1D AGO

Episode 11 - Managing Up: How to Lead Without Authority

Managing up is one of the most important leadership skills and one of the least taught. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley talk about what it really looks like to lead when you don’t have authority over the people who influence your success: your boss, senior leaders, and cross-functional departments that control the data, budget, timelines, and decisions you’re expected to execute. If you’ve ever been told “figure it out” without support… if you’ve been burned by a surprise that climbed the chain… or if you’ve struggled to communicate your vision clearly under pressure... then this episode is for you. In this episode, we cover: Why leadership hates surprises (and how to avoid blindsiding your boss)How to tailor your communication to how your boss receives informationHow to challenge leadership without being seen as “difficult”Why documentation matters (and how to protect yourself with clarity)The mindset shift: clarity beats competenceQuestion for listeners: Where do you struggle most with managing up; clarity, timing, politics, or trust? Key takeaways Don’t let your boss get blindsided; give heads up early.Communicate to be understood, not just heard.Lead with the solution, then support with context.Use data to paint a clear picture fast.Document agreements and decisions (protects everyone).Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

49 min

JAN 13

Episode 10 - Coaching in Leadership (feat. Alicia Sanders)

Most leaders are coaching whether they realize it or not. The question is whether they’re doing it intentionally… or accidentally. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny are joined by Alicia Sanders, a Director of Supply Chain Management in hospital logistics, to break down coaching as a practical leadership skill; especially in high-pressure environments where deadlines don’t stop so “development” can happen. We talk about the difference between managing vs coaching, why coaching creates real capability (not just compliance), and the hard reality leaders face when someone refuses accountability, including when coaching ends and performance management begins. If you’re tired of doing the job for your team, this episode is your reminder: coaching is slower in the moment… but faster over time. What we cover Managing vs coaching: directing tasks vs developing thinkingWhy coaching isn’t one-size-fits-allCoaching through strengths (and why EQ matters)Mentorship vs coaching, and when leaders must do bothDaily huddles/check-ins as a simple, repeatable coaching practiceThe “cut your losses” question: accountability, engagement, and realityPDCA (Plan–Do–Check–Act) as a coaching frameworkThe coaching pitfall: focusing only on the squeaky wheel and burning out high performersKey takeaway Coaching doesn't mean being “nice” or “helpful.” It’ means being effective and creating clarity, building capability, and holding standards without rescuing people. Connect with us YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCLoVJP2UfHuJzOyNx4fHpg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reframerise/ or https://www.instagram.com/buspro_network/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/leading-ain-t-easy-podcast/ Call to action If this episode hit home, drop a comment or message us: What’s the hardest part of coaching people in your environment? "Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

48 min

JAN 6

Episode 9 - Leadership 101: What We Wish We Knew Before Leading Others

If you’re stepping into leadership for the first time (or thinking about it) this episode is your warning label and your playbook. Ryan and Erny break down what they wish they knew before they ever had direct reports: why leadership is more about people than technical skill, why your motivation matters more than your title, how to handle accountability for things you didn’t personally do, and what happens when you get promoted over your friends. We also talk about the stuff nobody puts in the leadership books: The invisible mental loadThe emotional whiplash of “good days and bad days”Taking feedback when it comes in an ugly packageThe difference between “buy-in” and manipulationWhy moving too fast as a new leader can backfireIf leadership has felt heavier than you expected, this one’s for you. Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

51 min

12/30/2025

Episode 8 - Invisible Pressures of Middle Management

Middle management is a grind: high responsibility, limited authority, and pressure from every direction. In this episode, we break down the invisible weight middle managers carry, like being the translator, mediator, protector, and problem-solver while taking heat for things you didn’t even control. We talk burnout, boundaries, empathy, and how to implement decisions you don’t fully agree with without abandoning your integrity. If you’re in the middle and exhausted, this one will feel familiar; and it’ll give you language (and tools) for what you’ve been carrying. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

44 min

12/23/2025

Episode 7 - Know Your Worth

Knowing your worth is easy to say but can be hard to live. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny unpack what it really means to understand your value as a leader; beyond titles, money, or years of service. From imposter syndrome and loyalty traps to quitting without a backup plan, they explore how self-worth quietly erodes when effort isn’t recognized and support disappears at the top. This is an honest conversation about: When loyalty turns into self-sacrificeWhy “prove yourself first” can cost you years of progressThe difference between confidence, entitlement, and arroganceHow leaders can objectively evaluate their worth using feedback, results, and integrityWhy settling eventually leads to burnout (even when you don’t see it coming)If you’ve ever stayed too long, taken less than you deserved, or waited for permission to be valued… this episode is for you. Episode Chapters / Timestamps 00:50 — Intro: Know Your Worth (not titles or money) 01:33 — Erny’s story: stuck in a broken system + glass ceiling 02:10 — When effort isn’t valued at the top 04:54 — “They were chanting my name” 06:55 — The “donuts” moment: realizing support isn’t coming 08:51 — Walking away without another job lined up 10:22 — Worth vs perception: when others define your value 12:10 — Ryan: undervaluing yourself and the loyalty trap 14:59 — “You’re not the only idiot”: taking less pay to prove yourself 18:21 — Guilt, loyalty, and why companies won’t match it 19:54 — Negotiating up front vs earning your place 21:00 — A brutal interview failure and learning to sell yourself 24:18 — Turning failure into a long-term strength 25:29 — Advocating for yourself while staying team-oriented 28:13 — The hidden cost of settling 29:22 — Overvaluing yourself: arrogance vs entitlement 30:33 — Confidence vs arrogance (where it crosses the line) 32:23 — Slowing down and leading with data 34:30 — Measuring worth: metrics + intangibles 40:29 — How to actually gauge self-worth 41:00 — Ryan’s reflection framework 44:43 — Erny’s feedback-driven approach 49:21 — Key takeaway: Worth is earned through integrity 49:42 — Standing up for yourself without burning bridges 50:46 — Listener reflection question 51:16 — Closing Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

52 min

12/16/2025

Episode 6 - Fix Your Face: How Your "Tell" Can Make or Break Your Leadership

You don’t have to say a word for people to know exactly what you’re thinking. Sometimes your face gets there first. In Episode 6 of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny dig into the idea of “Fix Your Face” and how your nonverbal tells can completely change the way people experience your leadership. In this episode, we cover: Why you can’t “not communicate” A workshop exercise makes it painfully obvious: even when you’re silent, your body and face are saying plenty.When your emotions live on your face Ryan talks about getting in trouble for “lack of bearing” in Marine Corps boot camp and how that same struggle followed him into his professional life.The coworker who kept whispering “fix your face” How one colleague’s honest feedback turned into a mantra Ryan still uses in every tough meeting.Erny’s public board meeting lesson A clerical error, a very public question, and the moment his panic face cost him trust and put his work under a microscope.Authentic vs. unfiltered Being real doesn’t mean letting every reaction show. You don’t have to give everyone your unedited response to be honest and trustworthy.Tools to keep your bearing when you disagreeMicro-resets: adjust your posture, take a sip of water, breatheRe-centering questions: “Why are we here?” and “What’s the actual objective?”Using silence to collect your thoughts instead of firing back defensivelyChoosing where (and with whom) to vent Why it’s healthy to have safe people and places to unload, and how venting in front of your team can quietly erode trust in you and your organization.Leading with intention, not impulse How to stay human and expressive while still being intentional about the message your face, body, and tone are sending.If you’ve ever been told, “your face is saying a lot right now,” this one’s for you. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

47 min

12/09/2025

Episode 5 - The Cost of Being the Good Guy

Being the “good guy” at work sounds great on paper. You’re empathetic. You listen. You try to do right by people. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You take the high road, even when it stings a little. But over time, that version of leadership can start to cost you. In this episode, Erny and Ryan unpack what happens when being the good guy quietly slides into people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and eventually burnout. We get into: How empathy can quietly turn into people-pleasingErny’s story of letting small behavior slide until it became a fairness and favoritism problemWhy “being the hero” for your team can actually make everything harderHolding people accountable without becoming the office hard-assThe emotional weight of being everyone’s “go-to” personWhy good-guy leaders burn out faster than we want to admitHow to set boundaries before you hit the “I’m done” wallBeing honest when you’re not at 100%, and how to lean on your teamDoing the right thing even when it costs you time, energy, or popularityWe’re not telling you to stop being the good guy. The point is to stay compassionate without losing yourself; to care about your people and hold the line on what your role actually requires. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’m trying to do right by everyone… so why am I the one who’s exhausted?” this one’s for you. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

47 min

12/02/2025

Episode 4 - Leading As Yourself (w/ John Moore)

In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, we’re joined by special guest, John Moore (a longtime training leader turned coach) who has spent over 20 years leading teams in corporate environments that didn’t always make it easy to show up as himself. We dig into what it means to “lead as yourself” in 2025, why so many workplaces feel colder and more transactional than they used to, and how you can still lead with empathy, love, and high standards without getting steamrolled. John shares stories from the boardroom, layoffs, and leadership programs that tried to strip out personality, and how he’s intentionally done the opposite: building relationships, earning trust, and creating spaces where people actually want to work and learn. Along the way, we also get into the messy parts: confidence vs. arrogance, being asked to “tone it down,” the cost of caring in environments that don’t, and how to stay human when you’re the one delivering hard news. In this episode, we talk about: Why trying to copy someone else’s leadership style will burn you outThe difference between confidence and arrogance (and how to tell which one you’re leading from)How corporate culture shifted from “we know your family” to “you’re a line item”What to do when you’re asked to cut people you actually know and care aboutWhy new leaders should learn and do first before they start delegatingHow to build credibility and buy-in by being a doer instead of just a directorPractical ways to stay grounded and authentic when the job demands hard decisionsIf you’ve ever felt like you had to hide who you are to be taken seriously as a leader, this one’s for you. "Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

55 min

11/25/2025

Episode 3 - Loneliness at the Top

No one really tells you how lonely leadership can get, especially the higher you climb. In this episode, Ryan and Erny talk candidly about the isolation that comes with being the one everyone turns to. The pressure, the silence, the responsibility you can’t unload on your team, and the shrinking safety net as you move up. They discuss: • Why support turns into “context,” not coverage • The truth behind “that’s why you get paid the big bucks” • Taking the blame when the public or leadership is angry • Holding your team accountable without favoritism • Being the buffer (even when you’re struggling yourself) • When past toxic workplaces follow you into new roles If you’ve ever felt like leadership puts you on an island (with or without the title), this conversation will feel real and grounding. You’re not the only one feeling the weight, even if it seems like you’re the only one carrying it. Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

45 min

11/18/2025

Episode 2 - Leadership Beyond Titles

Leadership isn’t something you unlock the day you get a promotion. It starts long before you ever have authority, a team, or an impressive title. In this episode, Ryan and Erny break down the real difference between managing and leading. They share stories about leading from the background, stepping up without recognition, and the trap new managers fall into when they rely on their title instead of their actions. They get into: • Why the best leaders often don’t have the title • Leading as a bus driver, a supervisor, or the “go-to” person on the team • The danger of leaning on hierarchy instead of character • Going from coworker to boss without becoming a jerk • Learning everyone’s job so you can actually support your team If you’re in a role where you’re trying to lead without formal authority, or you’re stepping into your first leadership position, this episode will feel familiar in all the right ways. Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

1h 2m

11/11/2025

Episode 1 - Imposter Syndrome

In this Episode: The hosts focus on Imposter Syndrome, the feeling that you don't deserve your position and are waiting for someone to call you out. Defining the Doubt: Erny shares his first managerial experience (being a young boss to older, more experienced employees) and the blunt question that triggered his earliest professional imposter syndrome.Early Career Terrors: Ryan recounts being a 19-year-old Lance Corporal marksmanship coach, tasked with instructing NCOs and officers who had far more time in the service than he did.Winning Over the Team: The hosts discuss the challenges of being the "FNG" manager, including Ryan's struggle to earn the trust of seasoned drivers at a waste collection company, and how his dedication eventually won them over.Ego and Trust: They explore the pitfall of meeting an employee's ego with your own, and how over-controlling or overly defensive leadership kills trust.Breaking the Cycle: Learn the practice of humble leadership: admitting you don't have all the answers and collaborating with your team.The Pyramid of Leadership: Erny shares a powerful analogy that helps leaders recognize why they are the right person for the job, despite feeling like they're "nothing special."This episode is about embracing the struggle, staying humble, and leading anyway. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

45 min

SEASON 1, EPISODE 1 TRAILER

Episode 0 - Welcome to Leading Ain’t Easy

Leadership isn’t all highlight reels, motivational quotes, or textbook frameworks. It’s messy, isolating, full of self-doubt, and it rarely looks the way it does on social media. That’s why we created Leading Ain’t Easy. In this special intro episode, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley pull back the curtain on what this show is all about. We share our leadership journeys; from the Marine Corps, student government, and private-sector consulting to public-sector transportation leadership and building our own businesses. Along the way, we’ve faced plenty of challenges: leading teams who didn’t trust us, managing under public scrutiny, building culture from the ground up, and wrestling with imposter syndrome ourselves. Here’s what you can expect from this podcast: Real stories about the side of leadership no one puts on their résumé.Honest conversations about the doubts, failures, and hard calls leaders face every day.Practical lessons, fresh mindsets, and validation that you’re not alone in the struggle.Occasional guests who will share their own unfiltered leadership truths.We’re not here to preach from a pedestal. We’re still learning, still screwing up, and still showing up, and we want to create a space where leaders at all levels can do the same. If you’ve ever felt like a fraud, second-guessed yourself, or carried the weight of decisions with no playbook, this show is for you. Our first full episode will dive into Imposter Syndrome (the quiet fear that you don’t belong and someone’s about to find out). Spoiler: we’ve both been there. Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen so you don’t miss an episode. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and more. And if this resonates with you, leave a review to help other leaders find the show. Because leading ain’t easy... but you don’t have to do it alone. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

10 min

Leading Ain't Easy

Episodes

Episode 11 - Managing Up: How to Lead Without Authority

Episode 10 - Coaching in Leadership (feat. Alicia Sanders)

Episode 9 - Leadership 101: What We Wish We Knew Before Leading Others

Episode 8 - Invisible Pressures of Middle Management

Episode 7 - Know Your Worth

Episode 6 - Fix Your Face: How Your "Tell" Can Make or Break Your Leadership

Episode 5 - The Cost of Being the Good Guy

Episode 4 - Leading As Yourself (w/ John Moore)

Episode 3 - Loneliness at the Top

Episode 2 - Leadership Beyond Titles

Episode 1 - Imposter Syndrome

Episode 0 - Welcome to Leading Ain’t Easy

Trailer

Episode 0 - Welcome to Leading Ain’t Easy

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