Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley
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You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

  1. 3d ago

    Davey Lloyd (The Bachelorette) on Addiction, Getting Sober & Learning Who He Is Without The Masks

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text On day one of filming The Bachelorette, Davey Lloyd walked into the mansion to meet Sam Frost off a three-day bender, running on no sleep, about to be the first man she'd ever meet.  Nine years later he'd be lying on a footpath, clinically dead, while his friends tried and failed to bring him back with CPR before the ambulance got there in time — and even that wasn't enough to stop him.  Davey is a former reality TV star, two years sober, and the author of a memoir about what it actually took to put that version of himself down for good. This isn't really a story about drugs. It's a story about performance — the version of yourself you build so nobody, including you, ever has to look underneath it. Danielle and Davey talk about undiagnosed ADHD, why the loudest person in the room is usually the most hurt, becoming a bully at school to feel seen, three overdoses, the morning he finally surrendered, and what it's taken to learn to cry, forgive himself, and let his parents back in. Chapters 0:00 — Cold open: The Bachelorette bender1:30 — Welcome and introduction3:00 — Life before The Bachelorette8:00 — The party persona and undiagnosed ADHD14:00 — "I didn't love myself at all" — where the pain came from21:00 — Becoming the bully: the root of the performance27:00 — Three overdoses and the night he surrendered34:00 — What healing actually looked like42:00 — Rebuilding trust with his parents47:00 — Learning to feel again51:00 — Writing Tin Man and the fear of being seen54:00 — Addiction isn't just drugs60:00 — Closing thoughts63:00 — Danielle's reflection: two thinking points68:00 — Outro and where to find Davey Key Takeaways Performance is armour. It protects you from being seen.Addiction stems from a lack of self-love.Addiction doesn't have to look like drugs. Phones, busyness, distraction can serve the exact same function.Rebuilding trust after you've hurt people you love takes years, and forgiving yourself is part of the work, not a reward at the end of it. FAQs How many times did Davey Lloyd overdose?Three times. The third time, his heart stopped — friends attempted CPR until paramedics arrived and revived him. What is Davey Lloyd's book, Tin Man, about?A memoir covering his years on reality TV, his addiction, and the eight-step framework he developed in recovery. Is Davey Lloyd still sober?Yes — two years sober at the time of this recording. Resources Pre-order his ebook today Tin Man: Why I Traded Sex, Drugs & Parties for Sobriety — available on ⁠Amazon⁠ You can find more of ⁠Davey on his Instagram page⁠ Find more Danielle on her website -  More from Danielle: ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠Or go and say hi on Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ or ⁠@bigstuffpodcast⁠ If this one landed for you, send it to someone who needs to hear it — you never know who's sitting in their own car right now, music cranked, not realising it yet.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a comment — it genuinely helps the show find more ears.

    Davey Lloyd (The Bachelorette) on Addiction, Getting Sober & Learning Who He Is Without The Masks

  2. 6d ago

    Life Balance Isn't Enough To Create A Meaningful Life. But This Will.

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text For years, Danielle thought life balance was the most important thing she had to teach. She wrote a book about it. She took it into keynotes and boardrooms across the country. And she wasn't wrong — the Chocolate Bar Life Theory has genuinely changed lives. But then her mum was given permission to end her life after 37 years with multiple sclerosis, and everything Danielle thought she knew shifted into something deeper.  In this season finale solo episode, Danielle shares the evolution of her thinking — from how do I fit more good things in to the question that actually matters: what makes a life worth living, knowing that it ends? This one is for anyone who is getting very good at a life they haven't consciously chosen. Chapters 00:00 — Introduction: Why Danielle is changing her message  03:30 — The Chocolate Bar Life Theory: work, rest and play explained  10:00 — What even the best version of balance doesn't answer  13:00 — The Mumdays: what happened when Danielle's mum ran out of time  19:30 — What her mum actually wanted at the end (it wasn't a bucket list)  23:00 — "We are all dying" — the keynote slide that changed the room  26:00 — The question that replaces "how do I balance my life"  28:30 — Two thinking points to take away Key Takeaways Life balance is essential — but it's the preschool version of a much bigger questionThe Chocolate Bar Life Theory (work, rest, play as nougat, caramel, chocolate) is a powerful framework for preventing burnout, but it assumes you already know what a good life looks likeWhen time is genuinely finite, the flashy bucket list stuff falls away fast — what remains is simpler and more importantWe live as if we have infinite time. We don't. That's not a reason to panic; it's a reason to get clearThe real question isn't how do I balance my life — it's what kind of life am I actually trying to buildFAQs What is the Chocolate Bar Life Theory? It's Danielle's framework for life balance, based on the Mars Bar — nougat (work and responsibility), caramel (rest and restoration), chocolate (play and pleasure). All three need to be present, not equal, for a satisfying life. She wrote about it in her book The Chocolate Bar Life. What are the Mumdays? The Mumdays are the weekly Monday visits Danielle had with her mum during the final months of her life, after her mum was granted permission for voluntary assisted dying. They became the basis for Danielle's upcoming book Mumdays, releasing March 2027. What is voluntary assisted dying? Voluntary assisted dying (VAD) is a legal process in Australia that allows eligible people with a terminal illness to choose the timing and manner of their death. Danielle's mum, who had lived with multiple sclerosis for 37 years, was granted this permission. Danielle speaks about this openly and with warmth. References & Links Danielle Colley — daniellecolley.com.au The Chocolate Bar Life- available on Amazon, Booktopia and wherever you buy your books Mumdays — coming March 2027 Instagram: @iamdaniellecolley If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who is running hard at a life they haven't stopped to question. And if you want to be the first to hear about Mumdays when it drops, get on Danielle's list at daniellecolley.com.au. Season 3 of Big Stuff is back in August. See you then.

    Life Balance Isn't Enough To Create A Meaningful Life. But This Will.

  3. Sep 23

    She Left A 'Good' Marriage To Find Her Soul - Dr Toni Reilly

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Dr Toni Reilly had a lovely enough husband. Sixteen years together, and not one single argument. By every measure, her marriage was fine — and she left anyway.  This episode was meant to be about SoulLife® Psychology, the framework Toni's spent two decades building.  Instead it became a deep, unfiltered conversation about intuition, mediumship, past lives, and what happens after we die.  Danielle and Toni go completely off script — and it's one of the most candid, curious conversations Big Stuff has had.  KEY TAKEAWAYS -  ●     A relationship can be genuinely good and still not be right for you.  ●     Self-awareness often starts with someone else naming what you can't see in yourself.  ●     SoulLife® Psychology reframes difficult experiences as "soul contracts" — not to excuse harm, but to find meaning on the other side of it. ●     You don't have to become a different person to explore this stuff.   FAQS What is SoulLife® Psychology? A framework developed by Dr Toni Reilly that combines traditional psychology with intuition, metaphysics and past-life work.  What is past life regression? A therapeutic technique, popularised by psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss, that guides a person into a relaxedstate to recall experiences from past lives, with the goal of understanding and releasing patterns or fears in their current life. What are the five "bruises" or foundations in Toni's framework? Rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation and injustice — each one shaping a different way a person processes the world and relates to others. Find more about Dr Toni Reilly and SoulLife Psychology -  ⁠Website ⁠ ⁠Instagram ⁠ References -  ●     ⁠Many Lives, Many Masters — Dr Brian Weiss — https://www.brianweiss.com⁠ ●     ⁠Arthur Findlay College, Stansted, UK — https://www.arthurfindlaycollege.org⁠ ●     ⁠David the Medium (Instagram) — https://www.instagram.com/davidthemedium⁠ Find more on Danielle ●      ⁠Danielle Colley website⁠ ●  Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠  If this episode stretched you a little, share it with one person who might like it.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and drop a comment — it genuinely helps the show find more ears.  See you next time for more Big Stuff

    She Left A 'Good' Marriage To Find Her Soul - Dr Toni Reilly

  4. Sep 16

    30 Years Obsessed With A Killer - Vikki Petraitis

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Two weeks before a serial killer's parole hearing, a podcast dropped. Two million downloads later, his bid was denied — and Parliament changed the law so he could never apply again.  That's not the origin story of this episode's guest.  That's just another day for her. Vikki Petraitis has spent thirty years walking into the middle of other people's worst days — sitting with grieving families, hardened homicide detectives, and every crime scene in between — and turning it into fourteen true crime books, two Casefile Presents podcast series, and now a run of crime fiction being adapted for ABC and BBC as DUSTFALL.  In this episode, Danielle sits down with Vikki to find out how a primary school teacher ended up keeping a serial killer behind bars, why women are wired to consume true crime, and what thirty years of looking directly at the worst of humanity has taught her about the best of it.  What happened with Paul Denyer's parole bid? His first parole application, in 2023, was denied. In November of that year, Victorian Parliament passed a unanimous amendment to the Crimes Act specifically so he can never apply for parole again. Is Vikki Petraitis's fiction based on real cases? Not as direct retellings, but her Antigone Pollard crime novels (The Unbelieved and The Stolen) draw on patterns and injustices — low conviction rates, victim-blaming, workplace misogyny — that Vikki observed across thirty years of true crime reporting. Where can I find Vikki's books and podcasts? Her true crime books include The Frankston Murders and The Phillip Island Murder. Her Casefile Presents podcast series include The Frankston Murders and The Vanishing of Vivienne Cameron. Her crime fiction (The Unbelieved, The Stolen) is being adapted for ABC/BBC as DUSTFALL. Full links below. Where you can find Vikki Petraitis -  Website - ⁠vikkipetraitis.com.au⁠ ⁠Instagram: @vikkipetraitis⁠ ⁠Facebook: Vikki Petraitis - Crime Writer⁠ Vikki's Books mentioned: The Frankston Murders: 25 Years On The Phillip Island Murder The Unbelieved The Stolen Vikki's Podcasts mentioned:  The Frankston Murders (Casefile Presents) The Vanishing of Vivienne Cameron (Casefile Presents) The Unthinkable (with Emily Webb). Find more Danielle Colley -  Website - ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠  Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ Or get in touch at bigstuffpodcast@gmail.com Chapters 0:00  Two million downloads and a law that changed 1:30  From primary school teacher to true crime writer 5:00  The case that started it all  10:00  Why women read true crime 14:00  Inside The Frankston Murders 18:00  Humanising the victims 20:30  The psychology of manipulation 24:00  The fight to keep a serial killer behind bars  28:00  How a podcast and a community changed the law 31:00  From true crime to fiction  35:00  Turning real-world misogyny into crime fiction 39:00  The best and worst of humanity  43:00  Close — two thinking points If this episode got under your skin the way it got under ours, send it to one person who'd get something out of it.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and drop a comment or review — it genuinely helps this show reach more ears.

    30 Years Obsessed With A Killer - Vikki Petraitis

  5. Sep 9

    What Nobody Warns You About Quitting Alcohol

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text So many people on social media rave that quitting alcohol was the best thing they ever did. Danielle is nine months sober and here to tell you that's not quite her story.  In this solo How Are You Really? episode, she gets honest about what actually changes when you stop drinking — and what doesn't — including the identity hit of no longer being "the fun one," the physical response she now gets around drunk people, and the family history that surfaced once the alcohol was gone. This isn't a highlight reel. It's sleep, skin, and clarity on one side, and grief, social awkwardness, and an unresolved "is this forever?" on the other.  Danielle also opens up about how quitting has impacted her marriage — a topic she's dedicating a full episode to soon. Chapters  0:00 — Real Talk : Why quitting alcohol isn't "the best thing I've ever done" 1:15 — The slow process of quitting4:00 — "You're not fun anymore" 8:00 — What has replaced cutting loose 11:00 — The physical/nervous-system response she now has around booze14:00 — Family history of boozing and what has surfaced18:00 — What actually changed physically 21:30 — Sober friendships 24:00 — Letting go of the "party girl" identity27:00 — Not being able to medicate feelings 30:00 — Clarity, intuition, and whether she recommends it32:00 — Is this forever? 34:00 — Closing thoughts + two questions for youKey Takeaways Quitting alcohol isn't a clean before/after — at 8.5 months, Danielle still has moments of wanting a drink, and that's normal.The hardest part isn't physical — it's identity. Losing the "fun" or "party girl" label brings up real grief and social friction.Alcohol had been quietly numbing feelings around her dad's death, her divorce, and early solo parenting — sobriety means feeling all of it, raw.Sleep and skin improved noticeably; weight didn't move the way she expected.This is being held as an ongoing experiment, not a forever decision — and that's okay.Thinking Points  What part of your journey with alcohol are you at right now — is your drinking habitual or intentional?What are your own assumptions about people who don't drink — and where do you think those came from?Resources & References Mentioned Previous Big Stuff episode  - ⁠The Elephant In The Wine Glass⁠Previous Big Stuff episode - ⁠Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause⁠Huberman Lab - What Alcohol Does To Your Brain, Body and Health Thanks for listening to this episode of Big Stuff podcast. If it landed for you, share it with one person who needs it, drop a comment, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Find out more about Danielle at daniellecolley.com.au.

    What Nobody Warns You About Quitting Alcohol

  6. Sep 2

    What 500 Lunches With Strangers Taught an Introvert About Confidence

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text What happens if an introvert who avoids parties decides, on purpose, to have lunch with 500 total strangers? Nick Bendel found out — one uncomfortable lunch at a time, over six years. In this conversation, Nick and Danielle talk about the lunch that left him speechless, the one where a stranger cried in the first twenty minutes, the one that ended with him salsa dancing against his will — and what all of it taught him about confidence, connection, and the stories we tell ourselves about how we're being perceived. This one will change how you think about the parties, meetings, and rooms you've been avoiding. Key Takeaways: Confidence doesn't come before the brave thing — it shows up after, once you've already done it.Introverts aren't bad at connection. Most of them are just bad at the loud, fast, "work the room" version of networking nobody actually enjoys.The insecurities you're sure everyone can see are almost always invisible to them — they're too busy managing their own.Trust isn't built by being interesting. It's built by being genuinely interested in the person in front of you.Social courage is a muscle, not a personality trait — small, repeated, uncomfortable actions build it, and it weakens if you stop using it.FAQs: What is "social courage"? Nick's term for doing something in a social setting despite the fear of judgement, rejection, or embarrassment — choosing exposure over avoidance, before you feel ready.How did Nick actually find 500 strangers to have lunch with? Almost entirely cold messages on LinkedIn, plus a handful of emails, cold calls, and introductions — including one memorable Google-stalking mission to track down a hostage negotiator.Is this really a book about networking? Not in the traditional sense — it's less about building a contact list and more about what happens to your confidence and self-understanding when you deliberately put yourself in front of strangers, again and again. 00:00 – The introvert/extrovert misconception 02:00 – Why Nick decided to have lunch with 500 strangers 06:00 – Lunch #1: flying to Melbourne to meet Kaley Chu 10:30 – Rebranding "I'm not good at peopling" 18:00 – The most awkward lunch he ever had 21:00 –  How he built rapport  31:30 – How six years of honesty rewired him 33:30 – The Gay Boxing World Championships 42:00 – The real secret to connection 45:30 – Social courage as a muscle you have to keep exercising 52:00 – What 500 different lives taught him about being human 56:30 – The salsa dancing story 59:30 – What he'd say to anyone stuck on the sidelines 61:00 – Closing thoughtsReferences & Links: Nick's book: The 500 Lunches Effect (Publish Central, $34.95)Nick Bendel websiteNick's LinkedIn profileSee more Danielle -  daniellecolley.com.auPodcast contact: bigstuffpod@gmail.comCall to Action: Grab a copy of The 500 Lunches Effect, and this week, pick one person you've been meaning to reach out to — and send the message.

    What 500 Lunches With Strangers Taught an Introvert About Confidence

  7. Aug 26

    Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause and Menopause; Sleep Psychologist Explains

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Dr Michelle Olaithe has spent her career inside sleep labs and university research, obsessed with what happens to the brain when sleep breaks down.  Now she's turning that expertise on perimenopause and menopause — treating sleep and hormones as the same problem, not two separate ones.  Danielle and Michelle get into testosterone (the hormone nobody talks about), why melatonin isn't a sleeping pill, and why "fix your sleep" is never as simple as it sounds. Michelle has kindly sent Big Stuff podcast a sleep and menopause handout, plus a sleep diary and a summary sheet of hormones and impacts on sleep for you.  Please email danielle@daniellecolley.com.au and we will send it right over.  Chapters  0:00 — Why Michelle is obsessed with sleep5:00 — Danielle's lifelong "radio station" brain and ADHD7:00 — The statistics of women and sleep9:00 —When sleep issues need real intervention13:00 — When to start investigating16:00 — The hormone nobody talks about22:00 — Why HRT isn't a silver bullet for sleep25:00 — Becoming your own detective29:00 — Melatonin myths 35:00 — How much sleep do you actually need?42:00 — It's not always biology47:00 — Masking, neurodivergence, and "the hag"50:00 — Why childhood stuff resurfaces now52:00 — Alcohol and sleep — the real cost54:00 — Wrap-up: good health is a spectrum Key Takeaways 40–60% of women going through perimenopause and menopause experience disrupted sleep — it's the majority, not the exception.Testosterone is the most overlooked hormone in HRT conversations, and it plays a major role in cognitive function.Melatonin isn't a sleeping pill — it's a rhythm-setter, and most people take it the wrong way.HRT alone doesn't guarantee good sleep — it often still needs its own routine, investigation, and support.Disrupted sleep can sometimes be pointing to something else entirely — unresolved boundaries, relationship dynamics, or things worth sitting with rather than fixing immediately. FAQs Does HRT fix perimenopause sleep problems? Not always — HRT helps a lot of people, but sleep often needs its own separate investigation and routine on top of it.What's the right way to take melatonin? As a small, consistent dose taken at the same time each evening to set your body's rhythm — not as a rescue dose once you're already awake at night.Why does testosterone matter for women in perimenopause? It's declining with age (not just menopause) and has a major impact on cognitive function, brain fog, and libido — but it's rarely included in standard HRT.References & Links Dr Michelle Olaithe — ⁠The Sleep Psychologist ⁠Michelle's TEDxMandurah talk, ⁠"Science of Sleep"⁠ Related episodes: Michelle's previous Big Stuff appearance on narcissism -⁠ Are You Misdiagnosing Your Relationship? ⁠ Danielle's experience with her late in life adhd diagnosis and how peri impacted that - ADHD and Perimenopause; Danielle's Midlife Diagnosis Danielle Colley: daniellecolley.com.au If this episode helped you make sense of your own sleep, share it with one woman who needs to hear it.

    Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause and Menopause; Sleep Psychologist Explains

  8. Aug 19

    The Buzz Cut; Midlife Crisis or A Reckoning?

    Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text When a fifty-year-old woman shaves her head, everyone assumes one of two things: midlife crisis or rebellion.  In this episode, Danielle takes you through the real timeline — from the moment she first wanted to do it, the day her mum died, through a conversation in Turkey that cracked something open, to sitting in a barber's chair on her 50th birthday. It's not about hair. It's about grief, identity, beauty standards, and the moments we talk ourselves out of the thing we already know we need to do. KEY TAKEAWAYS Grief has unspoken rules about how "tidy" it's supposed to look — and shaving her head when her mum died would have broken themA friend's experience with alopecia universalis reframed hair as costume rather than identity, and reframed choice as something to actually useThe urge to shave her head became a hyperfixation in the lead-up — and she couldn't tell if that made it less real or more realThe moment of surrender came from getting tired of dithering, not from a big epiphanyFive weeks on, she's not rushing to grow it back — because the growing-back is often the real tell of whether the change was ever about anything at allFAQS Was this actually a midlife crisis? Danielle unpacks this directly in the episode — and lands somewhere more interesting than a straight yes or no. What made her finally do it? A conversation in Turkey with a friend who has Alopecia Universalis, nearly a year after she first wanted to shave her head when her mum died. Is she going to grow it back? Not yet, and possibly not for a while — she talks about treating it as a chapter rather than a one-off moment. REFERENCES / LINKS Related episode: Carolyn's story on living with Alopecia Universalis Related episode: The Sausage Mincer of MidlifeCALL TO ACTION Send Danielle your "How Are You Really?" questions at bigstuffpod@gmail.com — she reads every one. Share this with a friend who is ready to do something just for them regardless of what society says.

    The Buzz Cut; Midlife Crisis or A Reckoning?
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About

You know who's going through BIG STUFF? Literally everyone. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference.  Award-winning author and life coach Danielle Colley gets real about the relentless expectations we put on ourselves, the comparison trap, and the gap between how life looks and how it actually feels. For ambitious women who may be crushing their goals but are feeling crushed by them. Conversations that matter. A little advice, a little inspiration, and a lot of humanness. No toxic positivity - just raw honesty about what it really takes to thrive. If you're burnt out from achieving everything or tired of pretending it's all fine, this is for you. Because life should feel GOOD to live. New episodes weekly Follow @daniellecolley

Information

  • Creator
    Danielle Colley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    53
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Big Stuff With Danielle Colley
  • Show Website
    Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

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