Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises

Stacy Porter

Welcome, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies & DNA Surprises podcast, where we will discuss our relationships with our mothers including how they were growing up, leading up to our discovery, during our discovery and since learning our truths. We will have unfiltered conversations about our struggles with our mothers and dive into how we’ve uncovered who we are after her lies! Thank you for being here, you are not alone! I am an NPE, actually a double NPE, which means Not Parent Expected or Non Paternity Event.  I found out that the man listed on my birth certificate isn’t my biological father, twice.  For many of us we learn through at home DNA tests, others hear rumors of family secrets and confirm through a DNA test.   Within the community of DNA Surprises there are thousands of NPEs, Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs) and Donor Conceived People (DCPs) learning their truths.  The ongoing thing I hear is how many of us had struggles with our mothers most of our lives, while others had struggles since discovery.  For a number of people learning our truths answered so many questions and for others it opened up so many wounds, unanswered questions or left them feeling so alone.  After finding the large community of others who have gone through this the common struggle I hear from so many is the relationship with our mothers.   I wanted to create a space where we can share the struggles we have with our mothers, helping others to know they are not alone and supporting each other. For some this is the first time they are sharing their stories and for others we’ve shared our stories but now are ready to discuss the relationships with our mothers more in depth. Thank you for joining us and for supporting this community!

  1. APR 7

    Beth's Update after her 11/4/25 Episode

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.   Before I introduce today’s episode I want to share an opportunity to help grow an amazing project for NPEs.  I’m so proud of one of my best friends and fellow NPE for founding this project to grow awareness for NPEs. The project name is the Faces of NPE Project, which includes faces of NPEs who submit their photo as a visual representation to help grow awareness and open thoughtful, respectful dialogue around our experiences.   If you choose to participate, you only need to submit once.  Your photo becomes part of an ongoing collage that continues to grow each year.   Submissions for this year’s project close May 13th, with the release happening in June for NPE awareness month. If you would like to be included, please email Carmen at photos@facesofNPEproject.com. Thank you! Now for today’s episode…..I am sharing Beth’s update from her November 4th episode (episode #5)!   The key line that I took from our conversation is “I’m so glad you hit send”!! Someone from one of Beth’s support groups said something that rolled around in her mind, this kind soul said: “You might be the best thing that ever happened to them”.  Beth had a draft she had in her email that sat for months, and a voice in her head kept telling her to send it, just hit send.  Eventually she sent it to her new oldest half-sister. Within 12 hours she received a response, it seemed cold, matter of fact! And I will leave the rest for you to listen to, to hear her tell the story! “What can be gained from them” – Beth learned that the answer to this sometimes is “everything”. Just! Hit! Send! Thank you Beth for sharing your update with all of us!   Beth’s original episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/episodes/18101293

    1h 16m
  2. MAR 24

    Myranda's NPE Story

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Myranda’s story and our conversation!   Myranda shares with us how her relationship with her mother from a very early age was a struggle, that majority of her childhood was spent with her maternal grandparents. And how harsh some of her mother’s words were to her as a child. You know, one thing I hear from almost everyone I speak to, and Myranda said the same thing, is…..so many of us are not upset with the decisions our mothers made when we were conceived, most of us have so much compassion for our younger mothers….it’s how they handle things when we find out, when the truth finally comes out, that’s where so much hurt and anger come from. One week before her DNA results came back she was working on her relationship with her mom, was on a walk with her and her stepfather she even joked about the results….giving her mother another opportunity to tell the truth.  Here is where I will add a suggestion for anyone who is out there and holding onto this truth from a child….TELL THEM, tell them before they find out through a DNA test, that pain is very very difficult to come back from.  Being upfront and honest, when you know the truth is about to come out really does make a difference to those of us finding out our truths.  We would rather hear it directly from our parent then a 3rd party!  Myranda will share how she reached out to her mother to tell her she found out about who her biological father was, her mom actually apologized, said how sorry she was-so many of us believe if our mothers could only apologize it would make such a difference in how our relationship moves forward but as you will hear, Myranda’s relationship with her mother continued to deteriorate.  Myranda also talks about self-care ideas and learning to not abandon herself through this journey, this is a huge message for all of us, don't lose yourself for the sake of others!  Be there with yourself and for yourself through the whole process!  This is great advice!  The quote that Myranda references in our conversation is - “Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” Glennon Doyle, Untamed  *Trigger warning-Myranda’s story includes some harsh phrases that may be inappropriate for younger children or possibly offensive to some. Thank you Myranda for being so very vulnerable and sharing your story with us! Myranda’s DNA Suprises Podcast episode link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/myrandas-dna-surprise/id1598395367?i=1000747862231   Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 36m
  3. MAR 3

    Jamie & Frannie's Story

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.    On today’s episode you will hear Jamie, the oldest sister and Frannie, the youngest sister share their DNA surprise story, a perspective we don’t hear often. They will share how their Mother always told them that their Grandma (otherwise known as Graham Cracker) was the “knower of all, teller of none” and now they know why.   They tell us how they are so grateful that their Grandma has been able to share her memories to help, even if a little bit, answer some questions, that their mother is not open to talking about. They both agree that they could have a good relationship with their mother if she allowed herself to be honest and vulnerable but she can’t or won’t. What I loved about my conversation with Jamie & Frannie is the amount of love they have for their new sibling, and I hope that others who hear their story will learn and realize how the openness towards a new family member can make all the difference. And also, when we read, hear or learn about DNA surprises we don’t always remember there are children of, siblings of adoptees, Donor conceived persons or NPEs that are also affected deeply by the lies!  They will share some great advice on how to take care of ourselves during this journey including not to carry the shame of our mothers. Thank you again Jamie & Frannie for sharing your story with us and your point of view as the siblings of a brother who was lost to adoption! If you would like to connect with Jamie and/or Frannie please email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com   Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 29m
  4. FEB 17

    Marysol's NPE Story

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Marysol’s story!   It is important to me that everyone who shares their story is able to share it their way, today Marysol shares her story from her writings, it was very important to her to make sure she didn’t lose track of her thoughts so this was her way of honoring her story.  Once she finishes her writings we do have a very candid conversation. Here is a trigger warning-Marysol mentions childhood sexual abuse and possible sexual assault, please proceed with caution if any of this is a trigger for you.   Marysol shares her feelings of being raw, uncomfortable in her own skin, disillusionment after a random phone call when she was 20 and how she was unable to discuss it any further with her mother until taking a 23andMe test some years later and learning she is no longer half Puerto Rican, her identify shift along with her mother’s lack of information left her reeling. One phrase that Marysol uses is it felt like a “brain leech” and this is a great way to explain how a tiny bit of information can continue to consume us, even if it’s small amounts over years….we never forget! As a woman who identified as a strong Puerto Rican she shares how her ethnicity shift comes up every day for her, how this has been the most overwhelming part for her on a day to day basis.  Marysol makes the comment that she doesn’t know how to define what is a lie and what is a truth anymore…..this statement is something that I believe so many of us who have had a DNA surprise can relate to. And as you will hear, Marysol daydreams of an epic apology from her mother, I personally felt this, this grown woman wishes for that too, for myself and for all of us! Marysol is open to connecting via email at handsoftheearth@gmail.com or on your Instagram @handsoftheearth. Thank you again Marysol for sharing your story so eloquently with us! Books referenced: *Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSDBy Caroline Foster and Caroline Foster *Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved ParentsBy Lindsay C. Gibson  Previous podcast Marysol has done with Lily Wood on NPE Stories: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marysols-story/id1464478802?i=1000552376224  Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 34m
  5. FEB 3

    Colleen's NPE Story

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Colleen’s story!    Colleen will share how, from a very young age, that she noticed she didn’t look like anyone in her family and even said she thought she was switched at birth.  We hear this often, that from a  young age so many NPEs noticed something was off, of course we couldn’t have known what secrets were being kept from us but proves that it does make a difference, even to young children.  Here is a trigger warning-Colleen will mention date rape as part of her story, please proceed with caution if this is a trigger for you.   Colleen’s story includes an initial connection with a ½ sister and from this ½ sister she learns about their father but later learns she has discovered another NPE. As Colleen discusses her relationship with her mother she will also talk about setting boundaries and no longer allowing things to be swept under the rug anymore. For anyone who knows me you know that forgiveness in a difficult topic for me but Colleen speaks so nicely about forgiveness & releasing, surrounding herself with people she can be vulnerable with and we also talk about how being vulnerable helps build connections both within the DNA surprise community as well as with others in our lives.  Colleen is open to connecting via email as well as calling or texting her, if you would like to connect with Colleen by phone or text please email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com and I will be happy to give you her number. Thank again Colleen for sharing your story for the first time with us! Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 12m
  6. JAN 6

    Elizabeth's NPE Story

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Elizabeth’s story and our conversation!   You will hear Elizabeth share how she always felt different and even asked “why am I so different”.  Through my journey and I’m sure so many of us NPE’s have we hear so many times how different so many felt as children, these feelings are real, unexplainable and is proof that even as very young children we understand what I call the nature vs nurture maybe. Elizabeth’s story has an origin story that may be hard to hear for some as well as abuse, so here is a trigger warning for everyone.  She shares in a very respectful way though. Elizabeth also shares how she is taking care of herself and what outlets she is using to help not only herself but also others.  She is working on a long journey of writing her memoir and wanting to give back to the community. If you are looking for another great resource she is offering a free virtual post-holiday trauma-informed Yoga Nidra Sunday January 11th for the DNA surprise community.  You can find and sign up for this free event on her website: VIPYoga-noco.com under the events page:  https://www.vipyoga-noco.com/general-9 Email: ekvipyoga@gmail.com Elizabeth's 3 part interview on DNA Surprises Podcast with Alexis Hourselt: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/elizabeths-dna-surprise-part-1/id1598395367?i=1000708323476 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/elizabeths-dna-surprise-part-2/id1598395367?i=1000708323594 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/elizabeths-dna-surprise-part-3/id1598395367?i=1000706627656 Thank you Elizabeth for your vulnerability, honesty and for sharing your story with us! Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 39m
  7. 12/23/2025

    Lily's Story-Host of the NPE Stories Podcast

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast.  Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Lily’s story and our conversation!  Lily is the host of the NPE Stories podcast and I am honored to have had this time with Lily!  Lily’s honest conversation about what her relationship was like with her mother leading up to her discovery and how it has been since is something that hit home personally while also showing Lily’s strength, growth and how she used that to do better for herself and her family! Another thing that I found interesting was hearing Lily talk about not only the emotional toll this takes on us but also how our bodies feel, hold on to past emotions and continue to feel those traumas. Lily gives some great advice on taking care of your own mental health and wellbeing, and giving yourself permission to focus inward.  If you haven’t already make sure you find and follow Lily’s podcast, NPE Stories.  Lily will be sharing my conversation with her on her podcast this week also! Thank you Lily for your vulnerability, honesty and for sharing your story with us! Links to additional information regarding Lily's interviews as well as resources: Lily's Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/npe-stories/id1464478802 NPE Stories - Lily's Story:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lilys-story/id1464478802?i=1000464979607 The Secret In My DNA - Lily's Story:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-11-a-sounding-board-lilys-story/id1545020186?i=1000550662444 DNA Surprises - Lily's Story:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lilys-dna-surprise/id1598395367?i=1000632441313 Everything's Relative with Eve Sturges - Lily's Story:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lily-wood-npe-stories-special-crossover-episode/id1459167540?i=1000500770908 Missing Pieces - NPE Life - Lily is interviewed along with 3 other pillars within the community:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/4-pillars-4-women-answer-4-questions/id1621877452?i=1000565074218 Missing Pieces - NPE Life - Lily interviews Don Anderson's wife and Don interviews Lily's Husband:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spouses-speak/id1621877452?i=1000598569890 The Reverend & The Reprobate:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dna-tests-family-trees-and-npe-stories-the-lily/id1525591938?i=1000568331336 Email:            npestories@gmail.com Instagram:     npestories Facebook:     NPE Stories Additional Facebook groups:  Hiraeth Hope & Healing or Togetherness Heals-NPE Only Website: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/

    1h 2m
  8. 12/02/2025

    Rebecca's Story Part 2

    Send us Fan Mail Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing part two of Rebecca’s story and the rest of our conversation!   As Rebecca’s story continues, she shares that first phone call with her raised father after he was told the truth about Rebecca’s paternity.  Rebecca talks about getting her control back after conforming her whole life for her mother. How she decided to do better than her mother at any cost, she wants to be a better human. The one thing I thought while I listened to Rebecca talk about her interaction with her raised mother and father is that it is like standing up to a bully really. They are manipulators that we’ve always had in our lives.  She will also share how therapy is invaluable. We talk about the grief of losing somebody that is still alive, which is very powerful to say that out loud. Those of us with our Mothers still alive ask ourselves “how will I feel when I get the call that my mother died?  Each of us have to answer this question for ourselves, Rebecca has a great perspective on this. She wants others to know that you can come out the other side. That it’s ok to grieve the mother you never had. As a bonus you will hear one of her pups interject during our interview. Thank again Rebecca for sharing your story and for everyone who is here and knowing that we are not alone!  If you would like to connect with Rebecca you can find her on Facebook at Rebecca Neale or you can email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com. Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

    1h 4m

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Welcome, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies & DNA Surprises podcast, where we will discuss our relationships with our mothers including how they were growing up, leading up to our discovery, during our discovery and since learning our truths. We will have unfiltered conversations about our struggles with our mothers and dive into how we’ve uncovered who we are after her lies! Thank you for being here, you are not alone! I am an NPE, actually a double NPE, which means Not Parent Expected or Non Paternity Event.  I found out that the man listed on my birth certificate isn’t my biological father, twice.  For many of us we learn through at home DNA tests, others hear rumors of family secrets and confirm through a DNA test.   Within the community of DNA Surprises there are thousands of NPEs, Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs) and Donor Conceived People (DCPs) learning their truths.  The ongoing thing I hear is how many of us had struggles with our mothers most of our lives, while others had struggles since discovery.  For a number of people learning our truths answered so many questions and for others it opened up so many wounds, unanswered questions or left them feeling so alone.  After finding the large community of others who have gone through this the common struggle I hear from so many is the relationship with our mothers.   I wanted to create a space where we can share the struggles we have with our mothers, helping others to know they are not alone and supporting each other. For some this is the first time they are sharing their stories and for others we’ve shared our stories but now are ready to discuss the relationships with our mothers more in depth. Thank you for joining us and for supporting this community!

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