Defiance of Silence - A Sacred Witness

Valerie Foglesong
  • 5.0 (7)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Defiance of Silence – A Sacred Witness is a podcast for survivors, healers, and those who walk beside them. Together, we stand against the silence that isolates and embrace the silence that allows us to be truly heard. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, Nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — the show was born from her own two-decade journey of healing from sexual trauma and the power of being witnessed. Through real and unpolished conversations, guests share stories of courage, grief, resilience, and awakening. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is sacred witness. A space where vulnerability becomes strength, and where no one has to carry their story alone. New episodes release every other week.

  1. Nicole - Breaking The Vow Of Silence

    JAN 28

    Nicole - Breaking The Vow Of Silence

    Silence can protect us for a while—but eventually, it costs everything. In this powerful episode, Valerie sits down with Nicole, a decorated veteran, detective, and survivor whose 26-year career in law enforcement and the military was defined by service, strength, and relentless achievement. Rising to the role of Special Agent in Charge and Sergeant in the MA Army National Guard, Nicole Ferry also graduated from the FBI National Academy and holds advanced degrees in Criminal Justice and Public Administration. Her journey, however, was marked by unspoken trauma: military sexual trauma at age 19, the moral injury of losing a colleague to suicide, and the toll of chronic hypervigilance and pain.  Nicole shares the messy reality of recovery—navigating the VA system, seeking culturally competent care, and spending 142 days in a first responder treatment program where she confronted her own patterns: addicted to leadership, willing to abandon herself to save others. She opens up about the somatic fallout of panic, insomnia, and a near-fatal medication reaction, and how a service dog named Cash quietly transformed her sense of safety.  Through her advocacy for mental health and suicide awareness, Nicole leads impactful discussions and global resilience training, drawing from her own battle with PTSD and trauma. She sits on the Board of Directors for the Survive First Foundation, helping others find hope and healing.  This episode offers practical tools and gentle honesty: Setting boundaries after sharing hard storiesUsing shaking and rhythmic movement to discharge what isn’t yours to carryThe importance of safe witnessesHow healing begins when the vow of silence finally breaks If you’ve ever felt alone in service, believed you had to be exceptional to be worthy of help, or carried strength at the cost of your own safety, Nicole Ferry's story will meet you where you are and invite you to breathe, soften, and try again.  nicoleferry.com nicole@nicoleferry.com www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-ferry-mpa CopLine 1-800-copline 1-800-267-5463 Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 25m
  2. Brad - Not Broken: Finding What’s Already Inside You

    JAN 14

    Brad - Not Broken: Finding What’s Already Inside You

    What if grief isn’t only about death, but about every quiet loss we were taught to outrun? We open Season Two with a grounded, powerful conversation with Brad Gallup — veteran, transformational coach, and equine-guided educator. Together, we explore unmourned grief, moral injury, and the hidden cost of caring in a world that both hurts and heals. Brad shares his journey from Desert Storm to a near-suicide, secret therapy, and more than three decades of facilitating grief work, men’s circles, and equine-guided healing. We talk about how culture pushes grief into the shadows, why anger often masks sorrow, and how being safely witnessed can change a life. You’ll hear simple, practical ways to regulate your nervous system through breath, movement, and daily rituals that build resilience like money in the bank. We explore the difference between listening and deep listening, how to hold space without absorbing someone else’s pain, and the quiet internal boundary that says: this isn’t mine. Then we step into the round pen. Brad explains how horses, living fully in the present, help human nervous systems downshift. We talk about the science of co-regulation and why a few minutes with a horse can sometimes do what hours of talking cannot. Somatic awareness, gentle self-inquiry, and practical support come together to offer pathways for survivors, helpers, and anyone navigating loss after trauma. The throughline is simple and hopeful: you are not broken. Everything you’re looking for is already inside you. If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a steady witness, and leave a review to help others find the show. We'd love to hear from you: what daily practice helps keep you steady when grief knocks? Uncle Brad would love to hear from you!   http://www.BradGallup.com  / bhgallup75@gmail.com Master Integrator & Equine Wisdom Coach "The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart."   -Andrew Bennett Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    56 min
  3. Valerie - What I Learned in the Silence: Season One Reflections

    JAN 12 · BONUS

    Valerie - What I Learned in the Silence: Season One Reflections

    What if the most healing thing we can offer isn’t advice, but presence? We close our first season by honoring the stories that found a home here and the witnesses who listened with care. From sexual trauma to the quiet, everyday work of surviving, this conversation threads together what we learned, what surprised us, and why the body keeps holding truth long after the recording stops. We revisit the heart behind the show: to build a steady, humane space where truth lands without spectacle. You’ll hear the lessons that kept showing up—trust silence, resist fixing, and let people be seen as they are.  We share guest-by-guest reflections: resilience that refuses to be defined by harm, faith that became a lifeline, a nurse creating decompression spaces for her team, nonlinear healing told without shame, and a loved one naming the grief and grit of supporting a survivor. Along the way, we offer grounded guidance for listeners who felt old pain wake up: slow down, recruit support, and treat that activation as evidence of something honest happening. Looking ahead, we keep the core focus on sexual trauma while widening the container to include grief, moral injury, and the unseen costs of caring. That expansion isn’t dilution—it’s depth. We’ll explore how recovery reshapes families, how healers carry what they witness, and how small practices build nervous-system steadiness. If you’ve been waiting for a place where your story won’t be rushed or sensationalized, you’re home. Take a breath, take what steadies you, and leave what doesn’t. Subscribe to follow season two, share this with someone who needs a gentler conversation, and leave a review to help others find the space. Your voice matters—and you are worthy of being witnessed. Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    20 min
  4. Lauren - When Presence is the Medicine

    12/31/2025

    Lauren - When Presence is the Medicine

    Start with a breath, stay for the truth. Valerie sits down with Lauren, a licensed professional counselor and former child life specialist, to unpack what it really means to be a sacred witness—how to show up for survivors without losing yourself to vicarious trauma. From emergency rooms and SANE exams to therapy rooms and courtrooms, we trace how the body stores stress, why memories fragment under threat, and how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn actually protect us in the moment. Lauren shares the signs helpers often miss—intrusive thoughts, numbness, headaches, sleep swings, quiet rage—and offers clear ways to notice when the weight you’re carrying isn’t yours. We explore prevention that goes beyond posters: peer debriefing, boundaries that stick, flexible self-care rituals, and leadership that treats mental health as readiness. You’ll hear simple scripts for hard moments: what to say (and not say) to someone in pain, how to set kind limits when you can’t hold more, and how to widen the net so no one becomes the only lifeline. For first responders, clinicians, and caregivers navigating stigma and policy, we talk candidly about confidentiality, reassignment, and finding safe spaces to release the day—prayer in the car, a walk in the sun, music that lets you cry, a quiet night with a book, even throwing ice in the backyard. The heart of it is presence: immediate debriefing when shock is fresh, deeper processing when the body is ready, and everyday rituals to let go of what doesn’t belong to you. If you’ve ever taken someone’s story home in your shoulders, this conversation offers language, tools, and hope. Subscribe, share with a teammate who needs it, and leave a review with your favorite grounding practice so others can try it too. Lauren Hollis is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor who owns her own private practice in The Woodlands, Texas. She works with children, adolescents, couples and adult individuals. When she is not working, she is passionate about her faith in God, children and spending time with family.  Lauren Hollis, MA, CCLS, RPT, LPC-S Licensed Professional Counselor- Supervisor Registered Play Therapist Sacred Connections www.laurenhollis.com 832-299-4830 Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    58 min
  5. Becca - Radical Acceptance & Forgiveness: A Practice That Softens Shame

    12/17/2025

    Becca - Radical Acceptance & Forgiveness: A Practice That Softens Shame

    Some stories crack the shell and let the light in. Valerie sits with Becca—a tattoo artist, mom, and survivor—who turns the old script of silence on its head and shows how radical self-forgiveness can rebuild a life. We move through early violations and the ache of not being believed, into the adult patterns that followed: people pleasing, numbing with alcohol, and mistaking compliance for consent. When a trusted friend crossed a line, Becca didn’t just name the harm; she learned to name her nervous system, too. Fawn and flop aren’t character flaws—they’re survival responses—and that simple truth can dissolve years of shame. What changes once shame loosens its grip? Becca shares the tools that actually worked. Journaling that challenges “Is this 100% true?” Mindset shifts that turn ten negatives into ten grounded positives. A practice of “neutralizing” people—not saints, not monsters—so the body can stop whiplashing between idealization and resentment. She even reframed abandonment, finding the ways it made room for real love, presence with her kids, and sharper empathy for unseen people. As a creative holding space for clients’ stories, she learned that carrying someone’s pain doesn’t lighten their load; witnessing without judgment does. The heart of this conversation is radical responsibility rooted in compassion. Not blame. Not perfection. A daily choice to send love to the self-inside the memory, to retire the word "should" and to take one steady step at a time. If you’re ready to heal without a checklist, to trade drama’s “internal drugstore” for nervous system peace, and to feel truly witnessed, this one meets you where you are and walks with you forward. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us one belief you’re ready to rewrite. Your story deserves to be heard. Becca Nushell is a tattoo artist, content creator, and mom who has learned the power of radical self forgiveness. By taking full responsibility for her life, she has shifted from living in a victim mindset to finding genuine peace and freedom. Her story is about healing through accountability, compassion, and truth. Nushelltattoos.org Instagram @Nushelltattoos  Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 4m
  6. Rachael - Loving a Survivor - A Sacred Witness at Home

    12/03/2025

    Rachael - Loving a Survivor - A Sacred Witness at Home

    What does it take to love someone through trauma without losing yourself? We sit down with Rachel—forensic nurse, educator, and secondary survivor—to unpack the messy, courageous work of building safety, voice, and trust when PTSD lives in the home. From a brave early disclosure on a blind date to a life-saving inpatient stay and a parking-lot pregnancy reveal, her story is equal parts raw and deeply hopeful. Rachel explains why their earliest agreements mattered: medication choices stayed with him and his doctor, he owned appointments, and she stepped out of the fixer role. We walk through the strain of loud PTSD episodes, the quiet damage of walking on eggshells, and the moment a therapist finally said, “It’s time.” Later, a shared trauma retreat reframed everything: secondary trauma is still trauma, and healing belongs to witnesses, too. Rachel describes laying down resentment, learning somatic regulation, and rebuilding a marriage around honest needs and compassionate boundaries. She also shares what didn’t work—unsafe communities that wanted curated stories—and how safe witnesses, consistent therapy, and body work changed their family’s rhythm. As a forensic nurse, Rachel brings a trauma-informed lens: consent, pacing, and the sacred weight of someone’s story. She offers practical takeaways for caregivers and survivors alike—safety plans with clear steps, removing lethal means, centering the patient’s voice, and modeling resilience for kids. We end with a simple grounding exercise you can use today to release what isn’t yours to carry. If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a witness, and leave a review so others can find it. Your voice helps build a braver, safer community. Rachael Reynolds is a Forensic Nurse and educator with over 15 years of experience in Labor & Delivery, Pediatrics, Hospice, and Sexual Assault Forensic Examination. As both a nurse, secondary survivor of sexual assault and the spouse of a survivor, Rachael brings a deeply personal perspective to her work and advocacy. She and her husband Ashton have been married for 15 and a half years, growing side by side as they navigate the realities of PTSD, trauma recovery, the healing power of empathy, and the everyday work of healing — while raising four incredible children. Together, they strive to break the silence and stigma surrounding trauma by embracing transparency, faith, and open communication in their home and co Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 43m
  7. Jeanine - The Beauty of Self Compassion

    11/19/2025

    Jeanine - The Beauty of Self Compassion

    Silence can isolate — but it can also safeguard a story until it’s ready to be spoken. In this episode, we sit with Jeanine McNeill, CPS—an Army Veteran, Women Veterans Program Certified Peer Specialist, and Women’s Health Liaison at the Sheridan VA. With more than 40 years of lived experience, Jeanine has transformed her own journey through Military Sexual Trauma (MST) and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) into advocacy, support, and education for her fellow Veterans. Jeanine’s healing path has led her into national recognition. She is a Daily Points of Light Award recipient for her work with The Pink Berets, was honored with a Quilt of Valor for her dedication to female Veterans, and served as Ms. Senior World Wyoming 2024, using that platform to elevate awareness of MST and IPV on an international stage. We begin this conversation with a grounding exercise to honor the weight of what follows. Jeanine speaks candidly about how the body often remembers what the mind cannot yet name—the freeze response, intuitive knowing, and the clarity that sometimes emerges years later. She shares a pivotal moment: an unexpected reunion with someone connected to her assault, which became a turning point in her healing and a powerful reminder of what it means to be witnessed. Jeanine also introduces the SELF Method she teaches to residents: Silence the noise Evaluate with a body scan Listen to your body Feel what you’re meant to feel, then move forward We explore what it means to support others while protecting your own energy—through breathwork, grounding walks, mindful drives, and prayer for what cannot be carried alone. Jeanine reframes triggers as information, not setbacks, and speaks to the shift from victim, to survivor, to thriver. This episode is an invitation to trust your pace, honor your body’s wisdom, and remember that healing is possible—and you are worthy of being witnessed. Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    46 min
  8. Lucy - The Invisible Weight of Silence

    11/05/2025

    Lucy - The Invisible Weight of Silence

    When the US Army stamps your discharge Chapter 8 and strips your benefits, it’s easy to believe your service didn’t count. Lucy wouldn’t accept that ending. She walks us through growing up in chaos, surviving assault in uniform, and carrying a story so heavy it nearly pushed her over the edge—until a clinician named PTSD and a fellow vet’s challenge rekindled her fire. We trace the moments that changed everything: a panic attack at work that sent her to the ER, the disappearance of Vanessa Guillen that turned avoidance into action. Lucy shows how advocacy can spark policy change while quietly draining a survivor’s reserves. She speaks frankly about the Netflix spotlight, the flood of requests from other survivors, and her decision t to ask for help.  What follows is a blueprint for sustainable healing and service. Lucy returns to medication on her terms, builds daily breath work and yoga practices. Takes long walks with her husband to decompress and reconnect. She sets boundaries, practices seasonal advocacy, and reframes worth beyond a DD214. The message is clear and compassionate: give yourself grace. If you’re navigating MST, PTSD, or the invisible weight of silence, you’ll find practical tools, hard-won wisdom, and the courage to make your own pace. Lucy is a proud United States Army Veteran and a lifelong advocate for veterans’ rights and recognition, both in New Jersey and across the country. Lucy currently serves as Program Coordinator for YWCA Northern New Jersey’s Operation Sisterhood, a comprehensive initiative designed to support women veterans as they transition from military service to civilian life. Beyond her professional roles, Lucy is a dedicated volunteer and national advocate. She works with Minority Veterans of America, The Pink Berets, and is a prominent voice in the #MeTooMilitary movement, which emerged in the wake of Specialist Vanessa Guillen’s death. Lucy testified before the House Armed Services Committee on July 29, 2020, during the landmark hearing, The Military MeToo Movement. Her advocacy was featured in the Netflix documentary “I Am Vanessa Guillen.” In recognition of her leadership and service, Lucy was appointed by VA Secretary Denis McDonough to the VA’s Workgroup on Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault. She was also appointed by Governor Phil Murphy to the New Jersey Commission on Women Veterans. In 2024, she was inducted into the Army Women’s Foundation Hall of Fame. Lucy lives in Essex County, New Jersey, w Contact Valerie Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org SAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.org Veterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1 Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/ *This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    53 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Defiance of Silence – A Sacred Witness is a podcast for survivors, healers, and those who walk beside them. Together, we stand against the silence that isolates and embrace the silence that allows us to be truly heard. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, Nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — the show was born from her own two-decade journey of healing from sexual trauma and the power of being witnessed. Through real and unpolished conversations, guests share stories of courage, grief, resilience, and awakening. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is sacred witness. A space where vulnerability becomes strength, and where no one has to carry their story alone. New episodes release every other week.

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