Let's Take Care - Support for Carers of Disabled Children and Young Adults

Jane Holmes and Melissa Paulden
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Melissa and Jane have been caring for their daughters for over 20 years, helping them to lead hugely successful lives. But they've made some mistakes along the way, and learnt a lot. Or, learnt the hard way.  They've been tired, burnt out, broke, ignored, isolated - yet still expected to keep going.   Let's Take Care is their way of helping other carers of disabled children feel less alone - and more equipped to cope with the realities of care that no one talks about.  In each episode they'll talk about the emotional and mental weight of lifelong care - what it's like to fight the system constantly and how to survive practically, emotionally, physically.  They'll be sharing what they wish they knew 20 years ago ... and hoping to make you laugh as well.

Episodes

  1. 3D AGO

    Episode 9: Practical tips to help parent carers - before there’s a crisis

    Send us Fan Mail One cancelled care shift can wipe out a whole day. Parent carers often seem able to do it all -  because they have to, but that can make friends, family, and professionals assume they can cope without them, and because of that, sometimes, people let them down. Caring for a child with profound disabilities is not just “busy”. It is a constant mix of medical needs, physical lifting, education battles, and the emotional weight of being the only person who truly knows what “normal” looks like for your child.  In this episode Melissa and Jane discuss what "help" really looks like when you're mum to a disabled child, and how friends, family and even strangers can lighten the load.   They talk about why asking for help can feel impossible when your child has complex medical needs, and why respite care can be something you desperately need yet still dread.  If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing a break or judged for not taking one, you’re not alone. Listen now for real-life tips for supporting parent carers, and a clearer picture of what “showing up” really means. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this conversation, and leave us a review with the kind of help you wish people offered more often. #ParentCarer #CarerLife #Caregiving #DisabilityAwareness #SpecialNeedsParent #SENDParent #ComplexNeeds #DisabilitySupport #InvisibleLoad #ChronicCare  #YouAreNotAlone #RealTalk #HonestMotherhood #MentalLoad #CaregiverBurnout #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #ParentingReality #UnseenStruggles  #SupportMatters #ShowUp #CommunitySupport #HelpingOthers #BeThere #StrongerTogether #KindnessCounts https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    43 min

  2. MAR 1

    Episode 8: How being a carer changes you forever

    Send us Fan Mail When you've seen your child almost die numerous times and you've been living on your nerves for years, your priorities change. You change. Forever. Friendships lapse and new friendships form - forged through common hardships. In this episode of Let's Take Care, mums Jane and Melissa discuss how handling their daughters' illnesses has shaped them. The two friends explain how trauma has changed their take on life - but they wouldn't have it any other way. In their usual warm and witty way, Mel and Jane's love and compassion shines through as they talk about their experiences and offer support for other parents of children and young people with disabilities.  https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    38 min

  3. FEB 1

    Episode 7: The power of laughter when you're a carer

    Send us Fan Mail The runaway wheelchair and the havoc of the hoist!  Jane and Melissa look on the bright side in this episode of Let's Take Care, as they remind us laughter really is the best medicine, especially if you're the carer of a young adult or child with disabilities. The pressure of being a full-time carer is immense and the two mums discuss how looking back on disasters with a smile has helped them face many challenges.  Mel reveals how she put a ghastly social worker in his place and Jane tells us about a toy of Kitty's that went rogue. This episode is sure to put a smile on your face, whether you're a parent carer or not - and there's help for people who don't know how to act around people with disabilities. #ParentingADisabledChild #DisabilityParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #CarerSupport #ParentCarers #CarerLife #TiredParentsClub #CaregiverSupport #ParentingJourney #InvisibleLoad #newyeartips #selfcaretips  https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    44 min

  4. JAN 1

    Episode 6: Health tips for carers

    Send us Fan Mail Being a carer can take a mental and physical toll.  In this New Year episode Jane and Melissa talk about how over the years, they sacrificed their health as they prioritised their children - and why they wished they hadn't. Melissa opens up about her cancer, and Jane talks about her heart condition. The two mums share their tips on staying healthy, and they discuss how looking after themselves has made them better parents and partners.   From sound baths to country walks, this episode is full of practical tips plus, as always, plenty of laughs. #ParentingADisabledChild #DisabilityParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #CarerSupport #ParentCarers #CarerLife #TiredParentsClub #CaregiverSupport #ParentingJourney #InvisibleLoad #newyeartips #selfcaretips  https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    1h 2m

  5. 12/01/2025

    Episode 5: Sir Ed Davey shares his story about caring for his disabled son

    Send us Fan Mail Being Leader of the Liberal Democrat Party hasn't stopped Sir Ed Davey from taking care of his disabled son. In this frank, compassionate and at times, witty discussion Sir Ed talks fondly about his family and the challenges of being a parent carer. Caring for a loved one has been a way of life for Sir Ed who first took on caring responsibilities as a child. Join Jane and Melissa in this intimate, no holds barred chat. #EdDavey #LiberalDemocrats #ParentCarer #CaringForCarers #CarersVoices #DisabilityParenting #FamilyFirst #PoliticalLife #CarerLife #CaregiversJourney #DisabilityAwareness #InConversation #PodcastInterview #RealStories #HumanSideOfPolitics #CompassionInAction #CaringResponsibilities #letstakecare #HonestChat #LeadershipAndLife https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    47 min

  6. 11/01/2025

    Episode 4: What we hate about being carers (and it's not our kids!)

    Send us Fan Mail Being a carer for a young adult with profound disabilities is tough - but it's not our children that make it hard - they're a blessing. It's the system that puts carers under constant pressure. In this episode Melissa and Jane share their greatest frustrations and discuss the many difficulties families face when they're caring for a child with disabilities. This episode is a tongue-in-cheek glimpse at the worries caused by the seemingly never-ending bureaucracy that weighs them down.  As always, Melissa and Jane manage to look on the bright side as they rage against the machine. Whether you're a carer or not, you can't fail to be touched by this insightful episode of Let's Take Care. Plus...the two mums reveal details of a very special guest who's lined up for the next episode. #ParentingADisabledChild #DisabilityParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #CarerSupport #ParentCarers #CarerLife #TiredParentsClub #CaregiverSupport #ParentingJourney #InvisibleLoad https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    51 min

  7. 09/30/2025

    Episode 3: Handling relationships when your child is disabled

    Send us Fan Mail What do you do when friends and family offer unhelpful advice when you're the parent of a child with a disabilities? How can you protect your marriage or partnership from the strain of overwhelming tiredness and never-ending responsibilities when you are caring for your child twenty-four hours a day? These are some of the questions Jane and Melissa address in this episode of Let's Take Care - the podcast that supports carers of disabled children. Listen in on their heartfelt conversation as the two mums talk about their experiences and offer insights for others in similar situations. There's also a advice for listeners without disabled children, on how best to help. #ParentingADisabledChild #DisabilityParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #CarerSupport #ParentCarers #CarerLife #TiredParentsClub #CaregiverSupport #ParentingJourney #InvisibleLoad https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    43 min

  8. 09/01/2025

    Episode 2: The Invisible Load

    Send us Fan Mail Why a simple “How are you?” can feel impossible to answer when you're the parent of a child with disabilities.  Jane and Melissa unpack the weight carers carry — the mental, emotional, and physical toll — and why society rarely sees or acknowledges it. Feel seen and supported in this thought-provoking episode with tips on how to handle the invisible load. Whether you’re a carer yourself or want to better understand the experience, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and less alone. #PodcastEpisode #LetsTakeCarePodcast #ParentingADisabledChild #SpecialNeedsParenting #CaregiverSupport #InvisibleLoad #MentalLoad #CarerLife #ParentCarers #EmotionalLabor #UnseenStruggles #SupportCarers #DisabilityParenting #HowAreYouReally #CaregiverBurnout #SeenAndHeard https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    38 min

  9. 08/01/2025

    Episode 1: Staying positive after having a disabled baby: Jane and Melissas’ stories

    Send us Fan Mail Unexpectedly giving birth to a baby with disabilities can change the course of your life. In this episode Jane and  Melissa share their birth stories and talk us through the challenges they faced when their babies were born with complications. We hear about the mental, physical and psychological toll of raising children with profound disabilities. Jane and Melissa offer advice for other parents following in their footsteps, such as how to find your tribe, how to get  the help you need and how to stay positive against the odds. Above all, the two mums offer a message of hope and show how joy can be found in living with and loving children with disabilities. https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    43 min

  10. 07/09/2025

    Trailer

    Send us Fan Mail https://www.bftf.org.uk/ Email us at: letstakecare@bftf.org.uk #DisabilityAwareness #ChronicIllness #HiddenDisability #SENDParent #AdditionalNeeds #SpecialNeedsParent #DisabilityCommunity #InclusiveFamilies #CarersUK

    2 min
  • 10 Episodes

About

Melissa and Jane have been caring for their daughters for over 20 years, helping them to lead hugely successful lives. But they've made some mistakes along the way, and learnt a lot. Or, learnt the hard way.  They've been tired, burnt out, broke, ignored, isolated - yet still expected to keep going.   Let's Take Care is their way of helping other carers of disabled children feel less alone - and more equipped to cope with the realities of care that no one talks about.  In each episode they'll talk about the emotional and mental weight of lifelong care - what it's like to fight the system constantly and how to survive practically, emotionally, physically.  They'll be sharing what they wish they knew 20 years ago ... and hoping to make you laugh as well.

Information