This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

Jen & Ashten
  • 5.0 (18)
  • Comedy
  • Semiweekly

Join us on a heartfelt journey as we explore the unexpected path to becoming best friends. From chance encounters at a theater program to bonding over shared experiences during a pandemic, this episode delves into the laughter, challenges, and deep connections that have shaped our friendship. Discover how a simple trip to Beaver's Bend turned into a lifelong bond, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. Tune in for a candid conversation about friendship, life, and the moments that bring us closer together.

  1. 4d ago

    Halloween Hangovers, Friendship Hangman, & The Cupcake Cover-Up

    🎃 **It's Halloween at This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast!** And while Jen is dressed as Sebastian from *The Little Mermaid* and Ashten is spreading the love in pink hearts, the conversation is anything BUT a fairy tale! 🦀💕 We're taking a trip down memory lane with our best (and worst) Halloween costumes, including questionable '80s plastic masks, handmade princess dresses, and some seriously unfortunate onesies. But naturally, things go completely off the rails. 😂 This week we're talking about: 🧡 **Friendship Hangman** — How many chances does someone get before you start deleting letters from their name in your phone? And when is enough REALLY enough? 🧁 **The Cupcake Cover-Up** — Ashten thought she could take credit for Gin Gin's homemade cupcakes…until someone decided to expose the truth! 🚗 **Living in the Pioneer Days** — When your tire pressure sensors stop working and you suddenly have to figure out how people survived before technology. 😱 **The Morning from Hell** — A toddler pees in Ashten's bed, her tire is low, and she's making taco soup before 8 a.m. What could possibly go wrong? 😴 **The Great Nap Debate** — One of us considers napping a legitimate life skill. The other wakes up feeling guilty about wasting the day. Plus, cruise ship retirement nightmares, PTO supermoms, friendship boundaries, and plenty of conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with Halloween. It's Gen X meets Millennial, a little wisdom mixed with a whole lot of chaos, and another perfect example of **why we can't have a podcast!** 💬 **We want to know:** How many chances do YOU give someone before cutting ties? And what's your most unforgettable Halloween costume? 👇 Tell us in the comments! 💕 Like, subscribe, and join Jen & Ashten for more laughs, questionable advice, and completely unfiltered conversations! Halloween podcast chaos is here! Join us for a chat about holiday costumes, friendship boundaries, and life as a mom. This week, we are skipping the spooky vibes to discuss the real-life drama of friendship boundaries. We break down the unspoken rules of how many chances someone gets before you start deleting letters from their name in your phone. It is a Gen X meets Millennial perspective on navigating the messy parts of adulthood, from morning meltdowns with toddlers to the Great Nap Debate. We also tackle the hilarious Cupcake Cover-Up and share stories about living in the pioneer days when technology fails us. Whether you are a fan of horror movies or just looking for unfiltered girl talk, this episode is a reminder of why we can't have a podcast. It is all about finding humor in the everyday situations that make us lose our minds. Tell us in the comments: how many chances do you give a friend before cutting ties? Subscribe for weekly Gen X vs Millennial humor and more unfiltered conversations! #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveAPodcast #GenXVsMillennial #HalloweenEpisode #FunnyPodcast #FriendshipBoundaries #MomLife #GirlTalk #PodcastComedy #HalloweenChaos

    Halloween Hangovers, Friendship Hangman, & The Cupcake Cover-Up

  2. Oct 23

    Things That Piss Us Off: Drive-Thrus, Scratch-Offs & TSA! (sometimes...)

    What do lottery tickets, Starbucks drive-thrus, Cleveland airport security, and Halloween costumes have in common? THEY'RE ALL TESTING OUR PATIENCE! 😂 This week on This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast, Jen and Ashten are back with another episode of completely unfiltered conversations, questionable decisions, and the everyday situations that make us lose our minds! Ashten has officially entered her "Things That Piss Me Off" era, and it all starts with a woman buying what seems like an endless supply of scratch-off lottery tickets. Meanwhile, Jen has a full-blown Starbucks drive-thru crisis that ends with her literally praying for patience on the way home. 🙏☕ And that's just the beginning! Here's what we're getting into this week: 🎃 Halloween Costume Chaos: Disney heroes versus villains, a $75 toddler Gaston costume, and why Jen might end up dressed as a horse! 🎰 Lottery Ticket Meltdowns: Ashten questions the financial decisions of strangers while admitting we've all got our own vices. ☕ Drive-Thru Rage: Jen's Starbucks adventure proves that sometimes even Jesus needs to take the wheel. 🦫 Our New Career at Buc-ee's: Why we might actually make the perfect beaver mascots! 📖 Childhood Nostalgia & Storytelling: From Sally Jessy Raphael and childhood prank calls to true crime podcasts and Bible stories told like juicy gossip. ✈️ Cleveland Adventures: Jen reviews her surprisingly fabulous downtown hotel, explores Cleveland, and experiences another anxiety-filled trip through TSA security. 🎬 Movies That Hit Different as Adults: Rocky, Casper, While You Were Sleeping, and why some of our favorite childhood movies don't feel quite the same anymore. ❤️ The Beauty of Being Eight Again: A surprisingly heartfelt conversation about childhood, simpler times, family, and why sometimes staying home is the greatest luxury of all. 🍔 The Simpsons Halloween Mystery: Did The Simpsons really predict the future, and why didn't Jen get her collectible Halloween cup?! From hilarious rants to unexpectedly sweet memories, this episode is everything you've come to expect from a Gen X and Millennial friendship where absolutely NOTHING stays on topic. NOW WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! 👇 💬 What's your biggest drive-thru pet peeve? 💬 If you could go back to any age, what age would you choose? 💬 And most importantly — are you brave enough to go through TSA with Jen?! If you love funny podcasts, girlfriend conversations, Gen X vs. Millennial humor, childhood nostalgia, and two best friends who have absolutely no filter, you're in the right place! 👍 LIKE, COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE for more laughs, real-life stories, and completely unpredictable conversations! Welcome to This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast! #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveAPodcast #FunnyPodcast #GenXVsMillennial #DriveThruRage #Halloween2026 #GirlTalk #FunnyStories #ChildhoodNostalgia #Starbucks #PodcastComedy

  3. Oct 16

    Why You Should NEVER FaceTime From The Shower (And Other Dating Advice)

    Would you pay $350 to bring a FAKE BOYFRIEND to Thanksgiving dinner? 😂 Because apparently that's an actual business idea, and Jen and Ashten have QUESTIONS! This week on **This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast**, we're diving headfirst into the ridiculous world of modern romance, questionable dating decisions, and the things that give us the absolute ICK. Ashten takes us on a people-watching adventure at a country bar, where she's left wondering if anyone actually expects to find true love between the two-stepping and tequila. Meanwhile, Jen discovers that you can apparently RENT a boyfriend for Thanksgiving, complete with matching outfits, a fake love story, and a platinum package that includes kissing your mother on the cheek! And just when you think things couldn't get weirder, we're discussing a bizarre viral White House appearance that has the internet making comparisons to animatronics and lizard people. 🦎 **In this episode:**- 🤠 Finding love in all the wrong places — the Urban Cowboy edition- 💰 Rent-a-boyfriend Thanksgiving packages from $75 to $350- 🚩 Dating icks, cringey TikTok men, and couples who sit on the same side of the booth- 🎄 Why Hallmark movies make absolutely no sense- ❤️ The little things that actually matter in a relationship- 🛁 The great bath-versus-shower debate- 🦎 A viral White House appearance and the internet's wildest reactions- 📱 Why Jen probably shouldn't FaceTime from the shower! There's also a surprisingly heartfelt conversation about love, loss, and appreciating the little things your partner does for you. It's friendship, Gen X versus Millennial opinions, unsolicited relationship advice, and enough rabbit holes to keep us talking all night. **JOIN THE CONVERSATION!** 👇 Would YOU rent a boyfriend for Thanksgiving? What's your biggest dating ICK? And are you Team Hallmark or Team Absolutely Not? Tell us in the comments because, as usual, the comment section might be the best part! 👍 LIKE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE if you enjoy two best friends saying the things everyone else is thinking! #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveAPodcast #FunnyPodcast #RentABoyfriend #DatingIcks #GenXVsMillennial #GirlTalk #DatingHumor #Thanksgiving #RelationshipHumor #PodcastComedy

  4. Oct 2

    The Crybaby Pastor, a Botched Execution & 763 Dives for Love | True Crime + Chaos

    A murder trial involving a former American Idol contestant turned pastor, a reported execution attempt that left everyone asking WHAT HAPPENS NOW?!, AI scams, TikTok investigators…and one husband whose love story nearly broke us. 😳😭 Welcome back to This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, where Jen and Ashten somehow manage to go from true crime to Kiefer Sutherland, quilting, dating, catfishing, the lost art of romance, and becoming YouTube famous in approximately 30 minutes. This week, we’re talking about: 🔪 The “Crybaby Pastor” murder case — a former American Idol contestant and pastor accused of killing his wife, an alleged affair, thousands upon thousands of text messages, a suspicious 911 call, and the details that immediately had investigators asking questions. ⚖️ The execution story taking over social media — after reported attempts to carry out an execution failed, the internet has ALL the theories. What happens when an execution doesn’t go according to plan? And how much of what we’re seeing online can we even trust anymore? 📱 AI, catfishing & TikTok detectives — between fake accounts, bots sliding into DMs, social media investigators, Ring cameras and everybody documenting everything, HOW does anyone think they're getting away with anything in 2026? 💔 763 dives for the love of his life — a Japanese man has continued searching for his wife, who disappeared during the 2011 tsunami, returning to the water again and again for years. And yes…this one absolutely destroyed us. Which leads us to an important question: Have we completely lost the art of falling in love? We’re talking romance, relationships, flirting before “sliding into the DMs” existed, why people need to start WOOING each other again, and whether the younger generations might actually bring some of it back. PLUS: 😂 Jen's rapidly growing quilting YouTube channel🧵 Grandma hobbies are officially COOL again🎬 The Lost Boys vs. The Goonies🤖 Why we don't know what on the internet is real anymore❤️ The kind of love that lasts a lifetime✈️ And why Jen is apparently abandoning Ashten for Ohio and Connecticut Basically: true crime, relationships, nostalgia, internet insanity, friendship, quilting and complete chaos. Which is exactly why…we can’t have a podcast. 👇 TELL US IN THE COMMENTS: Do you think romance and “wooing” need to make a comeback? Could you tell if an AI account was catfishing you? And what true crime case has you completely obsessed right now? 👍 LIKE the episode💬 COMMENT and join the conversation🔔 SUBSCRIBE for more This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast #TrueCrime #TrueCrimePodcast #AmericanIdol #MurderTrial #TrueCrimeCommunity #Dating #Relationships #Catfishing #AI #TikTok #GenX #Millennial #ComedyPodcast #Podcast

    The Crybaby Pastor, a Botched Execution & 763 Dives for Love | True Crime + Chaos

  5. Sep 25

    Sleepover Witchcraft, the Black Dog & Why We’re Never Leaving the House

    Would you tell your best friend her outfit isn’t working? Jen and Ashten start with that dangerous question, then somehow end up revisiting “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board,” Ouija boards, cemetery scares, and the mysterious “black dog” stories truckers keep telling. Jen also brings a stack of stories involving a shopping scam, a roller coaster, and true crime. Add in a little AI panic and a proposed best-friend compound, and staying home starts to sound pretty good. Tell us in the comments: Would you want a friend to warn you about an outfit? And did “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” actually work at your sleepovers? Subscribe for more conversations with Jen and Ashten on This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast.

  6. Sep 18

    # 🦛 Congo Anxiety, Sister Wives & The Idaho Four Rabbit Hole

    Ashten has discovered that she may not be an empath…but she is definitely an anxiety empath, and TikTok has handed her the ultimate nightmare: explorer Ash Dykes preparing to take an inflatable kayak through the Congo surrounded by hippos, crocodiles, disease, and approximately 47 other ways to die. Then they bring us back to the important things in life: Sister Wives drama. Janelle is dating, Meri is moving on, Kody and Robyn may finally be exiting stage left, and naturally we have thoughts. But things take a much darker turn when we dive back into the Idaho Four murders and the Amber Vance YouTube series that has Jen completely sucked into the rabbit hole. The roommates, the timeline, disturbing audio recordings, the dog, the demolished house…there are a LOT of questions. Also: Jen declares war on McDonald’s over an absolutely unacceptable Hello Kitty/Godzilla Happy Meal toy, we discuss why she’ll watch true crime for hours but refuses to read subtitles, and somehow the podcast ends with vines taking over the ceiling. Basically: TikTok gave us anxiety, TLC gave us gossip, YouTube gave us a conspiracy spiral…and McDonald’s gave us trash. This is why we can’t have a podcast.

  7. Sep 11

    Remembering 9/11, Widowhood & Duct Tape at 30,000 Feet ✈️

    We start this episode on a more serious note as we remember September 11th, talk about what it was like to actually live through that day, and wonder whether younger generations can ever really understand how much it changed everything. Then Ashten gets very real about grief, widowhood, and the comment that sent her over the edge this week: “You shouldn’t waste your life.” We talk about why being single does NOT mean your life is wasted, why there is no timeline for finding love after loss, and why society is so uncomfortable with women simply being okay on their own. And because this is This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, things quickly derail. 😂 We’ve got a belligerent airline passenger getting DUCT TAPED TO HIS SEAT, strangers becoming best friends on a plane, influencers apparently ruining the US Open, Emma discovering she is definitely not a Pilates princess, the terrifying modern dating pool, and one very important question: Do chat rooms still exist?! Somehow we go from national tragedy to widowhood to Richard Simmons and gluteus maximus complaints in under an hour. Honestly… this is exactly why we can’t have a podcast. 🎙️ This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast

  8. Sep 4

    Ignored Texts, JP Miller is the devil (allegedly) & the Thirst Trap Grotto Girls 😬📱🔥

    Jen is officially on probation for taking more than 24 hours to answer Ashten’s text, and apparently being busy building an empire is NOT an acceptable excuse when you’re on someone’s emergency contact list. 😂 After the friendship intervention, we get into the disturbing Mica Miller story and The Death of a Pastor’s Wife—the red flags, the allegations surrounding JP Miller, stalking, manipulation, and why this case is even more unsettling the deeper you go. Then things take a HARD left into the COVID-era TikTok thirst trap known as William White. What started with lip-syncing, good hair, and women throwing money at their screens somehow turned into the Grotto Girls, hundreds of thousands of dollars, Disney Mama, fan-club warfare, leaked photos, catfishing, and grown women basically reenacting Lord of the Flies on social media. Also: apparently someone is currently pretending to be a 49ers player and allegedly swindling women out of money, which naturally leaves us wondering… What should WE pretend to be so we can finally get rich? Welcome to another episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast—where friendship comes with a 24-hour response policy and TikTok continues to prove that absolutely nothing good happens when the internet gets hot, bothered and organized.

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5
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About

Join us on a heartfelt journey as we explore the unexpected path to becoming best friends. From chance encounters at a theater program to bonding over shared experiences during a pandemic, this episode delves into the laughter, challenges, and deep connections that have shaped our friendship. Discover how a simple trip to Beaver's Bend turned into a lifelong bond, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. Tune in for a candid conversation about friendship, life, and the moments that bring us closer together.

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