Climbing Fish Parenting

Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • 4.9 (9)
  • Parenting

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

  1. 2h ago

    Why Some Kids Implode and Others Explode

    Two kids. Same overwhelm, same stress, sometimes even the same diagnosis. And somehow one of them is loud about it, and the other one disappears. In this episode, Dr. Kristi breaks down why the exact same struggle can produce two completely different-looking kids — and why it has nothing to do with which one is "doing better." Drawing on a real case of two brothers with identical diagnoses and opposite presentations, she introduces the psychological framework of internalizing and externalizing behavior: two directions the same overwhelm can travel, and why one of those directions is so much easier to miss. You'll learn: Why the "quiet, easy" kid may be carrying just as much as the one causing all the phone calls home What the research actually shows about internalizing and externalizing in autistic and ADHD kids — and where that research is often misread Why a child's direction isn't fixed, and how the same kid can shift between the two depending on the day, the setting, or what else is going on at home What to actually do differently for a child who explodes outward versus one who goes silent Resources in this episode: Why Your Child Can't Just Calm Down, Dr. Kristi's free video training, now live at climbingfishparenting.com/calm.

    18 min
  2. You Might Also Like: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    3h ago ·  Bonus

    You Might Also Like: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    Introducing Layla Taylor EXCLUSIVE: The Truth She's Finally Ready To Share from On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Follow the show: On Purpose with Jay Shetty In one of her most honest conversations yet, Layla Taylor reflects on the quiet journey of becoming herself. She opens up about coming out as bisexual, navigating faith, identity, single motherhood, and the weight of growing up feeling like she had to fit into everyone else's expectations. Rather than focusing on the hardships alone, this episode explores what happens when you stop living in survival mode and finally choose authenticity, self-worth, and the freedom to define your own life. In this episode you'll learn: How to Stop Living for Other People's Approval How to Finally Embrace Your Authentic Self How to Leave a Toxic Relationship Without Regret How to Find Yourself After Divorce and Heartbreak How to Be Comfortable Being Alone for the First Time How to Turn Your Hardest Experiences Into Strength The greatest freedom comes from embracing yourself with honesty, letting go of the expectations that no longer serve you, and trusting that growth often begins on the other side of fear. Your story doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful, it just has to be yours. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:48 Coming Out for the First Time 02:45 Stop Living for Other People 03:48 Choosing to Be Yourself 06:33 Understanding Your Sexuality 07:56 Why We Need to Talk About Sex 10:08 Why I Became Mormon 12:50 The Need to Fit In 15:12 How My Kids Changed Me 16:53 Becoming a Mom at 19 18:15 Why I Chose Marriage 19:53 Inside a Toxic Relationship 21:04 Learning to Know Your Worth 23:24 Starting Over as a Single Mom 25:54 My Lowest Point 27:31 Learning to Date Again 29:05 Finding Yourself in Solitude 30:32 The Conversation Women Need to Have 33:08 Why Sex Education Matters 36:26 Letting Go of Perfection 36:59 Accepting Who You Are 38:51 Facing Your Biggest Fear 39:40 Dating Women for the First Time 41:07 The Reality of Parenting 43:00 Raising Mentally Healthy Kids 44:16 Healing Low Self-Worth 46:41 Using Your Platform for Good 47:58 Opening Your Heart Again 49:03 If You're Afraid to Come Out 52:30 Layla on Final Five  Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/laylaleannetaylor  TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@laylaleannetaylor See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  3. Jun 29

    The Skill Nobody's Born With

    A dad spends an entire summer teaching his son to ride a bike — holding the seat, running alongside, letting him wobble. Two weeks later, he's in the kitchen telling that same kid to "just calm down" during a meltdown over a broken cookie, with none of that same patience or teaching. No scaffolding. Just an instruction, expected to land on its own. In this episode: Why emotion regulation is a built skill, not something a child either has or doesn't have The three separate components a child's brain has to build to calm down: noticing escalation, pausing before reacting, and having a tool ready to use How this gap shows up differently for ADHD, autistic, and anxious kids, and why that matters for what to actually teach Concrete ways to start building the skill this week, including practicing the pause when nothing's wrong and building a visible toolbox before the storm hits Your kid isn't broken, and neither is your parenting — the skill just isn't finished being built yet. Resources mentioned: Why Your Kid Can't Calm Down — free training opens July 6 at  www.climbingfishparenting.com/products

    18 min

  4. Jun 22

    Why Your Teen's Reactions Feel So Much Bigger Than the Moment

    "You don't even like spending time with me." That's what came back after a mom asked her sixteen-year-old for one thing: text me when you get there. One line. Four seconds. And somehow it turned into a conversation about whether they'd ever have a good relationship. In this episode: -Why a request this small can detonate into something that feels like a referendum on the whole relationship -The brain science behind it — a reward system that peaks mid-adolescence, paired with a braking system that's still years from finished -Why this hits an ADHD or autistic teen's reactions even harder, and what's actually different underneath it -The one move to make in the moment, and the repair conversation to have afterward that actually builds frustration tolerance instead of just ending the fight The size of the reaction was real. It just wasn't about the text. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/quiz  Learn more about your kid's brain profile.

    19 min

  5. Jun 15

    "I'm Bored": What Your Neurodivergent Kid Is Actually Telling You

    You've pointed at the Lego bin. You've listed the options. You've suggested the thing they asked for three weeks ago. And they're still standing there looking at you like you are personally responsible for the problem. "I'm bored" — and it's not even July yet. In this episode: Why the school environment was quietly functioning as an external executive functioning system — and why removing it is a bigger neurological disruption than it looks Why an understimulated brain actually becomes less able to retrieve stored options from working memory, not more — and what to do instead of suggesting activities on the spot How to build an activity list with your child that removes the retrieval demand entirely, and how to layer a personalized challenge around it that works with how dopamine actually functions in neurodivergent brains A specific in-the-moment sequence for the next time you hear "I'm bored" — including why not solving it immediately is part of what shifts the pattern Once you understand what "I'm bored" is actually communicating, it stops feeling like a complaint and starts feeling like information. That's when you can actually do something useful with it. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

    18 min

  6. Jun 8

    Summer Q&A: Chores That Never Get Done, House Rules That Aren't Sticking, and Yes — Whether Your Kid Actually Needs to Shower

    School is out — and suddenly you're realizing your kid has no idea how to set the table, hasn't showered since Tuesday, and is tracking mud through the kitchen for the fourteenth time this week. Summer doesn't create new problems. It reveals the ones that were always there, quietly held up by structures that are now gone. In this episode: Why chores that seemed manageable during the school year suddenly fall apart — and how to identify which specific executive function step is getting in the way Why house rules stop working the moment kids are on autopilot, and why redesigning the moment beats restating the rule Common reasons kids resist showering in summer — sensory discomfort, time blindness, initiation struggles — and strategies for each There's a gap between knowing the rule and applying it in context. That gap responds to environmental design, not repeated reminders. Resources mentioned: climbingfishparenting.com/newsletter

    19 min

  7. Jun 1

    The Child Only You Know

    You've been in that room. The parent-teacher conference. The conversation with the coach or the family member who loves your child and is still somehow describing a person you don't quite recognize. And you sat there, nodding, holding it together, thinking: that's not my kid. That's a version of my kid. But it's not the whole thing. This episode is about why the picture you're carrying is more clinically valuable than anyone has ever told you — and why getting a map for it doesn't add to your load. It makes what you're already carrying lighter. In this episode: Why parent and teacher ratings of the same child correlate at only 0.30 — and what that number actually means for what you've been seeing at home Why the gap between who your child is at school and who they are with you is not inconsistency — it's the most important data you have What the assessment literature says about parent report that nobody has ever said to your face Why doing this without a map is costing you more than you realize — and what changes when you finally have one Plus: a story about a driver's ed instructor who wrote my daughter off on day one — and what happened by the end. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why you are not the less objective observer. You are the broadest one. And that changes everything. 🔗 Free live training — When Everyone Else Says Your Kid Is Fine: climbingfishparenting.com/webinar

    14 min

  8. May 25

    Why Your Teenager Holds It Together All Day — And What That's Actually Costing Them

    The shower drain kept clogging. They used Draino. They snaked it themselves. They called a plumber. Nobody connected it to their daughter. And then a mom went to smooth her daughter's comforter. And saw a clump of hair on the pillow. That pause — before she fully understood what she was looking at — is where this episode begins. Because a lot of parents of teenagers are living in some version of that pause right now. Something is slightly off. The bedroom door is always closed. The headaches every Sunday evening. The grumpiness that sleep doesn't fix. The tears without obvious cause. This episode is about what you might be looking at when you pause. And why it's more predictable — and more readable — than it feels. In this episode: The spectrum of what holding-it-together looks like when it starts to spill — from the subtle signs to the more serious ones, and why all of it is the same thing wearing different clothes Why teenagers know they're struggling in a way younger kids often don't — and what that self-awareness costs them What Brené Brown's research on shame tells us about the wall of anger you get when you see something your teenager didn't want you to see The one thing to try this week that isn't a confrontation, a system, or a conversation you've been dreading A note on the research: most of what we know comes from studies done primarily on male children. If your teenager isn't male or doesn't fit the textbook presentation — I talk about that gap in this episode. If you are worried about your child right now: climbingfishparenting.com/resources. If it is a crisis, please seek crisis support immediately. 🔗 Don't miss what's coming: climbingfishparenting.com

    17 min
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Trailer

4.9
out of 5
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About

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. If you're an exhausted parent who's tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You're carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child's behaviors don't respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn't fit. Here's what I need you to know: You're not failing. You're just using the wrong map. I'm Dr. Kristi, a psychologist and behavior analyst, and I help parents understand their child's unique wiring and use strategies that actually work. Whether your child has a diagnosis or you just know they're wired differently—whether it's ADHD, ASD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or they're just... not like the parenting books describe—this is for you. No fluff. No shame. Just practical, evidence-based guidance from someone who gets it. Each episode gives you real strategies for real challenges—meltdowns, school struggles, bedtime battles, and everything in between. This is where we stop asking fish to climb trees and start helping them swim.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kristi Clarke
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    43
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Climbing Fish Parenting

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