The Unmentionables Podcast

Evan and Melissa Queitsch
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health

We're Evan and Melissa. We cover the topics you’re not supposed to talk about at dinner. Politics, religion, sex, offensive humor, awkward situations, mental health, and parenting opinions are all on the table. What’s not on the table is a woke view of the world. We say what most people think but are afraid to say and we have a great time sharing our love and discussions with you. We’ll show you how to have a conversation again and how to disagree with love and respect for one another. 

  1. Sep 15

    The Myth of the Problem Child

    Send us Fan Mail Your kid’s meltdown might be real, exhausting, and scary, but it may not be the real problem. We sit down with Heather, one of our clinicians, to challenge the “fix my nine-year-old” request and explain why child behavior so often functions as the loudest symptom of a stressed family system. When we treat the child as the sole culprit, we miss the negative interaction cycle that keeps repeating at home and we accidentally train everyone to stay stuck. We walk through the model we’re building at Heart for Change: a systemic family therapy approach that starts with parent participation, accountability without shame, and skill-building that actually transfers to real life. That includes assessing what services fit best (parent work, couples counseling, individual trauma therapy, family sessions) and using tools inspired by parent-child interaction therapy to observe routines like dinner, homework, and bedtime through secure, HIPAA-compliant telehealth. The goal is simple: understand the context, then coach change where it matters. We also get practical about what helps fastest: regulate yourself first, come back to repair after conflict, and rebuild a positive relationship instead of living in constant correction. We talk teens and privacy, why some families need pacing to heal trust, and when systems work is the wrong call because safety comes first. If you’re waiting until things are “bad enough,” this conversation argues for getting help earlier, like maintenance, not emergency response. If this hits home, subscribe, share this with a parent who feels stuck, and leave a review so more families can find support. Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

  2. Aug 16

    Lindsay Clancy - A System Failure

    Send us Fan Mail A mother with three small kids reports that something is deeply wrong, her sleep collapses, her mood and cognition shift, and her fear escalates and the system responds with appointment fragments, screeners, and a revolving door of prescriptions. We’re following the Lindsay Clancy trial, but we’re not here to play lawyer. We’re here to look at postpartum depression, severe perinatal mental illness, medication management, and clinical decision-making the way providers should: through risk, oversight, and coordinated care. Content warning: we discuss suicide, infant death, and postpartum psychiatric crisis. We walk through the timeline and the medication load that builds to an unbelievable number: 13 psychiatric medications in about four months, prescribed across multiple settings. That opens the door to polypharmacy risks, side effects that mimic worsening illness, and a brutal reality the testimony keeps revealing: no one provider appears to have the complete medical record, the full med list, or the full story. We also talk about access problems that normalize shortcuts, including telehealth constraints, rushed follow-ups, and the difficulty of getting inpatient stabilization even when someone is clearly deteriorating. Then we zoom in on roles and standards. What should a psychiatrist do in a 15-minute medication visit? What should a therapist do in real CBT or DBT? What does EMDR training actually require, and why is “I’m trained” not enough when you’re working with the brain and nervous system? We close with what good coordination of care looks like, plus postpartum and crisis resources for anyone who needs support right now. If this conversation matters to you, subscribe, share it with someone who works in healthcare, and leave a review so more people can find it. What part of the system do you think failed first? Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

  3. Aug 4

    Trauma Therapy: Boundaries, Not Authority

    Send us Fan Mail A therapist tells a 42-year-old woman to cut off her mother in the second session and she does it. That story hit the Wall Street Journal, lit up the internet, and quickly turned into a bigger accusation: trauma therapists are “detachment brokers” who use their authority to dissolve guilt and obligation and, in the worst case, break families apart. We don’t dodge the heat. We name what’s real (yes, family estrangement is more visible, and yes, bad therapy exists) and then get precise about what ethical, trauma-informed therapy is actually supposed to do. Melissa, a licensed clinical social worker and trauma specialist trained in EMDR, IFS, polyvagal and somatic approaches, explains why no therapist should be telling clients what to do, why one-sided stories are structurally unavoidable in individual therapy, and how good clinicians compensate by challenging narratives, exploring motivations, and building personal accountability. We also get practical: boundaries versus control, when no-contact may be appropriate in abuse dynamics, and why casual labels like “narcissist” are both overused and ethically risky when the clinician has never met the person being judged. We close with five concrete signs of a strong therapist plus what to do if your own therapist starts making you nervous, especially in the age of TikTok therapy speak and AI “diagnoses.” If this hit a nerve, share the episode with someone navigating family conflict, then subscribe and leave a review so more people can find nuance instead of outrage. What’s your biggest therapy red flag? Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

  4. 10/21/2025

    Rethinking Intimacy

    Send us Fan Mail If chemistry has ever fooled you into thinking you’ve found closeness, this conversation offers a new map. We break down intimacy into a sequence that actually works—know, trust, rely, commit, then touch—and unpack why flipping that order can feel amazing at first and empty soon after. Along the way, we add the missing layers: emotional safety that makes honesty possible, and intellectual curiosity that keeps two minds playful, challenged, and aligned. With Melissa’s therapist lens, we explore how attachment styles influence the way we seek or avoid closeness. Secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized patterns can make the same moment feel safe to one partner and threatening to another. The good news: these patterns aren’t destiny. Through self-awareness, therapy, and repeated positive experiences, couples can move toward secure connection. We offer practical language to lower defensiveness—asking “Do you want listening or feedback?”—and simple rituals that stabilize trust, like setting a clear time to reconnect when one person needs space. We also tackle common friction points between men and women without caricatures or clichés. Many men are trained to prioritize the mission over emotion; many women need emotional responsiveness to feel bonded. Translation helps: a headline share without a forced deep dive, a hug while taking space, and clarity that “it’s not you.” We talk about depending on a partner without collapsing into dependency, repairing after missteps, and how small, consistent follow-through builds deep security over time. If you’re wondering how to feel seen, not just close, you’ll leave with steps you can try tonight. If this sparked reflection, share it with someone you care about, subscribe for more candid conversations, and leave a review with one insight you’re planning to practice this week. Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

  5. 10/14/2025

    Faith, Free Speech, and Colorado’s Ban on Conversion Therapy for Minors

    Send us Fan Mail A quiet morning catch-up turns into a charged exploration of where therapy ends and state power begins. We dig into Colorado’s HB 19-1129 and the case of a licensed, faith-based counselor challenging the state’s ban on “conversion therapy” for minors, asking whether the law polices harmful conduct—or polices words and beliefs in the treatment room. Along the way, we read the statutory definition, examine what it does and doesn’t allow, and test it against real scenarios where a teen asks for guidance aligned with their faith or seeks affirmation amid family conflict. From there, we open the lens: How do clergy carve-outs square with tighter rules for licensed clinicians who operate under codes of ethics and disciplinary oversight? Could bans unintentionally push sensitive identity work into less regulated spaces? We trace the patchwork of state laws, the split in federal courts, and why the Supreme Court’s review could reset the boundaries of professional speech for therapists, physicians, and teachers. Grounding the legal questions are clinical fundamentals—do no harm, client autonomy, informed consent—and the crucial difference between exploration and direction. We also confront tough edge cases: What counts as harmful speech in therapy, and what’s just radical candor? Where is the line between respecting conscience and imposing values? Finally, we tackle the age question and the “follow the science” refrain. If neurodevelopment justifies bright lines at 18, what about the prefrontal cortex maturing into the mid-20s? If minors lack capacity for certain decisions, how do policy carve-outs stay coherent? No easy answers here—only a reasoned, good-faith attempt to map the terrain so you can decide what’s consistent, ethical, and sustainable for kids, families, and clinicians. If thoughtful debate is your thing, you’ll feel at home. If this conversation made you think, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your take. And tell us: should licensed therapists be free to counsel minors consistent with a minor’s faith and goals, or should the state draw the line? Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

  6. 10/08/2025

    EQualyzer Series: When Rhetoric Turns Violent—and Why Free Speech Still Matters

    Send us Fan Mail The shouting match on Capitol Hill wasn’t just a bad day at work—it was a mirror. We open on the chaos, then follow the ripple effects across the culture: public glee at a political killing, campus protests that blur into crime, and media ecosystems that reward the most dehumanizing lines. Along the way, we draw the crucial boundary between consequences and censorship, showing why community judgment belongs in a free society—and why state pressure over speech is a line we can’t let any administration cross. We unpack how labels like fascist and Nazi turn neighbors into targets, how the “martyr effect” makes silencing by force backfire, and why original sources beat viral edits every time. From immigration enforcement to late-night monologues, from cancel culture’s unending punishments to platform policies shaped by backroom calls, we map the real-world costs when debate is replaced by coercion. Tech companies can set rules, but when government jawbones platforms or affiliates, private moderation becomes public power by proxy—and that should alarm anyone who cares about civil liberties, regardless of party. Grounded in the founders’ warnings and a moral call to speak truth with care, we argue for thicker skin, sharper reasoning, and a wider marketplace of ideas. Free speech is not a promise of comfort; it’s the oxygen of a healthy republic. If truth unsettles us, maybe it’s doing its job. Listen, challenge us, and bring your best arguments—we’ll put them at the front of the line and let ideas compete in daylight. If this moved your thinking, subscribe, share with a friend who loves a good debate, and leave a review telling us where you draw the line between consequence and censorship. Your voice keeps this conversation honest. Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

    EQualyzer Series: When Rhetoric Turns Violent—and Why Free Speech Still Matters

  7. 10/01/2025

    EQualyzer Series: God said “Let there be light”—we got podcasts

    Send us Fan Mail What happens to a free society when speech goes quiet? We open the Equalizer Series by tracing the moral, historical, and legal roots of free expression—from “Let there be light” to the First Amendment—and make the case that words don’t just describe reality; they create it. Evan lays out his worldview shaped by faith, family, service, technology, and firsthand political experience, then builds a clear framework of first principles to show why speech is the bedrock that upholds conscience, press, assembly, and petition. We dig into Scripture’s view of language as creative and accountable, where the tongue holds the power of life and death, prophets speak under pressure, and Babel warns that words can unite or scatter nations. From there, we scan Greece’s isēgoria and parrhesia, Socrates’ fate, Rome’s eloquence and hierarchy, the Magna Carta’s checks on power, and Milton’s Areopagitica, arguing that truth thrives in open contest. By the Enlightenment, natural rights theory points straight to America’s design: a First Amendment that protects religion, then speech and press, then assembly and petition, each layer reinforcing the next. Breaking down the amendment’s order reveals why the founders put speech at the heart of liberty’s architecture: without it, faith can’t be confessed, the press can’t investigate, people can’t gather, and grievances can’t be heard. We draw a firm line between state censorship—which must be resisted—and personal responsibility—which must be embraced. Speech is a right to defend and a duty to steward, the “oxygen of freedom” that keeps a nation honest, curious, and capable of change. If this conversation gave you something to wrestle with, subscribe for more Equalizer deep dives and share this episode with someone who cares about faith, freedom, and first principles. Leave a review with your take: what speech would you defend even if you disagree? Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

    EQualyzer Series: God said “Let there be light”—we got podcasts

  8. 09/30/2025

    Your brain called—it wants out of the turtle shell

    Send us Fan Mail Shame can feel endless—like a tunnel with no exits. We unpack why it grips so hard, how it colonizes your thoughts and body, and what it actually takes to climb back to steady ground. With Melissa’s trauma therapy lens and our lived experience, we separate guilt from shame, map the nervous system states (ventral safety, sympathetic fight/flight, dorsal shutdown), and show how those “turtle shell” moments quietly damage connection unless we repair them with honest words and consistent action. We trace roots across childhood messages, cultural and faith expectations, and relationship patterns that fuse behavior to identity. Words matter; “you are bad” sinks deeper than “that choice hurt.” You’ll hear practical language swaps, why journaling moves feelings into facts the brain can work with, and how to spot the exact moment a spiral shifts from defensiveness to collapse. We talk resilience, emotional safety, and attachment—what a safe relationship really sounds like, and why repair starts with owning the spiral, naming its impact, and inviting others to flag early warning signs without fear. For parents and partners, we offer tools you can use today: grounding scripts, two-column journaling (Facts vs Story), device and social media resets, and how to build a circle of safe adults for teens who won’t talk to mom or dad. We also dig into the comparison trap online—how curated feeds inflate expectations and intensify shame—and how a short detox can visibly reduce anxiety, depression, and isolation. Finally, we reframe shame as a signal rather than a sentence: convert “I am bad” into “I made a mistake,” then repair, regulate, and reconnect. If this conversation hits home, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the one tool you’ll try this week. Your words help others find a way out of the spiral—and back to themselves. Support the show Facebook & Instagram: @Theunmentionablespodcast Twitter/X: @UnmentionablesX YouTube: @TheUnmentionnablesPodcast TikTok: @theunmentionablespodcast Web: https://heart4change.org/heart-for-change-media

See All (13)

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

We're Evan and Melissa. We cover the topics you’re not supposed to talk about at dinner. Politics, religion, sex, offensive humor, awkward situations, mental health, and parenting opinions are all on the table. What’s not on the table is a woke view of the world. We say what most people think but are afraid to say and we have a great time sharing our love and discussions with you. We’ll show you how to have a conversation again and how to disagree with love and respect for one another. 

Information

  • Creator
    Evan and Melissa Queitsch
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Unmentionables Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Unmentionables Podcast