This Is How You Think - Mindset Habits for Personal Growth

Jule Kim, Executive Coach
  • 5.0 (9)
  • Self-Improvement

Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

  1. 2d ago

    I Thought I Was an A*****e. Turns Out It Was Autism.

    Text Jule :) Late autism diagnosis in women can make you look back at your entire life and think, “Holy shit. How did nobody catch this? Who even am I?” I was diagnosed with autism a year and a half ago, but I’m only now beginning to understand what being autistic actually means for me. And learning about autism in women, masking autism, and autistic burnout has made a whole bunch of things from my past suddenly look very different. In this episode: signs of autism in women that can be missed for decadesgetting an autism diagnosis as an adultwhy I didn’t recognize many of my own autistic traitssensory issues and other autism traits I thought were just “me”struggling to read social cues and the unspoken rules everyone else seemed to understandmasking autism and learning to perform the “right” social behaviorsthe overlap between masking, people-pleasing, shame, and autistic burnoutwhat it’s like to rethink your identity after a late autism diagnosisIf you’re a late-diagnosed autistic woman, think you might be autistic, or have spent your life wondering why being a person sometimes seems harder for you than it does for everyone else, you’ll probably recognize yourself in this episode. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  2. Jul 30

    Peer Pressure at Work: When Being a Team Player Means Betraying Your Integrity

    Text Jule :) Compromising your values at work almost never feels like a big decision while it’s happening. It feels like keeping the peace, not making things weird with the people you sit next to every single day, and telling yourself it isn’t really your business anyway.   A friend of mine got asked to log fake test drives at the dealership where she works, and when she hesitated, her coworkers told her she was the reason nobody was hitting quota.   We talked through what integrity at work actually costs you when the whole team is already in on it, and how to say no to your coworkers without turning yourself into the difficult one. Most people hand their line over to somebody else at some point without ever noticing they did it.   Topics in this episode: The two very different reasons you might feel relieved after making a decision, and why one of them is a red flag Why “everybody else is doing it” and “the customers don’t mind” fall apart the second you look at them What staying quiet in a moment that actually matters does to your self-trust and your self-respect The difference between what’s right and what’s legal, and why people mix those two up constantly Why your coworkers don’t get to draw your line for you, even when they’re the ones covering your numbers Why fitting in at work and keeping your integrity can’t always both win, and what to do when both of them matter to you The two questions I give people when they can’t figure out what the right move is Something small that happened on a bus 15 years ago that I still think about Where my friend landed in the end, and why I wouldn’t recommend her approach to anybody  If you’ve ever gone along with something at work that didn’t sit right with you just to stay on good terms with everybody, this one’s for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  3. Jul 21

    When a Friend Keeps Letting You Down: Should You Stay or Go? (What Is a Friend part 3)

    Text Jule :) Knowing how to tell a friend they hurt you is a skill most of us never learned. So instead of setting boundaries with friends, we drop hints, make excuses for them, and let the resentment pile up. In this episode, I’m talking about how to actually say the thing you’ve been avoiding, and how to figure out whether you’re dealing with a toxic friendship or one that’s totally fixable. I’m also sharing a personal story about a friend who went missing on me during one of the hardest periods of my life, and what happened when I finally told her how I felt. I think ending a friendship should be a conscious choice you make with your eyes open, not something that happens by default while you simmer and eventually explode over. In this episode: The weird middle ground where a friend is just enough to keep around but also annoyingWhy “but I’ve known them for 20 years” is not a reason to keep quietThe two types of people who never actually say what’s bothering them, and how to know if you’re one of themWhat happened when I told a friend she wasn’t there for me after my parents’ car accidentThe line from Tulsa King I fully intend to use on someone somedayWhat to do when you’ve asked for change several times and nothing sticksThe trap of making someone else’s behavior mean something about your worthHow I’ve actually worded it when it was time to part ways with a friend This is part 3 of my What Is a Friend? series, so if you missed the first two episodes, here are the links: 1. What is a Friend? Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels So Hard 2. Adult Friendships: Why that Friendship Feels One-Sided Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  4. Jul 8

    Adult Friendships: Why that Friendship Feels One-Sided (What Is a Friend part 2)

    Text Jule :) I get asked about adult friendships A LOT, like why it’s so hard to make friends, why some friends are so difficult, or why some friends keep disappointing us. Most of the advice out there talks about good communication, having the same values, and letting go of expectations, but I think this angst about friends centers around friendship compatibility. Compatibility in a friendship goes back to questions we never really sit down and answer, which is what is a friend to me, and are all my friends actually the right kind of friend. In my own case, for a long time I treated everybody the same, which is where most of my problems came from. So in this part 2 episode on friendship (listen to part one What Is a Friend) I get into friendship tiers, aka levels of friendship, because once I had those, I stopped handing all of myself to people who didn't want that from me, and I felt a whole lot less used.  Topics covered in this episode: The five year friendship where I finally clocked that I was doing all the reaching out Why lumping everyone into the same friendship level set me up to feel let down How friendships by circumstance doesn’t mean you’re compatible to be long-term friends The check-in with myself when I don't feel good after hanging out a friendLetting go of a friend, ghosting vs downgrading The way I think about friends who come and go now, and why I’m at peace This is the second episode in my “What is a Friend” series.  Here’s part one: What is a Friend? Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels So Hard and part three: When a Friend Keeps Letting You Down: Should You Stay or Go? Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  5. Jul 1

    The Rainbows in Grief: What I'm Feeling One Year After Losing My Brother

    Text Jule :) This episode is about grief showing up in your body, why your feelings can hit long before your mind understands why, and how a grief anniversary can knock you flat a year later when you think you’re finally okay. In this episode: Why you feel sad or low for no reason and can’t figure out why What a grief anniversary reaction actually feels like from the inside How your body keeps score of a date your mind has moved past What grief can look like a year after losing someone you love The fear that almost stopped me from talking about any of this My favorite memories of my brother and who he was If you’ve ever felt completely off and had no idea why, this one’s for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  6. Jun 24

    Quit the Negative Self-Talk ASAP: The Science Behind How Your Words Create Your Reality

    Text Jule :) Despite all the negative self-talk running in my head, for years I figured the whole “watch your words” thing was a load of bullsh*t.    Then about three years ago I came across research showing that emotions have a recipe, and it was a total light bulb moment for me.    So in this episode I’m breaking down the actual science of how the words you use shape what you feel, and how learning to control your emotions starts with paying attention to how you describe what’s happening to you. I’ll keep the mechanics simple, I promise.    In this episode: The saying I dismissed as a kid and why I finally bought into it three years ago The story of my photo getting stolen and how one sentence flipped me from mildly annoyed to full-blown rage Dr. Kristen Lindquist’s research showing that emotions have a recipe My potter’s wheel analogy Why it’s so important to use the right labels for what you’re thinking and feelingThe negative phrases I used to say to myself constantly and how I broke the habit A simple exercise for picking one phrase to swap out, and the friends-and-family trick for figuring out which one  If you tend to spiral when something hard happens and you can’t seem to talk yourself back out of it, this one’s for you. Related episode on how to change your thoughts: I was Toxic. Here's What Changed My Negative Mindset Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  7. Jun 17

    The First Step to Confidence (Real Work My Coaching Clients Do)

    Text Jule :) How to build real confidence is one of the most common goals people come to me for, and the truth is that it starts with self-trust, not with the affirmation cards and power poses you find on Google. The real work is excavating your past to find a belief you keep carrying that isn’t true. I share the story of how my dad spent my childhood telling me my voice was annoying, and how that one belief got so loud in my head that I ignored dozens of podcast invitations for years because I was too ashamed to be heard. I walk you through the day when it finally shifted for me, and the small first action that took me from never appearing on podcasts to guesting on over 50 shows. Topics covered in this episode: Why affirmations, power poses, and feel-good quotes are not the actual work of building confidenceHow growing up emotionally repressed shaped the way I handled, or really didn’t handle, my own mental healthWhy we believe the things our parents tell us about ourselves, even when those things aren’t trueThe real first step to confidence, and it’s not what most of the personal development space sells youHow shame thrives in the dark and why saying it out loud is one of the best ways to dispel itThe exact message I’d send to make amends for something I avoided for yearsHow to pick a first action that’s big or small enough for wherever you actually are right nowWhy taking that one step becomes the proof you need to take the next oneIf your self-esteem has been spiraling and you just want one place to start, this one’s for you. If you liked this episode, also check out episode 2: How to Build Confidence that Actually Lasts from Oct 30, 2025. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

  8. Jun 10

    The One Question That Stops Self-Sabotage

    Text Jule :) Okay, so this is me pulling back the curtain on the public speaking anxiety and self-doubt that almost made me say no to the biggest talk of my career. I'm taking you through the whole mental spiral, the panic before I walked on stage, and the sneaky way my own brain turned on me when I started caring too much what everyone would think. If you've ever had a big opportunity land in your lap and felt yourself wanting to shrink back or turn it down, you'll see a lot of yourself in this. I get honest about what was really going on in my head, and the tiny decision at midnight that I almost didn't make. In this episode: What it actually felt like to prep for a 360-degree stage in another country with people watching from every angleThe moment stage fright turned into a full panic attack right before I walked onThe advice two seasoned coaches gave me that I decided to ignoreThe question that quietly hijacked my head and changed how I saw the whole thingWhat it feels like to worry that you're a fraud, and what I did with that fearHow to tell your own voice apart from the fear of what other people thinkWhat I do when I don't trust myself right before something big and scaryWhat I keep reminding myself about discomfort and the comfort zone when I want to quitThe midnight moment that almost didn't happen, and why I'm so glad it didIf you've ever turned down something you really wanted because you were scared of what people might think, this one's for you. Support the show Interested in coaching with Jule? LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekim Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

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Here's how to stop doing the stupid sh*t you know is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing.This Is How You Think breaks down the emotional patterns keeping you stuck, using analytical precision to help you understand exactly what's happening in your mind - and what to do about it. Perfect for high-achieving women who feel like they're falling apart, constantly experiencing emotional highs and lows, or constantly put everyone else first.  Host Jule Kim - certified professional executive coach, imposter syndrome specialist, and author of Self-Love Affirmations - combines legal reasoning with psychological insight to decode why you do what you do, especially when it makes no logical sense. This podcast tackles real challenges like:How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty Why you sabotage your own success (and how to stop) Setting boundaries that actually stick Dealing with imposter syndrome and building real confidence Breaking free from family patterns and cultural expectations Emotional regulation when everything feels out of control ...and more This podcast showcases a unique approach to mindset to help you learn to recognize your patterns, understand their origins, and actually change them.  Move from self-doubt to self-acceptance, and ultimately to the confidence and resilience you deserve. Whether you're navigating workplace dynamics, family relationships, or your own inner critic, This Is How You Think gives you the tools to understand yourself at the deepest level and create lasting change. New episodes weekly. Subscribe now and start understanding how you tick.

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