Ethiopian Adoptees | Unapologetically Unfiltered

Lidet O'Connor
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Ethiopian Adoptees: Unapologetically Unfiltered is a podcast by and for Ethiopian adoptees navigating the long aftermath of intercountry adoption. Hosted by Lidet O’Connor, the podcast centers adoptee voices without romanticizing adoption or softening harm. Through solo episodes and conversations with other Ethiopian adoptees, it explores identity, grief, systemic failure, survival, responsibility, and the realities adoption leaves behind. This is a place to listen, reflect, and to remember that your experience is real and worthy of being named. A podcast. A community. An archive in progress.

  1. Jun 24

    Rediet: Feeling Like a Disruption (Part 2)

    In this second part of the interview, Rediet shares the jarring reality of being brought into a white American home that already felt "completed." She describes her arrival not as a smooth integration, but as a "disruption" to an seemingly established family dynamic, where she often felt like a guest in her own bedroom or a "puppy" whose initial novelty eventually wore off. From the physical pain of her first winter to the uncomfortable silence of suburban life, she reflects on the profound grief of losing her mother, her language, and her culture, all while her adoptive parents operated under a "colorblind" philosophy that left her completely unprepared for the racial realities of the world. We also dive into the systemic failures of international adoption, which we candidly characterizes as a form of child trafficking due to the frequent loss of vital documentation and the lack of informed consent from biological families back in Ethiopia. She opens up about the "survival instinct" she developed at a young age, realizing she had to navigate a world where her parents could quite literally never understand her experience. It wasn't until she found community with other Black women, from her first Black friend in eighth grade to the hairdressers who restored her confidence, that she began to process the visceral racial trauma of her upbringing and reclaim the identity that had been suppressed for years.

    41 min

  2. Jun 11

    Rediet: Good Girls Don’t Get Their Heads Shaved (Part 1)

    In this episode (Part 1 of 3), I sit down with Rediet, a fellow Ethiopian adoptee, and we go back to the beginning of her story in Addis Ababa, where she was raised by loving, strong women and remember a childhood full of community and joy. We talk about losing her mother, the sudden move to an orphanage she didn’t understand was coming, and the survival instincts she developed at just four years old. She shares what it was like to receive a photo book of “random white people” who later showed up to take her to America, and how the reality of leaving truly hit when her grandmother came to say goodbye. We unpack being labeled “difficult” for acting out during an unimaginable transition and how trauma in adoptees is so often misunderstood. The conversation gets real about white saviorism, international adoption, and the entitlement built into the system. It’s the type of honest and reflective dialogue we both wish we had heard growing up.

    38 min

  3. May 7

    Billy Birhan Desalegn: The Interpreter of Broken Promises (Part 2)

    INTERVIEW WITH BILLY - PART 2 I had the honor of sitting down with my dear friend Billy, also known as Billy Birhan Desalegn, in this deeply moving interview. Billy is a professional tour guide from Addis Ababa who unexpectedly began working in one of the most emotionally complex spaces in Ethiopia, the hidden reality of adoptee returns and reunification. After the crises of COVID-19 and the war in northern Ethiopia disrupted tourism, Billy transitioned from guiding visitors through Ethiopia’s historic sites to supporting adoptees and adoptive families returning in search of truth, family, and belonging. Instead, he stepped into a world far removed from scenic tours and shaped by the exploitation of Ethiopian families, grief, broken promises, and impossible expectations. Billy shares the haunting moment that changed everything for him, meeting a young Ethiopian adoptee who, despite being seen as “lucky” enough to live in the West with “everything,” was deeply silent and visibly unhappy. That experience transformed how he understood adoption. He realized his role was no longer just to translate, but to translate between decades of lies that agencies sold to biological families, the reality of adoptee lives abroad, and the painful truths no one wanted to acknowledge or fix. He also addresses the damage caused by white adoptive parents when they enter vulnerable communities with gifts, money, and performative generosity, only to disappear and leave biological families carrying the social consequences. Billy speaks candidly about the overwhelming expectations placed on returning adoptees and the emotional weight of translating through systemic failures. What makes Billy so special is his humanity and his commitment to his morals and values. He shares how he has cried alongside adoptees, protected them from exploitation, and helped guide families through reunions with honesty and care. Billy is far more than a translator or tour guide, but a much needed witness and interpreter of broken promises in a system built on deception and blatant abuse of power. This interview is a powerful reminder that family search and homecoming are rarely simple, but the truth becomes easier to find with someone who prioritizes humanity, truth, and justice over greed.

    50 min

  4. Apr 15

    Billy Birhan Desalegn: The Interpreter of Broken Promises (Part 1)

    I had the honor of sitting down with my dear friend Billy, also known as Billy Birhan Desalegn, in this deeply moving interview. Billy is a professional tour guide from Addis Ababa who unexpectedly began working in one of the most emotionally complex spaces in Ethiopia, the hidden reality of adoptee returns and reunification. After the crises of COVID-19 and the war in northern Ethiopia disrupted tourism, Billy transitioned from guiding visitors through Ethiopia’s historic sites to supporting adoptees and adoptive families returning in search of truth, family, and belonging. Instead, he stepped into a world far removed from scenic tours and shaped by the exploitation of Ethiopian families, grief, broken promises, and impossible expectations. Billy shares the haunting moment that changed everything for him, meeting a young Ethiopian adoptee who, despite being seen as “lucky” enough to live in the West with “everything,” was deeply silent and visibly unhappy. That experience transformed how he understood adoption. He realized his role was no longer just to translate, but to translate between decades of lies that agencies sold to biological families, the reality of adoptee lives abroad, and the painful truths no one wanted to acknowledge or fix. He also addresses the damage caused by white adoptive parents when they enter vulnerable communities with gifts, money, and performative generosity, only to disappear and leave biological families carrying the social consequences. Billy speaks candidly about the overwhelming expectations placed on returning adoptees and the emotional weight of translating through systemic failures. What makes Billy so special is his humanity and his commitment to his morals and values. He shares how he has cried alongside adoptees, protected them from exploitation, and helped guide families through reunions with honesty and care. Billy is far more than a translator or tour guide, but a much needed witness and interpreter of broken promises in a system built on deception and blatant abuse of power. This interview is a powerful reminder that family search and homecoming are rarely simple, but the truth becomes easier to find with someone who prioritizes humanity, truth, and justice over greed.

    52 min

  5. 10/13/2025

    Umm Adoptees, Are We Okay?

    Hey guyssss, this episode is me getting brutally honest with myself and with us as a community. It’s truthfully more of a crashout that I refuse to make palatable, because this is the reality of our lives, random crashouts as we start to metabolize what happened to us fifteen, twenty, thirty years ago. Like, let’s be real, most of us adoptees are NOT okay. And I don’t mean that in a “feel sorry for us” way, but in a “holy trauma, we’ve been through some wild stuff” kind of way. Between the fraudulent adoptions, missing documents, and the fact that many of us were literally trafficked under the name of “saving children,” it’s no wonder we’re collectively unwell. I’m talking imposter syndrome, burnout, coping mechanisms that no longer work, all of it. I had to admit that I’ve spent years intellectualizing my adoption instead of actually feeling it. And surprise, surprise, those emotions came knocking anyway. So yeah, I’m not okay, but also, I kinda am. You know? At the same time, this is me calling us in, not out. Because despite all the chaos, the corruption, and the lack of care we were shown, we’re still here, surviving, existing, even laughing. That’s wild resilience right there. But we’ve also got to stop lying about adoption being this beautiful fairytale when we know better. Some of y’all are out here promoting a system that literally destroyed our families, stop it. Be kind to yourself, stop leeching off each other’s already-tapped energy, and for the love of God, let’s build community that doesn’t self-destruct every five minutes. This episode is equal parts rant, confession, and love letter to every Ethiopian adoptee still trying to make sense of it all. We’re not okay, but the fact that we keep showing up anyway, that’s incredibly remarkable. I truly love you all, I just want better for all of us! 3   xoxo - Lidet

    35 min

  6. 06/16/2025

    YOU'RE NOT CRAZY - The Odds Were Not In Your Favor

    Hey everyone! In this solo episode, I get real about something that’s been weighing heavy on my heart: the lie we’ve been told that adoption is always good, always safe, always “better.” The title says it all – You’re Not Crazy – The Odds Were Not In Our Favor. I walk through the reasons why so many Ethiopian adoptees feel isolated, gaslit, and unheard, and how our experiences have been erased or minimized under the guise of adoption “saving” us. I talk candidly about the systems that failed us. Systems that didn’t vet adopters, didn’t check in on us, and never prioritized our well-being. I name what it really was: not adoption, but child trafficking and human trafficking. I speak directly to fellow adoptees who’ve been made to feel like they're the problem, like they should just be grateful, and I want you to hear me when I say – you're NOT crazy. This episode is a truth-telling session. It's raw, it’s emotional, and it’s a call to reframe the way we talk about adoption and our stories. If you’ve ever felt alone in your experience or like your pain didn’t make sense, I hope this episode makes it just a little bit easier to breathe. Let's talk about it and then create a new game-plan that will allow for the happiness and peace you - ALL OF US - deserve! 3

    45 min

  7. 02/16/2025

    Cosimo Naldi: Amor Vincit Omnia ("Love conquers all”) (Part II)

    [SAME SUMMARY FROM PART I] In this first episode of 2025, I had the honor of virtually sitting down with Cosimo Naldi, an Ethiopian adoptee raised and living in Italy. This conversation was raw, emotional, and deeply eye-opening. Cosimo’s story goes beyond adoption—it’s about survival, identity, and the complex layers that shape adoptee experiences. It’s not defined by trauma alone; it’s also about how love can be a solution, because amor vincit omnia, or “love conquers all,” which is not only Cosimo’s favorite phrase but also the title of a painting by one of my favorite artists, Caravaggio. Born in 1999 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Cosimo shared his early experiences growing up on the streets with his brother after their aunt couldn’t care for them. His childhood was marked by trauma—stealing food to survive, dodging the police, and even being held in jail as a young child. Eventually, his aunt placed him and his brother in an orphanage, which he described as feeling more like a prison, filled with neglect and corruption. Despite the darkness, he found ways to cope, developing an ability to read people’s emotions—a survival skill that still serves him today. At eight years old, Cosimo was adopted by an Italian couple. He remembers the moment he met them vividly—his father’s tears, his mother’s short haircut—and the surreal experience of suddenly being thrust into a new world. But life in Italy wasn’t the “heaven” he’d imagined. Adjusting to material comforts, learning to “be a child” after years of forced adulthood, and struggling to trust his new family were all part of his journey. We talked about how he eventually formed strong bonds with his adoptive parents, who he’s grown to love deeply as they earned his trust and became a constant source of support over the years. Cosimo also formed strong connections with other important people in his life, like his babysitters, who became like family and introduced him to Italian culture through music. School brought its own challenges—learning a new language, trying to fit in—but over time, he discovered a love for literature and poetry. Perhaps the most profound part of our conversation was Cosimo’s reflection on identity. Growing up, he tried to distance himself from his Ethiopian roots to fit in, leaving him feeling disconnected and lost—an experience many adoptees can relate to. His story is a powerful reminder of the silent battles adoptees face when it comes to belonging, identity, and healing from past wounds. This episode speaks to the real, unfiltered adoptee experience—beyond the surface-level narratives we often hear. Cosimo’s resilience, honesty, and insight left me deeply moved—I know it will do the same for you. Because truly, amor vincit omnia.  xoxo - Lidet

    46 min

  8. 02/03/2025

    Cosimo Naldi: Amor Vincit Omnia ("Love conquers all”) (Part I)

    In this first episode of 2025, I had the honor of virtually sitting down with Cosimo Naldi, an Ethiopian adoptee raised and living in Italy. This conversation was raw, emotional, and deeply eye-opening. Cosimo’s story goes beyond adoption—it’s about survival, identity, and the complex layers that shape adoptee experiences. It’s not defined by trauma alone; it’s also about how love can be a solution, because amor vincit omnia, or “love conquers all,” which is not only Cosimo’s favorite phrase but also the title of a painting by one of my favorite artists, Caravaggio. Born in 1999 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Cosimo shared his early experiences growing up on the streets with his brother after their aunt couldn’t care for them. His childhood was marked by trauma—stealing food to survive, dodging the police, and even being held in jail as a young child. Eventually, his aunt placed him and his brother in an orphanage, which he described as feeling more like a prison, filled with neglect and corruption. Despite the darkness, he found ways to cope, developing an ability to read people’s emotions—a survival skill that still serves him today. At eight years old, Cosimo was adopted by an Italian couple. He remembers the moment he met them vividly—his father’s tears, his mother’s short haircut—and the surreal experience of suddenly being thrust into a new world. But life in Italy wasn’t the “heaven” he’d imagined. Adjusting to material comforts, learning to “be a child” after years of forced adulthood, and struggling to trust his new family were all part of his journey. We talked about how he eventually formed strong bonds with his adoptive parents, who he’s grown to love deeply as they earned his trust and became a constant source of support over the years. Cosimo also formed strong connections with other important people in his life, like his babysitters, who became like family and introduced him to Italian culture through music. School brought its own challenges—learning a new language, trying to fit in—but over time, he discovered a love for literature and poetry. Perhaps the most profound part of our conversation was Cosimo’s reflection on identity. Growing up, he tried to distance himself from his Ethiopian roots to fit in, leaving him feeling disconnected and lost—an experience many adoptees can relate to. His story is a powerful reminder of the silent battles adoptees face when it comes to belonging, identity, and healing from past wounds. This episode speaks to the real, unfiltered adoptee experience—beyond the surface-level narratives we often hear. Cosimo’s resilience, honesty, and insight left me deeply moved—I know it will do the same for you. Because truly, amor vincit omnia. Part two of our conversation drops next week. You don’t want to miss it.   xoxo - Lidet

    39 min
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About

Ethiopian Adoptees: Unapologetically Unfiltered is a podcast by and for Ethiopian adoptees navigating the long aftermath of intercountry adoption. Hosted by Lidet O’Connor, the podcast centers adoptee voices without romanticizing adoption or softening harm. Through solo episodes and conversations with other Ethiopian adoptees, it explores identity, grief, systemic failure, survival, responsibility, and the realities adoption leaves behind. This is a place to listen, reflect, and to remember that your experience is real and worthy of being named. A podcast. A community. An archive in progress.

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