Leading Ain't Easy

Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
  • 5.0 (6)
  • Management

Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Created by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

  1. 5d ago

    The Leaders We Create (feat. Erny Epley)

    Every leader is teaching — the question is what lesson is actually landing. Ryan Calkins, John Moore, and Erny Epley talk through the unintentional ways we shape the people around us: how we act under pressure, who we show up for, what we carry from the leaders who shaped us, and what we'd want someone to take with them after working for us for five years. Most of the influence you have as a leader isn't the kind you planned, but rather in the little things: whether you check in with your team when you're stretched thin, how you talk about other departments when you're frustrated, and whether you show up differently for the people who can do something for you versus the ones who can't. Ryan, John, and Erny get into all of it in an honest, wide-ranging conversation about the leaders we become and the ones we're quietly creating. What they get into: How Erny learned (after being reprimanded) that bad-mouthing another department has a longer tail than the frustration that caused it, and what he does differently nowThe preference trap in internal promotions: why liking someone and knowing them well can be the exact reason you make the wrong callWhat it looks like to accidentally build a team that depends on you to fix everything, and the health scare that made Erny start letting goJohn on what it actually meant to navigate leadership as a Black man in corporate America: the weight of having no margin for error, and how that shaped the way he prepared, observed, and showed upRyan on imposter syndrome, confidence struggles, and the back-and-forth between "this is exactly where I want to be" and "I should fold it up and go get a job", even nowThe question worth sitting with: if someone worked for you for five years, what would you want them to take with them?The honest takeaway from this one isn't a framework. It's a reminder that influence isn't always controllable, but it's always your responsibility. "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  2. Jul 21

    The Leadership Hangover: Living With the Decisions You Had to Make

    Every leadership resource tells you how to make the hard call. Nobody tells you what happens after. Ryan Calkins and John Moore talk through the emotional and psychological fallout of difficult leadership decisions (terminations, layoffs, denied promotions, etc.) and what it actually looks like to carry that weight while still showing up for your team. Most leadership content stops at the decision. This episode starts there. Ryan and John get into the part that doesn't make it into the books: the aftermath of hard calls. What it feels like the day after a termination. How to face the person you just denied a promotion. What the team members left behind are going through that leaders often miss. And why nobody in leadership training ever prepared either of them for any of it. What comes up in the conversation: The difference between making a hard decision and living with one, and why the emotional weight doesn't care whether the call was rightWhat actually happens to a team after a layoff, beyond the logistics of redistributed workloadThe tension between confidence and callousness, and why the leaders who seem unaffected aren't handling it better, they're just further from their own humanityWhy the compliment sandwich and the scripted delivery exist, when they work, and when they make everything worseThe shift from ruminating on what you could have done differently to actually learning from it and carrying it forwardWhy mental health support, mentors, and honest self-reflection aren't soft add-ons for leaders, they're operational necessitiesThis is a practitioner conversation, not a framework. Two people who've been in these rooms talking honestly about what it cost them, and more importantly, what it taught them. "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  3. Jul 14

    Who's Really to Blame When Employees Leave? (feat. Erny Epley)

    A viral LinkedIn post claimed that if five employees leave within a year of your leadership, you're the problem. Ryan Calkins, John Moore, and returning show staple Erny Epley take that take apart, share real stories from their own careers, and get honest about what turnover actually tells you about a leader. For anyone who's ever taken someone leaving too personally... or not personally enough. Ryan, John, and Erny (original co-host, back for the first time in a while) sit down with a LinkedIn post that's been making the rounds: if employees are leaving under your leadership, you're the failure. It's provocative. It's got some truth in it, but it lands in a place none of them can quite agree with. What they get into: Where the post gets it right and where it goes off the rails — There are real situations where leadership drives people out. But bundling every departure into one blanket verdict ignores everything that's actually happening in organizations, including the people who leave because of good leadership that helped them grow past what the role could offer.The mindset that quietly makes you a worse leader — Ryan traces the early-career belief that every departure reflects on him back to real consequences: softening hard conversations, letting standards slide, keeping people happy in ways that actually made things worse for everyone.Three kinds of departures, three honest stories — The one you lost because of your own failure. The one you couldn't have kept no matter what. The one you should have let go sooner. The trap of being liked — John on holding back accountability because he didn't want to be that manager, and how that always compounds the problem.What five people leaving in a year might actually mean — Sometimes turnover is a signal. Sometimes it's a clean-out. Sometimes it's just life. The question isn't the number, but rather what you do with the information.The real measure of good leadership is NOT whether people stay, but what they do when they leave."Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  4. Jul 7

    The Higher You Go, the Less You Actually Hear

    Ryan Calkins and John Moore get into the leadership echo chamber; how it forms, why it's usually the leader's own doing, and what it costs when the people around you stop telling you the truth. If you've ever wondered whether your team is actually giving you real feedback or just telling you what you want to hear, this one's for you. Most leaders assume that moving up means more information, more transparency, and more honest conversation. Ryan and John have both been around long enough to know it usually works the opposite way, and that the silence isn't always the team's fault. In this episode, they get into: How the echo chamber forms — not through some grand conspiracy, but through small daily signals about what happens when someone disagrees or brings bad newsJohn's story of raising every legitimate problem on a project in front of the big man — and getting a call before he made it to his carRyan's experience building a 360 feedback system — going out of his way to make it genuinely anonymous, and still getting back answers that were too nice to be usefulThe difference between dissent and complaining — and why the way you bring something forward matters as much as what you're bringingWhat honest leadership actually looks like — not consensus, but staying open when someone pushes back, even when it slows things downThey close with three questions worth sitting with: Who in your life can actually tell you you're wrong? When was the last time someone changed your mind? And are people agreeing with you because they believe in you... or because you're the boss? "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  5. Jun 30

    Being a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry — One Leader's Story (feat. Ammie Bird (Brandon))

    Ammie Bird (Brandon) led operations for 15 years at a Fortune 250 waste management company, one of the most male-dominated and physically dangerous industries around. She joins Ryan Calkins and John Moore for an honest conversation about earning respect, surviving a toxic work culture, and the limits of company support when things got genuinely dangerous. This one is for anyone who has had to prove themselves in a room that wasn't built for them. Ammie spent 15 years climbing the ranks in Waste Management operations, eventually managing a staff of over 120 people. Ryan and John talk with her about what that journey actually looked like, not the version that fits on a recruiting poster. Ammie walks through her early days proving herself to a skeptical, mostly male crew, including a moment hauling a "bulky item" pickup herself that became an unofficial test of whether she belonged. She and the hosts get into the language and culture of operations work, the overcompensation many women in male-dominated fields feel pressured into, and the small but telling details women often catch that men in the same rooms miss. The conversation gets into harder territory too. Ammie describes being recruited specifically to change a toxic site culture, only to find the support she was promised didn't always materialize. She talks candidly about being threatened at work, the company's response times falling short of what the moment required, and eventually making the decision to carry a firearm to work without telling her husband, who was sick at the time. Through all of it, Ammie returns to a few core ideas: lead people, manage processes, and don't try to be everything to everyone. Her "coffee, carrot, and egg" analogy for staying true to yourself under pressure is one of the more memorable frameworks to come out of this show. What's covered: Earning credibility as one of the only women in an operations leadership roleThe overcompensation pressure women face in male-dominated industriesWhat changes when you're recruited to fix a culture nobody else couldThe real story behind carrying a firearm to workLeading people vs. managing processesThe best leadership advice she ever received, and why it's stuck with her"Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  6. Jun 23

    When Leadership Gets Personal

    Ryan Calkins and John Moore talk through what happens when you can't separate the manager from yourself; when your team's struggles start to feel like your own failures. This one's for anyone who's ever cared too much about people who didn't ask for it. There's a version of leadership nobody warns you about: the one where you stop being able to tell where your job ends and your own sense of worth begins. Ryan and John spend this episode in that exact spot. Ryan talks through why he's spent his whole career trying to rebuild the camaraderie he had in the military, and what it costs when a team doesn't want that kind of closenessJohn gets into the staff member who told him flatly, "we're not friends, this is just a job", and why it stuck with him longer than he expectedThey both sit with a manager's old rule — "own everything" — and try to figure out honestly what a leader can and can't actually ownRyan revisits the PIP story from a past episode, this time from the other side: what it felt like when the person he fought to save left without telling himJohn shares the time he reported a problem in good faith and got removed from the process, and what he'd do differentlyThey land on the real distinction: empathy without removing consequences, caring without needing to rescue, and accepting that leadership has limits"Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  7. Jun 16

    When Being the Go-To Person Becomes the Problem

    Every team has the person everyone depends on, and sometimes that person is the leader. Ryan Calkins and John Moore discuss what happens when that dependency stops being a strength and starts becoming a trap, for both the leader and the team that has stopped growing because of it. There's a version of being a good leader that looks like being available, reliable, and always there with an answer. Ryan and John have both been that person. This episode is an honest conversation about why it feels good at first, why it eventually breaks, and what it actually takes to stop being the bottleneck you didn't know you'd become. They get into: Why the "hero" feeling is real, and why it eventually flips into overwhelm without much warningThe difference between a team that's supported and a team that's dependent, and how leaders accidentally create the latterWhat it means to hire for the future and not just for now, and how bad hiring decisions show up later as a delegation problemThe coaching shift: moving away from quick fixes and toward questions that build the other person's thinking, not just your own efficiencyWhat actually happens when you let people fail: the internal fear, the temporary dip, and why the long game justifies itThe real cost when a leader can't let go: team members who stop growing, start looking for the door, and never tell you whyRyan and John aren't presenting a framework here. They're talking through what they've actually lived; the validation, the overwhelm, the insecurity, and the moments that finally changed the way they led. "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

  8. Jun 9

    The Nice Boss Trap

    Ryan Calkins and John Moore talk through what happens when the instinct to be understanding slowly slides into avoidance, and why the thing that feels like kindness ends up being harder on everyone. A real conversation for anyone who's been letting things go and wondering why it's getting worse. Most leaders don't start out trying to be a pushover. They start out trying not to be the boss they hated (the one who rode them for being a minute late, who never seemed to care about the person behind the job). That's a reasonable instinct. The problem is where it leads. Ryan and John have both been there, and in this episode, they talk through what actually happens when "understanding" becomes "avoiding", and what it takes to find the balance. They get into: How letting small things slide stops being a leadership strategy and starts being a culture problem. Because one person going a minute late becomes five minutes, and then everyone's watching to see what the rules actually areThe real reasons leaders avoid hard conversations: fear of not being liked, fear of damaging relationships they've spent years building, and sometimes just not knowing how to startWhat nobody teaches new leaders when they get promoted, and how the absence of that training leaves people improvising in situations where it matters mostWhy clarity is actually the kinder move, and how Ryan thinks about delivering bad news in a way that's honest, respectful, and doesn't leave people guessingWhat showing up for your people actually looks like: not just the words you use, but how present you are when it countsThe episode closes with a question worth sitting with: who is paying the price for the conversations you've been putting off? "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

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About

Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Created by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    39
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Leading Ain't Easy
  • Show Website
    Leading Ain't Easy