Defiance of Silence - A Sacred Witness

Valerie Foglesong
  • 5.0 (7)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Defiance of Silence – A Sacred Witness is a podcast for survivors, healers, and those who walk beside them. Together, we stand against the silence that isolates and embrace the silence that allows us to be truly heard. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, Nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — the show was born from her own two-decade journey of healing from sexual trauma and the power of being witnessed. Through real and unpolished conversations, guests share stories of courage, grief, resilience, and awakening. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is sacred witness. A space where vulnerability becomes strength, and where no one has to carry their story alone. New episodes release every other week.

  1. Jason - Staying Human Under Pressure: What Trauma Surgery Teaches Us About Leadership, Presence, and Carrying the Weight

    1D AGO

    Jason - Staying Human Under Pressure: What Trauma Surgery Teaches Us About Leadership, Presence, and Carrying the Weight

    Defiance of Silence is a place for real stories of trauma and healing - where lived experience matters more than advice.  What holds a team steady when the stakes rise and the room goes quiet? In this episode, Valerie sits down with Dr. Jason Piefer—orthopedic trauma surgeon, OR leader, and host of Slice of Piefer—for a grounded and honest conversation about what it takes to stay human in high-pressure environments. Jason spends his days putting people back together after life has quite literally broken them apart. But beyond the technical skill required in trauma surgery, he shares something deeper: how presence, breath, and steady leadership shape outcomes just as much as surgical precision. Together, they explore what happens after the case—how to carry what you witness without bringing the full weight home, and how small, intentional practices like writing, prayer, and reaching out to a trusted person can help prevent compassion from turning into numbness. This conversation moves beyond medicine into something more universal: how we lead, how we regulate, and how we care without losing ourselves. You’ll hear practical insights for navigating high-stakes moments:  How to steady yourself when everything feels urgent  Why lowering your voice can calm an entire room  How to step back and reorient when you feel overwhelmed  Ways to process what you carry without isolating Valerie and Jason also speak to the quiet impact of silence—how it isolates both survivors and caregivers—and how being witnessed creates movement where people often feel stuck. There’s humor here too, because levity is part of the medicine. And there’s a reminder woven throughout: recovery—whether physical or emotional—doesn’t follow shortcuts. Scars may remain, but they don’t define us. If you’ve ever carried what you’ve witnessed, questioned yourself under pressure, or wondered how to lead without hardening, this conversation offers something steady to hold onto. Take what serves you. Leave what doesn’t.  You don’t have to carry this alone. Watch Dr. Piefer on his podcast Slice of Piefer!  Click Here - https://youtu.be/xNofebTduYM?si=uCR3bDF-OwGGaAcq Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 4m
  2. Ayana - When Resilience Isn’t Enough: Choosing Transilience

    MAR 11

    Ayana - When Resilience Isn’t Enough: Choosing Transilience

    Defiance of Silence is a place for real stories of trauma and healing—where lived experience matters more than advice. Start with a breath. Then meet Ayana—a Navy veteran, therapist, author, caregiver, and peer support leader whose story moves from Brooklyn to the nuclear pipeline, through MST and grief, and into a life devoted to witnessing others with care. In this conversation, we explore the difference between breaking silence that isolates and honoring silence that protects. This isn’t trauma porn and there’s no pressure to share more than your nervous system can hold—just real language, lived experience, and practical tools for safety and healing. Ayana shares how one sentence from a therapist changed the course of her recovery, why anger often masks fear, and why regulation must come before processing trauma. We also unpack what peer support actually means—trained, ethical support grounded in lived experience—and why it can be a lifeline for veterans and families navigating complex systems of care. We talk about choosing therapy wisely—asking about modalities, tracking what actually helps, and remembering you can request a provider who fits your identity and needs. EMDR, Brainspotting, IFS, ART—these aren’t badges of honor. They’re pathways. Readiness is the gate. Along the way we explore the drama triangle, the cost of rescuing others, and the courage it takes to prune relationships that no longer support growth. Ayana introduces the idea of “transilience”—not just surviving what life hands you, but transforming it. If you’re breathing, you qualify for care. For workshops, speaking engagements   https://www.linkedin.com/in/ayanabrown/ I currently see clients at Hope Village Wellness Center.  https://www.hopevillagewellnesscenter.com/ Check out Ayana's book here: Buy Myka and the Mystery of the Treasure Trust A special thanks: This episode is gifted to you by a sacred witness & friend, Tara Pitcock - Thank you for the support, Tara!!! Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 5m
  3. Lauren - Not at the Expense of Me

    FEB 25

    Lauren - Not at the Expense of Me

    What happens when the story you’ve carried for years—I should have known, I should have stopped it—meets the truth your body has been holding all along? In this episode, Valerie sits with Lauren—a mother, veteran, and grassroots community advocate committed to building authentic connection and resilient communities. Lauren served two tours in Iraq as a logistician, later worked as an IT project manager, led change as a nonprofit executive, and has successfully administered multiple programs and businesses. Beneath all of those roles is another identity she rarely spoke about for years: survivor. That lived experience became a catalyst for earned wisdom and deep transformation, shaping her commitment to paying forward the grace and compassion she herself received. Together, Valerie and Lauren walk through betrayal, survival, grief, and the long middle space where healing isn’t dramatic or linear—but real. This is a grounded conversation about naming rape, navigating high-performance environments after trauma, and what silence can quietly cost our faith, relationships, and sense of self. Lauren shares the moment everything shifted—a call for help from a parking lot—and the unexpected turning point of working with a male therapist through cognitive processing therapy. She speaks candidly about releasing stored grief, rebuilding safety with men, and how co-regulation, breath, and simple presence can bring a spiraling nervous system back to steady ground. Along the way, humor, ceremony, and community become anchors, reminding us that healing rarely happens alone. Listeners will also find practical wisdom for rebuilding after trauma or moral injury: choosing one safe person, moving at your own pace, setting boundaries with the reminder not at the expense of me, and marking heavy moments complete through intentional ritual. Valerie and Lauren gently explore the complicated realities of reporting, career impact, and how agency can grow as language—and self-understanding—changes. At its core, this episode is not about what was done to someone.  It’s about what becomes possible when someone is finally witnessed. Take what steadies you. Leave what doesn’t.  You don’t have to carry this alone. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    59 min
  4. Victoria - Safety First: Science, Heart, Humor & EMDR

    FEB 11

    Victoria - Safety First: Science, Heart, Humor & EMDR

    Ready for a gentler way to face hard memories without getting stuck retelling the same story? In this episode of Defiance of Silence, we sit down with Victoria Garcia, a warm, down-to-earth therapist with over ten years in the mental health field, trained in EMDR and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Passionate about helping people untangle the past and build lives that truly work for them, Victoria blends science, heart, and humor to make healing feel human, accessible, and grounded. Together, we demystify EMDR and explore what “being ready” really means. Victoria explains in plain language how bilateral stimulation works, why pacing matters, and how therapists identify targets by pairing memories with core beliefs like I’m not safe, It was my fault, or I should have done more. This isn’t about reliving trauma—it’s about helping the nervous system reorganize so the past no longer runs the present. We talk about the preparation that makes EMDR effective: naming body sensations, using slow body scans, and even working with colors as anchors for those who struggle to label emotions. For people who dissociate, overthink, or feel disconnected from their bodies, these practices become bridges back to safety and presence. Victoria shares real-life examples of healing in motion, like panic softening into neutrality and triggers losing their grip. The story doesn’t disappear, but its hold loosens. We also cover when EMDR isn’t the right move, why safety skills come first, and how virtual EMDR can be surprisingly effective using apps that tailor pace and visual cues. For first responders, nurses, caregivers, and helpers, EMDR applies deeply—often touching beliefs like I should have done more. Victoria shows how those quiet burdens can finally be witnessed and released. We close with a gentle guided body scan you can return to anytime. Your story deserves a witness.  Your body deserves peace. Learn more about Victoria’s work at  🌿 www.victorioustherapy.com Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 11m
  5. Nicole - Breaking The Vow Of Silence

    JAN 28

    Nicole - Breaking The Vow Of Silence

    Silence can protect us for a while—but eventually, it costs everything. In this powerful episode, Valerie sits down with Nicole, a decorated veteran, detective, and survivor whose 26-year career in law enforcement and the military was defined by service, strength, and relentless achievement. Rising to the role of Special Agent in Charge and Sergeant in the MA Army National Guard, Nicole Ferry also graduated from the FBI National Academy and holds advanced degrees in Criminal Justice and Public Administration. Her journey, however, was marked by unspoken trauma: military sexual trauma at age 19, the moral injury of losing a colleague to suicide, and the toll of chronic hypervigilance and pain.  Nicole shares the messy reality of recovery—navigating the VA system, seeking culturally competent care, and spending 142 days in a first responder treatment program where she confronted her own patterns: addicted to leadership, willing to abandon herself to save others. She opens up about the somatic fallout of panic, insomnia, and a near-fatal medication reaction, and how a service dog named Cash quietly transformed her sense of safety.  Through her advocacy for mental health and suicide awareness, Nicole leads impactful discussions and global resilience training, drawing from her own battle with PTSD and trauma. She sits on the Board of Directors for the Survive First Foundation, helping others find hope and healing.  This episode offers practical tools and gentle honesty: Setting boundaries after sharing hard storiesUsing shaking and rhythmic movement to discharge what isn’t yours to carryThe importance of safe witnessesHow healing begins when the vow of silence finally breaks If you’ve ever felt alone in service, believed you had to be exceptional to be worthy of help, or carried strength at the cost of your own safety, Nicole Ferry's story will meet you where you are and invite you to breathe, soften, and try again.  nicoleferry.com nicole@nicoleferry.com www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-ferry-mpa CopLine 1-800-copline 1-800-267-5463 Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    1h 25m
  6. Brad - Not Broken: Finding What’s Already Inside You

    JAN 14

    Brad - Not Broken: Finding What’s Already Inside You

    What if grief isn’t only about death, but about every quiet loss we were taught to outrun? We open Season Two with a grounded, powerful conversation with Brad Gallup — veteran, transformational coach, and equine-guided educator. Together, we explore unmourned grief, moral injury, and the hidden cost of caring in a world that both hurts and heals. Brad shares his journey from Desert Storm to a near-suicide, secret therapy, and more than three decades of facilitating grief work, men’s circles, and equine-guided healing. We talk about how culture pushes grief into the shadows, why anger often masks sorrow, and how being safely witnessed can change a life. You’ll hear simple, practical ways to regulate your nervous system through breath, movement, and daily rituals that build resilience like money in the bank. We explore the difference between listening and deep listening, how to hold space without absorbing someone else’s pain, and the quiet internal boundary that says: this isn’t mine. Then we step into the round pen. Brad explains how horses, living fully in the present, help human nervous systems downshift. We talk about the science of co-regulation and why a few minutes with a horse can sometimes do what hours of talking cannot. Somatic awareness, gentle self-inquiry, and practical support come together to offer pathways for survivors, helpers, and anyone navigating loss after trauma. The throughline is simple and hopeful: you are not broken. Everything you’re looking for is already inside you. If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a steady witness, and leave a review to help others find the show. We'd love to hear from you: what daily practice helps keep you steady when grief knocks? Uncle Brad would love to hear from you!   http://www.BradGallup.com  / bhgallup75@gmail.com Master Integrator & Equine Wisdom Coach "The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart."   -Andrew Bennett Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    56 min
  7. Valerie - What I Learned in the Silence: Season One Reflections

    JAN 12 ·  BONUS

    Valerie - What I Learned in the Silence: Season One Reflections

    What if the most healing thing we can offer isn’t advice, but presence? We close our first season by honoring the stories that found a home here and the witnesses who listened with care. From sexual trauma to the quiet, everyday work of surviving, this conversation threads together what we learned, what surprised us, and why the body keeps holding truth long after the recording stops. We revisit the heart behind the show: to build a steady, humane space where truth lands without spectacle. You’ll hear the lessons that kept showing up—trust silence, resist fixing, and let people be seen as they are.  We share guest-by-guest reflections: resilience that refuses to be defined by harm, faith that became a lifeline, a nurse creating decompression spaces for her team, nonlinear healing told without shame, and a loved one naming the grief and grit of supporting a survivor. Along the way, we offer grounded guidance for listeners who felt old pain wake up: slow down, recruit support, and treat that activation as evidence of something honest happening. Looking ahead, we keep the core focus on sexual trauma while widening the container to include grief, moral injury, and the unseen costs of caring. That expansion isn’t dilution—it’s depth. We’ll explore how recovery reshapes families, how healers carry what they witness, and how small practices build nervous-system steadiness. If you’ve been waiting for a place where your story won’t be rushed or sensationalized, you’re home. Take a breath, take what steadies you, and leave what doesn’t. Subscribe to follow season two, share this with someone who needs a gentler conversation, and leave a review to help others find the space. Your voice matters—and you are worthy of being witnessed. Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    20 min
  8. Lauren - When Presence is the Medicine

    12/31/2025

    Lauren - When Presence is the Medicine

    Start with a breath, stay for the truth. Valerie sits down with Lauren, a licensed professional counselor and former child life specialist, to unpack what it really means to be a sacred witness—how to show up for survivors without losing yourself to vicarious trauma. From emergency rooms and SANE exams to therapy rooms and courtrooms, we trace how the body stores stress, why memories fragment under threat, and how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn actually protect us in the moment. Lauren shares the signs helpers often miss—intrusive thoughts, numbness, headaches, sleep swings, quiet rage—and offers clear ways to notice when the weight you’re carrying isn’t yours. We explore prevention that goes beyond posters: peer debriefing, boundaries that stick, flexible self-care rituals, and leadership that treats mental health as readiness. You’ll hear simple scripts for hard moments: what to say (and not say) to someone in pain, how to set kind limits when you can’t hold more, and how to widen the net so no one becomes the only lifeline. For first responders, clinicians, and caregivers navigating stigma and policy, we talk candidly about confidentiality, reassignment, and finding safe spaces to release the day—prayer in the car, a walk in the sun, music that lets you cry, a quiet night with a book, even throwing ice in the backyard. The heart of it is presence: immediate debriefing when shock is fresh, deeper processing when the body is ready, and everyday rituals to let go of what doesn’t belong to you. If you’ve ever taken someone’s story home in your shoulders, this conversation offers language, tools, and hope. Subscribe, share with a teammate who needs it, and leave a review with your favorite grounding practice so others can try it too. Lauren Hollis is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor who owns her own private practice in The Woodlands, Texas. She works with children, adolescents, couples and adult individuals. When she is not working, she is passionate about her faith in God, children and spending time with family.  Lauren Hollis, MA, CCLS, RPT, LPC-S Licensed Professional Counselor- Supervisor Registered Play Therapist Sacred Connections www.laurenhollis.com 832-299-4830 Contact Valerie Support the show Remember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed! If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support: National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an email Find us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    valerie@defianceofsilencepodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr A special thank you to https://www.broadcastingtexas.org/ for believing in this project!

    58 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Defiance of Silence – A Sacred Witness is a podcast for survivors, healers, and those who walk beside them. Together, we stand against the silence that isolates and embrace the silence that allows us to be truly heard. Hosted by Valerie — a U.S. Army veteran, Nurse, survivor, and trauma-informed witness — the show was born from her own two-decade journey of healing from sexual trauma and the power of being witnessed. Through real and unpolished conversations, guests share stories of courage, grief, resilience, and awakening. This is not therapy. This is not performance. This is sacred witness. A space where vulnerability becomes strength, and where no one has to carry their story alone. New episodes release every other week.

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