We Need To Talk - Real Talk Unfiltered

Real Talk: Unfiltered

Real Talk: Unfiltered What does “resilience” really mean? For years, I thought it meant “pushing through.” Then a traumatic brain injury (TBI) shattered my old self and taught me that true strength is found in grace, not grit. This is my story of: Losing my voice literally: I called Portobello ("mushrooms-goblin-pasta”). Almost missing my son’s birthday… and the hug that saved me. Rebelling against doctors who said I’d “never recover past 70%.” Flying to India broken and finding peace in breath-work, yoga, and silence. Learning what healing really means

  1. 11/28/2025

    We Need to Talk "Goes Dutch" - My Story & That of MONQ: Volume One - The Awakening of his Manifestation

    We Need to Talk "Goes Dutch" - Episode with DJ & Producer MONQ This is the conversation I've been wanting to have. MONQ is a DJ & producer who became one of the fastest growing artists in the Netherlands in 2024, hitting Spotify charts with "Vannacht slaap je bij mij" and "Fallin in Love."  His track "Loco" entered the Latin Spotify charts, marking his signature summer sound. But this episode isn't about chart positions. It's about what happened when MONQ, is videographer, and I traveled to Spain with nothing but a vision, meeting two artists we'd never met before (one from Cuba, one from Spain) to shoot two music videos for two hit songs. No safety net. Just trust in the universe and the process. In this episode, we talk about: What happens when you show up with nothing but beliefHow abundance flows when you give without expectingThe power of positive energy and positive peopleBooks and life lessons that shaped our pathsStrengthening real friendship in just a few daysWhy hard work + universal timing = magicTrusting the process when nothing is guaranteed MONQ has traveled the world with Afrobros and worked with Zion, Ape Drums, Mariah Angeliq, and more. But now he's following his own path, guided by trust, the universe, and the people who show up when it matters. This is his FIRST podcast ever. Raw, honest, vulnerable. We talk about success, struggle, Spain, meditation on beaches, and what really matters when the cameras stop rolling. This is "We Need to Talk" going Dutch for the first time. Episode Topics: Artist life and mental healthTrust and abundance mindsetSpain adventures and creative collaborationLatin music inspirationFriendship and positive energyLife lessons and personal growth More to come in 2026 CONNECT WITH MONQ:  Youtube: @heyMoNQ TikTok: @heymonq  Spotify: MONQ This episode is about trust, abundance, positive energy, and what happens when you show up with nothing but belief in the universe and the people around you.

    1h 26m
  2. 09/24/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: The Body Keeps the Score - Finding Myself Through "Trauma Sensitive Yoga"

    My Newest Story About TCTSY. 📌Timestamps: 00:00 - Opening & Setting the Stage We Need To Talk: important and hopeful episodeRaw honesty about the TBI journey 01:50 - The Broken Reality After TBI Living in body that wasn't mine12cm skull crack, brain bleed, 20 minutes non-responsiveWaking up not as myself, a scared stranger 03:50 - The Male Response: Power Through Building walls, shutting down, dealing aloneYou can't bully a nervous system into healingDeeper knowing “you need something different" 05:55 - Introduction to TCTSY Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga explainedScientific clinical lifeline, not woo-wooFinally coming home to myself 07:02 - The Science Behind Healing How movement rewires traumatised brainsNeuroception & Interoception concepts 08:18 - Understanding Neuroception Dr. Porges and Polyvagal TheoryNervous system's security scannerMy TBI threw my whole system out of whack 10:30 - When Everything Becomes Threat Living in constant alert for year after accidentSupermarkets too loud, restaurants overwhelming11:38 - Dr. van der Kolk's Breakthrough “The Body Keeps the Score" impactPartnership with Yogi David EmersonLanguage older than words 14:30 - The Deeper Intelligence Wisdom beyond ancient survival partsIntelligence that doesn't get trauma-damaged 15:26 - What Makes TCTSY Different Not about perfect posesWorking with your neuroceptive system16:21 - Three Pillars of Safety No physical adjustmentsInvitational language 18:03 - Revolutionary Power of Choice Choices violently taken in accidentsGetting keys to your own house backNo right way 20:01 - Understanding Interoception Feel what's happening inside your bodyHow trauma shatters this connection 22:10 - The Guided Tour Home Practice in interoceptive awarenessComing back to your skin safely 23:50 - The Witness Consciousness Finding the part that watches the storm without being itBuilding new neural pathways 25:40 - Invitation to Experience Optional “Guided practice” Complete control over experience 27:30 - Noticing Support Notising contact points with supportThe quiet observer always there 30:01 - Breath Awareness Not changing the breath, just noticingBody knowing how to breathe 31:31 - Making Conscious Choice Movement optionsNo right or wrong choices 32:42 - Exploring Internal Experience Noticing what happens during movementThat deeper knowing, without thinking 34:30 - Integration and Return to the Now You just practiced: Introception, Agency, Present moment experiences. 37:32 - My Journey Back Home From passenger to driver againArms-above-head triggering experience 39:00 - Accessing Wisdom Beyond Logic Simple act revealing deeper intelligenceBuilding trust week by week 41:41 - The Deeper Teaching Not my thoughts, pain, rage, anxietyWeather patterns passing through 43:30 - From Healing to Helping Recovery is meant to be sharedBecoming certified TCTSY facilitator 45:10 - Stories of Transformation Veterans learning stillnessSurvivors discovering hidden strengthOffering Choice and Safety 48:15 - The Evolving Science Growing research backing practicesLiteral brain structure changes50:50 - Beyond "Big T" Trauma Cutting-edge neuroscience with ancient wisdomWe all need this work 52:02 - Message to Listeners My recovery isn't over, still managing dailyNo longer stranger in own life 54:08 - Your Body Is Not Enemy Hypervigilance as protectionWork is to listen and befriend it 55:47 - You Don't Have to Do This Alone People who understandFacilitators trained in trauma-sensitive approaches 56:33 - My Promise to You 12cm crack, massive brain bleed, lost so longIf I found way back, so can youYour story matters because YOU matter 57:26 - Almost Closing Gratitude Thank you for courage to keep goingTrust your body knows the way home 58:26 - The Buddhi Revelation Deeper wisdom mentioned 11 timesPromise to explain ancient wisdom next episode 60:00 - End Please Dance in the Rain like nobody watching

    1h 1m
  3. 08/24/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: Ego & The Gap Between Knowing and Doing

    📌Timestamps: - Ego & The Gap Between Knowing & Doing 00:00 - Introduction & Setting the Stage Opening thoughts on Ego - The Gap between Knowing & Doing  01:30 - The Two Conversations Conversation with Swami Anand Swatantra “ Ego”Hart-to-Heart talks with Alice about vulnerability & traumaWhat triggered me to make this episode 02:37 - My TBI Survivor's Unique Perspective Learning everything twice: before and after injuryHow trauma changes the relationship between knowing and doingThe universe as my patient teacher 04:41 - Before the Injury: The Control Illusion Believing I could work and think through everythingThe analytical approach to lifeHow trauma stripped away these illusions 05:43 - Doing Mind vs. Thinking Mind Accessing different parts of my consciousnessIntroduction to Buddhi - Intuitive intelligenceHow my Thinking mind demands guarantees vs my Doing mind learns through action 06:55 - Relearning Trust in my Doing Mind Post-injury experiences with body memoryWhen hands remember what the mind forgotThe Intelligence that exists beyond analytical mind 08:08 - Ego's Temporal Prison Eckhart Tolle's teaching on ego and the present momentEgo's past and futurePersonal experience rebuilding sense of selfTrapped between regret and anxiety 10:08 - Practice of my Presence Ritual Karma yoga “The path of selfless action”Relearning basic functions after my TBIWhat problem exists in the Now 12:08 - TBI Teaching: When Survival Becomes an Awakening The messy reality of Trauma recoveryTwo years on the couch as my safety zoneGabor Maté's teaching on Ego preferring familiar pain over growth 14:36 - The Moment of Realisation Difference between Thinking, Trying, and DoingThe Magic of instant feedbackWhy “Trying" to me means setting myself up to Fail 16:36 - My Daily Practice of Defiance Standing up to my ego-mindAction over AnalysingMy 60-minute journey to the fenceBreaking down the timeline of recovery 18:38 - Two States: Doing and Not Doing Eliminating "trying" as middle ground"I did it, just didn't succeed this time"The Action of doing itself is Success, regardless the outcome 19:43 - When Soul Gets Edged Out Deepak Chopra and “Edging God Out"Post-injury disconnection from selfWaking up in a stranger’s life and bodyFeeling like a ghost in my own existence 22:28 - Being Erased from the Self How Ego edged Me outReconnection to the self and the UniverseYou are NOT your thoughts 24:10 - The Space Between Stimulus and Response Rebuilding the pause that trauma collapsesThe Trauma Sensitive Yoga training insightsCreating conditions for choice to emerge 26:14 - Trauma Sensitive Yoga’s Invitation Inviting Awareness through the BodyThe Radical possibility of choiceThe space where agency livesRelearning the sensations of the body 28:15 - What my Brain Injury and Old Trauma Stole from me  I am NOT My Reactions, I am NOT My PainIt’s My Choice of what comes NextThe space where healing lives 30:17 - My Truth about Trusting my Doing Mind Emotions still gets scrambledPractice of stepping back from all the confusionIt’s Not about Control over the MindThe Ego Voice wants to keep you Small 33:57 - The Real Question about Knowing & Doing Are You willing to do the Next Right Thing?Staying Awake and Aware to Receive Answers Invitation to take Action from a place of NOT KnowingBe willing to start taking the next step 36:06 - Three Perspectives on Ego Tolle's: Dysfunctional relationship with presentChopra's: E.G.O. as Edging God OutMaté's: Trauma Informed protective mechanism of Ego 38:14 - Closing Wisdom The When of Tolle, The What of Chopra andThe Why of MatéThe Beauty of Rebuilding  my sense of self Ego is not my enemy anymore 40:59 - Namaste & Sign-off Short answer to the question from Alice!Keep dancing in the rain like nobody is watching Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional These are all my experience as I live with my TBI

    42 min
  4. 08/07/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: The Connection Between Pain, Focus, and Breath (How One Broken System Nearly Destroyed Me)

    📌 TIMESTAMPS Real Talk Unfiltered 00:00 - Introduction: The Connected Crisis We need to talk about pain, focus, and breath, and how discovering they're the same problem with the same solution changed everything 01:07 - The Questions That Changed My Perspective How do I handle pain with breath work. How do I keep focus with sensory overload? These seemed like different problems I was wrong 02:34 - What Is Going On Inside of Me I have Left Temporal Brain Damage, with Emotional Regulation Problems, Memorie lost, and Sensory Overloads. And the 24 hour pains 04:40 - The Research Rabbit Hole  Month 20 after my accident, still trying to understand why my brain was glitching daily. Nobody explained why everything felt disconnected yet connected 06:35 - The Left Temporal Discovery Left temporal lobe injury where language, emotions, and sensory filtering live When damaged, it's like a computer virus corrupting multiple programs 07:52 - The Hemisphere Disruption My left and right brain trying to dance to different songs. One hyperactive, one under-active. Pain wasn't just physical - my nervous system was stuck in permanent alarm mode 11:03 - The Breakthrough Realisation Interconnection symptom clusters: Pain amplifies focus problems. Focus problems increase emotional dysregulation. And the Emotional dysregulation makes the pain worst It's one broken system, manifesting and reacting in three reactions 12:20 - Rishikesh Breakthrough  India, lying in bed after yoga, crying quietly. My teacher mentioned nervous system regulation through breath. Desperation led to breakthrough 12:26 - The 1-4-2 Breathing Discovery  Breathe in for 4, pauze for 16, exhale for 8. First time since my accident I could focus on just two thing without seventeen other inputs 17:14 - The Three Game-Changing Techniques After that breakthrough, I became focused on breath work. These aren't just breathing exercises - they are my neurological medicine 19:00 - Modified Nadi Shodhana Thumb closes right nostril, breathe in left 4 , close the nose with your left ring finger hold for 8, exhale right 6. Each nostril connects to opposite brain hemisphere 23:52 - Modified Bhramari Thumbs in ears, fingers over eyes and face, hum like a bee. Vagal toning, brain tissue massage, reduces inflammation. 28:28 - Daily Application System Knowing techniques vs. applying them in real life My morning system assessment and pain management protocols 31:41 - Morning Pain Protocol & Early Warning System Squinting eyes, thousand-yard stare, then pain wave The moment I recognise this sequence, I NEED TO STOP 34:18 - Focus & Sensory Overload Management Micro resets every 20 minutes small breathing practice 30 minute work blocks. Social situations drain brains of people with a TBI, bathroom break to resets 41:30 - The Science Behind Why It Works Neuroplasticity in action. Understanding WHY changers the HOW Controlled neurological input teaches damaged brains new patterns. Chemical and electrical rebalancing 44:00 - Critical Recovery Points Start slowly, consistency beats intensity, listen to your system, track responses Your injured brain might feel overwhelmed initially 45:19 - Redefining Control Control isn't making everything go back. It's working with reality instead of fighting a fake reality Pain is still there, but I can breathe through it 46:52 - It I’sn’t about positive thinking or pretending everything is fine Your breathing can help you Teach your brain new pathways in your brain Remember it won’t always work, but thats fine It’s how we react to it that matters 49:08 - Closing: Your Breath is Always Accessible I'm not saying breath-work cures brain injuries. Your breath is the one thing always available 51:30 - Sometimes the Solution isn’t  Multiple Treatments Sometimes it Just One Thing that brings you the Solution, listen to your body and to what your brain needs Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional This is all my personal experience as I live with my TBI

    53 min
  5. 07/16/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: When Your Brain Says STOP !

    We Need To Talk - My Story: When My Brain Said STOP Before my TBI, hustling until 10 PM was normal. I believed rest was earned — not needed. Then my brain collapsed. This is the truth about Traumatic Brain Injury fatigue: why it’s not exhaustion, why ‘pushing through’ destroys me, and how my son’s recognition of my neurological crash (when others saw attitude) became proof I needed radical change. Rest isn’t weakness, it’s survival." 📌Timestamps: - Unlearning Old Habits  00:00 - Introduction: The Rest Lies We Believe "We need to talk about rest... What if everything you thought you knew about rest was actually keeping you from healing!” 01:15 - Unlearning: "Rest is Earned, Not Needed" "The old me believed fatigue could be conquered with willpower... Society tells us productivity equals worth. My brain injury forced me to unlearn this." 03:15 - TBI Fatigue: What People Get WRONG "It's NOT laziness. It's NOT exhaustion you can push through. My brain runs on 10% battery trying to run high demand programs. This is neurological NOT physiological.” 05:15 - My Reality: When Your Brain Short Circuits "98% of TBI survivors experience one form of fatigue. It's a ripple effect: damaged areas force your brain to work harder, burning energy faster. Simple tasks become detours around collapsed bridges." 07:22 - Recognising the Crash: My Body's Shutdown Signals "Squinting eyes... staring into nothingness... and the shutdown. This is 'pathological mental fatigue' my brain saying 'NO MORE.' On of my resets is  my 1-4-2 breathing technique." 09:17 - The Breaking Point: New Year's Eve in LA "Pushing through led to disaster: a plain flight, a party, a guessing game, and a neurological shutdown. Adults saw attitude; my son saw the crash. That night, I broke. The 'push-through' person had to die." 13:35 - Recovery Truth: Healing Isn't Linear "Monday: conquer the world. Tuesday: crushed by a phone call. This isn't failure, it's your brain rebuilding. Your capacity changes daily. Work with it." 15:10 - Unlearning Urgency: Rest Can't Wait "I had to stop scheduling rest like a meeting. When the crash comes, it doesn't care about your plans. Fighting it extends recovery. I learned to respond earlier.” 16:16 - My New Rest Rituals (Part 1): Micro-Resets 1. One-Minute Stillness Break: Stop. Breathe. Do nothing. Permission granted.2. My 1-4-2 Breathing: Inhale (6s) → Pause || Hold (24s) → Exhale (12s). 10-20 reps until I un-crash….This resets your parasympathatic nervous system." 18:08 - My New Rest Rituals (Part 2): Body & Awareness 3. Heat || Cold Grounding: Ice cubes, cold water, hot (warm) shower to shock your system to focus.4. Nervous System Journaling: Track body signals & triggers. Build your early warning system. 5. The Protection Question: 'What will resting NOW protect me from? And my answers to this question. 20:27 - Redefining Rest: It’s Not Just Sleep "Silence. Closing your eyes for 5 minutes. Removing stimulation. Meditation || Yoga. Even gentle exercise builds stamina. Rest is active neurological care." 21:30 - For Loved Ones: How to Truly Support Us "When we say we need rest: BELIEVE US. Don’t push 'one more game.' Help us find a quiet spot. This is medical selfcare for a chronic condition. A hug helps a lot too.” 24:00 - The Hope: Rest is Resistance "Rest makes me STRONGER. I honour pre-crashes now. My peace matters more than your pace. To the 27 million new TBI survivors yearly:  You are not alone.  Your brain knows. Listen.  Join the conversation: #howsilencehelpedme  #WeNeedToTalk #rest #realtalkunfiltered #TBI #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #TBISurvivor  To anyone fighting silent battles:  You are not your trauma.  Not your worst day.  You're the space where healing happens. ! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. This is all my personal experience as I live with my TBI. Keep dancing in the rain like nobody is watching. Talk again soon.

    25 min
  6. 07/07/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: How Choosing Silence Helped me Take Back Control

    "In this episode, I share the turning point in my TBI recovery when I realized that staying silent could actually protect my peace more than explaining ever could. I'll walk you through how brain injury changed my emotional responses, why my limbic system was stuck in overdrive, and how I learned to use 'down-regulation' as survival medicine. From lightning fast reactions to intentional silence, from needing constant validation to finding peace within, this is the story of how I stopped burning out my energy trying to be understood and started protecting what matters most: my inner calm. If you've ever felt exhausted from over-explaining yourself, if you struggle with emotional regulation, or if you're curious about the neuroscience behind choosing silence as strength, this episode is for you. 📌Timestamps: 00:00 - Opening/Topic Introduction - "We need to talk, talk about the moment I stopped defending myself and started choosing silence instead." 01:00 - Brain Injury Explanation Begins - "How could I stay silent when my T.B.I has taken control over my brain's ability to process thoughts, regulate emotions..."   03:04 - Left Temporal Lobe Impact - "My accident caused that my left temporal lobe got severely damaged." It's a survival of the brain encountering fear, confusion, frustration, uncertainty.  04:05 - The Early Struggles - "It felt like the left side of my body just stopped working while my right side wanted to survive. No tools and knowledge to help myself.  05:49 - 10-Year Journey - "Over the past ten years, I've had to figure out and find ways to accept and adapt." 07:16 - Healing Through Content Creation - "Making these video's and podcasts is so helpful for my healing." 08:26 - Instant Reactions Phase - "Acknowledging now that my reactions in the first 6-7 years after my TBI were instant, and as fast as lightning..." 09:37 - The Invisible Injury - "This is what living with a brain injury looks and feels like explained from my perspective." 10:52 - Not Recognising Pain Fear, Emotions- “It is so scary to not even recognise your own pain, fears and emotions, it is even scarier when you can’t see them in others” 12:36 - The Turning Point - "And that's where the answer to your question comes in. Choosing silence for me has never just been an emotional choice."   13:47 - Down Regulation Technique - "Later I found out this was clinically called 'down-regulation" 15:52 - Survival Medicine - "For me, a TBI survivor, this isn't just a calming technique. This is survival medicine." 18:05 - Taking Power Back - "By reclaiming the power within my internal space, helped me  change." 19:48 - People's Reactions to Silence - "What I see happening around me now is, that people don't know how to handle my peaceful silence." 21:00 - Detachment vs Avoidance - "My silence isn't an avoidance of them. It's a detachment from them and reconnection to myself." 22:22 - Not Needing Understanding - "But that kind of peace doesn't come from being understood. It comes when you stop needing to be understood..." 24:11 - Being Careful vs Fearful - "I'm careful now. Careful who I trust, who im love and who I give my energy to.. don’t mistake Careful for Fearful." 25:35 - Final Message - "For all the listeners: just know that I finally know my worth, my values..." My silence is a choice. 27:04 - Closing - "Hope I didn't ramble too much... Keep dancing in the rain like nobody is watching." Join the conversation: #howsilencehelpedme  #WeNeedToTalk #liveingrace #realtalkunfiltered #TBIWarrior #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #TBISurvivor  To anyone fighting silent battles:  You are not your trauma.  Not your worst day.  You're the space where healing happens. ! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. This is all my personal experience as I live with my TBI.

    28 min
  7. 07/01/2025

    We Need To Talk - My Story: Grief, Loss, Love and their Shattering Lessons

    Grief, Love, and their Shattering Lessons… I lost my father to cancer. Then my mother, far too soon. Then I lose the love I thought would last forever. This isn’t just a story about loss, it’s about what happens when grief rewires your soul. How do you survive when the people who you loved so much are gone? When do you need to let go of the one who promised to always stay. When even your brain betrays you, forgetting words but never their love.I’ll take you through the three losses that changed everything: 1. My Dad ~ The anchor who taught me how to lovingly say goodbye in 11 unforgettable days. 2. My Mom ~ The woman who showed me how forgiveness and grace is possible even as her body failed her, and how I became an orphan. 3. Her ~ The living soul I reach for in the dark still she isn’t there. This is about the cruel math of grief: Missing them longer than you ever got to love them. About abandonment that cuts deeper than death. About fighting to reclaim your worth when loss tries to erase it. Most of all It’s a wake-up call. To you. To love harder. To hold tighter. To stop assuming there’s always "later." Trust me I’ve learned the hard way and the only thing worse than grief is regret. If you’ve ever loved, lost, or feared losing someone… this is for you. Listen, Feel and Heal 🤍 Love & light ...P 📌Timestamps: 00:00 - Seriously we need to talk : answering a Question that hit me hard and I needed to answer right away. “ What is the hardest part of loosing someone that you didn’t get enough time with”  01:13- Losing my father was one of the hardest and also most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. We were there for him, he was there for us.    05:23 - Here is the part I don’t tolk about: The hardest part of grieving him is not loosing my father, it’s so much more. 07:23 - How my TBI hits me like a hamer in missing him. Grieve has no schedule, no mercy.  08:45 - The Hardest Part & the tears of missing him the time to grow with him, the loss of missing what could be. 09:17 - Loosing my mom was so different, pain on another level. loosing her made me an orphan, is so crazy and lonely like nothing I felt before.  12:56 - My mothers wisdom : forgiveness matters - opening your heart matters - letting people in matters, and regret is a luxury that not everybody get to avoid. She showed me to how to grow even while she was dying. 14:24 - How is I fair to loose them and never to get to watch our love unfold as an adult. 15:45 - Loosing my partner made me homeless. It’s a different kind of love, one you chose for. Losing that is a different kind of grief.  17:11 - Remembering and honouring NOT what went wrong, but what went RIGHT. Even though there is pain and grieving.    19:35 - This is the hardest moment, losing her in my hardest moment in life when I became a orphan. I was left with my TBI managing the loss on another demention then a normal person. 22:32 - Grieving someone thats still alive is like trying to touch fog. With death there is a spirit you can talk to and miss, with someone that is still alive feels like loving nothingness. It’s like talking to air. 24:14 - Grief taught me that nothing is promised. Real love is always worth it. Making memories on purpose is worth it. Live now and love now before it’s gone for good. 26:18 - Grief stole my self worth. Fighting to get that back every day. I'll never forget their love, it’s inside my soul and my body remembers, my hart knows. Join the conversation: #WeNeedToTalk #liveingrace #realtalkunfiltered #TBIWarrior #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #Grief  To anyone fighting silent battles:  You are not your trauma.  Not your worst day.  You're the space where healing happens. ! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. This is all my personal experience.

    28 min

About

Real Talk: Unfiltered What does “resilience” really mean? For years, I thought it meant “pushing through.” Then a traumatic brain injury (TBI) shattered my old self and taught me that true strength is found in grace, not grit. This is my story of: Losing my voice literally: I called Portobello ("mushrooms-goblin-pasta”). Almost missing my son’s birthday… and the hug that saved me. Rebelling against doctors who said I’d “never recover past 70%.” Flying to India broken and finding peace in breath-work, yoga, and silence. Learning what healing really means