The Breaking Financial Chains Podcast

Tanya Ibberson
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Are you tired of feeling anxious about money despite working hard? Do you avoid opening bank statements, feel trapped by financial decisions you don't understand, or struggle with someone else controlling your access to money? You're not alone. Join chartered accountant and financial coach Tanya Ibberson for Breaking Financial Chains – the podcast that combines practical financial guidance with psychological insights to help you transform your relationship with money and recognise when others are using money to control you. Unlike traditional finance podcasts that focus only on the numbers, Tanya understands that financial freedom isn't just about budgets and spreadsheets. It's about healing emotional barriers, breaking unhealthy patterns, recognising financial abuse, and overcoming the shame that keeps us stuck. Whether you're dealing with a controlling partner who monitors every penny or simply need to understand the warning signs of financial coercion, this podcast provides crucial insights for protection and recovery . Whether you're a successful professional who secretly struggles with money management, someone experiencing or recovering from financial control in a relationship, or ready to break free from generational money patterns, this podcast offers a safe, non-judgmental space to learn, heal and grow. Each week, through solo episodes, expert interviews and transformation stories, you'll discover practical tools and emotional support to help you build genuine financial confidence and independence. Because financial empowerment is possible for everyone – regardless of your starting point or past experiences. Remember: financial freedom isn't just about the numbers – it's about breaking the chains that hold you back from living a life aligned with your values.

  1. 1h ago

    5 Quiet Checks That Show How Financially Prepared You Really Are

    Your Financial Safety Plan. If your circumstances changed unexpectedly tomorrow, would you know where to start with your money? Tanya Ibberson walks through a calm, practical five-step plan for understanding your own financial picture, so that if life ever shifts, you're not starting from zero. This isn't about expecting the worst. It's the same thinking as insuring your home: quiet confidence, built one small step at a time.   In this episode: • Why not knowing makes money worries feel bigger than they are • Five steps: know your financial picture, know where your information lives, know what money you can access, build your people plan and build capability • The difference between privacy and secrecy when couples share money • Tanya's own experience, and what she wishes she'd known sooner  • The five-question "Could I" check-in you can do tonight   Your reflection question: If my circumstances changed unexpectedly tomorrow, which part of my financial life would I feel least prepared to handle? And what is one safe, practical step I could take to understand it better?   Chapters: 00:00 Welcome and what this episode is really about 01:10 Planning for what you hope never happens 02:25 Why this applies to everyone 02:50 Information isn't confrontation 03:30 Why not knowing makes everything feel bigger 04:50 Step 1: Know your own financial picture 06:25 Step 2: Know where your important information is 07:55 Step 3: Know what money you can access 09:25 Privacy vs secrecy in relationships 10:50 Tanya's story  14:10 Step 4: Build your people plan 15:20 Step 5: Build capability, not just cash 16:20 What if you don't like what you find? 18:25 The "Could I" check-in 19:40 An options plan, not a panic plan 22:15 Your reflection question Mentioned in this episode: • Tanya's episode on What If funds: https://youtu.be/ma3lykDr1Sc • How to Build Financial Options When You Feel Trapped: https://youtu.be/eXAV8-bTGIA • Checking your credit report: Experian, Equifax and TransUnion all let you see your own report. Checking your own file doesn't affect your credit score. Signing up does create an account with emails and app notifications, so think about who else can see your inbox or phone.   About Tanya: Tanya Ibberson is a Chartered Certified Accountant, financial confidence coach and a specialist in financial control and economic abuse. She knows from personal experience that financial knowledge alone doesn't protect you from it. Get in touch: tanya@financialwingwoman.com   If anything in this episode felt familiar, you don't have to work it out alone. UK support: • National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours) • Surviving Economic Abuse: survivingeconomicabuse.org • Women's Aid: womensaid.org.uk • Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24 hours) If you're worried someone else can see your device, consider using one they can't access. Many support websites have a quick-exit button.   This episode is general information, not personal financial or legal advice.   #MoneyConfidence #FinancialIndependence #MoneyMindset Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  2. Sep 9

    The Default Parent: The Money Load No One Sees

    Somebody in your house knows when the PE kit is due, which child has outgrown their shoes and when the school trip needs paying for. It probably isn’t both of you.   In this episode Tanya Ibberson looks at what that invisible work actually costs, and why it belongs in a conversation about money at all. The default parent doesn’t just do more tasks. They carry the mental database for the entire family, and your capacity to earn is tied to the capacity you have left.   What we cover:   · The difference between doing a task and owning one, and why "just tell me what needs doing" leaves the load exactly where it was · How small career compromises compound over ten or fifteen years, in the same way interest on debt does · "You’re better at it": responsibility disguised as a compliment · Who the default money parent is in your house, and why it isn’t always the higher earner · What changes in someone’s financial behaviour when they finally run out of capacity · The Family Capacity Audit, a five-step conversation you can run at home · Why spending £1,200 a year can be the financially sensible decision   This isn’t about keeping score and it isn’t about splitting everything down the middle. Fair doesn’t have to mean equal. It does have to be visible.   Chapters 00:00 The questions only one of you can answer 02:17 Why this is a money issue 04:36 Capacity is the cost nobody bills for 06:54 Two hours available is not two hours of thinking 09:10 Compounding works in both directions 11:27 "You’re better at it" and the trap inside it 13:50 Owning versus helping 16:16 What happens when the default parent burns out 18:33 The resentment nobody names 20:55 The Family Capacity Audit 25:32 When spending money is the sensible decision 27:54 The legacy you are actually leaving 29:51 Your reflective question A question to sit with this week. If every invisible task you carry for your family suddenly became visible, what would surprise you most? And what is one responsibility you could share, simplify or let go of?   Tell me in the comments. I read them.   Subscribe for a new episode every week. More from Tanya at financialwingwoman.com   ABOUT BREAKING FINANCIAL CHAINS   Breaking Financial Chains combines practical financial guidance with psychological insight to help you build financial confidence, whatever your starting point. Hosted by Tanya Ibberson, a chartered certified accountant with 28 years in practice and a financial coach. The show covers money mindset, financial confidence, family money conversations and rebuilding financial independence, including recovery from financial control and economic abuse. Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  3. Sep 2

    What Your Daughter Learns About Money by Watching You

    We teach our daughters to swim and to cross the road. Then we send them into adult life without ever teaching them that their money is theirs to understand. Financial education usually stops at the mechanics. Bank accounts, payslips, tax, saving, interest, debt. All of it necessary. None of it enough, because financial education also has to include agency. In this episode Tanya makes the case for financial boundaries as a life skill rather than a money skill, and shows what teaching them actually looks like at fourteen, at twenty-one and at forty. Why early praise for being helpful and generous can quietly become self-abandonment. Why the teenage years are the cheapest training ground your daughter will ever get. How to raise financial awareness inside a relationship without it landing as an accusation. And why not understanding something financial has never meant you're bad with money. It closes with a five-part framework: know, ask, pause, protect and choose. This week's reflective question: if your daughter learned financial boundaries entirely by watching you, what would she learn? And is there anything you'd want to model differently from today? Tell me in the comments. Chapters 00:00 The lesson that never makes the list 02:25 The life skills we teach on purpose 04:41 Financial education is bigger than money 07:08 How girls learn to give 09:26 Generosity or obligation, and how to tell 11:53 Why the teenage years are the safest practice ground 14:16 Three jobs and the wrong tax code 16:42 What to actually check on a payslip 19:01 "I don't understand" is not "I'm bad with money" 21:23 Financial agency inside a relationship 23:48 You can trust someone and still read the contract 26:10 When love and money get tangled up 28:25 Noticing pressure without learning to fear relationships 30:46 Preparing daughters who earn well 33:10 The five boundaries framework 35:21 Capability as the real inheritance 37:38 Closing thoughts and your reflective question A note before you listen. This episode touches on financially controlling relationships and on Tanya's own experience of one. If that's close to home for you right now, please take it at your own pace. Support is available and free: Surviving Economic Abuse (survivingeconomicabuse.org), Refuge on 0808 2000 247, Women's Aid (womensaid.org.uk) and Samaritans on 116 123. Everything discussed here is general education, not regulated financial advice. For decisions about your own circumstances, please speak to a qualified adviser. About the show. Breaking Financial Chains combines practical financial guidance with psychological insight, for anyone rebuilding financial confidence. Host Tanya Ibberson is a chartered certified accountant with 28 years in practice, a financial confidence coach and the founder of a charity supporting people recovering from financial abuse and economic control. #FinancialBoundaries #MoneyMindset #RaisingDaughters Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  4. Aug 26

    You're Not Bad With Money. You're Exhausted.

    Impulse spending, avoiding your banking app, putting off every money decision. Often that isn't a discipline problem. It's an empty tank. Tanya Ibberson has spent years watching capable people make money decisions they would never make when rested. Not because they lack knowledge, and not because they lack willpower, but because they are running on empty. In this episode she takes the mechanics of budgeting and points them somewhere else entirely, at your own capacity. You already know how to budget money. Income, expenses, investments, debt. This episode walks those same four categories through your energy instead. Capacity income is whatever genuinely puts something back. Capacity expenses are what draws the account down. Capacity investments pay you back with interest. Capacity debt is what you borrow from tomorrow to get through today. Tanya also explains why she keeps an eye on her heart rate variability, and why she treats it as a dashboard warning light for a nervous system that is close to overdrawn. This one is for you if you are exhausted and overwhelmed and cannot work out why the money side of life feels so much harder than it should. If you earn well and still can't face opening your banking app. If the business is growing faster than you are sleeping. If you have no energy or motivation left by the time the admin comes round. Burnout, decision fatigue and brain fog show up in your bank statement long before they show up anywhere else. Tanya works through three patterns she sees again and again. The high earner who keeps postponing the financial admin. The business owner whose growth is outrunning their sleep. And someone making significant legal and financial decisions during one of the hardest periods of their life. Then she counts what gets paid later: late fees, default charges, credit damage and the opportunities that quietly pass by. None of this is about doing less. It is about the fact that a rested version of you makes better decisions with money, and better decisions compound. Building wealth is a marathon, and nobody runs a marathon on an overdrawn account. Here is your reflective question for the week. Journal on it, or turn it over on a drive or a walk. "If my nervous system had a bank statement, what would it reveal about my current balance? And what is one thing I could do this week to help it get back into balance? To make a deposit instead of another withdrawal." Tell me your answer in the comments. I read them. CHAPTERS 00:00 The idea: your nervous system has a budget 01:14 Budgeting money against budgeting capacity 02:28 When a money problem is really a capacity problem 03:47 HRV as a dashboard warning light 05:42 Making big decisions from an overdrawn account 06:20 Three people, one pattern 10:06 The hidden costs we pay later 12:40 Build your capacity budget: income and expenses 15:19 Capacity investments and capacity debt 17:01 Why this matters for building wealth 18:01 What changes when capacity comes back 19:54 Your reflective question this week A NOTE BEFORE YOU LISTEN This episode includes a personal story about money being used as a means of control, and it may land close to home for some people. If any of that sounds like your life right now, you are not overreacting and you are not on your own. There are people who understand this specific thing and who will talk it through with you. Refuge, National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours a day Surviving Economic Abuse: survivingeconomicabuse.org, and the CEDEAS Helpline on 0808 196 8845, freephone, weekday daytimes Women's Aid: womensaid.org.uk Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time LINKS The what-if fund episode, Why Most Financial Emergencies Aren't Emergencies: https://youtu.be/ma3lykDr1Sc Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com ABOUT THE SHOW The Breaking Financial Chains Podcast is hosted by Tanya Ibberson, the Financial Wingwoman. Each episode takes on the part of money that does not fit on a spreadsheet: the mindset, the capacity and the confidence sitting underneath the numbers. Tanya works with women rebuilding their financial independence, including those recovering from financial abuse, economic abuse and coercive control in a relationship, and she brings her own experience of that to the work. This episode is about mindset and capacity rather than specific financial products, and nothing in it is regulated financial advice. For decisions about your own circumstances, please speak to a qualified adviser. #Burnout #MoneyMindset #FinancialWellbeing Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  5. Aug 12

    Retirement Without the Panic

    Most people start retirement planning with one question. How much money do I need? It's the wrong place to start. Tanya has met people with substantial pension pots who feel deeply anxious, and people with far less who feel surprisingly calm. The numbers alone don't create confidence. This episode is about building a future you actually want to wake up to, and getting the order right: vision first, arithmetic second. In this episode:  • Why retirement is an identity shift, not just a financial event  • The reason two people with identical pensions can have completely different retirements  • Why so many women arrive at this feeling underprepared, and why that's circumstance rather than failure  • What avoidance genuinely costs in time, options and peace of mind  • A three-part framework: know where you stand, know what you're building, then build the bridge Reflective question: If money were no longer the deciding factor, what would you want your life to look like ten or twenty years from now? And what is one step you could take today? ⏱️ Chapters  00:00 Why the word retirement makes us panic  02:23 The myth that retirement is a number  04:36 The identity shift nobody discusses  06:43 Why women arrive underprepared  08:50 What avoiding it actually costs  11:15 Part one: know where you stand  13:39 Part two: know what you're building  15:54 Part three: build the bridge  16:13 Retirement doesn't have to mean stopping  18:35 Tanya's own turning point  21:04 The real goal is choice  23:19 Your reflective question ℹ️ This episode is general financial education, not personal financial advice. Please take regulated professional advice before making decisions about your pensions or investments. Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  6. Aug 5

    Overcoming Money Anxiety: How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Your Finances.

    Break free from emotional and practical barriers when dealing with your finances. In this episode, learn key insights into why managing money often feels so overwhelming and how to change your response. The “flinch test” and understanding your body’s reaction to checking your bank accountCommon emotional responses to money: avoidance, control, panic, and shameWhy your nervous system perceives finances as a threatThe importance of awareness over quick-fix budgeting solutionsPractical steps to create calm and safety around money decisionsChapters 00:00 Recognizing emotional responses to money 04:36 Emotional responses to money 09:18 Understanding Emotional Reactions to Money 13:05 Understanding your money mindset 15:12 Reflecting on creative insights Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  7. Jul 29

    Starting Over Financially: The First 3 Things I'd Do!

    There's a moment after everything changes when you're left with one terrifying question: what do I do now? I've been there. £30,000 in debt, coming out of a financially controlling relationship, with no idea where to start. In this episode I share the first three things I would do if I were starting over financially today, and why trying to fix everything at once is the thing that keeps most people stuck. Whether you're facing divorce, redundancy, bereavement, a business that's failed or a relationship that's ended, the starting point is the same. You don't need a perfect plan. You need visibility, breathing room and the next step. What you'll take away How to create financial visibility without overwhelming yourself, and why knowing your numbers feels safer than avoiding them  Why uncertainty is more stressful than the reality of your situation, however bad you think that reality is  How to build breathing room so you're making decisions from a calm place rather than a panicked one  Why focusing on the next step beats planning the whole staircase  Four traps to avoid when you're rebuilding, including the one most people fall into in the first week My reflective question for you this week If I stop trying to solve everything at once, what is the single most helpful financial step I could take this week? Chapters 0:00  What do I do now? 0:45  Why I'm sharing this 2:07  When everything changes 4:28  The part nobody warns you about 5:50  Step 1: Create financial visibility 9:09  Why uncertainty is worse than the truth 11:32 Step 2: Create breathing room 13:59 Survival mode versus stability 15:30 Step 3: The next step, not the whole staircase 16:21 My own story: £30,000 and no way out 20:52 How I started rebuilding 23:16 Four traps to avoid 25:37 The hidden opportunity in starting again 26:30 Your reflective question Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

  8. Jul 22

    The Invisible Money Rules You Never Agreed To

    Nobody sat you down and explained the rules. There was no checklist, no contract, no conversation. But somehow you learned exactly how much you're allowed to spend, which topics are safe to raise and whose needs come first. In this episode, Tanya explores the invisible money rules we absorb long before we understand money itself: where they come from, how they quietly shape our financial decisions as adults and how to start questioning whether they still deserve a place in your life. You'll learn:  • How unspoken money rules form in childhood, often before age seven  • The everyday ways they show up, from justifying small purchases to needing permission you don't actually need  • The difference between healthy consideration in a relationship and something more deep rooted  • A simple reflective practice for surfacing your own money rules  • How to rewrite a rule that no longer serves you Reflective question from this episode: What is one unspoken rule about money that I seem to be living by? And if I were creating that rule for myself today, would I choose it? Chapters  00:00 Welcome and what this episode is about  02:19 The rules you somehow already know  04:48 What invisible rules actually are  07:13 Where the rules come from  09:34 How they show up in adult life  11:59 The "don't be difficult" and self-sacrifice rules  16:32 Healthy consideration vs something deeper  18:36 Getting curious: what are your money rules?  23:01 Rewriting the rules  25:04 Closing thoughts and your reflective question Useful Links Website: www.financialwingwoman.com Email: tanya@financialwingwoman.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/financialwingwoman Instagram: www.instagram.com/thefinancialwingwoman Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefinancialwingwoman If this episode brings up difficult feelings, please reach out to appropriate support services in your area. #FinancialAbuse #FinancialFreedom #WomenEmpowerment #MoneyMindset #BreakingFinancialChains #FinancialControl #PersonalStory #PodcastLife #FinancialIndependence #ThinkMedia

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Are you tired of feeling anxious about money despite working hard? Do you avoid opening bank statements, feel trapped by financial decisions you don't understand, or struggle with someone else controlling your access to money? You're not alone. Join chartered accountant and financial coach Tanya Ibberson for Breaking Financial Chains – the podcast that combines practical financial guidance with psychological insights to help you transform your relationship with money and recognise when others are using money to control you. Unlike traditional finance podcasts that focus only on the numbers, Tanya understands that financial freedom isn't just about budgets and spreadsheets. It's about healing emotional barriers, breaking unhealthy patterns, recognising financial abuse, and overcoming the shame that keeps us stuck. Whether you're dealing with a controlling partner who monitors every penny or simply need to understand the warning signs of financial coercion, this podcast provides crucial insights for protection and recovery . Whether you're a successful professional who secretly struggles with money management, someone experiencing or recovering from financial control in a relationship, or ready to break free from generational money patterns, this podcast offers a safe, non-judgmental space to learn, heal and grow. Each week, through solo episodes, expert interviews and transformation stories, you'll discover practical tools and emotional support to help you build genuine financial confidence and independence. Because financial empowerment is possible for everyone – regardless of your starting point or past experiences. Remember: financial freedom isn't just about the numbers – it's about breaking the chains that hold you back from living a life aligned with your values.

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