If not now, then when...? (The Midlife Experiment)

Sonja McKaiser
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Welcome to "If not now, then when...?", a podcast for midlife women who crave conversations that feel like a voice note from your bestie. We'll talk about the wild, beautiful process of reinventing yourself in midlife, from menopause & identity shifts to sensuality, grief & the radical act of becoming who you were always meant to be. Sprinkle in a little witchiness, some astrology, a touch of humour & a whole lot of truth! If something inside you has been whispering that it's time to stop playing small & start expressing yourself fully, this is your reminder. Coz if not now, then when...?

  1. 6d ago

    EP25: The Messy Middle of Becoming [S3E1]

    Welcome to Season 3! In today's yummy voice-note-style episode I share what's been coming up for me as I step into my next evolution. I talk about the messy middle of becoming, the parts of the journey we don't always share online, and why I'm done with the performative highlight reel that is social media. This season is about real conversations, real challenges, and creating a space where we can show up as our whole selves. Buckle up, baddie. We're doing this together! If you're still sitting on the promise you made to yourself at the beginning of this year, and need support taking one step forward, then listen up. The Plot Twist is my once-off 45-minute 1:1 coaching session where we look at what's getting in your way, and what needs to shift so that this year actually gets to be different. Sometimes we cannot see our own blind spots, and that's precisely what this is for. The cost is R850 ($55). Click this link to book your spot: https://calendly.com/sonjamcoaching/plottwist Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    21 min

  2. May 1

    EP24: Is your need for approval holding you back? [S2E12]

    Full Moon Blessings and happy May! This episode lands on the Full Moon in Scorpio, so if things have been feeling intense, you're not imagining it. As we close out Season 2, I'm going a little deeper into why you may be getting on your own way, and how to move through it. Because it's definitely not lack of trying but possibly your need for approval that's keeping you in the same loop. In this short reflection, I talk about how deeply this pattern can run, why it trips us up even when we're ready for change, and the very important role support plays in actually moving through it. If you're still sitting on the promise you made yourself at the beginning of this year, this one's for you. And if something in this episode resonates, I want you to know that you don't have to do this alone. Drop me an email and let’s chat! Or send me a DM on social media. You get to be supported as you embrace and embody the womxn you were born to be. Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    11 min

  3. Apr 24

    EP23: What are you waiting for? [S2E11]

    In this week's episode I really want to know how you're doing. Can you believe we’re 4 months into the year already!? Remember that promise you made to yourself at the beginning of this year? Have you started acting on it or is it still living in your head?  This is not about wishing things could be different but actually changing things by taking action. And it doesn't have to be huge leaps, but rather small steps in the direction of your dreams and desires. It's about following through on the promises you've made to yourself.  I also share the simple practice that's helped me stay consistent (even on the days I don't feel like it), and how you can start showing up for yourself in a way that actually sticks. I don't want you to wait until the end of the year to realise nothing's changed. You're going to take one step today, coz if not now, then when? Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠,⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    11 min

  4. Apr 17

    EP22: Dear Body, I want to be your friend... [S2E10]

    Most of us have been at war with our bodies for years. And while the body positivity movement invites us to love our bodies as they are, that can feel like such a big leap, especially in midlife, when everything is changing in ways nobody fully warned us about. In this episode, on this new moon day, I'm asking the question, "what if, instead of going straight to love, we started with friendship?" Befriending your body isn't about pretending to love what you see in the mirror. It's about getting curious, showing up, and choosing not to abandon yourself, one step at a time. This conversation started inside my group coaching programme, Becoming You, where we've been exploring embodiment and what it means to be present in our bodies. Because you cannot access the wisdom your body holds while you're still at war with it. Let me know how this lands for you. And if you know of other podcasts that talk about midlife, and getting out of your own way, then send them to me. I'd love the introduction because I want to practice what I preach and say YES to more guest spots. If not now, then when, right!? Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠,⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    15 min

  5. Apr 10

    EP21: You get to choose courage over comfort [S2E9]

    I did something brave this week. In this episode, I share what happened when I said yes to an opportunity, even though it didn't look the way I wanted it to. Even though I was scared. If you've been asking for change, this is your reminder that it won't always arrive in a comfortable package. And you won’t always feel ready. Be courageous anyway! Coz if not now, then when…? And if you know of other podcasts that talk about midlife, and getting out of your own way, then send them to me. I'd love the introduction coz I want to practice what I preach and say yes to more guest spots. Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠!

    14 min

  6. Apr 2

    EP20: The power of embracing elder energy [S2E8]

    Today I’m in conversation with Ingrid Irma Jones​, writer, storyteller, and ​m​y Afrikaans teacher at high school​, which makes this conversation even more special. We dive into the identity shifts that come with midlife​,​ the roles we outgrow, the ones we lose, and the quiet question many women find themselves asking, 'who am I now?' We speak about grief, loneliness, and the uncertainty that can come with this season​,​ and also what becomes possible when we allow ourselves to evolve. If you’ve been feeling like you’re in-between versions of yourself, this conversation will meet you there. You can follow Ingrid on TikTok​. Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠!

    48 min

  7. Mar 27

    EP19: Confessions of a recovering "good girl" [S2E7]

    So many of us were taught how to be ​"good girls​". You know, don​'t be too much​, don​'t be too loud​, keep the peace​, and so on, and so on... And somewhere along the way, we learnt to abandon parts of ourselves in order to be liked, accepted, and safe. In this episode, ​I share my own journey as a recovering good girl​, the patterns I​'m unlearning, the ways I​’ve held myself back, and what getting out of my own way looks like. This is an invitation to notice where you might still be playing small, ​censoring yourself, or seeking approval​. And to gently begin loosening your grip on that version of you. Because the woman you’re becoming​ isn't here to be good. She’s here to be free.​ Sending so much love!  PS: come follow me on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠ and ⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠!

    8 min

  8. Mar 20

    EP18: WTF!? Menopause hits different when you're a womxn of colour...?? [S2:E6]

    In part two of my conversation with GP and womxn's health specialist ⁠⁠Dr. Fumi Kokoali⁠⁠, we turn toward a conversation that I believe isn't being had enough, menopause and womxn of colour. We speak about how menopause shows up differently, cultural expectations, silence, shame, and why this conversation matters more than ever, especially here in South Africa. Because the more we talk about it, the less alone we feel. If you'd like to make an appointment with Dr Fumi, please reach out to ⁠The Women's Health Practice⁠. My business turned 9 this month, and I'm celebrating by gifting a listener with 1 private coaching session. Don't forget to share your favourite episode to enter. For details on the giveaway check out these ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ posts. Be sure to follow me on ⁠⁠⁠SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠!

    30 min
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About

Welcome to "If not now, then when...?", a podcast for midlife women who crave conversations that feel like a voice note from your bestie. We'll talk about the wild, beautiful process of reinventing yourself in midlife, from menopause & identity shifts to sensuality, grief & the radical act of becoming who you were always meant to be. Sprinkle in a little witchiness, some astrology, a touch of humour & a whole lot of truth! If something inside you has been whispering that it's time to stop playing small & start expressing yourself fully, this is your reminder. Coz if not now, then when...?

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