This Is How You Think - Mindset Habits for Personal Growth

Jule Kim, Executive Coach
  • 5.0 (9)
  • Self-Improvement

Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

  1. 1d ago

    Quit the Negative Self-Talk ASAP: The Science Behind How Your Words Create Your Reality

    Text Jule :) Despite all the negative self-talk running in my head, for years I figured the whole “watch your words” thing was a load of bullsh*t.    Then about three years ago I came across research showing that emotions have a recipe, and it was a total light bulb moment for me.    So in this episode I’m breaking down the actual science of how the words you use shape what you feel, and how learning to control your emotions starts with paying attention to how you describe what’s happening to you. I’ll keep the mechanics simple, I promise.    In this episode: The saying I dismissed as a kid and why I finally bought into it three years ago The story of my photo getting stolen and how one sentence flipped me from mildly annoyed to full-blown rage Dr. Kristen Lindquist’s research showing that emotions have a recipe My potter’s wheel analogy Why it’s so important to use the right labels for what you’re thinking and feelingThe negative phrases I used to say to myself constantly and how I broke the habit A simple exercise for picking one phrase to swap out, and the friends-and-family trick for figuring out which one  If you tend to spiral when something hard happens and you can’t seem to talk yourself back out of it, this one’s for you. Related episode on how to change your thoughts: I was Toxic. Here's What Changed My Negative Mindset Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    13 min

  2. Jun 17

    The First Step to Confidence (Real Work My Coaching Clients Do)

    Text Jule :) How to build real confidence is one of the most common goals people come to me for, and the truth is that it starts with self-trust, not with the affirmation cards and power poses you find on Google. The real work is excavating your past to find a belief you keep carrying that isn’t true. I share the story of how my dad spent my childhood telling me my voice was annoying, and how that one belief got so loud in my head that I ignored dozens of podcast invitations for years because I was too ashamed to be heard. I walk you through the day when it finally shifted for me, and the small first action that took me from never appearing on podcasts to guesting on over 50 shows. Topics covered in this episode: Why affirmations, power poses, and feel-good quotes are not the actual work of building confidenceHow growing up emotionally repressed shaped the way I handled, or really didn’t handle, my own mental healthWhy we believe the things our parents tell us about ourselves, even when those things aren’t trueThe real first step to confidence, and it’s not what most of the personal development space sells youHow shame thrives in the dark and why saying it out loud is one of the best ways to dispel itThe exact message I’d send to make amends for something I avoided for yearsHow to pick a first action that’s big or small enough for wherever you actually are right nowWhy taking that one step becomes the proof you need to take the next oneIf your self-esteem has been spiraling and you just want one place to start, this one’s for you. If you liked this episode, also check out episode 2: How to Build Confidence that Actually Lasts from Oct 30, 2025. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    12 min

  3. Jun 10

    The One Question That Stops Self-Sabotage

    Text Jule :) Okay, so this is me pulling back the curtain on the public speaking anxiety and self-doubt that almost made me say no to the biggest talk of my career. I'm taking you through the whole mental spiral, the panic before I walked on stage, and the sneaky way my own brain turned on me when I started caring too much what everyone would think. If you've ever had a big opportunity land in your lap and felt yourself wanting to shrink back or turn it down, you'll see a lot of yourself in this. I get honest about what was really going on in my head, and the tiny decision at midnight that I almost didn't make. In this episode: What it actually felt like to prep for a 360-degree stage in another country with people watching from every angleThe moment stage fright turned into a full panic attack right before I walked onThe advice two seasoned coaches gave me that I decided to ignoreThe question that quietly hijacked my head and changed how I saw the whole thingWhat it feels like to worry that you're a fraud, and what I did with that fearHow to tell your own voice apart from the fear of what other people thinkWhat I do when I don't trust myself right before something big and scaryWhat I keep reminding myself about discomfort and the comfort zone when I want to quitThe midnight moment that almost didn't happen, and why I'm so glad it didIf you've ever turned down something you really wanted because you were scared of what people might think, this one's for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    17 min

  4. Jun 4

    Why Accepting Compliments Feels Like a Trap

    Text Jule :) If you can’t accept a compliment without downplaying it, deflecting it, or chalking the whole thing up to luck, this episode is for you. I sometimes do the same thing, and for a long time I had no idea why owning my own accomplishments felt safer to dodge than to just sit in. I trace it all the way back to a report card and what  my dad said when he finally looked at it. This episode shows why accepting compliments can feel like a trap, where that programming actually comes from, and how I’ve slowly learned to take the recognition in instead of shoving it away. I’ll walk you through the project I couldn’t pin on luck, and the simple thing I started doing that’s changing how I see myself. Topics covered in this episode: The Mean Girls scene that explains why saying “yes, thank you” can feel like a setupThe report card moment that taught me I wasn’t allowed to be proud of myselfWhy being good at something can feel physically dangerous long after you’ve left homeHow this showed up in my corporate career and in how I priced my own businessThe one client project I couldn’t write off as beginner’s luckOne simple habit I started that’s helping me actually believe I’m good at what I doHow to figure out your “special sauce,” which is usually the thing you keep brushing offIf you’ve got that one friend who rejects compliments like they’re allergic, this one’s for them too.   Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    14 min

  5. May 27

    How to Stay Calm When Everything Goes Wrong

    Text Jule :) Here's how I stopped overreacting when life falls apart, and why learning to stay calm under stress isn't a personality trait you're either born with or not.  I just spent three days trying to get home from Europe, and watching everyone melt down taught me a lot about how to stay calm when things go wrong. Flights got canceled, a plane got diverted, I caught food poisoning, and the whole time people were screaming at the staff. I used to be one of these people yelling at everyone, and somewhere this changed. If you know your reactions could be better, or you're walking on eggshells around someone who's always about to blow up, this one's for you. Topics in this episode: How a brand new woman at the airport went from listening to the angry guy to sorting out her own flight The metaphor I gave a client about what to do when it feels like it's raining shit on you The $600 assessment that showed me my own victim energy and anger energy on paper in 2021 Why most people land in either victim energy or anger when things go wrong, and why anger feels like the better option The one moment in three days of travel chaos that actually got me angry, and what set me off Why you change how you feel by changing how you react, not the other way around How to give your emotions enough room without wallowing in them Mentioned at the end: David Hawkins Map of Consciousness Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    19 min

  6. May 5

    Conflict Resolution: The Hidden Reason Someone Might Be Upset (Communication Skills 2)

    Text Jule :) If you’ve ever wondered how to de-escalate a conflict with someone who won’t let it go, or why your apology isn’t landing even when you mean it, this episode is going to give you a real answer. Most people try to fix the feeling, but the actual problem is almost always the thinking underneath it, and until you address the thought, nothing you say is going to move the needle. I walk through a real workshop scenario where the attendees roleplayed through a very common situation, and I show you which responses fell flat, which ones made things worse, and the one that finally worked. Then I get into the three approaches I use most often for conflict resolution at work and in relationships, including a technique I developed myself called coming to neutral. In this episode: The workshop scenario where four different apologies got four very different reactions, and what that tells you about how people actually process conflictThe one sentence that told me exactly which thought I needed to address, and how to spot this in your own hard conversationsHow to know whether to address someone’s emotions or their thinking firstThe accusation audit from Chris Voss, and how I use itThe technique I use with my clients to stop the wild emotional swings between positive and negative interpretationsWhy a reframe almost never works when emotions are still running high, and when it actually doesThe easy test I use to spot when someone’s thinking is the real problem in a conflictThis is part two of my communication mini series, so if you haven’t listened to part one yet, start there. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    14 min

  7. Apr 29

    How to Talk to Someone Who’s Emotional Without Making It Worse (Communication Skills 1)

    Text Jule :) Most of us mess up difficult or emotional conversations because we try to fix the wrong thing. Someone’s upset, and we hand them a fact, a logical explanation, a different perspective, and then we wonder why they get more frustrated or just shut down. (I’m guilty of doing this too.) In this episode I’m sharing my STEW framework (See, Think, Emotion, Words) and a really simple tool for handling someone who’s stuck in their emotions. It’s something I learned the painfully hard way after pissing off a lot of people, and it’s the difference between a conversation that actually goes somewhere and one where you both walk away annoyed. In this episode: The mom moment that made me realize I was treating emotional pain like it was a logic problemMy STEW framework and how to figure out where someone is actually stuckThe dead giveaway that tells you someone doesn’t need more information, they need something elseWhy people prefer feeling angry over feeling sad, and what that means for how you respondThe one tool that calms people down faster than almost anything elseThe mistake I see men make with women constantly that backfires every time This is Part 1 of 3 on how to handle someone stuck in their emotions. The next episode covers how to handle someone who’s stuck in their thinking. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    15 min

  8. Apr 15

    The Video I Made in 10 Minutes Beat Everything I Overcomplicated

    Text Jule :) A video I made in ten minutes beat the ones I spent hours on. That forced me to face something I didn’t want to admit: a lot of what I called “hard work” and “progress” was just overcomplicating the real work. In this episode: How I convinced myself that hours of production per video was "doing the work"The TikTok I rushed in ten minutes that got more views than anything I'd ever madeWhy my TikTok coach told me my setup was actually hurting my growthThe real reason I kept going back to the old way even after I had proof it wasn't workingWhat I call "the packaging" and why it felt so much safer than just hitting recordThe one question I ask myself now whenever I catch myself overcomplicating somethingWhat actually changed about how I feel on camera now, and what didn'tSupport the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

    10 min
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Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

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