The Choose Yourself Channel

Hakeem Bourne Mcfarlane
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Self-Improvement

Hosted by Hakeem Bourne McFarlane, author of Choose Yourself to Be Chosen and founder of the Choose Yourself Community (CYC). Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel : where personal growth gets real, faith gets practical, and healing comes with humor. This isn't your average self-help talk. It’s the CYC-GYM - where we flex the dorsal cortex, roast our old habits, and build foundations stronger than our excuses through accountability and innercise. We talk discipline, desire, detoxing from dysfunction, and designing a life that actually feels good based on balance ... from cold showers to calling yourself out. One episode might sound like therapy, another like stand-up, and the next like church with better playlists and preachers. Here, we don’t fake peace for followers. We face our triggers, evaluate our environments, and invest in our evolution. Because choosing yourself isn’t just a slogan ... it’s the daily sport of self-respect! 🐬 Expect truth. Expect laughter. Expect to be uncomfortable - in the best way. Join the movement every Tuesday at 10 a.m. with the Choose Yourself Community on zoom to meet other self choosers virtually hosted by Hakeem. This is The Choose Yourself Channel. Raw. Relatable. Real as growth gets.

  1. 🇮🇪 Caleb McDonnell - From Rugby to Real Estate to Rice Bowls

    May 23

    🇮🇪 Caleb McDonnell - From Rugby to Real Estate to Rice Bowls

    You Are What You Consume - Food, Friends, Fear & Foundations Some people consume content all day and still wonder why they feel lost… others get curious, take action, and build an entirely different life from it. In this episode, we sit down with Caleb — “The Black Irish Realtor” — entrepreneur, food lover, athlete, realtor, and owner of Ideal Nutrition, for a hilarious and eye-opening conversation on identity, nutrition, business, culture, self-belief, and what it means to actually create a life instead of just consuming one. IG - @theblackirishrealtor From growing up mixed race in Ireland and struggling to fit in, to moving to America on a rugby scholarship with no blueprint, Caleb shares how curiosity, risk-taking, and staying authentic shaped his evolution. We dive into food quality differences between Europe and America, preservatives, health, entrepreneurship, and why most people are overcomplicating success instead of simply taking the next step. Between stories about selling perfume samples at school, working bars, selling cars, real estate, dogs taking over couches, and learning business from old Irish hustlers, this episode blends humor with real perspective on building resilience and multiple streams of income. This conversation is also a reminder that your environment matters. The people you surround yourself with, the food you consume, the content you watch, and the risks you’re willing to take all shape your future. Because choosing yourself isn’t just motivation—it’s learning how to create systems, routines, and opportunities that align with who you’re becoming. Takeaways ⬇️ Curiosity can become your career if you’re willing to act on itThe food we consume impacts far more than just weightYour environment either expands your thinking or limits itSimplicity and consistency beat overcomplicationTaking risks is necessary if you want a different lifeReal growth often starts when you leave your comfort zoneAt some point, we all have to decide… Are we going to keep consuming life passively or start creating something meaningful from what we’ve been given? Your story, your culture, your struggles, and your curiosity might be the exact ingredients needed to build your future. “Keep it simple. Start somewhere. Figure it out as you grow.” 🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    45 min
  2. 🧯 Joe Spector - Walking Through the Fire Without Becoming It

    May 14

    🧯 Joe Spector - Walking Through the Fire Without Becoming It

    Some people spend their whole life avoiding discomfort… others walk through the fire and learn how to become stronger because of it. In this episode, we sit down with Joe Spector - ex-firefighter, speaker, emotional resilience expert, husband, and father... for one of the deepest conversations yet on trauma, identity, grief, emotional regulation, and what it really means to choose yourself when life completely falls apart. From being a police officer and fire captain to losing his career after a traumatic brain injury, Joe opens up about the spiral that followed: financial stress, grief, loss, emotional shutdown, family tension, and ultimately reaching a breaking point that forced him to finally face himself. This episode dives into the dangerous illusion of “having it all together,” especially for men taught to suppress emotions instead of process them. We break down the parallels between firefighting and life itself - learning how to prepare for adversity, regulate your nervous system under pressure, and stop bleeding unhealed pain onto the people you love most. From breathwork and therapy to parenting, faith, and rebuilding identity after loss, this conversation is packed with wisdom, humor, truth, and practical perspective for anyone navigating hard seasons. Takeaways ⬇️ You can be successful on the outside and still be suffering internallyChoosing yourself is not selfish, it’s how you become dependable for othersEmotional regulation is a skill set, not a personality traitYour children don’t just need provision… they need presenceEverything you want in life is on the other side of your comfort zoneHealing starts when you stop avoiding what hurtsAt some point, life stops asking how productive you are… and starts asking how prepared you are internally when everything changes. Because adversity doesn’t build character out of nowhere, it reveals the foundation that was already there... and sometimes the strongest thing a person can do… is finally ask for help then back it up with acceptance and accountability. CONNECT WITH JOE “You can’t keep bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.” 🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Order THREE GRS 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    1h 4m
  3. 🍄 Thanecha - From the Projects to Purpose

    May 2

    🍄 Thanecha - From the Projects to Purpose

    Some people think choosing yourself is ego… but it’s actually returning to the version of you that existed before the world started programming you. In this episode, we sit down with Thanecha - creator, coach, and community builder whose story started in survival mode: homelessness, instability, and navigating life without a clear foundation... but what makes this conversation powerful isn’t just where she came from… it’s how she chose to rewrite what was possible. From overcoming a poverty mindset to stepping into creativity through music, fitness, and community, this episode breaks down what it really means to stay curious, stay open, and build your identity through experience instead of expectation. We dive into spirituality, inner child healing, relationships, and the power of setting boundaries because growth isn’t just about doing more… it’s about becoming someone who no longer tolerates what once held them back. Takeaways ⬇️ Your environment may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit youStaying curious is one of the most powerful tools for growthYou don’t need to know the full path—you need to take the next stepBoundaries are a sign of self-respect, not selfishnessHealing your inner child isn’t weakness—it’s responsibilityAt some point, we all reach a moment where we have to decide… Are we going to keep living from survival patterns or start creating from self-awareness? You’re not just your story… you’re what you choose to do with it. “You don’t need permission to become who you already are.” Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution 🏝️ CYC annual Retreat (Sedona, AZ) 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    1h 2m
  4. 🐬 Amrita Singh - You Can Love Your Culture and Still Outgrow It

    Apr 23

    🐬 Amrita Singh - You Can Love Your Culture and Still Outgrow It

    Everybody wants to break generational patterns but not everybody is willing to admit they’re still a part of them. In this episode, we sit down with Amrita, founder of Body by Mia and a powerful self-chooser from the CYC, who shares her journey of growing up between cultures, battling identity, body image, and expectations—and ultimately choosing herself. From being told who she had to be… to realizing she didn’t even know who she was… this conversation dives into what it really takes to break free from conditioning, face your triggers, and build a life aligned with your truth. From emotional eating to extreme self-restriction, from seeking validation to driving across the country alone.. Amrita shows what it looks like to stop performing and start becoming. But the real power is that she didn’t do it alone. Through the Choose Yourself Community (CYC), she found accountability, support, and a space where growth is expected not optional. A community where being triggered isn’t an attack… it’s an invitation to evolve. Takeaways ⬇️ You can’t break chains until you recognize what you’re connected toYour environment may shape you but it doesn’t have to define youHealing isn’t just physical: it’s mental, emotional, and spiritualThe courage to leave comes from having a plan and executing itCommunity creates belief when your self-belief is still catching upAt some point, you have to stop asking: “Who do they want me to be?” …and start deciding… “Who am I choosing to become?” Choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you become the example for everyone watching. “You don’t lose yourself overnight… you lose yourself in patterns... and you find yourself the same way.” Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    35 min
  5. ☕️ Angel - Create First. Doubt Never.

    Apr 6

    ☕️ Angel - Create First. Doubt Never.

    Some people wait for the perfect moment… others start building with whatever they have. In this episode, we sit down with Angel, owner of Benton Brew Coffee House, a creator, entrepreneur, and visionary who turned a 20-year dream into a real space for connection, creativity, and community. This conversation dives into what it actually looks like to choose yourself while still working a 9–5, balancing responsibilities, and investing into your vision daily. From selling magazines as a kid to creating studios, coffee lounges, and creative spaces, Angel shows that success isn’t about one big moment.. it’s about stacking checkpoints, discipline, and belief over time. We talk about the importance of routine, presence, and awareness, from something as simple as drinking water in the morning to being intentional with your time, your energy, and even how you eat because building your dream isn’t just about business… it’s about becoming someone who can sustain it. Takeaways ⬇️ Your dream doesn’t require you to quit everything, it requires you to use what you have wiselyThere isn’t always one “trigger point” ..growth is built through consistent checkpointsPresence is power! Whether in your work, your meals, or your relationshipsYour foundation (routines, discipline, awareness) determines your futureYou don’t need to know how you’ll get there but you must believe where you’re goingAt some point, you have to decide… Are you going to keep consuming life or start creating something from it? Your dream isn’t waiting on time… it’s waiting on you.

    28 min
  6. 🐬 Tree Kadasyso - Straight From The Roots with

    Apr 2

    🐬 Tree Kadasyso - Straight From The Roots with

    Some people go through trauma and stay stuck… others go through it and build something from it. In this episode, we sit down with Tree Kadayso - a powerful self-chooser, mother, and leader in the CYC who shares how her story of childhood trauma, abuse, and environmental challenges didn’t define her… it refined her. This conversation goes deep into what it really looks like to face your triggers, change your environment, and build a foundation strong enough to carry not just you but your family forward. From navigating generational patterns to raising kids with awareness, Tree shows that healing isn’t just personal… it’s legacy work. We talk about the moments where it would’ve been easier to fall back into old habits and how choosing yourself daily, through discipline and community, creates a completely different future.. because at the end of the day, your past may shape you but your choices define you. Takeaways ⬇️ Your trauma is real but it doesn’t get to run your life foreverAwareness is the first step but action is what changes everythingYour environment can either trap you or transform youThe foundation you build today impacts your entire family tomorrowChoosing yourself is how you break generational cyclesAt some point, we all have to make a decision… Are we going to keep living from what happened to us or start building from who we’re becoming? Our story isn’t our limitation… it’s our responsibility. “You’re not your past… you’re your patterns ... and your patterns can change with you next choice.” Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    1h 11m
  7. 🌲Get over it, Get after it (Tree Kadayso Preview)

    Apr 1

    🌲Get over it, Get after it (Tree Kadayso Preview)

    Choosing yourself through trauma, triggers, and transformation Nobody signs up for trauma… not you, not me, not your baby mama. But we all go through something. The real question is what are you doing with it? In this preview, we talk about how pain can either keep you stuck or push you into your next level. From childhood abuse to self-abuse (yeah… hitting snooze, sugar overload, late-night cravings .. we see you), this episode calls out the habits that keep us in the same loop because it’s not just what happened to you… it’s what you keep doing to yourself after. We introduce Tree Kadayso one of the strongest OG self-choosers I've ever encountered, whose story comes from real adversity - abuse, loss, traumatic childhood and a toxic environment where silence was normalized... but instead of staying in victim mode, she embraced the TEFIC process: triggers, environment, foundation, investment, and contribution and turned her pain into purpose! Your past might not be our fault… but our future is 100% your responsibility. So are you still sitting in the same story or are you ready to evolve? Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

    12 min
  8. ✍🏾 Joe Cubero - The Dating Playbook

    Mar 20

    ✍🏾 Joe Cubero - The Dating Playbook

    In this episode, we sit down with Joe Cubero (aka The Professional Ex) - author, creator, and relationship strategist who breaks down why so many people stay stuck in the same relationship cycles. This isn’t about blaming your ex… This is about becoming the version of you that stops creating them. We unpack the patterns, the ignored red flags, the lowered standards, and the identity you carry into every relationship whether you realize it or not. You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you tolerate. 🔥 What We Cover ✨ Why most people repeat the same relationship patterns ✨ The difference between choosing someone vs. needing someone ✨ Red flags we see but ignore ✨ How your lifestyle and habits shape your love life ✨ Why healing is required, not optional ✨ Becoming someone who walks away with self-respect Joe Cubero IG Order Joe's Book - The Dating Playbook Joe Cubero shares insights from his book, breaking down: The do’s, don’ts, and deal-breakers in modern datingHow to recognize unhealthy patterns earlyWhat it really means to choose yourself in relationships🌴 Live Event Announcement We’re bringing this conversation to life… 📍 April 25th | Florida Workshop Joe Cubero x Hakeem Bourne McFarlane A live experience focused on: Identity & self-worthRelationship standardsBuilding a foundation that attracts aligned partnershipsThis is more than a workshop… it’s a reset. 🐬 Choose Yourself Takeaway If you keep attracting the same person in different bodies… It’s not coincidence—it’s conditioning. Change your standards. Change your habits. Change your life. 🚀 Tap In 🎟️ Join the “CYC” for calendar details 📖 Grab Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Subscribe to the Choose Yourself Channel

    1h 1m
See All (42)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Hosted by Hakeem Bourne McFarlane, author of Choose Yourself to Be Chosen and founder of the Choose Yourself Community (CYC). Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel : where personal growth gets real, faith gets practical, and healing comes with humor. This isn't your average self-help talk. It’s the CYC-GYM - where we flex the dorsal cortex, roast our old habits, and build foundations stronger than our excuses through accountability and innercise. We talk discipline, desire, detoxing from dysfunction, and designing a life that actually feels good based on balance ... from cold showers to calling yourself out. One episode might sound like therapy, another like stand-up, and the next like church with better playlists and preachers. Here, we don’t fake peace for followers. We face our triggers, evaluate our environments, and invest in our evolution. Because choosing yourself isn’t just a slogan ... it’s the daily sport of self-respect! 🐬 Expect truth. Expect laughter. Expect to be uncomfortable - in the best way. Join the movement every Tuesday at 10 a.m. with the Choose Yourself Community on zoom to meet other self choosers virtually hosted by Hakeem. This is The Choose Yourself Channel. Raw. Relatable. Real as growth gets.

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