Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

  1. Your Body Is Keeping Secrets - What Happens When You Start Listening?

    6H AGO

    Your Body Is Keeping Secrets - What Happens When You Start Listening?

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Your body's keeping secrets from you. Not because it wants to hide things, but because you've been taught to ignore, shove down, and repress experiences, thoughts, and feelings you haven't had the time or resources to handle. That knot in your stomach when you say yes but mean no? Your body remembers. The exhaustion you can't explain? Your body is screaming. The anxiety that shows up for "no reason"? Your body has reasons - you're just not listening. In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley explores the concept that our bodies don't just keep the score of trauma - they keep the story. Drawing from Bessel van der Kolk's groundbreaking work and somatic psychologist Ailey Jolie's research on women's nervous systems, Danielle weaves together three powerful stories of bodies that refused to be ignored any longer. Carolyn's hair fell out in clumps, forcing her to redefine identity beyond appearance in an industry obsessed with looks. Danielle shares her own crash at 47 - perimenopause stripping away the coping mechanisms that had hidden undiagnosed ADHD for decades. And Preston O'Brien's body held childhood sexual abuse and decades of shame until he learned that healing wasn't about stopping behaviours - it was about learning to feel again. This isn't about fixing your body. It's about finally hearing what it's been trying to tell you. Chapters: [00:00] Introduction - Your Body's Keeping Secrets[03:40] Carolyn Ozkoseoglu - When Your Hair Falls Out in Clumps[08:25] Autoimmune Diseases and the Stress Connection[11:30] The Betrayal of Changing Bodies (Pregnancy, Aging, Illness)[15:20] Danielle's Panic Attack - Body Keeping Score After Mum's Death[18:45] The Crash at 47 - Not Wanting to Get Out of Bed[22:30] Perimenopause Unmasking ADHD After 47 Years[26:15] Preston O'Brien - Pinky the Teddy Bear and Childhood Trauma[30:40] How the Body Stores Trauma (Whiskey, Tobacco, Sensory Memories)[34:20] Women's Bodies Keep the Story, Not Just the Score[37:50] Learning to Listen - What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?Total Episode Time: 41:15 Guests Featured: Carolyn Ozkoseoglu (Alopecia journey)⁠Preston O'Brien⁠ (⁠The Triumphant Man⁠ -Men's mental health advocate, trauma survivor)Resources Mentioned: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der KolkAiley Jolie (British somatic psychologist on women's nervous systems)ACE Test (Adverse Childhood Experiences)The Chocolate Bar Life by Danielle ColleyConnect: If your body has been screaming and you've been ignoring it, reach out to a trusted friend, or seek professional advice to get a plan for next steps.  Contact Danielle to learn about the work she does and see if it's right for you.  danielle@daniellecolley.com.au or ⁠@iamdaniellecolle⁠y

    47 min
  2. Is Life Happening To You Or For You? - Rethinking Pain Without Toxic Positivity

    JAN 21

    Is Life Happening To You Or For You? - Rethinking Pain Without Toxic Positivity

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text "Everything happens for a reason" - sometimes those words feel like a punch in the gut when you're drowning in grief, fear, or anger. But what if there's a different way to look at life's hardest moments that doesn't feel like toxic positivity? In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley weaves together four powerful stories that explore whether life happens TO us or FOR us. From comedian Jordana Borensztajn bombing so badly on a cruise ship she called it "the floating prison of shame," to Imogen Carn losing her mum to suicide and channeling her rage into The Grief Files podcast that's helped hundreds of thousands, to Vashti Whitfield losing her husband Andy at 39 and reframing tragedy, to Preston O'Brien's rock bottom becoming his greatest gift. This isn't about pretending everything is fine or denying pain. It's about trust. About redirects versus failures. About the difference between giving up and letting go. It's about asking "what can I create from this?" instead of "why is this happening to me?" Danielle also shares her own journey through her father's death that redirected her entire career, and her current navigation of her mother's recent death - the wreckage, the gifts hidden in grief, and learning to trust the redirect even when you can't see where it's going. Chapters: [00:00] Introduction - The Problem With "Everything Happens For A Reason"[02:45] Jordana's Floating Prison of Shame[07:20] Creativity as Resilience - What's the Next Best Thing?[10:15] Imogen Carn - Losing Mum to Suicide[14:30] The Investigation and The Light[16:45] "It's Something You Have to Find For Yourself"[18:20] Danielle's Wreckage After Dad's Death[21:40] Vashti Whitfield - This Is Happening TO Us AND FOR Us[25:10] Can We Say Mum's Death Is Happening FOR Me?[28:35] Preston O'Brien - Becoming the Inspiration He Was Looking For[30:50] Four Redirects - What Can You Create From This?[33:20] Final Reflection - Trust the RedirectGuests Featured: ⁠Jordana Borensztajn (Communications expert, author of The Little Book of Influence)⁠⁠Imogen Carn (Co-host of Good Mourning podcast)⁠⁠Vashti Whitfield (Transformational facilitator, co-creator of Be Here Now documentary)⁠⁠Preston O'Brien (Men's mental health advocate, founder Triumphant Man)⁠ Connect: If this episode helped you see your challenges differently, share it with someone navigating their own redirect. Tell us about a time something you thought was happening TO you turned out to be happening FOR you.

    34 min
  3. How to Stop Living Under Other People’s Expectations

    12/17/2025

    How to Stop Living Under Other People’s Expectations

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text A listener wrote in feeling completely torn apart by the weight of expectations. Family expectations, societal expectations, and the brutal “shoulds” we place on ourselves. In this How Are You Really? episode of Big Stuff, Danielle unpacks what it costs us when we say yes to someone else’s vision… and no to our own. Whether your dream is travelling the world, changing careers, choosing not to have kids, leaving a relationship, studying later in life, or stepping out of the role everyone assigned you, this episode is about reclaiming your one big, bold, beautiful life. In this episode, we cover: Why expectations are often rooted in love (and still feel suffocating)The difference between aligned choices vs paying the imaginary debt of expectationWhy you’re not choosing between two options — you’re choosing between two identitiesThe #1 regret of the dying (from The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware)How to share your truth with love, ask people to trust you, and stop abandoning yourself If you’ve been feeling “confused,” this might be the truth: You’re not confused about what you want, you’re questioning whether you’re allowed to want it. People will be okay if you live your own life… but will you be okay if you don’t? 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:15 Listener's Dilemma: The Weight of Expectations 03:53 Unpacking Family and Societal Expectations 08:19 The Importance of Self-Permission 11:30 Living True to Yourself: Lessons from the Dying 15:06 Navigating Personal Choices and Expectations 22:26 The Role of Self-Worth and Success 30:26 Final Thoughts and Season Wrap-Up Connect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/ But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/  Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr# Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley  Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu

    33 min
  4. The Floating Prison of Shame: How Bombing on Stage Became My Superpower

    12/10/2025

    The Floating Prison of Shame: How Bombing on Stage Became My Superpower

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Jordana Borensztajn, a comedian, communication expert and mentalist, joins the show to share how her most humiliating moments became the fuel for her career. From bombing so badly on a cruise ship that an elderly passenger told her to get off while she was still at sea, to being escorted off Facebook’s campus in a giant Like costume, Jordana reveals how comedy, curiosity and creativity helped her transform embarrassment into influence and resilience. In this episode, we explore the surprising psychology behind stage presence, why humor can be healing and the grounding techniques that help calm nerves before high-stakes moments. Jordana also breaks down mentalism’s insights on human connection, the 4-2-4 breathing method and how following joy, not perfection, is the secret to authentic communication. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone facing fear of judgment, imposter syndrome or the pressure to perform. Connect with Jordana Borensztajn: Website: jordanab.com.au Instagram: @jordanaborensztajn Book Website: littlebooks.biz 00:00 Introduction to the Floating Prison of Shame 00:30 Meet Jordana Borensztajn: From Journalist to Comedian 02:06 The Challenge of Standup Comedy 03:49 The Worst Date Ever: A Comedy Catalyst 05:22 The Healing Power of Laughter 07:58 The Floating Prison of Shame: A Cruise Ship Disaster 12:07 Lessons from Bombing on Stage 14:27 The Importance of Authentic Connection 16:46 Embracing the Messy and Chaotic 17:19 The Power of Imagination and Play 23:16 Discovering Mentalism During Lockdown 25:09 The Magic of Mentalism and Human Connection 32:30 The Quest to Meet Mark Zuckerberg 33:42 The Giant Costume Quest Begins 34:24 Meeting Tech Icons at Dallas Digital Summit 35:01 The Facebook Headquarters Adventure 35:25 Facing Fear and Embracing the Experience 38:12 The Aftermath and Realizations 40:45 Grounding Techniques for Public Speaking 48:17 Resilience and Creativity in Comedy 52:49 Visionaries and Overcoming Fear 56:50 The Power of Joy and Embracing Mistakes 59:59 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans 01:02:18 Final Reflections and Podcast Outro

    1h 6m
  5. Why Grief Feels Like A Brain Injury (And Other Things Nobody Tells You About Loss)

    12/03/2025

    Why Grief Feels Like A Brain Injury (And Other Things Nobody Tells You About Loss)

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text In this deeply personal episode recorded only weeks after her mother’s death through voluntary assisted dying, Danielle shares the raw reality of grief, far beyond the familiar sadness people expect. She opens up about dissociation at work events, emotional numbness, and the biological impact of loss on the brain and body, from the amygdala to the mitochondria. This conversation explores what grief actually feels like, why it isn’t linear, and why “being strong” can sometimes do more harm than good. Whether you’re grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a compassionate blend of science, lived experience, and practical tools for navigating loss. Danielle unpacks cultural discomfort around sadness, the truth behind emotional “rewiring,” and the idea that grief is a form of love. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:46 Dealing with Grief: Personal Experiences 01:49 The Science of Grief 05:01 Navigating Life Amidst Grief 08:50 Coping Mechanisms and Support 12:14 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Grief 26:45 Public Displays of Grief and Cultural Perspectives 29:23 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Connect with Danielle:  See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/ But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/  Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr# Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley  Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu

    32 min
  6. Divorce, Solo Parenting, and Kids With Challenges - Turning hard times into a wonderful life

    11/26/2025

    Divorce, Solo Parenting, and Kids With Challenges - Turning hard times into a wonderful life

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text In this powerful episode divorce coach and founder of Women's Divorce Academy, Carolyn Tate, shares the heartbreaking yet inspiring journey of supporting her son Connor through a life-threatening crisis that ultimately revealed his truth which changed their lives forever.  Carolyn and host, Danielle Colley, explore the reality of parenting through fear, confusion, and impossible choices where trusting your child matters more than fully understanding them. The conversation also explores on the emotional toll of divorce, co-parenting challenges, and the loneliness of navigating crisis in silence. Carolyn explains how her darkest chapters became the foundation for the Women’s Divorce Academy, helping hundreds of women through one of life's other huge transitions - separation and divorce.  Together, she and Danielle discuss medical support for transgender youth, practical survival tools like 'grey-rocking' and the Perspex box visualization, and the transformative power of choosing belief, compassion, and community. This episode is a reminder that the hardest moments of life can become the wisdom someone else needs. Connect with Carolyn: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/womensdivorceacademy/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womensdivorceacademy Website: www.womensdivorceacademy.com 00:00 A Mother's Nightmare Begins 00:26 Introducing Carolyn Tate 02:18 The Turning Point: Connor's Revelation 02:34 A Conversation on the Big Green Couch 03:19 The Perfect Storm: Carolyn's Struggles 04:06 Connor's Mental Health Battle 08:28 The Journey of Acceptance 16:48 The Transition Process 21:07 Support Systems and Challenges 26:44 Life After Top Surgery 35:03 Turning Pain into Purpose 38:03 Embracing a Clean Slate 38:37 Navigating Post-Breakup Challenges 39:06 Rebuilding and Finding Optimism 40:02 Support Networks and Positivity 41:27 Dealing with Difficult Exes 48:42 The Power of Community 50:34 Reflecting on Personal Growth 55:09 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

    1h 9m
  7. Owning Your Story With Beauty Industry Disruptor, Lisa Schweighoffer

    11/19/2025

    Owning Your Story With Beauty Industry Disruptor, Lisa Schweighoffer

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text What happens when you stop apologising for your choices with one tiny word?  Lisa Schweighoffer went from saying "I'm just a stay-at-home mom" to co-founding Boost Lab, the irreverent skincare brand that's disrupting beauty by refusing to take itself too seriously. In this raw conversation, Lisa shares how just one single word was shrinking her presence and what it was like to build an international business after 10 years at home with kids.  And we go deeper than this, as a busy and successful mum, Lisa also dives deep into the reason her medical hysterectomy at 48 came with zero menopause information, and the ultimate partnership secret that makes 30+ year marriages actually thrive.  From testing products on speedboats to dancing on Instagram and building a very successful business, Lisa proves that the most confident founders aren't those who take everything seriously, they're those who know exactly what deserves their attention, leaving them free to approach everything else with humour and joy. Resource List - Books: Dr. Mary Claire Haver - "The New Menopause" (Lisa says it "literally changed my life")Dr. Michael Mosley - "Just One Thing" Podcast: Brené Brown - "Unlocking Us" (episode with Dr. Mary Claire Haver on perimenopause and bone health) Where to find Lisa - Instagram - ⁠@lisaschway⁠ and ⁠@boostlabco⁠ Website -⁠ Boost Lab⁠ 0:00 - Introduction: The power of removing "just" from your vocabulary 4:00 - The New Zealand leap: Moving countries with three kids under four 10:00 - The reality of stay-at-home motherhood: isolation, sacrifice, and chosen family 17:00 - The "never just" breakthrough: Removing one word that was making her smaller 22:00 - "You're choosing what you don't change": Life philosophy on making empowered choices 26:00 - From hammers to beauty: The unexpected entrepreneurial journey 30:00 - Why Boost Lab does skincare differently: Concern-led, not ingredient-led 35:00 - 15 years of bleeding: The health journey no one talks about 38:00 - Medical gaslighting: When doctors fail women in perimenopause 40:00 - Self-advocacy: How Lisa armed herself with information and changed everything 43:00 - The HRT conversation: "If your doctor doesn't listen, find another one" 44:00 - Partnership gold: How she and Craig work as a true team 48:00 - Being "just the fun face" and learning to own your value 51:00 - Practical wisdom: Bone health, heavy lifting, and preparing for the next chapter 52:00 - Stop watching the news: Protecting your nervous system 54:00 - Lisa's tips for happy living: HRT, lift heavy, laugh at yourself, whiskey

    57 min
  8. The Day Before: My Mum's Final Hours Before Voluntary Assisted Death

    11/12/2025

    The Day Before: My Mum's Final Hours Before Voluntary Assisted Death

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Trigger warning: Episode discusses death, grief and choosing to die.  This is part two of a series. If you haven't listened to Episode 12 where I first introduced you to my mum Carolyn and her decision to pursue voluntary assisted death, start there. On the 11th October, we threw my mum the living wake of the century. It was supposed to be four months before she died. We had time. We had plans. Then that night, she couldn't breathe. She pressed her buzzer. Nobody came. She thought she was going to suffocate alone in her bed. The next morning, I got the call. Less than an hour later, my brother and I were sitting with her asking: "Do you feel done?" She said yes. Three days later, she would be dead. On the Tuesday—her final full day—she asked if we could record one more conversation. I was exhausted, but my friend Rodney said, "You'll regret not doing this." So we talked about last words, regret, flickering lights as a form of communication from the other side, and whether she thought she was brave.  Then I share what actually happened in her final hours—the ritual, the music, her actual last words as her chosen music played, and the surprising peace that came after. What has surprised me most is that peace. Not the devastation I expected. Just this gentle, unexpected calm. I'm sharing this because I think we need different stories about death. Real ones. Where someone looks forward to what's next.  Where grief can be peaceful instead of wild. If you feel like this is too raw for you, it's ok. This won't be for everyone, but I'm glad I recorded this episode even though I was exhausted and dubious.  My mum is, was, and will always be a remarkable human being. CAROLYN COLLEY 07/10/1951 - 15/10/2025

    1h 13m

About

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley