Defiance of Silence - A Sacred Witness

Valerie
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Mental Health

Defiance of Silence — A Sacred Witness is a space for human stories. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — this podcast explores the quiet things people carry and what happens when they finally have a place to tell the truth about them. Through honest conversations with survivors, veterans, caregivers, healthcare workers, healers, advocates, and everyday people, we explore trauma, grief, moral injury, recovery, identity, caregiving, resilience, and the many ways human beings learn to keep going after life changes them. Some stories center on trauma. Others explore healing, service, loss, faith, purpose, or the unseen weight carried by those who witness suffering every day. Here, we don’t rush stories. We don’t fix people. We witness them. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is a space where truth can land without spectacle. A field of human stories. A place to feel less alone. Take what steadies you. Leave what doesn’t. New episodes every other week.

  1. Sep 16

    Jason -The One Time I Couldn't Save Him

    A father can memorize medication schedules, spot a respiratory decline before a monitor catches it, and still face the moment when love and skill cannot stop loss. Valerie sits down with Jason Tuttle, a stay-at-home dad who spent 15 years as a primary medical caregiver to his son Zachary. Zachary lived with complex medical needs and died suddenly at 15 from complications later listed as sepsis and cardiac arrest. This conversation holds the medical trauma of his death honestly while keeping the center of gravity where it belongs: a boy who loved people, Special Olympics bowling, horseback riding therapy, and—of all things—the Weather Channel. Jason takes us inside the reality of caring for a medically complex child: hospitalizations, split-second decisions, learning your child’s body, and knowing when something simply isn’t right. He shares the day he drove 60 miles to the children’s hospital and stood nearby as a medical team tried to resuscitate his son—and the realization that haunted him afterward: after a lifetime of being the person who could help Zachary, this was the one time he couldn’t. We also talk about what happens after the unimaginable: the stunned logistics, the questions that don’t let go, and the strange clarity that can exist alongside numbness after trauma. Then we widen the lens to fathers and grieving men. Jason talks about the pressure men often feel to keep pain private, return to normal quickly, and grieve as though loss has a deadline. He shares how writing private letters to Zachary became an outlet for his own grief and eventually grew into Letters to Zachary, a community where others began recognizing their own unspoken experiences in his words. You’ll also hear Jason’s unforgettable metaphor for grief: long, dark tunnels that don’t necessarily disappear—but over time, there can be more track and more light between them. And through all of it, we come back to the person at the center of the story: Zachary. A laid-back, joyful kid who loved people, bowling, horses, and watching the weather. Because while this is a conversation about the death of a child, Zachary’s death does not get the final word about his life. https://letterstozachary.com/ Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Jason -The One Time I Couldn't Save Him

  2. Aug 26

    Forensic Nurses - We Believe You

    You may have heard the term forensic nurse on TV and assumed it's all about swabs, paperwork, and courtrooms. The truth is quieter—and far more human. In this special panel episode, Val is joined by Dr. Nancy Downing, forensic nurse researcher, educator, and faculty member at the University of North Texas; Stacey Henley, a pediatric forensic nurse with more than a decade of experience caring for children and families at Cook Children's; and Rachael Reynolds, forensic nurse examiner and returning guest from Season 1, whose own experience as a secondary survivor inspired her work with patients navigating trauma. Together, they pull back the curtain on a profession built first and foremost on compassionate nursing care. The conversation explores what forensic nursing and Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) care really look like beyond the misconceptions. From sexual assault and child abuse to domestic violence, human trafficking, elder abuse, and other violent crimes, forensic nurses care for people whose bodies—and often their sense of safety—have been violated. The panel explains why they do not work for law enforcement, why evidence collection is never more important than a patient's medical needs, and how advocates, nurses, and healthcare teams work together to reduce retraumatization while giving survivors choices, dignity, and support. Then the conversation turns inward to the hidden cost of bearing witness. Together, they discuss compassion fatigue, burnout, vicarious trauma, moral injury, faith, and the emotional weight that comes with caring for people on some of the hardest days of their lives. They also share what helps them continue the work: trusted colleagues, therapy, grounding practices, healthy boundaries, and communities that make it safe for caregivers to care for one another. Whether you're a survivor, healthcare professional, first responder, student, or simply someone who wants to better understand what happens after trauma, this conversation offers an honest look at the people quietly standing beside others in moments of crisis—and what it takes to keep showing up with humanity intact. If this episode helped you better understand forensic nursing, consider sharing it with someone else. Every conversation helps defy the silence, reduce stigma, and remind survivors that they deserve compassionate care, to be heard, and to be believed. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Forensic Nurses - We Believe You

  3. Aug 12

    Candice - Healing & The Pace of Grace

    When Candice Reyes first sensed God calling her to create a place where survivors could heal, she had no idea where that path would lead. As she walked through her own healing journey—combining trauma-informed counseling with a deepening relationship with God—she discovered that restoration wasn't just possible for her; it was something she was called to help others experience as well. In this conversation, Candice shares the deeply personal story behind Her Well Center, a nonprofit she founded in 2023 to provide free, evidence-based, trauma-informed care to survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and other forms of interpersonal trauma. What began as one woman's step of faith has grown into an organization offering advocacy, counseling, neurofeedback, support groups, crisis intervention, case management, and Samaria House, a residential refuge for women in crisis. Together, we explore what it really means to heal. Candice shares what it was like to leave the security of a steady career to follow an uncertain calling, the importance of healing before helping others, why grace matters in the recovery process, and what she's learned after walking alongside countless survivors. One simple moment watching a duck at a pond became an unforgettable reminder that even those called to meaningful work must rest before they can continue the journey. In addition to leading Her Well Center, Candice is the author of two bestselling Christian books, A 15-Minute "Date" with God and Awake My Soul, both written to help readers cultivate a deeper relationship with God through simple, daily spiritual practices. Whether you're a survivor, someone who loves one, or simply want to become a safer witness to another person's story, this conversation is a powerful reminder that healing doesn't happen all at once—it happens with grace, one step at a time. If you'd like to learn more about Her Well Center, explore volunteer opportunities, become a trained advocate, or support their 100 Strong for Survivors campaign, visit herwell.org.  If you or someone you know needs support, you can also call or text the Her Well Hotline at 833-511-HOPE (4673). Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Candice - Healing & The Pace of Grace

  4. Aug 11 ·  Bonus

    Operation Equine - The WARRIOR Pack Trip

    A barn isn’t a studio, and that’s the point. This episode of Defiance of Silence was recorded in the middle of Operation Equine’s WARRIOR Pack Trip in the Colorado mountains—with wind in the rafters, horses nearby, and life moving around us. Valerie joins five other women for an immersive week of horses, horsemanship, nature, shared meals, hard work, laughter, and opportunities to look honestly at themselves. Near the end of the week, she sits down in the barn with Operation Equine founder and executive director Michelle Kaye and co-facilitator Lee Dudley to talk about how the organization began, why horses are at the center of their work, and what can happen when people are given the space to experience rather than being told what healing is supposed to look like. Michelle and Lee share the principles behind WARRIOR—Wisdom; Accountability, Awareness and Acceptance; Respect; Responsibility; Integrity; Owning Your Impact; and Relationship—and how those principles come alive through interactions with horses, nature, and one another. They talk about expectations and control, military cultural competence, the difference between supporting and rescuing, caring for themselves as trauma therapists, and what it really means to trust the horses. Valerie also shares her own unexpected experience with a horse named Jake. She entered the round pen believing she had let go of her expectations, only to discover she was still waiting for something very specific to happen. What followed—including an entire herd thundering down the mountain—became a lesson in community, surrender, and the possibility that what we need may not arrive looking anything like what we asked for. Then you'll hear directly from the women who lived the experience—veterans and a military spouse—along with one of the horsewomen who helped make it possible. Their stories are different, but common threads emerge: fear giving way to confidence, learning to stay present, letting go, finding connection, and discovering what happens when we stop forcing an outcome and become curious about what is already there.  This isn't a story about horses fixing people. It's about relationship. Presence. Trust. Being willing to see yourself honestly. And what can become visible when there is enough safety and space to pay attention. Sometimes the horse comes to you. Sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes you look up and realize you've become part of the herd. For more information on Operation Equine and the visit their website - https://operationequine.org/ Although the 2026 Trips are currently full - Operation Equine is already interviewing for next year! So if you are interested in applying for 2027, contact Michelle Kaye, Executive Director, directly at Michelle@OperationEquine.org  (Please type "2027 WARRIOR Pack Trip" in the subject line) or, call or text 720.588.3035 Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Operation Equine - The WARRIOR Pack Trip

  5. Jul 29

    Brenda - Detangling Faith

    When faith has been tied to fear, performance, or control, even the word “God” can hit your nervous system like a threat. In this deeply personal episode, I sit down with therapist and former church leader Brenda Cochran for a grounded, honest conversation about church hurt, spiritual abuse, and religious trauma—and why so many people feel anxious, ashamed, or like they’re never enough while trying to be “good” believers. As a licensed clinical social worker, Brenda has spent more than two decades working in psychiatric care, private practice, and nearly twenty years leading a counseling ministry inside a church. Having walked alongside thousands of people navigating trauma, addiction, mental health, and faith, she brings a rare perspective to the intersection of psychology, spirituality, and whole-person healing. Together, we unpack the continuum from painful church experiences to coercive spiritual manipulation. We explore the difference between believing something intellectually and actually feeling safe in your body. Brenda explains how early programming shapes the lens we wear, why “deconstruction” can be such a triggering word, and how deprogramming—or as I like to call it, detangling—can look like separating God from the ways people have misrepresented Him. We also talk about spiritual bypassing, the damage caused when mental health struggles are met with platitudes instead of compassionate, trauma-informed care, and why accountability matters inside our faith communities. Along the way, I found myself unexpectedly grieving parts of my own story, making this one of the most vulnerable conversations I’ve shared on the podcast. We go into the hard places too: what happens when spiritual authority is used inside marriage, why some people feel trapped by theology, and how curiosity, compassion, and good questions can open a door without starting a fight. We end where so much healing eventually leads—to grief. Mourning what should have been so we can embrace what still can be. If you’re detangling your faith, questioning what you’ve been taught, or trying to separate God’s voice from the voices that wounded you, this conversation is for you. If this episode resonates with you, subscribe to Defiance of Silence, share it with someone who needs language for what they’re carrying.  Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Brenda - Detangling Faith

  6. Jul 15

    Tennille - Pink Boxing Gloves

    At 41, Tennille went from setting up surgical trays for breast cancer reconstruction to sitting on the other side of the operating table with a diagnosis of her own. After twenty-five years as a surgical technologist, she recognized the warning signs before anyone had to tell her. What followed was a whirlwind of scans, bloodwork, chemotherapy, radiation, multiple surgeries, and the long road of learning what it means to become the patient. In this conversation, Tennille shares what it was like to navigate a Stage IIB, HER2-positive breast cancer diagnosis as a single mother raising her nine-year-old daughter. She opens up about the parts of survivorship people rarely talk about: recovering between surgeries, delayed radiation burns, body image after mastectomy and reconstruction, chronic fatigue, joint pain, and the emotional weight of living in a body that no longer feels familiar. We also explore the role of faith in suffering, the courage it took to tell her daughter she had cancer, and how prayer, hope, and community carried her through the darkest moments. Today, Tennille mentors other women facing cancer, is writing the book she believes God gave her during her journey, and is turning one of the hardest seasons of her life into a source of encouragement for others. Whether you've faced cancer, another life-changing diagnosis, or simply walked through a season that changed you, this conversation is a reminder that healing isn't about pretending life goes back to the way it was. Sometimes healing is learning that your scars don't just tell the story of what happened—they tell the story of what you've survived. If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who needs a little hope today. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Tennille - Pink Boxing Gloves

  7. Jul 1

    Suzette - They Need Love

    Healing gets strange when the chaos finally stops and you start missing it. That’s where Valerie and Suzette go in this conversation, tracing recovery beyond “not drinking” and into the deeper work of emotional sobriety, shame, and the patterns that keep us braced for impact even when life is calm. Suzette is a U.S. Army Veteran, transformational leader, and Director of Development at Save A Warrior, where she helps expand access to healing for Veterans, Active Duty Military, Ohio First Responders, and their families. With more than twenty years of sobriety and decades spent mentoring women through recovery and personal transformation, she brings both lived experience and hard-earned wisdom to this conversation. We talk about the breaking point that burns everything down, then the surprisingly powerful basics that rebuild a life: structure, one day at a time, and staying close to people who tell the truth with care. From there, we explore Internal Family Systems (IFS) in plain language, the manager and firefighter parts, and how coping can shift from substances to control, workaholism, gossip, or rumination. Suzette and Valerie unpack the “inside drugstore”—the adrenaline, dopamine, and stress chemistry that can make drama feel normal—and why peace can feel uncomfortable when your nervous system is used to intensity. If you love someone struggling with addiction, are navigating recovery yourself, or simply find yourself repeating the same patterns despite your best intentions, this conversation offers insight into what may be happening beneath the surface. Together, they explore boundaries, shame, witnessing, and the freedom that comes from letting go of what cannot be controlled. They close with a grounding release practice and a simple reminder: when people are suffering, what they often need most is not fixing, advice, or solutions. They need love. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Suzette - They Need Love

  8. Jun 17

    Breanna - Moral Injury

    The hardest part of trauma is not always what happened. Sometimes it's what it taught you to believe about yourself. In this episode, Valerie sits down with Breanna —a Navy veteran, suicide prevention specialist, and moral injury specialist with Volunteers of America—for a conversation about the wounds too many veterans carry in silence and the paths that can lead them home to themselves. We explore Military Sexual Trauma (MST) as a betrayal-based trauma and the layers that often accompany it: distrust, isolation, hypervigilance, shame, and a reshaped sense of identity. Breanna breaks down moral injury in a way that is both accessible and profound, offering a distinction that lands deeply: PTSD often says, "I'm not safe." Moral injury often says, "I'm not worthy." Together, we discuss the difference between treating symptoms and tending to the deeper wounds of meaning, values, and belonging. Breanna shares her own experience with suicidal ideation, the courage it took to call 988, and what she now looks for when someone begins to reconnect with themselves: choice, agency, hope, and a nervous system that finally exhales. We also talk about boundaries, self-care for helpers, movement, community, and why presence—not fixing—is often the most powerful medicine we can offer another human being. This is a conversation about healing, but also about witnessing. About telling the truth. About what becomes possible when we no longer carry our stories alone. If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who may need it. And if you're enjoying these conversations, subscribing and leaving a review helps these stories reach the people who need them most. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/Operation Equine*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

    Breanna - Moral Injury
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Defiance of Silence — A Sacred Witness is a space for human stories. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — this podcast explores the quiet things people carry and what happens when they finally have a place to tell the truth about them. Through honest conversations with survivors, veterans, caregivers, healthcare workers, healers, advocates, and everyday people, we explore trauma, grief, moral injury, recovery, identity, caregiving, resilience, and the many ways human beings learn to keep going after life changes them. Some stories center on trauma. Others explore healing, service, loss, faith, purpose, or the unseen weight carried by those who witness suffering every day. Here, we don’t rush stories. We don’t fix people. We witness them. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is a space where truth can land without spectacle. A field of human stories. A place to feel less alone. Take what steadies you. Leave what doesn’t. New episodes every other week.

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