This is How We Feel with Dr Ali Walker

Dr Ali Walker
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Welcome to This Is How We Feel - a podcast about what actually changes behaviour in real life. Hosted by behavioural scientist Ali Walker, the show explores human behaviour through small, real-life experiments you can try in your own life. Each episode introduces one simple behavioural experiment, backed by research in positive psychology and longevity, and reflects on why it's good for us, and what happens when we try it. Think of it as a behavioural playground. What happens if…?

Episodes

  1. FEB 13

    What Story Are You Telling Yourself About How You Feel?

    Have you ever stopped to notice what you’re really feeling? This week, Ali experimented with naming emotions every day, and discovered how much our stories can mislead us, how small insights sneak up over time, and why a week isn’t long enough to see real change. Join Ali as she shares what she has learnt about emotional granularity and how giving yourself space can transform the way you see yourself.

    22 min

  2. FEB 6

    The Play Experiment: What Happens When We Put Play First, featuring Daniel Teitelbaum

    In this episode, Ali Walker is joined by her first guest- Daniel Teitelbaum from Playful Thinking to unpack a simple but confronting experiment: what happens when we prioritise play for an entire week. Ali shares how choosing play - through dancing, dressing up, and being more light-hearted with her kids - dramatically shifted her energy and sense of aliveness. But play didn’t just bring joy. It also unearthed the reasons she avoids it: fatigue, responsibility, fear, and the unspoken rules we absorb about being 'serious' adults. Together, Daniel and Ali explore why play is not a luxury but a biological and psychological need, how it generates energy, connection, and resilience, and why returning to old patterns is so easy once the experiment ends. This is a conversation about play as regulation, leadership, and self-trust - and why small experiments matter if we want lasting change.

    28 min

  3. JAN 20

    Life as an Experiment: What Happens When We Put Play First?

    In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Ali Walker introduces a different way of approaching behaviour change - not through pressure, discipline, or shame, but through curiosity. After 15 years studying how people behave in groups, one pattern kept showing up: knowing what’s good for us rarely changes what we do. So instead of asking “How do I change?” or “What’s wrong with me?”, this podcast asks a simpler question: What happens if we try this? This episode introduces the idea of turning everyday life into a series of small, low-stakes experiments - and begins with the first one: PLAY. Not as a reward.Not after everything else is done.Just… play. You’ll hear: Why insight alone doesn’t change behaviour How curiosity softens the nervous system Why play is one of the fastest ways to create safety and flexibility Practical, adult-friendly ways to bring play into real life (no productivity required) You’ll also be invited into the first experiment: one small, unnecessary, enjoyable thing each day - and simple prompts to notice what comes up. This isn’t a challenge.It’s not a program.There’s nothing to keep up with. It’s an invitation to notice how it actually feels to be human - in real life. If you’ve ever felt stuck, flat, serious, or overwhelmed…you’re not alone in this feeling. THIS IS HOW WE FEEL...

    18 min

  4. JAN 8

    How to connect with your future self

    If you start this year the same way you started the last one, you’ll get the same year all over again. What if this year didn’t follow the same pattern as the last one? In the opening episode of Season 2, Ali explores how to make this year unlike any other by changing where you invest your energy. Instead of setting more goals or pushing harder, this episode invites you to become self-referential; to start making decisions from alignment, curiosity, and your future self. You’ll learn how to: Connect with your future self Use energy, not pressure, as your compass for the year ahead This episode is about momentum, clarity, and choosing yourself without rejecting anyone else. If you’ve ever felt like you’re repeating last year on a loop, this is your invitation to begin differently.

    14 min

  5. 11/24/2025

    How to fill the void: Who are you when no one is around?

    In this episode, we explore a feeling so many people carry: What do I do when no one needs me? If you grew up getting approval for being 'good' or 'useful,' your nervous system learned that doing equals value - and being equals nothing. So when life gets still, or when the roles fall away, your identity can collapse. In this episode, Dr Ali Walker breaks down: why we feel lost when we stop performing or being 'useful'why presence feels uncomfortable when you’re used to performing and how to rebuild a clear, grounded sense of self You’ll get practical tools to reconnect with yourself, anchor your identity, and feel like you again… not just the roles you play.

    17 min

  6. 11/11/2025

    Group Energy Toolkit: 5 Ways to Change your Energy & Transform a Group

    In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Dr. Ali Walker, behavioural scientist and expert in group dynamics, shares five practical, science-backed ways you can shift your own energy and transform the group around you.

    20 min

  7. 11/11/2025

    The Energy Between Us: Emotional Energy in Groups

    The real story in any group isn’t what’s being said, but what’s being felt. In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Ali Walker explores the invisible emotional energy that flows through every team, family, and culture. You’ll learn about: - How individuals act as conductors and absorbers of group energy - Why one person’s mood can ripple through an entire room - How emotional energy influences leadership and teamwork Whether you’re leading a team, navigating family dynamics, or curious about human behaviour, this episode will give you a new lens to understand the groups you are in.

    18 min

  8. 10/27/2025

    Why we overreact: Old vs new emotions

    Why does a small comment sometimes cause a huge (over)reaction? In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Dr Ali Walker explores how old emotions from our past can hijack the present, causing us to overreact in relationships. We unpack why our brains replay old patterns, how these 'old' emotions show up in everyday interactions, and simple ways to respond with awareness. Tune in to start noticing your feelings in a whole new way.

    18 min

  9. 10/17/2025

    Power Plays: How Status and Hierarchy Shape Group Dynamics

    In every group, from families and friendships to teams and nations, there are invisible forces at play. Power, status, and hierarchy shape who speaks, who listens, and who gets left out. In this episode, Dr. Ali Walker unpacks the hidden rituals that reinforce group hierarchies, explores how status is performed and perceived, and examines what happens when the balance of power begins to shift. We ask: What is power beyond titles and roles? How do we unconsciously play status games? What happens when we challenge group norms? And how can we create spaces where power moves with integrity? Whether you're navigating team politics, rethinking your role in a social group, or questioning long-standing dynamics in your family, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface — and lead with awareness.

    25 min

  10. 09/30/2025

    The Roles we Play to Feel Loved

    Why do some of us become the overachiever, while others fade into the background or act out in rebellion? In this episode, we explore the 5 classic roles children take on in dysfunctional family systems - the Hero, the Rebel, the Lost Child, the Mascot, and the Caretaker. These roles aren’t personality traits - they’re survival strategies we unconsciously adopt to find safety, attention, or connection in emotionally chaotic environments. You’ll learn: Where these roles come from and why they form How they shape our adult relationships and self-worth The hidden emotional cost of playing a role to be loved If you’ve ever wondered why you became the way you are, or felt stuck in a version of yourself that doesn’t quite feel real, this episode is for you.

    15 min

  11. 09/24/2025

    Are You In or Out? Playing the Social Game vs. True Belonging

    Why do so many of us feel like we’re constantly performing - just to be accepted? In this powerful first episode, Dr. Ali Walker explores the hidden emotional cost of the “social game” we’ve all been taught to play - from childhood cliques to adult circles of power and popularity. We unpack the dynamics of performative belonging, the roles we unconsciously adopt, and the quiet longing underneath it all: to be seen, to be safe, and to be loved without conditions. This episode is an invitation to step out of the game, pause the performance, and begin the journey toward true connection- with others, and with yourself. Key themes: The emotional cost of performance-based belonging Outsourcing emotional regulation The power of pausing before reaching out How to reconnect with your authentic self If you’ve ever felt exhausted by social dynamics, or like you’re chasing love that always feels just out of reach, this one’s for you.

    18 min

  12. 09/10/2025

    This is How We Feel Intro

    In this opening episode, Ali Walker introduces This Is How We Feel - a podcast exploring real-life emotional dilemmas in love, leadership, and learning, and why our feelings matter more than we think.

    3 min
  • 12 Episodes

About

Welcome to This Is How We Feel - a podcast about what actually changes behaviour in real life. Hosted by behavioural scientist Ali Walker, the show explores human behaviour through small, real-life experiments you can try in your own life. Each episode introduces one simple behavioural experiment, backed by research in positive psychology and longevity, and reflects on why it's good for us, and what happens when we try it. Think of it as a behavioural playground. What happens if…?

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