Therapy, Coaching & Dreams

Dee Kelley
  • 5.0 (9)
  • Self-Improvement

Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.

  1. 1d ago

    S2E28 Introvert or Extrovert

    Send us Fan Mail A party can be the same room for two people and two completely different experiences. One of us leaves buzzing with energy and wants to keep the night going. The other is wiped out, even if we had a great time. We unpack introvert vs extrovert as an energy and recovery dynamic, not a character flaw, and we talk honestly about the quiet shame many introverts feel when they think they “should” be having more fun.  From there, we zoom in on what actually happens in real relationships. When one partner works the room and the other stays put, both people can walk away feeling abandoned for totally different reasons. We share practical ways to bring self-awareness into social gatherings, including simple check-ins that communicate “I’m with you” without forcing anyone to perform. We also explore how silence can trigger anxiety for extroverts and how that discomfort can become a surprising laboratory for self-discovery.  To make it concrete, we run the conversation through the STIR personality model: stabilizer, transformer, initiator, responder. We describe what an extroverted stabilizer looks like in group problem solving, how an introverted transformer can be wildly creative in private, why an introverted initiator might love starting new ventures but hate maintaining the system, and how responders nurture either in the spotlight or behind the scenes. If you’re curious about personality types, couples therapy tools, social anxiety triggers, and energy management strategies that actually work, this one gives you a clear map.  Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who always wants to leave early or stay late, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of the introvert extrovert dynamic shows up most in your life right now? You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  2. Sep 24

    S2E27 Imagination and Anxiety

    Send us Fan Mail One unfamiliar phrase on a medical lab report. And then, one late-night internet search. Suddenly your mind is certain you’re headed for the worst-case scenario. We know that feeling, and we dig into why it happens: imagination rushes in to fill the blanks, anxiety grabs the pen, and the “story in your head” starts reading like facts.  We talk through how catastrophizing and rumination work, why waiting for real information can feel unbearable, and how selective attention quietly filters out anything that contradicts the fear narrative. Then we shift toward tools that actually help, including a simple but surprisingly effective move: labeling a thought as a story and asking what it’s trying to do for you.  From there, we widen the lens. Dreams become an example of imagination running every night, offering a way to relate to your inner world with curiosity instead of fear. We also touch on how some religious environments and purity culture can teach people to distrust imagination, and what it looks like to reclaim focused imagination in a grounded, healthy way.  Finally, we get practical with visualization, practice, and progress. We unpack why picturing a better outcome needs real detail, why setbacks do not erase growth, and how to measure change by longer gaps between relapses and shorter time spent stuck. If you care about anxiety management, mental health coaching, therapy tools, and building emotional flexibility, this conversation will give you language and next steps. Subscribe, share with a friend who overthinks, and leave a review, what “story in your head” are you ready to challenge? You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  3. Sep 10

    S2E26 Seeing Others

    Send us Fan Mail We use the STIR model to get clear on what different personality energies need so we can stop guessing and start showing up well for the people we care about. We share concrete ways to support initiators, transformers, responders, and stabilizers at home and at work without losing ourselves in the process.  • using a personality template to reduce relationship guesswork  • what initiators need most: space, trust, and fewer bottlenecks  • parenting dynamic kids with freedom and safety  • what transformers need most: permission to be spontaneous without constant correction  • what responders need most: validation, recognition, and the ability to receive  • what stabilizers need most: information, structure, and respect for their process  • choosing understanding over being right  • using “private logic” questions to uncover the story behind behavior  • asking directly for needs when assumptions fail  You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  4. Sep 2

    S2E25 The History and Practics of STIR

    Send us Fan Mail We dig into the STIR personality model and why personality balance matters more than personality labels. We connect relationship conflict to projection, stress patterns, and the hard truth that insight only becomes healing when it turns into action.  • the STIR framework as four interaction styles: stabilizer, transformer, initiator, responder  • how the model develops through clinical work, client feedback, and Jungian influence  • masculine and feminine energy as task orientation versus relational orientation  • static versus dynamic patterns and why they collide in couples therapy  • a classic stabilizer transformer pairing and how exhaustion builds over time  • why modeling “more of the same” backfires and practicing the opposite creates balance  • how criticism erases effort and why reinforcement shapes new behavior  • projection in long-term relationships and using differences as a teacher  You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  5. Aug 26

    SE24 Listener Q&A

    Send us Fan Mail We answer listener questions that get practical fast, from what it means to be a licensed therapist to how state rules shape who can practice where. Then we shift into the STIR personality model to talk about birth order, family dynamics, parenting, and why self-awareness matters more than forcing yourself to change.  • what “licensed” means and why states regulate therapy  • degrees, supervised hours, and licensing exams as the baseline path  • cross-state practice limits and the liability side beyond insurance  • why coaching is less regulated and why it avoids therapy language  • how therapy training varies by approach and specialization  • how to vet a therapist through websites, questions, and referrals  • how birth order may nudge personality style within the STIR model  • parenting dynamics that reward or squelch traits over time  • choosing relationship over winning during conflict with your kids  • sustaining growth with self-awareness as you age  For those who are listening, if you have questions, certainly throw them out there.  You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  6. Aug 21

    S2E23 How Personality Shapes The Way We Grieve

    Send us Fan Mail Grief has a way of humbling every personality style, especially the ones that love a plan. We sit down with Jim Shaley to talk about what grief really looks like when it’s not tidy, not linear, and definitely not finished by the end of a single conversation. The five stages of grief can be a useful starting point, but we challenge the idea that healing means you stop feeling sad. For most of us, the goal is simpler and harder: learning how to live with loss without being flattened by it. We also widen the definition of grief. Yes, bereavement after death matters, but so do the quieter losses people dismiss: empty nest syndrome, retirement, a pet dying, a relationship that changes, or the midlife realization that certain dreams won’t happen. When we don’t name those experiences as grief, we tend to cope through avoidance and then wonder why we feel stuck, reactive, or numb. Using the STIR model of personality styles, we map the different ways people sidestep pain: initiators push ahead, stabilizers stay busy and organized, responders over-function for others, and transformers distract with humor or impulsive coping. Then we get practical about what helps, including how to borrow strengths from the other styles, how partners can “carry a few pounds of grief” for each other, and why noticing triggers before someone has to ask is a quiet form of real empathy. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone walking through loss, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation. What kind of grief do you think our culture overlooks the most? You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  7. Aug 12

    S2E22 Pt 2 - You Can Regain Control In The Middle Of Work Shock

    Send us Fan Mail Vocational Trauma Your anxiety spikes, your mind races, and suddenly you’re pricing out worst-case scenarios: health insurance, bills, the family vacation, the next job. We pick up a candid conversation on vocational trauma and talk about what actually helps when work stress hits your body like an alarm you can’t shut off. We start with the most overlooked tool for job loss anxiety and workplace panic: breathing. Not as a slogan, but as a way to ground your nervous system so you can think again. We dig into why stress makes us hold our breath, how tension shows up in the jaw and mouth, and a small cue that can help release it: “allow your tongue to drop.” From there, we walk through a practical way to slow the spiral by naming your biggest fear, taking it step by step, and finding one small action that brings you back to the present like a lifeline phone call or a walk outside. Then we widen the lens to chronic workplace stress: new bosses, new employees, changing job descriptions, and team dynamics that turn staff meetings into dread. Using the STR personality model, we explore how different people react under pressure, why self-awareness matters, and how patterns like catastrophizing, minimizing, and overfunctioning can quietly make everything heavier. We also offer a clear, pragmatic reframe for surviving a tough boss: treat your supervisor like your most important customer, even when you don’t like them, and decide what choice keeps you healthiest. If this helped, subscribe, share the episode with someone navigating a work shock, and leave a review so more people can find support when they need it most. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

  8. Aug 6

    S2 E22 Pt1 When Work Breaks You (Jim & Dee)

    Send us Fan Mail We dig into vocational trauma and why job loss, demotions, workplace upheaval, and feeling trapped at work can shake your finances, relationships, and sense of self. We walk through what helps in the first wave of shock and how to rebuild control and identity without pretending the pain is not real.   • definitions and real-world triggers of vocational trauma, from firings to reorganizations and workplace conflict   • why mid-career job loss can hit harder than early career uncertainty   • financial ripple effects  • triage questions for a coaching session, including whether the loss was expected   • validating shock and unfairness while finding the next best step   • narrowing focus to what you can control today  • external vs internal locus of control and how it shapes recovery   • how vocational trauma can create relationship tension, resentment, and role reversals   • identity crisis when self-worth is tied to productivity or a job title   • doing necessary work now to protect long-term options and wellbeing   Please join us in the next episode for part two. Until then, keep growing, stay curious, and take good care of yourself. You can connect with the cohosts through their respective websites: AFCCounselors.com (Dr. Shalley) / https://www.inyourdreams.coach/contact (Dr. Kelley)

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5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.

Information

  • Creator
    Dee Kelley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    51
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Therapy, Coaching & Dreams
  • Show Website
    Therapy, Coaching & Dreams

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