f*ck i love you

Long form dialogues on futures worth living in. jenniferangelamcrae.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 09/17/2025

    OnlyFans, AI Companions & The Relationship Apocalypse

    In this raw and intellectually intimate conversation, Jeffrey James and Jenn McRae dive deep into the crisis of connection, exploring how transactional approaches to relationships are fueling a pandemic of loneliness. They examine how OnlyFans, AI companions, and other technological "solutions" reflect our collective failure to build and maintain the muscles of relationality in a culture that systematically undermines human connection.This conversation is part of an ongoing exploration of love ethics, relationality, and how we might rebuild our collective capacity for meaningful connection in an increasingly transactional world. It's a passionate call to recognize that our loneliness crisis isn't a technology problem—it's a cultural one that demands we cultivate new ways of being together. *** 00:01:01 Origin Story: When Jenn and Jeffrey First Met Our hosts share their personal history, tracing back to their first encounter in 2011 at the "blue house" in Vancouver and how their relationship has evolved over 15 years from romantic partners to the deep friendship they share today. 05:40 From Partners to "Core People": Evolution Beyond Traditional Labels Jeffrey and Jenn discuss the limitations of the word "friend" to describe their relationship and reflect on how they've maintained a meaningful connection that transcends conventional relationship categories. 09:06 Fierce Abiding Love: Jeffrey's Love Ethics Jeffrey shares his philosophy of "fierce abiding love" - a practice of staying present through conflict, offering benefit of the doubt, and maintaining generosity of spirit even when relationships get challenging. 14:00 The Friendship Crisis Among Men Jeffrey reveals a troubling pattern from his therapeutic practice: how many successful men have zero friends and no place to process difficult emotions outside their romantic partnerships. 18:15 The Loneliness Pandemic: A $400 Billion Problem Jenn shares research on how loneliness affects one in six people globally, contributing to 100 deaths per hour and economic costs exceeding $400 billion annually in the US alone. 19:28 Transactional vs. Relational Engagement The hosts explore how transactional approaches to human connection—whether with chatbots or other humans—create loneliness, while relational approaches activate our social engagement systems and promote wellbeing. 23:14 The Rat Park Experiment: Connection as Antidote to Addiction Jeffrey uses the famous Rat Park experiment to illustrate how properly nourished social connections make us less susceptible to addictive behaviors, whether those are substances or technological "solutions" to loneliness. 26:37 A Future Worth Living In: Jeffrey's Radical Imagination In closing, Jeffrey shares his vision for a future worth living in—one with deeper connections, devotion to something larger than ourselves, and a commitment to being connected over being right. ***About the Hosts Jenn McRae is a writer and transformation strategist practicing in Victoria, BC, Canada. jenniferangelamcrae.substack.com thepermissionlessprof.substack.comJeffrey James is a psychoterapist and soul guide practicing in Boulder, Colorado, USA. jeffreyjames.coach jeffreyjames676896.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jenniferangelamcrae.substack.com

    44 min
  2. 07/14/2025

    It’s Not Your Fault: The Impossibility of Individual Solutions to Urgency Culture

    This is a recording of a talk I gave at Big Bear Retreat Centre, July 9 2025. The talk shifts focus from individual systems to the larger systemic pressures that create overwhelming stress in our lives. Introduced by Amrita Ahuja Groundwork CEO and founder, the conversation begins by acknowledging "the Impossible Task" —the reality that we are consistently asked to do more than is humanly possible, and that the resulting feeling of failure is not your fault. When Amrita passes me (Jenn McRae) the mic, I frame our current moment as a massive "historical transformation" , the "death rattle" of old systems that are no longer working. This forces a distinction between simple change and true transformation, which requires a breakdown of the old way of doing things as new ones are being built. We talk about how these dying systems manifest as "urgency culture" within our organizations, creating environments where individual efforts to find peace and balance are often rejected by a "cultural immune system" set to crisis. The speakers explore how our individual autonomy eventually hits the limit of the system we're in. The antidote proposed is a return to "relational practice" and a courageous willingness, especially from leadership, to "throw out the rule book" and create new, more humane ways of being and working together. This is a call to action to recognize the crisis, reject personal blame, and begin the work of birthing a new world. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jenniferangelamcrae.substack.com

    32 min

About

Long form dialogues on futures worth living in. jenniferangelamcrae.substack.com

More From f*ck i love you