Forty Thousand Hurts

El, Rosa & Holly
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A podcast for people who don't know much about Warhammer by us - three people who don't know much about Warhammer. El, Rosa & Holly are here to lead you by the hand as we stumble face first into the vast world of Warhammer 40,000.

Episodes

  1. Episode 12: Christmas Wishes

    4D AGO

    Episode 12: Christmas Wishes

    Ho ho ho! It's a time of wonder and joy and we'd all like a break please. So we're having a fun one. We go round the table and bounce around the various magical wishes we have, hoping for a christmas miracle to make them turn up in the game please. We also debate if the Emperor controls the weather, Lumi argues that the Skaven should be part of the the T'au empire, and most importantly Holly wishes for more tanks. Have a lovely holiday. For Holly's guest appearance on the lesbian book podcast Cliterature, please check out their instagram @cliterature_pod Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 17m

  2. DEC 10

    Episode 11: A Legionary Primer (Loyalist edition)

    This week we're back and continuing the journey of talking Space Marines, this time with specifics! El, Lumi and Holly take turns teaching each other (and possibly you) about each of the loyalist legions, touching on colour schemes, combat style, leader, and just general vibe. That's right, we actually do some educatin' in this one! And it's not nearly as dry or boring as the rules explanation episodes! We're improving!! Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 5m
  3. Episode 10: SPACE MARIIIIINES

    NOV 26

    Episode 10: SPACE MARIIIIINES

    Yes, it's time. We're talking about the big blue boys, the original fridges, the chunky poster child of 40K: Space Marines. Serving as a gentle primer on who and what exactly Space Marines actually are, we talk about who, what, why, and how much attention they get. Holly also makes sure to tell us which legions are which Spice Girl, and Lumi only brings up the Tau three times. If you don't know who the Space Marines are, or why you should care I guess, then this is the place to start! Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 12m
  4. Episode 9: A Relief Effort For Riley (with Riley Quinn)

    NOV 12

    Episode 9: A Relief Effort For Riley (with Riley Quinn)

    We're a member down this week as Holly is seeking guidance from The Emperor. But fear not, we have guest on the pod, and it's only bloody Riley Quinn (Trashfuture, No Gods No Mayors). Arriving at high velocity from his drop pod of "I am so busy please free me" (a real quote, probably) to reminisce all about his history with Warhammer, why it's definitely not a special interest, and the ways it which is still has hold of him now. Along the way we cover why 12 year olds should be able to annoy adults, astonishingly unwise game tactics, and the incredible camp of 40K (yes really). And as hosts we are impeccably polite and only slightly interrogate whether Riley is in fact trans. If you enjoy Riley on this, please do go check out his other work on Trashfuture (a podcast about how the future is trash), and No Gods No Mayors (a podcast about how mayors are also trash). And watch out for Shadow Doge, a real game that is really in the works. Also this is an episode where El just gave up trying to bleep the swearwords because there were too many. So enjoy a peppering of fucks! (sorry kids) Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 5m
  5. Episode 8: Talkin' 'bout that T'au

    OCT 29

    Episode 8: Talkin' 'bout that T'au

    This week Lumi's taking over and is here to convert you to the T'au'va. That's right, it's faction focus time and Lumi is taking us on a combined book report/Tau lore journey. With no Holly this episode, and El suffering from a demonic illness of some kind, it truly is Lumi's show. She talks us through Tau history, culture, style, appeal and a whole bunch more. More concerningly, she does such a good job that evil-forever El keeps getting more and more interested. Distressing stuff. There's so much to cover that this may well be just part one of T'au-time, with part two being actually, y'know, more of a book report. But in the meantime, why not listen and learn your place among the Greater Good. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 3m

  6. OCT 16

    Episode 7: Incompetence in Crusading

    This week we are back (albeit late), and El & Lumi have some exciting things to report. Fresh off the back of a recent game (thats right, we actually played!) we return to talk about the many, many, many ways in which we made mistakes. From dummy deployments to not understanding the actual dice, El & Lumi give an after-battle report to our attentive scribe and surrogate audience Holly. It turns out this game is kind of fun. And it doubly turns out that doing that in Crusade (where you name all your units and get deeply attached to them) is even more fun. And of course, we also cover misattributing songs, haunted bins, Holly puns, and why Games Workshop should hire us. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 10m
  7. Episode 6: Fun with Nuns With Guns

    OCT 1

    Episode 6: Fun with Nuns With Guns

    This week Holly takes the wheel as she tells us (and you) all about her faction, the Adepta Sororitas, the nuns with guns. She tells us who they are, what their vibe is, and most importantly why Holly chose them as her army! Because she's a treasure, Holly has even created a handy little system of critera to evaluate her faction through (which we will definately be stealing for future episodes). We look into our favourite zealots through the lenses of lore, look, cost, gameplay, and space. Due in part to learning but mostly to having fun we go over time (again). Also, a podcast first, we cut a joke for reasons of tact and taste - but we absolutely leave in all the backchat, but you can't sue us now! (please don't try.) Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 11m

  8. SEP 17

    Episode 5: In Which We Discuss Painting

    This week we are back baybeee! No more dry stuffy rules to wade through, we've got a palette full of energy and more discussion than you can shake a paintbrush at. Which is to say El, Rosa & Holly are back to share our feelings on starting to paint. The joys, the roadblocks, and some of the most important things to keep in mind when you start (in our expert opinions). We talk about basing, acrylic paint, what airbrushes are (and why you don't super need one unless you're Rosa), and all sorts of painting odds and ends. Honestly, we just spend quite a lot of time being excited about how fun painting can be, and how interesting it is as a subject. But it wouldn't be FTH if we didn't also get entirely sidelined by such subjects as making units worse on purpose, rainbow poops and iridescent piss, and what a maket is (we tell you, don't worry). Also El has finally sorted their mic out.  * I'm not gonna lie, I think this is the best episode we've done. Enjoy! Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 4m
  9. Episode 4: Welcome back to class (rules 101 part 2)

    SEP 3

    Episode 4: Welcome back to class (rules 101 part 2)

    In this episode we finish off our intro to rules, as El desperately tries to hammer through A LOT OF RULES while Rosa and Holly continue to be excellently patient students. We cover setting up your table, missions, terrain, deployment AND ALSO cover each of the five phases of a player turn, explaining all the way. (El here: this was entirely too much talking from me, I’m looking forward to taking off my teacher’s tie next time). But of course we deviate as well, so Holly talks football, Rosa makes sex jokes, and the Tau feature prominently in ‘examples of things that terrify El’. Listeners may notice that El’s microphone is now different and much more sophisticated! And is therefore causing audio issues in a whole new variety of ways. Please continue to tell them the mic needs work. It helps, probably. Lastly, IF YOU ENJOYED THIS PODCAST, or if you have thoughts to add in, please let us know! We crave your feedback like a vampire craves blood (and for not entirely dissimilar reasons) and we really really appreciate it too. Aaand hey, like, subscribe, all that nonsense as well. Be a champ, you know you want to. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 10m
  10. Episode 3: Welcome to class (rules 101)

    AUG 20

    Episode 3: Welcome to class (rules 101)

    Today El dons the role of teacher, and starts to lead us through the basics of how 10th Edition 40K works, up to and including what an 'edition' is. Our episode-cum-classroom is set up as an easygoing space, as repeatedly demonstrated by Rosa and Holly's tangents (and El's as well). We talk editions, pre-game things to choose, and the core dice trio that allows so many of the 40k factions and units feel distinct. (Also it helps understand the game a lot too). Holly also discloses her hatred of stickers.  Can you believe El thought they'd be able to cover most of the rules in an hour? Silly teacher. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 3m

  11. AUG 6

    Episode 2: Splashing Around In The Lore

    With a whole episode under the belt, El, Rosa & Holly take our second outing and paddle around in the shallow(ish) end of the Big Behemoth that is 40K lore. Of which there is so much. There is just SO MUCH. We talk about the imperium (a bit), what the warp is and why it is bad, how Orks are fun. Also El does a dramatic reading of the 40K quote. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    55 min

  12. JUL 23

    Episode 1: What even is Warhammer 40K?

    El, Rosa & Holly take our first steps into podcasting and talking 40K. In this pilot episode, we skim loose frameworks of the hobby - from playing wargames to niche internet arguments. Staying strictly on target, our conversation also includes mention of Graham's Number, mech suits, and the inevitable Estonian empire. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts

    1h 2m
  • 12 Episodes

About

A podcast for people who don't know much about Warhammer by us - three people who don't know much about Warhammer. El, Rosa & Holly are here to lead you by the hand as we stumble face first into the vast world of Warhammer 40,000.

Information

  • Creator
    El, Rosa & Holly
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Forty Thousand Hurts
  • Show Website
    Forty Thousand Hurts