covered in this episode: What a boundary actually is (and what it isn't)Why setting boundaries feels selfish, especially for people pleasersSigns you need stronger boundariesThe 4-step boundary setting formulaWhy ghosting someone is not the same as setting a boundaryIf you've been struggling with how to set boundaries or you keep letting things slide to avoid conflict, this episode is your starting point. Have questions about boundaries? Text the link in the show notes or find me on LinkedIn. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    11 min

  8. MAR 12

    You Built the ‘Right’ Career. So Why Does It Feel So Wrong?

    Text Jule comments or topic requests :) Why finding your purpose feels impossible: If you have no career direction, feel trapped by the golden handcuffs, and don't know what your next step is, I get it. I spent 39 years cycling through careers I didn't enjoy before I finally found my calling in coaching. In this episode, I talk about why so many of us end up stuck in careers we don't care about and how to choose your next career when you don't know where to start. Topics covered in this episode: Why we fall into careers based on convenience, money, or momentum instead of genuine fitHow promotions and lifestyle creep make it harder to leave the longer you stayThe real reason most people won't go after what they want (and it's not money or experience)Why we're more willing to fail at things we don't care about than risk failing at something we loveAn exercise I use with my coaching clients to identify what you're genuinely obsessed with, not just what you're good atHow to connect that obsession to an actual career pathDealing with people who judge you for starting over (I've done it more times than I can count)Why quitting what isn't meant for you is an act of self-trustIf you've been wondering whether there's more to your career than what you're doing now, this one's for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    19 min
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Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

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