Purpose, Not Pity

Erika Hernandez
  • 5.0 (5)
  • PERSONAL JOURNALS

Grief changes everything. But it doesn’t get the final say. Welcome to Purpose, Not Pity—a podcast born from loss and rooted in love, healing, and the hard conversations we don’t always know how to have. I’m Erika Hernandez: storyteller, bonus mom, grieving mother, and healing human. After losing my son Jovan in 2023, I found myself searching for meaning in the middle of heartbreak. Not answers. Not pity. Just something real to hold onto. This podcast is that something. Here, we talk about what happens after the world stops spinning. About life beyond the “How are you?” texts. About rebuilding identity, navigating motherhood, holding space for joy, and finding purpose through pain. You’ll hear solo episodes, raw stories, letters from my heart, and honest conversations with people who’ve also walked through fire. This isn’t a podcast about having it all figured out. It’s about showing up, cracked open but still standing—with purpose, not pity. 💛 You belong here. Even in the middle of the mess.

  1. JAN 12

    Becoming the Woman I Don’t Recognize Yet

    In the Season One finale of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika closes the year with a letter, not to who she was, but to who she’s becoming. It’s a love letter to the future self, the woman still in the making, the version shaped by healing, motherhood, grief, resilience, creativity, and purpose. It’s about identity after loss, rebuilding after life breaks open, and becoming someone you don’t recognize yet, but hope to meet. This episode isn’t about grief as tragedy, it’s about grief as transformation. It asks: Who do we become after the worst thing happens? Who do we become when the world forces us to grow? Who do we become when survival stops being enough? If you’re in a season of becoming, after divorce, after loss, after heartbreak, after disappointment, or simply after a year that changed you, this episode is for you. Season Two begins March 3rd. Until then, Erika will be sharing a new series on TikTok called The Intentional Interruption, for the moments life reroutes you, pauses you, or hands you a choice. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    12 min

  2. 12/23/2025

    Why the Holidays Feel Different After Loss (And Why That’s OK)

    In this deeply reflective episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika explores the quiet, often unspoken emotional space that many people find themselves in during the holidays after loss, heartbreak, or major life change. Not the kind of grief that demands attention. Not the kind of healing that looks inspirational. But the kind that shows up as restraint, reflection, and not knowing how to explain what you feel. Erika opens up about how the holidays have shifted for her over the years, from childhood magic, to single motherhood, to grief, to this in-between season where nothing feels wrong, but nothing feels the same. She speaks honestly about loneliness, peace, uncertainty, and the pressure to perform joy when your inner world has changed. This episode is for anyone who: Feels disconnected from the holidays but can’t explain whyIs healing but still grieving parts of the life they didn’t getFeels pressure to show up joyful when quiet feels more honestIs learning to let the season be what it is, without forcing meaningYou don’t need to fix the holidays. You don’t need to explain yourself. And you don’t need to feel alone in this. A gentle, grounding conversation for anyone navigating the holidays while becoming someone new. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    20 min

  3. 12/13/2025

    Not Everything Is Mine to Carry: A Healing Lesson on Letting Go Without Guilt

    In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika reflects on a recent real-life moment that revealed how much she’s changed, not through what she did, but through what she no longer felt the need to carry. Through honest storytelling and reflection, she explores the difference between accountability and emotional labor, and how healing teaches us to stop absorbing blame, guilt, and anxiety that don’t belong to us. If you’ve ever felt responsible for keeping the peace, carrying emotional weight that wasn’t yours, or turning difficult moments into proof that something was wrong with you, this conversation is an invitation to pause, and let something fall. Healing isn’t about becoming cold or detached. It’s about learning when to hold, and when to let go. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    14 min

  4. 11/25/2025

    I Didn’t Lose Him, I Was Being Prepared

    In this deeply personal and unexpected episode, Erika shares the moment that stopped her in her tracks, a simple family photo on Facebook that opened a door to a truth she never fully acknowledged until now. What begins as an ordinary dinner with a friend turns into a powerful reflection on marriage, pressure, parenthood, old wounds, and the kind of healing that reveals itself years later. Erika opens up about the choices she made at twenty, the weight of expectation, the realities of a young and unsteady marriage, and the painful honesty of knowing something wasn’t right long before she had the courage to say it out loud. But this episode isn’t about regret. It’s about clarity. It’s about preparation. It’s about the way God sometimes removes what we’re not ready to let go of, because He knows what’s coming next. For anyone navigating heartbreak, release, forgiveness, or the quiet ways life prepares us for unimaginable storms, this episode is a reminder that: Letting go is not failure. Letting go is preparation. If you’re healing from a past relationship, struggling with letting go, or learning to trust the timing of your life, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    15 min

  5. 11/11/2025

    What If Everything You’ve Been Through Is Preparing You for What’s Next

    This episode explores the possibility that not all hardship is punishment, some of it is preparation. Inspired by a conversation on Angie Martinez IRL with Joe Budden reflecting on Kobe Bryant, Erika asks a powerful question: What if everything you survived didn’t shape you for pain…  but for purpose, peace, and blessings you haven’t met yet? We talk about becoming emotionally ready for the life we want, understanding divine timing, releasing armor, and stepping into a season where strength looks like softness, truth, and self-acceptance. This episode will challenge the way you see your past and open your heart to a future where you don’t just survive, you become. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    15 min

  6. 11/08/2025 · BONUS

    The Call That Broke Me Today

    A FaceTime call from my bonus son, Malachi, flipped my whole day. What started as a normal check-in turned into him admitting something he never says out loud… that since my son Jovan passed, he hasn’t been able to find that kind of connection again. And he feels lonely. In this bonus episode, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moment grief showed up out of nowhere and shifted everything. This is about the loneliness we don’t talk about enough, the connections we can’t replace, and the way grief hits even when life looks “fine.” If you’ve ever felt joy and heartbreak in the same day… this one is for you. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    6 min

  7. 10/28/2025

    The Anger I Didn’t Expect After Losing My Son

    Most people expect anger after loss to look loud and obvious. But what if your anger is quiet? What if it lives in your body, in long silences, in questions you can’t say out loud? In this “halfway” episode of Purpose, Not Pity (Episode 7), Erika Hernandez dives into the anger that doesn’t look like anger. She talks about the invisible rage after losing a child, being angry at God, herself, the justice system, and even the person accused in his death. She shares how she masked her pain, turned inward, and learned that true healing begins when you stop hiding your anger and let it lead you out of the dark.  If your life looks nothing like you planned, this episode is for you.  🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    15 min

  8. 10/14/2025

    When the Life You Planned Falls Apart

    When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s not just your dreams that disappear,  it’s the version of yourself you thought you’d always be. In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what it feels like to stand in the wreckage of the life you once imagined and realize nothing looks the way you thought it would. From divorce and career setbacks to infertility, addiction, and loss, this episode is about what happens when the picture shatters, and how to find yourself again in what’s left. Because starting over isn’t about rebuilding what broke. It’s about picking up one piece that still feels like you and carrying it forward. 🧡 Stay connected: TikTok: @by.erikahernandez Instagram: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: byerikahernandez@gmail.com 💛 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

    13 min
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Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Grief changes everything. But it doesn’t get the final say. Welcome to Purpose, Not Pity—a podcast born from loss and rooted in love, healing, and the hard conversations we don’t always know how to have. I’m Erika Hernandez: storyteller, bonus mom, grieving mother, and healing human. After losing my son Jovan in 2023, I found myself searching for meaning in the middle of heartbreak. Not answers. Not pity. Just something real to hold onto. This podcast is that something. Here, we talk about what happens after the world stops spinning. About life beyond the “How are you?” texts. About rebuilding identity, navigating motherhood, holding space for joy, and finding purpose through pain. You’ll hear solo episodes, raw stories, letters from my heart, and honest conversations with people who’ve also walked through fire. This isn’t a podcast about having it all figured out. It’s about showing up, cracked open but still standing—with purpose, not pity. 💛 You belong here. Even in the middle of the mess.

Information

  • Creator
    Erika Hernandez
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Purpose, Not Pity
  • Show Website
    Purpose, Not Pity