The Welcome Distraction with The Kemp Brothers

The Welcome Distraction Podcast
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Daily

Identical Twins, Brett and Christopher, with Younger Bro, Nicholas discussing everything: growing up, goofing off, military lives, & plenty of relatable conversations for all ages. You'll take away something with a smile, a laugh, & it may just raise your eyebrows a little too. We're providing questionable advice with crazy stories, hot takes, nostalgia, current trends, dark humor, & laughing through everything! We've been there, done that, & probably laughed till we cried about it. Life is too short to take it so seriously so come along with us on this journey & let's joke about it together.

  1. 17h ago

    Celebrate Our 50th Episode With Us Ep. 50 - Looking Back at the Ride So Far

    The Kemp Brothers have somehow made it to 50 episodes of The Welcome Distraction—despite time zones, editing headaches, questionable stories that probably should have stayed off-mic, and the ongoing mystery of whose internet connection is actively plotting against the show. In this milestone episode, the brothers look back at the ride so far: the episodes that landed, the recordings that nearly escaped into the void, the behind-the-scenes chaos, and the moments that reminded them why they started doing this in the first place. There are funny stories, honest reflections, a little vulnerability, and just enough self-congratulation to acknowledge that producing 50 episodes requires either dedication or a complete inability to quit. They talk about how the show has grown, how content creation gets less terrifying once you stop obsessing over every edit, and how personal stories somehow connect better than pretending everyone has life figured out. Most importantly, they celebrate the listeners who have hung out with them from across the country—and, somehow, across 50 countries. Apparently, the international community has decided the Kemp Brothers are everyone’s distraction now. So grab a drink, settle in, and help celebrate Episode 50. It’s a thank-you to the listeners, a look behind the curtain, and a slightly premature brainstorming session for what Episode 100 might look like—assuming the brothers don’t accidentally delete the podcast before then.Chapters00:00 Introduction and celebration of 50 episodes01:37 Looking back on the journey and memorable moments03:12 Expectations and surprises in podcasting04:12 Content creation challenges and successes09:34 Favorite episodes and memorable recordings13:35 Stories they wish they recorded19:53 Audience impact and international reach23:17 Future plans and episode 100 vision

  2. Sep 7

    How Did We Survive Childhood? Ep. 49 - Ceiling Fans to the Head, Go-Kart Crashes & "Tag" Football

    How did the Kemp Brothers survive childhood? Apparently, with a little luck, questionable supervision, and a complete disregard for personal safety. In this episode of The Welcome Distraction, Brett, Christopher, and Nicholas take a painful trip down memory lane, revisiting the childhood injuries that probably should have come with warning labels. From Christopher catching a ceiling fan with his head to a bolt going through his shin and leaving a hole in the bone, the stories only get worse from there. The brothers relive kitchen-floor concussions, go-kart crashes, broken fences, rocks to the forehead, and pool mishaps that turned a fun afternoon into a potential emergency room visit. Brett recalls having his tooth sliced in half after colliding with Nicholas in the pool, while Nicholas shares the story of being shaken out of a tree and breaking his foot. And somehow, trampolines, rooftops, and questionable childhood stunts were considered perfectly normal entertainment. Along the way, the brothers debate whether kids today are safer or whether their generation was simply too stubborn to admit they were hurt. They also revisit the questionable medical decisions, ignored advice, and “walk it off” mentality that defined growing up before everyone had a smartphone and a safety plan. It’s a nostalgic, hilarious, and occasionally horrifying look at childhood, brotherhood, and the injuries that somehow became family legends. Good Times. Great Vibes. Welcome Distractions. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Surviving Childhood Injuries 00:37 Childhood Injuries 01:22 The Fan Blade to the Head Incident 04:02 Bike Accidents and Unsupervised Childhood 06:14 Slipping in the Kitchen and Head Injuries 08:00 Childhood Collateral Damage 09:39 The Go-Kart Crash and Broken Fences 12:21 Ignoring Medical Advice and Self-Treatment 14:22 Trampolines, Roofs, and Dangerous Stunts 23:24 Pool Mishaps and Jumping into the Deep End 27:35 Survivor's Reflection: Childhood Injuries and Lessons Learned Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: B8RAZ677PKWXXCVL

  3. Aug 31

    ARE WE SCREWED? 🤖💀 - Humanity, AI & The Absolute Dumpster Fire We Call Modern Life – Ep 48 #podcast

    Humanity landed on the moon. We invented the internet. We created smartphones, AI, and enough technology to basically solve half our problems. So naturally… we use it to watch people fall down, argue with strangers, and ask AI to write breakup texts. In Episode 48 of The Welcome Distraction Podcast with The Kemp Brothers, Brett, Christopher, and Nicholas dive headfirst into one of civilization’s most important questions: ARE. WE. SCREWED? From artificial intelligence and social media to technology, modern culture, human stupidity, and our questionable future, the brothers attempt to figure out whether humanity is actually progressing—or just becoming more technologically advanced idiots. Is AI going to save us… or eventually realize humans are the problem? Are smartphones making us smarter, or have we simply created expensive rectangles that destroy our attention spans? And if humanity has survived this long, is that proof we're intelligent… or just incredibly lucky? Expect hot takes, ridiculous observations, sarcastic commentary, and the kind of brotherly debate that probably shouldn't be allowed without adult supervision. Because apparently, giving three brothers microphones and opinions was a good idea. 👉 Watch Episode 48: ARE WE SCREWED? and decide for yourself whether humanity has a future… or if we're all just waiting for the Wi-Fi to go down. #WelcomeDistraction #TheKempBrothers #AreWeScrewed #ComedyPodcast #FunnyPodcast #AIPodcast #ArtificialIntelligence #Technology #Humanity #SocialMedia #FutureOfHumanity #ModernLife #Podcast #PodcastComedy #ai Chapters: 00:00 Are We Screwed? 01:29 Social Media: Connecting or Isolating? 03:42 What's The Dumbest Things You've Watched 05:39 More Connected or More Isolated? 06:27 What about Smartphones? 07:57 Phones on the Thrones 09:29 Is My Phone A Support Device? 10:24 What the Hell is "Kitten-Fishing"? 11:07 AI is Going to Kill Us All! 16:57 The Internet is Everywhere! (Thanks Al Gore) Google it :) 17:27 Deep Fakes 18:25 Game Called Internet Court (Guilty or Not) 22:27 So, How Screwed Are We?? 24:32 War Games Movie Clip 25:36 We're Gonna Be Alright 26:25 The Big Wrap Up Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: DLNMAROVLWYM0HFA

  4. Aug 24

    The Most Absurd Laws in America - Ep. 47 Moose in Planes, Wrestling Bears, and Bouncing Pickles

    This week, The Welcome Distraction enters the legal system’s weird little basement—the part nobody talks about until someone tries to kick a moose out of a plane, wrestle a bear, or sell a pickle with the structural integrity of a wet sock. The Kemp Brothers dig into some of America’s most gloriously absurd laws: Connecticut’s famous “bouncing pickle” standard, Florida’s apparent concern that elephants might skip out on parking-meter fees, Nevada’s camel-related highway drama, and Arizona’s very serious warning that a Saguaro cactus is not yard décor you can casually relocate after three light beers. Then there’s Alaska, where lawmakers apparently had to spell out that pushing a moose out of an airplane is prohibited. Which raises several important questions: Who was loading the moose? Was there a boarding pass? Did the moose choose an aisle seat? And, perhaps most importantly, what exactly happened that made this law necessary? Along the way, the guys explore the blurry line between real statutes, regional legends, and the kind of story that starts with, “My cousin’s friend got a ticket for…” Sasquatch receives legal consideration in some places, bear wrestling used to be entertainment for people who clearly did not value having an intact face, and certain laws exist because humanity has repeatedly demonstrated that common sense is more of a suggestion than a rule. Behind every bizarre regulation is usually a strange moment in history—a shady pickle salesman, an overconfident animal handler, an overly enthusiastic tourist, or a local official who finally said, “Fine. We’re writing it down.” The result is a legal landscape that is occasionally practical, frequently puzzling, and always ready to ruin someone’s extremely specific weekend plans. So buckle up, check your local ordinances, leave the wildlife alone, and please—on behalf of lawmakers everywhere—do not attempt to transport large woodland animals by air. It’s Episode 47 of The Welcome Distraction: where the laws are weird, the questions are questionable, and the common sense is currently under review. 00:00 Absurd Laws in America 02:41 The Bouncing Pickle Law 03:14 Parking Meters for Elephants 07:41 Camel Laws in Nevada 09:56 Protecting the Saguaro Cactus 10:33 Sasquatch Laws: Protecting the Myth 12:31 Bear Wrestling: A Dangerous Attraction 12:32 Pushing Moose Out of Airplanes 15:07 Bizarre Laws: Bathtubs and Town Greens 17:11 Urban Myths: Laws That Never Were 19:36 Final Thoughts: Know Your Local Laws

  5. Aug 17

    Most Overrated Things in America - Ep. 46 Disney, Starbucks, The Beach, Weddings and More!

    America loves hype—and apparently, we’re willing to pay way too much for it.In this episode of The Welcome Distraction, the Kemp Brothers take aim at some of America’s most overrated experiences, traditions, and trends. From dropping a small fortune at amusement parks just to spend half the day standing in line, to paying premium prices for Starbucks, they ask the question we’ve all thought at some point: “This is it?”The brothers break down the pressure of New Year’s Eve, when everyone is expected to have the greatest night of their life simply because the calendar changed. Then they tackle gender reveal parties that have somehow evolved from cutting into a cake to full-blown productions involving explosions, smoke cannons, and questionable decision-making.They also get into extravagant weddings, the supposedly magical beach experience, and the social media pressure that convinces us everything needs to be bigger, better, and Instagram-worthy.Then it’s time for Rapid Fire: Overrated or Not? Pumpkin spice, craft beer, cruises, fireworks, Valentine’s Day, fantasy football, Costco, matching family pajamas and more get thrown into the hot seat—and the brothers definitely don’t agree on everything.Are these things actually worth the hype, or have we all just agreed to pretend they are?Grab a drink, lower your expectations, and join The Kemp Brothers as they call out some of the most overhyped things in America—one questionable tradition at a time.Chapters:00:00 Introduction: America’s Sacred Cows and Overrated Things02:20 Waiting in Line: The Longest Waits for Rides04:24 Disneyland vs Disney World: Size and Cost Differencess08:35 Are Disney and Amusement Parks Overrated?08:59 Starbucks: Overpriced and Overhyped?11:02 Starbucks Trendiness and Cost12:00 Ordering Starbucks: A Challenge?12:52 New Year's Eve: Overhyped or Worth the Hype?14:06 Epic New Year's Eve Adventures17:49 Gender Reveal Parties: Going Too Far?22:29 Weddings: Are They Worth the Cost?23:54 The Beach: Overrated or Just Different?25:34 Rapid Fire: Overrated or Not - Pumpkin Spice, Craft Beer, and More 28:50 Final Thoughts: America’s Overhyped CultureMusic licensed through Soundstripe.Code: SF2T4NW7MAMHUHFM

  6. Aug 10

    We're Right. You're Wrong. Shut Up. Ep. 45 - Hot Takes, Unpopular Opinions, Pick a side and Enjoy!

    Everybody has opinions. Some are controversial, some are unpopular, and some are just stupid enough to get you uninvited from dinner.In this episode of The Welcome Distraction, the Kemp Brothers tackle the everyday opinions nobody asked for—but everybody has. Does pineapple belong on pizza? Is bacon overrated? How should a steak actually be cooked? And can we finally admit that birthday singing is awkward for everyone involved?Then things get personal as the brothers dive into relationships and marriage. Are separate bathrooms the secret to happiness? Does “nothing’s wrong” ever actually mean nothing’s wrong? And sometimes, isn’t the perfect date night just sitting together in complete silence?The brothers also take shots at golf, ridiculous coffee culture, awkward networking events, public speakerphone users, people who refuse to return shopping carts, and other everyday annoyances.Grab a drink, pick a side, and join The Kemp Brothers for unpopular opinions, questionable logic, and plenty of Welcome Distractions.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Controversial Opinions02:00 Food Opinions That Get You Uninvited05:00 Social Rules We Should Stop Pretending9:57 Relationships and Marriage Opinions13:14 Navigating Relationships and Communication15:41 The Truth About Golf: Love It or Hate It19:18 Coffee Culture: Are We Pretending to Like It?21:39 The Networking Dilemma: Necessary Evil or Awkward Encounter?Music licensed through Soundstripe.Code: XJS7T21UDIFZYJWP

  7. Aug 3

    Our Funniest Moments So Far - Wrong Numbers, Dad Bathroom Blowouts and Farts that Defy Physics Ep. 44

    This episode of The Welcome Distraction with the Kemp Brothers is a greatest-hits reel of the funniest, most chaotic moments from the show so far. Built from their best clips, it feels like a fast-moving mix of family legends, bodily disasters, and life experiences that sound too wild to be true. It opens at home with a story that instantly turns Dad into both the hero and the warning label of the episode. The brothers revisit the time he burst in to discipline the kids while missing some key clothing, turning what should have been a serious moment into pure comedy. From there, the episode gets even louder with a fart story so over-the-top it seems to break the laws of physics. The buildup, the explosion, and the stunned silence afterward make it one of the most replayable moments in the episode. Sleep does not bring peace either. A dream about a snake attack becomes a full comedy bit as the brothers describe the panic of fighting off an imaginary reptile in the middle of the night. It is part horror story, part family anecdote, and entirely ridiculous. One of the biggest highlights is the hardware store disaster, where Dad suffers a full-blown diarrhea emergency in public. The brothers break down the panic, the timing, and the aftermath in a way that is horrifying and hilarious at the same time. The episode also includes a story involving a drinking fountain being used for something it was never meant to handle, creating one of those cringe-worthy public moments that is impossible not to laugh at despite yourself. Kidney stones enter the conversation next, but even real pain becomes comedy in the brothers’ hands. They lean into the absurdity of the timing, the reactions, and the noises no one wants on record. To close things out, the brothers read and riff on dramatic Amazon reviews that are far too intense for the products being discussed. Their commentary turns each review into a mini bit, full of callbacks, exaggeration, and quick jokes. What holds the whole episode together is the brothers’ chemistry and their willingness to go all in on every story. They treat each moment like a treasured family artifact from the museum of chaos, mixing ridicule with affection in a way that makes the jokes land even harder. If you have ever dealt with an embarrassing parent moment, a body betrayal, a nightmare that felt real, or an absurd online review, this episode will hit the sweet spot. It is messy, funny, and exactly the kind of welcome distraction the title promises.

  8. Jul 27

    Unhinged Hilarious Product Reviews Ep. 43 From $40K TVs to Death Gummy Bears these reviews are fire!

    Think you've seen it all on Amazon? Think again. This week, The Kemp Brothers take a hilarious dive into the internet's greatest accidental comedy club—the Amazon review section. From magical Three Wolf Moon T-shirts and the infamous Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears to thousand-dollar HDMI cables, awkward wall decals, and products that should've come with a therapist instead of instructions, nothing is safe. We read the reviews, question humanity, and laugh way harder than we probably should. If you've ever fallen down an Amazon rabbit hole at 2 a.m., this episode is for you. Grab a drink, buckle up, and prepare for a Welcome Distraction filled with laughs, chaos, and absolutely ridiculous customer reviews.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to the funniest Amazon reviews00:21 Diving into the chaos of Amazon customer feedback01:24 The wall monkey's senior woman with asthma decal02:00 The absurdly expensive HDMI cable05:39 The bizarre Playmobil security checkpoint toy07:51 The magical three wolf moon T-shirt09:12 The hilarious hair removal gel mishap12:09 The $40,000 Samsung TV and its reviews15:12 The legendary Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears reviewsMusic licensed through Soundstripe.Code: P6EH7UYJYOQBWBNM

See All (51)

About

Identical Twins, Brett and Christopher, with Younger Bro, Nicholas discussing everything: growing up, goofing off, military lives, & plenty of relatable conversations for all ages. You'll take away something with a smile, a laugh, & it may just raise your eyebrows a little too. We're providing questionable advice with crazy stories, hot takes, nostalgia, current trends, dark humor, & laughing through everything! We've been there, done that, & probably laughed till we cried about it. Life is too short to take it so seriously so come along with us on this journey & let's joke about it together.

Information