The Resilience Project

Julie Brumley
  • 5.0 (3)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it. The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.

  1. 23H AGO

    Overcoming the Burden: An Adoptee's Journey to Self-Love and Community

    In this heartfelt episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley sits down with Jennifer Skiles - an adoptee and author - to explore the deep roots of the "I am a burden" belief and how it shapes the lives of adoptees. They discuss becoming aware of this inner narrative, healing through community, faith, and self-compassion, and the transformative power of sharing stories. Key topics: The impact of early abandonment and societal messaging on adoptee self-perceptionHow writing a story and embracing vulnerability facilitated healingThe role of faith and spirituality in recovering identity and hopeRecognizing harmful patterns like people-pleasing and shrinking to avoid being a burdenThe importance of community, shared pain, and belonging in healingPractical steps: trying new approaches, setting boundaries, visiting inner children, and practicing self-compassionThe significance of safe spaces for adoptees to process their experiencesThe upcoming "You Are Not a Burden" online gatheringChapters:   02:01 - The deeply rooted belief "I am a burden" among adoptees  03:41 - Jennifer shares her story of reuniting with her biological father  05:57 - How writing her book helped Jennifer own her story and heal  07:27 - The emotional process of feeling heard for the first time  10:23 - How the burden belief influenced relationships and behaviors  12:18 - Experiences of abandonment and not feeling accepted  14:16 - Societal pressure and feeling lucky versus feeling loved  15:28 - The "life gap" and missing early childhood memories  17:39 - Adoption statistics and societal misconceptions  19:40 - The importance of community for adoptees’ healing  22:21 - The power of shared stories and recognition  23:50 - Supporting each other through vulnerability and connection  24:44 - The impact of the burden belief on relationships and fears of rejection  26:02 - Faith and spirituality as sources of stability and healing  29:14 - Visiting inner children to foster self-love  30:07 - The body’s role in processing trauma  32:46 - Dispel misconceptions and set healthy boundaries  34:18 - How trying something different can shift perspectives  36:54 - The necessity of self-compassion in healing journeys  38:24 - Recognizing what is meant to be left behind  41:19 - Celebrating loved ones and releasing grief creatively  43:47 - The upcoming online gathering "You Are Not a Burden"  44:30 - What to do if you feel hesitant about engaging  46:33 - The role of community versus doing it alone  47:58 - Building safe spaces for raw, authentic conversations  50:27 - The relief of being understood without explanation  52:02 - Encouragement to take the first step even with resistance  54:03 - Reshaping beliefs through new actions and perspectives  57:24 - The importance of belonging over independence  58:24 - Details on the free online event and ongoing connection opportunities Links - Jennifer Skiles' Book "Vault of Treasures" You Are Not a Burden - Online Gathering The Adoption Roadmap Podcast Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    53 min

  2. FEB 19

    You Are Not a Burden: The Hidden Identity Belief Many Adoptees Carry

    In this heartfelt episode, Julie Brumley shares her personal journey from feeling like a burden to embracing her healing. She discusses the transformative power of community, understanding body sensations, and shifting perspectives to foster belonging and self-compassion. Key Topics: The origin of the phrase "I am a burden" and its emotional impactHow sensations in the body reveal subconscious beliefsAnnouncing a free online event for adoptees exploring identity on March 3rdThe difference between knowing concepts and integrating them into healingThe importance of community in the healing processChallenging the victim mindset and reframing trauma as happening for usThe role of shame, attachment, nervous system work, and spiritual practices in healingBelonging versus independence as the opposite of burdenInvitation to join a live event in Moscow, Idaho, in May with Dr. Liz DeBettaEncouragement for adoptees to find hope, healing, and communityTimestamps: 00:00 - Introduction: The journey from feeling like a burden to healing  00:30 - The moment of vulnerability sharing the phrase "I am a burden"  01:08 - How bodily sensations like stomach tightening and shoulder dropping signify shame  02:12 - Announcing a free online gathering for adoptees on March 3rd  03:00 - The value of community in healing and shared experience  03:46 - Misconceptions about needing to be fixed and dismantling the burden belief  04:21 - The emotional impact of systemic wounds and self-worth issues  05:03 - Reframing trauma as happening for us rather than against us  06:01 - The costs of staying stuck in the burden belief within relationships and self-investment  07:04 - Personal story of investing in somatic coaching and overcoming fear  08:04 - The importance of body language and somatic awareness over solely intellectual understanding  09:12 - Differentiating knowledge from integration in healing processes  10:02 - The comprehensive blueprint of healing including mindset, emotion, attachment, and spiritual work  11:00 - The role of community in dismantling limiting beliefs and fostering belonging  11:39 - Opposite of burden is belonging, not independence  12:18 - Recognizing the edge of expansion when resistance arises  12:42 - Invitation details for the March 3rd event and encouragement to reach out  13:14 - Announcing the in-person event in Moscow, Idaho, in May  14:18 - Closing thoughts on hope, healing, and community support Resources & Links: You Are Not a Burden - Live Online EventDr. Liz DiBetta EpisodeMoscow, Idaho Retreat - Event DetailsFeel free to DM Julie with questions or feedback. Remember, healing is a journey, and community makes all the difference. Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    15 min

  3. FEB 12

    Surrender Over Control: The Missing Piece in Adoptee Healing

    Discover how surrender, rather than control, can transform the adoptee’s healing journey. In this episode, Julie explores the deep psychological and somatic stages of adoptee awareness and how embracing surrender leads to genuine self-belonging. In this episode: The misconception that mastery and control are the core issues for adopteesHow early trauma impacts our response to loss and controlThe adoptee consciousness model: five pivotal stages of awarenessKey somatic cues associated with each stageThe importance of surrender as a radical act of self-trust and agencyPractical prompts for identifying your current stage and practicing surrenderResources for deeper healing and connection in the adoptee communityChapters:  00:00 - Introduction to the core issue: surrender over control in adoptee healing 00:31 - Why mastery and control are misconceptions—what's really happening underneath 01:01 - The impact of early loss and trauma on control responses  02:01 - How survival strategies turn into ways of living for adoptees 02:25 - Brene Brown’s concept of wholehearted living rooted in gratitude and spirituality 03:19 - The role of surrender and trust in healing from trauma 04:09 - The adoptee consciousness model overview and its cyclical nature 06:42 - The five touchstones of awareness: from status quo to transcendence 07:25 - Stage 1: Sleep — acceptance of the dominant narrative without questioning 09:09 - Stage 2: The rupture — disorienting insights that challenge the status quo 11:14 - Stage 3: Dissonance — emotional unrest, conflicting beliefs, and emerging identities 13:23 - Stage 4: Expansiveness — integrating truths, setting boundaries, and defining your narrative 14:34 - Stage 5: Forgiveness and activism — surrender as a radical act of agency 16:33 - Reflection prompts: identifying your current touchstone and practicing surrender 17:36 - Physical practices for releasing control and cultivating self-compassion 19:03 - Resources on adoptee awareness models and healing pathways 19:52 - Upcoming event: Unmothered - a revolution in adoptee healing 20:05 - Closing thoughts and encouragement for your healing journey Resources & Links: Out of the Fog into ConsciousnessUnmothered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing — May 23-24, Moscow, IdahoAdoptee Consciousness Slides I presentedSkeletons in the closet episodeWebsite Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    19 min

  4. FEB 5

    Intimacy and Adoption: Why Love Feels Complicated

    Slides that I shared - https://drive.google.com/file/d/13QWm6K6AIEwWYVNtO-ZNHTwB7WPscNlT/view?usp=sharing Summary In this episode of the Resilience Project Podcast, Julie explores the complexities of love, intimacy, and interdependence, particularly in the context of adoption. She discusses how early experiences shape our ability to connect with others and emphasizes the importance of self-love and understanding our internal family systems. Through practical insights and personal anecdotes, Julie encourages listeners to reflect on their relationships and take actionable steps towards healthier connections. Takeaways We don't have to do anything to be loved.Intimacy becomes complicated due to early experiences.Adoption can be viewed as adapt-tion.Interdependence is essential for healthy relationships.Co-dependence involves regulating our nervous systems through others.Self-trust is crucial for personal growth.Small shifts can lead to significant changes in relationships.Understanding our inner critics helps in healing.Self-love is foundational for intimacy.Your personal story is valuable and deserves to be shared.Sound bites "Intimacy becomes complicated." "Adoption should be called adapt-tion." "Your story and your truth matter." Chapters 00:00 The Foundation of Love and Fear 04:11 Understanding Intimacy and Adoption 06:48 The Journey to Interdependence 09:26 Navigating Co-dependence and Independence 12:12 Exploring Internal Family Systems 15:00 Developing Self-Love and Connection Keywords love, intimacy, interdependence, self-trust, adoption, healing, emotional health, relationships, personal growth, internal family systems Saboteur Assessment  https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/instructions Self-Trust episode link  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2549404/episodes/18294247  Register for May Retreat!!!  https://www.lizdebetta.com/un-m-othered-adoptee-healing-retreat Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    18 min

  5. JAN 29

    Un-M-Othered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing

    Summary  In this episode of the Resilience Project podcast, host Julie Brumley welcomes Dr. Liz DeBetta, an adoptee and creator of the award-winning performance 'Un-M-Othered.' The conversation centers around the upcoming retreat, 'Un-M-Othered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing,' designed specifically for adoptees. Julie and Liz discuss the importance of community in healing, emphasizing that true healing goes beyond traditional talk therapy and requires a deeper, embodied approach. They highlight how the retreat will provide a safe space for adoptees to explore their stories, reclaim their voices, and connect with others who share similar experiences of adoption trauma.  Dr. Liz shares her personal journey of using writing and performance as tools for healing, explaining how 'Un-M-Othered' emerged from her own experiences and research into adoption trauma. The retreat aims to create a transformative experience that integrates somatic practices with narrative healing, allowing participants to feel seen, heard, and understood. Both Julie and Liz express their excitement about the retreat and the potential for profound healing and connection among adoptees, encouraging listeners to join them in this unique opportunity.  Keywords  adoptee healing, Unmothered, Dr. Liz DeBetta, narrative therapy, somatic healing, community support, adoption trauma, resilience project, embodied healing, retreat  Takeaways  Healing doesn't just live in the places that didn't have language yet. Adoptee healing requires community and immersive experiences. The retreat is about returning to what's already within you. Sound bites  "This isn't just surface level healing."  "It's the first time that I feel seen, heard and understood."  "Feel the fear and do it anyway."  Chapters  00:00 Introduction to the Resilience Project Podcast  03:13 Meet Dr. Liz DeBetta: The Creator of Unmothered  05:01 Introducing Unmothered: A Revolution in Adoptive Healing  06:36 The Importance of Community in Healing  07:29 The Birth of Unmothered: A Personal Journey  10:36 The Power of Shared Experiences  14:33 The Need for Embodied Healing  18:27 Listening to Our Bodies: A Path to Healing  22:22 Creating a Healing Arc for Adoptees  26:22 Integrating Story and Body for Wholeness  29:45 Why This Healing Approach is Needed Now  33:18 Purpose and Timing in Healing  34:22 Collaboration and Community  36:09 The Social Change Ecosystem  37:59 Navigating Personal Trauma  39:52 Creating Safe Spaces for Healing  43:47 The Importance of Community in Healing  45:52 Who the Retreat is For  49:16 Addressing Fears and Resistance  53:32 Final Thoughts on Healing and Community Learn more and register for the retreat here -  https://www.lizdebetta.com/un-m-othered-adoptee-healing-retreat Connect with Dr. Liz here - https://www.lizdebetta.com Purchase Dr. Liz's book here - https://www.amazon.com/-/he/Liz-DeBetta/dp/9004681698 Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    57 min

  6. JAN 22

    Adoption From Both Sides: A Conversation With My Adoptive Mom (Love, identity, and the lifelong impact of adoption)

    Summary In this heartfelt episode of The Resilience Project, host Julie Brumley engages in a candid conversation with her mother, Karen, about their experiences with adoption. Julie expresses her gratitude for her mother's unwavering support and love throughout her life, emphasizing the importance of understanding the complexities of adoption from both the adoptee's and adoptive parent's perspectives. Karen shares her journey of becoming a mother through adoption, her initial feelings, and the evolution of her understanding of what it means to raise an adopted child. The discussion delves into the emotional nuances of adoption, including the fears and joys that come with it, and the significance of open communication in their relationship. As they reflect on their shared experiences, Karen reveals her initial apprehensions about Julie's work with adoptees, but ultimately expresses pride in her daughter's commitment to advocating for the adoption community. The episode highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of understanding the impact of adoption on both sides of the equation. Through their dialogue, Julie and Karen demonstrate the power of vulnerability and connection in navigating the complexities of family dynamics and identity. Keywords adoption, mother-daughter relationship, resilience, adoptee experience, family dynamics, emotional journey, open communication, understanding adoption, love and acceptance Takeaways "I feel like we've stolen something precious because we weren't planning on taking you home." "You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one." "You have to work through it, learn, in sessions like you provide." Sound bites "You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one." "They would be led by love and follow with action." Chapters 00:00 Introduction: A Special Guest 01:45 Karen's Perspective on Motherhood 05:42 The Decision to Adopt 08:39 First Impressions: Meeting Julie 15:37 Understanding Adoption: Theories and Realities 18:33 Navigating Emotions: Protecting and Supporting Julie 22:31 The Importance of Feeling Adored 26:24 Connecting with Birth Family: A Journey of Discovery 27:50 Meeting the Birth Family 29:56 Evolving Perspectives on Adoption 34:24 Misunderstandings About Adoption 35:50 The Unspoken Fears of Adoptive Parents 39:03 Watching the Work with Adoptees 42:30 The Importance of Dialogue in Relationships 44:31 Raising an Adopted Child: Key Insights 47:39 Loving Beyond Biology Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    52 min

  7. JAN 15

    When Rejection Becomes a Story We Live By (And How We Heal It)

    Summary In this conversation, Julie Brumley explores the core issues faced by adoptees, particularly focusing on rejection and its profound impact on identity and emotional health. She discusses the emotional imprints of rejection, the concept of rejection sensitivity, and provides practical exercises for processing and reframing limiting beliefs. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and emotional regulation in overcoming the challenges associated with adoption. Takeaways Adoptees wrestle with core issues like identity, loss, rejection, shame, guilt, and grief.Rejection is a powerful experience that occurs pre-verbally for adoptees.Emotional imprints of rejection shape how adoptees anticipate and guard against it.Fear of rejection can lead to self-sabotage and misreading situations.Identifying and reframing limiting beliefs is crucial for healing.Sensitivity in adoptees may be linked to rejection sensitivity dysphoria and ADHD.Emotional regulation is essential for dealing with rejection.Practical exercises can help process negative messages from childhood.Transforming limiting beliefs into positive affirmations is a key step in healing.Support and resources are available for those navigating these challenges.Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Core Issues in Adoption 02:43 Understanding Rejection in Adoption 06:02 Rejection Sensitivity and Emotional Dysregulation 09:55 Identifying and Reframing Limiting Beliefs 15:15 Practical Exercise for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs 22:17 Conclusion and Resources for Support Keywords adoption, rejection, emotional health, limiting beliefs, identity, adoptees, self-acceptance, emotional regulation, trauma, personal growth Shame and Guilt episode link - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2549404/episodes/18222388 Processing Emotions Exercise -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/btaYBmJo/checkout PDF of Slides from Video -  https://drive.google.com/file/d/15eR4Pv-pElupM9chwgU8ezSrNXH-G1SS/view?usp=sharing Perspective Shift Exercise -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/DA8Me58N/checkout Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    24 min

  8. JAN 8

    From Survival to Self: The Work That Keeps Working

    As we move into a new year, this episode feels especially meaningful. In today’s conversation, I’m sharing a powerful episode recorded with my longtime friend and fellow coach, Becky, from about a year ago - during a season when both of us were deeply immersed in our own journeys of identity, healing, and self-discovery. At the time, neither of us could have fully known how much would continue to unfold in the months ahead. And yet, listening back now, I’m struck by how relevant and grounding this conversation still is - especially as we reflect on what it means to truly come home to ourselves. Together, we explore: what identity really means beyond labels and roleshow trauma responses can quietly shape who we believe we arethe difference between ego, intuition, and survival energywhy somatic work is essential for creating safety in the bodyhow shame loses its power through compassion and connectionand what it looks like to reclaim belonging from withinWe also talk openly about the early stages of my own healing journey—when I couldn’t answer the question “Who am I?” without collapsing into shame—and the gradual, gentle process of learning to trust my body, my intuition, and myself again. This episode isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about honoring the small, consistent shifts that create lasting transformation over time. If you’re entering this new year feeling uncertain, tender, or quietly hopeful… If you’re learning to listen to yourself instead of pushing through… If you’re beginning—or continuing—the journey of coming home to who you really are… this conversation is for you. ✨ Key Themes Identity as an evolving, embodied experienceThe role of somatic healing in self-discoveryShame, self-compassion, and parts workEgo vs. intuition and learning to trust inner wisdomHealing as a process of integration, not perfectionChapters 00:00 Introduction to Breakthroughs 02:40 The Power of Connection and Friendship 05:25 Understanding Identity 10:51 The Journey of Self-Discovery 16:28 Practical Steps to Embrace Intuition 22:07 Transforming Triggers into Triumphs 27:37 The Role of Somatic Work in Healing 33:24 Creating a Community for Adoptees 38:53 Conclusion and Call to Action Keywords breakthrough, identity, self-discovery, somatic work, intuition, trauma, healing, friendship, community, empowerment Get the Ego vs Intuition Slide Deck here -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/oLhNBhLZ/checkout Connect with Becky here - https://www.instagram.com/becky_aste/ Website Instagram: @juliebrumley_ Facebook: julierasbrum TikTok: @juliebrumley_ Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group You Tube: @julie_brumley

    40 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it. The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Brumley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Resilience Project
  • Show Website
    The Resilience Project