If you’ve ever begged, bargained, or sweetened the deal at the table, you are not alone! It likely came from a genuine desire to help your child eat well but may not be accomplishing what you think. In this episode, we explore how some well-intentioned strategies can accidentally work against the very goals you’re trying to support. It’s everywhere in our culture: language such as “just one more bite,” “eat this and you can have that,” sneaking foods into sauces, or swapping foods without kids knowing. While these strategies can feel harmless (and sometimes work in the moment), they can quietly chip away at something really important: trust. Kids do best with food when mealtimes feel predictable, safe, and supportive. When a child expects one thing and gets another, or realizes they were “tricked,” it can make them more cautious, suspicious, and less willing to explore new foods over time. We also dig into “hidden foods” and sneaking ingredients. Cooking with vegetables is great, but doing it with the goal of hiding foods from your child is different. When kids only experience certain foods blended, masked, or disguised, they miss the chance to learn about those foods on their own terms. And if they discover something was hidden that they didn’t like, it can feel unsettling and undermine trust. It’s helpful to check in with yourself: am I cooking this way because it aligns with my values and tastes, or because I’m trying to get something into my child without them knowing? The goal here is to give kids a solid, honest foundation so they can explore food with curiosity instead of pressure. We also talk about bribery, rewards, and praise and how they often work in the short term but can backfire in the long run. When kids are asked to eat “in order to” get something else, their attention shifts away from the food itself and toward the reward. Over time, this can lower their interest in the food and increase focus on the prize. It can also drown out a child’s ability to listen to their own body cues, which is a skill we want to protect and strengthen in childhood, and into the future. Eating a specific food is not an emergency. Kids don’t need broccoli (for example) in the same way they need medicine or safety, and taking the urgency out of mealtime helps support self-regulation and bodily autonomy. Finally, we unpack praise. Praise isn’t bad! It can become pressure if it’s manipulative, over-the-top, or tied to amounts eaten or foods “achieved.” Kids are incredibly perceptive and can sense when praise has an agenda. Instead, praise tends to be most helpful when it’s sincere, specific, brief, and focused on effort rather than outcome, just like with other skills kids learn. When we rely too heavily on external motivators, we risk crowding out a child’s internal motivation and the positive experiences around food we’re trying to build. While these shifts may make feeding experiences and expansion feel slower, we're preserving the idea that it’s about raising eaters for life! ** Please remember this podcast is NOT meant to replace the support and guidance of your child's medical team. Consult with your doctor before starting the weaning process.** Don’t forget to follow us on social media for more helpful information @Thrivewithspectrum on Instagram and Thrive by Spectrum Pediatrics on Facebook. You can also find out more information about the programs we offer at www.thrivewithspectrum.com
