Burn The Rulebook Podcast: Real Talk On Menopause Mental, Health & Relationships

Rachel Boyle
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected in midlife? You’re not broken—you’re in perimenopause or menopause. I’m Rachel Boyle, licensed therapist and sex therapy specialist, here to help you understand what’s happening to your hormones, mental health, libido, and relationships. Each week, I break down the real impact of menopause, perimenopause, people-pleasing, and emotional labor—plus how to reclaim your sex life, voice, and sanity. Subscribe for honest, therapy-informed episodes made for midlife women.

  1. Jul 1

    When Sex Hurts: Breaking the Silence on Womens Sexual Health

    Summary: In this episode, Dr. Sameena Rahman discusses the cultural, biological, and psychological factors affecting women's sexual health, especially in South Asian communities. She shares insights on overcoming stigma, the impact of hormonal transitions, and practical solutions for improving sexual well-being. Dr. Rahman's Socials: Website - http://www.cgcchicago.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gynogirl/ Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6jwM1hb4xwiBrEJHJKAiU4 Link to Dr. Rahman's book "Brown Girls’ Disease"?: A Guide to Sexual Health and Empowerment Through a South Asian Lens - https://www.amazon.com/Brown-Girls-Disease-Empowerment-Through-ebook/dp/B0GX3435CG Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Sameena Rahman 02:14 Exploring 'Brown Girls Disease' and Sexual Dysfunction 06:14 Cultural Influences on Sexual Health 10:58 Biopsychosocial Approach to Sexual Health 17:12 Hormonal Changes and Their Impact on Sexual Function 20:48 The Importance of Pleasure and Education 25:41 Empowerment Through Knowledge and Advocacy 26:34 The Challenges of the Healthcare System 29:32 Gender Disparities in Medical Treatment 31:30 Understanding Women's Health Issues 35:27 The Impact of Stress on Women's Health 39:24 Navigating Relationships and Health 43:54 Empowerment Through Knowledge and Community Takeaways: Cultural influences on women's sexual healthHormonal changes during menopause and postpartumMedical bias and stigma in women's healthPelvic floor dysfunction and sexual painEmpowerment through education and community Keywords: women's health, sexual dysfunction, South Asian culture, menopause, pelvic floor, sexual empowerment, medical bias, hormonal changes, stigma, women's wellness

  2. Apr 10

    Dr. O'Sullivan

    Summary: In this episode of the Burn the Rollbook podcast, Dr. Aoife O'Sullivan of discusses the critical need for better education and awareness around menopause and perimenopause. She shares her journey as a family physician and menopause specialist, highlighting the lack of training in medical schools and the importance of informed consent and patient advocacy. The conversation emphasizes the emotional and physical challenges women face during this transition and the necessity of finding supportive healthcare providers. Dr. O'Sullivan also discusses the role of hormone replacement therapy, the impact of community support, and the upcoming retreat aimed at empowering women through shared experiences and knowledge. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Menopause Advocacy 01:08 The Lack of Menopause Training in Medical Education 04:07 Challenges in Finding Qualified Healthcare Providers 07:38 Resources for Women Seeking Menopause Care 10:08 Identifying Red Flags in Healthcare Providers 12:22 The Importance of Community Recommendations 14:28 The Role of Organizations in Menopause Education 16:37 Personal Journeys into Menopause Advocacy 20:35 The Impact of Hormone Therapy on Quality of Life 24:09 Understanding Hormone Replacement Therapy 30:17 Navigating Perimenopause and Menstrual Changes 35:26 Understanding Menopause: The Individual Experience 40:27 The Importance of Hormone Therapy 46:28 Navigating Relationships During Menopause 52:26 Building Community: The Power of Connection 01:02:00 The Dusty Muffins Podcast: Empowering Women 01:03:49 Trusting Your Body: A Call to Action Takeaways: The current model of women's healthcare is outdated and failing women.Medical training often lacks adequate education on menopause.Women are increasingly educating themselves about menopause.Finding a supportive healthcare provider is crucial for managing menopause symptoms.Community support plays a vital role in navigating menopause.Hormone replacement therapy can significantly improve quality of life.Emotional symptoms during perimenopause are often overlooked.SSRIs can be effective in managing menopause-related anxiety and depression.Women should trust their bodies and advocate for their health needs.The importance of creating a supportive community for women during menopause. Keywords: menopause, perimenopause, hormone therapy, women's health, menopause education, mental health, community support, healthcare providers, women's empowerment, menopause retreat

  3. Mar 17

    Royal College of Psychiatrists Position Statement on Menopause and Mental Health

    Summary:Rachel Boyle discusses the recent Royal College of Psychiatrists' position statement on menopause and mental health, highlighting gaps in awareness, healthcare, and the importance of education and support for women in midlife.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Menopause Awareness06:22 Healthcare System Gaps and SolutionsTakeaways:• Women should start menopause screening in their late 30s to catch symptoms early.• Misdiagnosis of menopause symptoms as anxiety or depression is common due to diagnostic overshadowing.• Using SSRIs alone does not address menopause symptoms; combined with hormone therapy yields better outcomes.• Women in midlife face compounded stressors including career, family, and aging, which affect mental health.• Education and accessible information are crucial for women to understand and manage menopause effectively.Keywords:menopause, mental health, healthcare gaps, menopause awareness, hormone therapy, perimenopause, menopause stigma, women's health, mental health support, menopause education

  4. Feb 12

    Why Buy the Cow?: How Purity Culture Hijacks Women’s Desire and Voice

    Summary: In this episode of the Burn the Rulebook podcast, Rachel Boyle delves into the detrimental effects of purity culture on women's desires and voices. She discusses how societal and religious messages shape women's perceptions of their bodies, sexuality, and self-worth from a young age. The conversation explores the conditioning that leads women to feel obligated to provide sex in relationships, often resulting in pressure, resentment, and disconnection. Boyle emphasizes the importance of reclaiming one's sense of self and learning to communicate about intimacy in a mutual and shame-free manner. Chapters: 00:00 Understanding Purity Culture's Impact 10:23 Sex as a Transaction: The Marketplace Model 15:02 BRB outro__ jun 20, 2025 001_audio_only studio.wav Takeaways: • Purity culture shapes women's beliefs about their bodies and desires. • Messages about sexuality often teach women to monitor themselves constantly. • Desire is often treated as risky or sinful in purity culture. • Women may feel obligated to provide sex to maintain relationships. • Sexuality is often viewed as a bargaining chip in relationships. • Purity culture creates pressure and resentment around intimacy. • Healthy boundaries can feel like betrayal for women conditioned to be selfless. • Consent should be viewed as a relationship skill, not just a rule. • Healing involves reclaiming one's sense of self and body. • Women need to learn to express their desires and needs in relationships. Keywords: purity culture, women's desire, intimacy, sexual health, self-worth, relationships, emotional safety, consent, body image, healing

  5. Feb 5

    Boys Lose Feelings, Girls Lose Voice—Then We Call It “Relationship Problems”

    Summary: In this episode, Rachel Boyle explores the emotional disconnects that arise in relationships due to cultural conditioning and patriarchy. She discusses how boys and girls are socialized differently, leading to men losing their emotional fluency and women losing their voice. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster intimacy and connection in adult relationships, and offers insights on reclaiming emotional expression and communication skills. Chapters: 00:00 Understanding Emotional Disconnects in Relationships 11:45 The Impact of Patriarchy on Communication 18:53 Reclaiming Emotional Fluency and Voice Takeaways: • Boys start out emotionally tuned in but lose this as they grow. • Girls are outspoken in childhood but become people pleasers later. • Patriarchy shapes how both genders express emotions and voice. • Men struggle with emotional vulnerability due to societal conditioning. • Women often over-explain and apologize to maintain relationships. • The hidden curriculum in schools teaches boys and girls different lessons. • Intimacy requires both emotional access and a clear voice. • Couples often fall into predictable traps due to these dynamics. • Reclaiming emotional fluency is possible in adulthood. • Relationships can be a space to challenge and change patriarchal norms. Keywords: emotions, relationships, patriarchy, communication, emotional fluency, gender roles, intimacy, Carol Gilligan, voice training, cultural conditioning

  6. Jan 27

    Why Women Struggle to Ask for What They Want: Finding Your Voice in Love and Sex

    SummaryIn this episode of the Burn the Rule Book podcast, Rachel Boyle discusses the phenomenon of perimenopause and its impact on women's relationships and behaviors, particularly the shift away from people pleasing. She explores how hormonal changes during this stage can lead to increased irritability and a decreased tolerance for traditional societal expectations. Rachel emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, effective communication, and embracing the changes that come with perimenopause as a path to empowerment and healthier relationships.Chapters00:00 Understanding Perimenopause and People Pleasing09:42 Navigating the Shift: From People Pleasing to Authenticity12:46 Tools for Healthy Communication and Boundaries17:28 Embracing Change: The Path to Empowerment19:06 BRB outro__ jun 20, 2025 001_audio_only studio.wavTakeaways• Perimenopause can change how women show up in relationships.• People pleasing is an unconscious survival strategy for many women.• Cultural expectations often pressure women to prioritize others' needs over their own.• Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause can lead to mood swings and irritability.• Women often internalize societal norms that dictate their behavior.• The shift away from people pleasing can lead to personal empowerment.• Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.• Effective communication involves switching from complaints to requests.• Cherishing and appreciating partners fosters a supportive relationship environment.• Embracing the changes of perimenopause can lead to profound personal growth.Keywordsperimenopause, people pleasing, relationships, boundaries, assertiveness, hormonal changes, communication, empowerment, mental health, women's health

  7. Jan 22

    Why Women Enjoy Sex Less

    Summary: In this episode of the Burn the Rule Book podcast, Rachel Boyle delves into the complexities surrounding women's sexual experiences, highlighting how societal norms and cultural scripts often lead to dissatisfaction and stress during sex. She emphasizes that the default cultural narrative surrounding sex is predominantly male-oriented, leaving women with a skewed understanding of their own pleasure and agency. Boyle discusses the concept of the 'sexual script'—the unspoken guidelines that dictate sexual behavior—and how these scripts are shaped by various influences, including family, community, and media. Rachel further explores the 'pleasure gap' and 'orgasm gap' between heterosexual men and women, revealing that women often experience fewer orgasms due to a lack of understanding and focus on their pleasure. She addresses the normalization of discomfort during sex and the performance pressure women feel, which detracts from their ability to enjoy intimate moments. By redefining what constitutes sex and encouraging open communication about pleasure, Boyle advocates for a more fulfilling sexual experience for women, urging listeners to seek professional help if they encounter pain or discomfort during sex. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Women's Sexual Experiences 09:50 The Risks Women Face in Sexual Encounters Takeaways: • 'Many women don't have a pleasure problem; they have a script problem.' • 'The goal is pleasure, not just orgasm.' • 'Sex is not supposed to hurt.' • 'Redefine what counts as sex beyond P in the V.' • 'Most men want their partners to feel good.' Keywords: women's sexual health, pleasure gap, orgasm gap, sexual scripts, intimacy issues, cultural norms, sex therapy, women's pleasure, sexual satisfaction, relationship dynamics

  8. Jan 14

    Painful Sex, Dryness, “UTIs,” and Perimenopause: It Might Be GSM

    Summary: In this episode of the Burn the Rulebook podcast, Rachel Boyle discusses the often-overlooked topic of Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM), which can lead to painful sex, dryness, and urinary issues during perimenopause and menopause. She emphasizes the importance of understanding GSM, its impact on intimate relationships, and the need for proper treatment and communication between partners. Rachel provides insights into treatment options, including hormonal and non-hormonal therapies, and encourages women to seek help rather than suffer in silence. Chapters: 00:00 Understanding Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) 09:33 Navigating Relationships and Intimacy During GSM Takeaways: ● GSM is often misunderstood and can affect relationships. ● Pain during sex is not normal and should be addressed. ● Women often withdraw from intimacy due to pain, leading to relationship issues. ● Communication with partners about discomfort is crucial. ● There are effective treatments for GSM that many women are unaware of. ● Localized estrogen therapy can help rebuild vaginal tissue. ● Pelvic floor therapy can address underlying issues causing pain. ● Women should not feel embarrassed to discuss sexual health concerns. ● The recent removal of the black box warning on estrogen is significant. ● Seeking professional help is essential for improving sexual health. Keywords: genitourinary syndrome, menopause, painful sex, relationship, treatment, intimacy, pelvic floor therapy, estrogen therapy, communication, women's health

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Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected in midlife? You’re not broken—you’re in perimenopause or menopause. I’m Rachel Boyle, licensed therapist and sex therapy specialist, here to help you understand what’s happening to your hormones, mental health, libido, and relationships. Each week, I break down the real impact of menopause, perimenopause, people-pleasing, and emotional labor—plus how to reclaim your sex life, voice, and sanity. Subscribe for honest, therapy-informed episodes made for midlife women.

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