Notes From The Not There Yet

Bethany Wright
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Notes from the Not There Yet is the podcast for anyone navigating life’s messy middle - not lost, not arrived, just not there yet. Hosted by Bethany Wright, founder of The Not There Yet Project, this show brings you honest conversations, unpolished stories, and practical tools for finding meaning, belonging, and growth in your 30s, 40s, and beyond. Each episode dives into the real journeys of creatives, solopreneurs, leaders and seekers from Manchester, across the UK, and globally - people balancing work and wellbeing, chasing joy, and rewriting success on their own terms. From overcoming imposter syndrome and anxiety, to rebuilding after loss, pivoting careers, or launching side hustles, our guests share the truths behind their transitions and the courage it takes to keep going. Expect raw reflections, resilient voices, and relatable insights on purpose, identity, business, self-development, and wellbeing. Whether you’re sat in a Manchester café, commuting through London, or tuning in from anywhere in the world, this podcast is your reminder that you don’t need to have it all figured out to create a life that feels real. Because growth lives here - in the in-between. Life transitions, 30s podcast, 40s podcast, Manchester voices, UK podcast, imposter syndrome, side hustles, purpose, resilience, creativity, self-development, entrepreneurship, belonging, messy middle, personal growth podcast, health & fitness.

  1. 2h ago

    "Too Much, Never Enough": Plum Ruffles on Neurodivergent Motherhood and Finally Finding the Words

    Episode Description Plum Ruffles spent most of her life being told, one way or another, that she was too loud, too emotional, too opinionated and somehow, at the same time, not enough. Diagnosed with ADHD at 41, after two children, a lifetime of masking and a family that's neurodivergent from top to bottom, she's now the founder of Not Too Much, a community that's grown from one honest Christmas Day Instagram post to nearly 30,000 followers in months. Plum grew up in Kuwait, including through the Gulf War at age eight, before moving to the UK at 13 into a schooling system and a level of bullying that nearly cost her everything. She talks to Beth about what her nervous system learned from that childhood, the diagnosis that finally gave her a framework for who she is, what happens when ADHD, autism, postnatal depression, perimenopause and PMDD all collide at once, and why she believes community - not another self-help book - is what actually helps neurodivergent women survive motherhood. Show notes This is a conversation about being handed a label late in life and discovering it isn't a life sentence. It's a manual, albeit an incomplete one. Plum Ruffles and Bethany Wright talk about childhood environments that hold a neurodivergent brain together (and the ones that don't), the grief that comes with a late diagnosis, and what it actually takes to build a life, and a motherhood, with enough room in it. Themes: ADHD and autism diagnosed in adulthood, neurodivergent motherhood, PMDD and perimenopause, masking and burnout, bullying and mental health, and building community around honesty rather than performance. If you've ever felt like you were too much in one breath and not enough in the next, this one's for you. Key takeaways The environment you grow up in can hold a neurodivergent brain together or let it fall apart — the brain doesn't change, the surroundings do.A late diagnosis brings relief, grief, disbelief and anger, often all at once, and often not in that order.Masking protects you as a child but exhausts you as an adult — and self-compassion has to come before anything else can heal.Community with other neurodivergent women isn't a nice-to-have — Plum calls it "the medicine" for a lifetime of feeling like the odd one out. Find Plum Ruffles Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/plum.ruffles/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/plum-ruffles/Not Too Much (community): https://www.instagram.com/wearenottoomuch/More from Notes from the Not There Yet Website: https://notthereyetproject.co.ukSubstack (The Not Yets): https://thenotthereyetproject.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/notthereyetproject/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-not-there-yet-project/Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NotThereYetProjectListen on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/bethany-wright6/ Podcast EditorCharlotte Gunnellhttps://charlottegunnell.com/

  2. Sep 15

    "Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?": Samantha Alice Leigh on Motherhood, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and Finding Herself Again

    Episode description Samantha Alice Leigh had hyperemesis gravidarum through two pregnancies. Sickness so severe she couldn't eat, couldn't leave her bed for months, and couldn't bring herself to celebrate either baby until she was 20 weeks along. This episode is about what that illness actually felt like, and what it took from her identity, twice over. Sam grew up in Oldham, the eldest of three, learning early to hold things together. She spent over a decade building a life in Australia with her partner Paul before moving home to the UK where for a second time, hyperemesis gravidarum and new motherhood stripped her sense of self back to almost nothing - first it was physical, then, the second time, mental. She talks to Bethany Wright about dimming her light at school, the redundancy that reshaped her twenties, becoming a mum in a country far from family, and why she eventually decided to talk about all of it publicly and honestly on Instagram, as Motherhood Diaries. Show notes This is a conversation about the identities motherhood takes from us and the ones we have to rebuild in its place - sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once. Sam and Bethany talk through two decades of friendship and one very honest account of what hyperemesis gravidarum actually costs, physically and mentally, and what's left of you on the other side of it. Themes: Hyperemesis gravidarumIdentity and motherhoodIsolation in early parentingLong-distance friendshipBuilding a life abroadLearning to be "not there yet" without a deadline attached. If you've ever lost your sense of who you are inside new motherhood, or wished someone had warned you what pregnancy could actually feel like, this one's for you. Key takeaways Hyperemesis gravidarum is far more than "bad morning sickness" and the lack of awareness around it leaves women feeling like they're failing at something that's actually a medical illness.Identity loss in motherhood isn't a failure of resilience - it's a near-universal experience most people just don't say out loud.Community with people in the same season of life isn't a nice-to-have when you're isolated - it's often the thing that gets you through."Quality over quantity" applies to more than content - Sam's approach to slow, honest growth on Instagram is really a philosophy about not performing a version of yourself you don't recognise. Find Samantha Alice InstagramLinkedInFind the The Not There Yet Project: ⁠Website⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠ ⁠SubstackPodcast editor ⁠Charlotte Gunnell⁠

    "Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?": Samantha Alice Leigh on Motherhood, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and Finding Herself Again

  3. Sep 1

    "The Woman Behind Door #2": Zeva Bellel on Trusting the Life You Can't Fully Explain

    Episode description Zeva Bellel has spent her adult life following the same pull more than once: toward a truer version of herself, even when it meant leaving what was stable and secure. First it was a one-way flight from Brooklyn to Paris at twenty-five. Then it was walking away from a decade in journalism to build her own blog from scratch. Then, after ten years at Yelp building a marketing team from nothing, she was made redundant in one of the company's most brutal rounds of layoffs - and instead of going back into marketing and community, she retrained as a certified career and leadership coach. In this conversation, Zeva talks about the pull toward France that started with a French TV programme in a Brooklyn classroom, what it actually felt like to be jobless on a friend's couch in Paris at twenty-five with no plan, the manager who taught her everything about how not to lead, and the single phone call that ended her time at Yelp for good. She also explains why she coaches women specifically, why "transformation" is almost never the lightning bolt it looks like from the outside, and what she's learned writing her first book. Show notes Zeva Bellel built a career across three countries and three completely different industries - journalism, tech marketing, and now coaching. Twice, she chose an uncertain, truer path over a stable one. The third time, the choice was taken out of her hands entirely - and what she did next is really the heart of this conversation. This episode moves from a Brooklyn childhood shaped by a French TV programme, through a semester abroad that didn't go to plan, a one-way move to Paris at twenty-five, a decade building a career in magazines and blogging, ten years at Yelp that ended in a single phone call, and into the coaching practice, podcast and forthcoming book she's built since - instead of going back to marketing. Themes: Chasing an inexplicable pull toward another life, and trusting it anywayWhat a toxic manager teaches you about the leader you want to beBuilding something of your own from nothing, twice"We're not a family" - what a mass redundancy teaches you about workChoosing to coach women, and why self-trust is the real subject Key Takeaways Transformation is almost never a lightning bolt - it's a long, messy, doubt-filled process, and the myth that it should feel instant does real damage.A company can be brilliant and still not be a family - you can love your colleagues completely and still recognise the difference.A door closing on you without your permission doesn't mean you have no say in what happens next.Watching a bad manager up close can teach you as much about leadership as a good one.Coaching is fundamentally about helping someone trust that they already know what they want. If this one landed, send it to a woman who's ever had a pull toward a different life she couldn't quite explain. Leave a review, or send us a message and tell us what stuck with you. And if you're new here, hit follow - Notes from the Not There Yet is out every two weeks. Find the The Not There Yet Project: Website⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ Substack

    "The Woman Behind Door #2": Zeva Bellel on Trusting the Life You Can't Fully Explain

  4. Aug 18

    "You Don't Deserve to Know the Real Me": MAFS Holly Ditchfield on What the Cameras Didn't Show

    Episode description Holly Louise Ditchfield found out she was pregnant at thirty-seven weeks. Not a missed period, not a hunch - thirty-seven weeks, with three left to go, after she'd poured water on the test hoping it would lie for her too. Eight years later she built a business, Lash Lounge, from her bedroom, fitting clients around school pick-ups. And in 2024, at twenty-nine, she went on Married at First Sight and became the woman a lot of the country remembers for remembering who she was as she wrote 'Leave'. In this conversation, Holly talks about what was really happening behind that decision, what the show didn't show, and the six months between filming ending and it airing, when no one around her knew where she'd been. Holly also shares something she's never spoken about publicly before - a loss, and what happened on the exact same day one year later. Now engaged to Aaron, training to be a midwife, and expecting twins, Holly talks about the difference between chasing fame and choosing yourself. Show notes Holly Ditchfield became a mum at sixteen with no warning at all, built a beauty business from her bedroom as a young single mother, and later became known nationally through Married at First Sight - a process she says she'd never repeat. This conversation moves from a Greater Manchester and Yorkshire childhood through the relationship she left at twenty-one, the years spent building Lash Lounge from nothing, the reality of what happens once the cameras stop rolling, and a loss she's never spoken about publicly before - up to where she is now, expecting twins and training to become a midwife. Themes: Becoming a mother with no run-up, and what it costs to grow up in publicBuilding a business alone, and the "mum guilt" nobody warns you aboutWhat reality TV is actually like once the cameras are offRemembering who you are under public pressure and public opinionLoss, timing, and choosing to try again If this one landed, send it to a woman who's ever had to remember who she was before she could move forward. Leave a review, or send us a message and tell us what stuck with you. And if you're new here, hit follow - Notes from the Not There Yet is out every two weeks. Key takeaways Losing yourself in a relationship or a role doesn't mean you can't find your way back - it might just take one decision, made quickly."Great in a crisis" isn't the same as okay - the strength people see from the outside is often the least of the story.You don't need qualifications or permission to build something; a passion will push you through the hours nobody sees.Public opinion is built on an edit, not on you — the people forming it don't know what you know about your own life.Not every loss needs to be shared right away. It's allowed to wait until you're somewhere safe enough to say it. Find Holly Ditchfield ⁠Instagram⁠TikTok Find the The Not There Yet Project: Website⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠ ⁠Substack

    "You Don't Deserve to Know the Real Me": MAFS Holly Ditchfield on What the Cameras Didn't Show

  5. Aug 3

    "The Ultimate Ice Queen": Faye Roddy on What It Cost to Hold It All Together

    Episode description Faye Roddy is a strategic business coach who built one of the UK's biggest cleaning franchises from nothing and sold it in a single thirty-minute meeting. But the version of Faye people see today didn't start in a boardroom. It started on market stalls in Salford, counting pennies for her mum at ten years old. In this conversation, we go back to the decision that shaped everything, leaving school at fifteen, and the year that nearly broke her: becoming a mum at twenty-two, a medical emergency with her baby son that changed how she saw the world, and walking away from her marriage with £10,000 and nothing else. We talk about the fourteen years she spent building a flagship franchise business while quietly carrying a cancer diagnosis she kept from her own children. And we talk about the "ice queen" mask - what it costs to be the strong one, and what happens when you finally put yourself on the list. Faye Roddy went from waiting tables in her mum's café at eight years old to building one of the UK's largest franchise businesses - and then walking away from it, twice: once when it was sold out from under her, and once by choice, on her own terms. This conversation moves from a Salford childhood built on graft and independence, through single motherhood and a secret cancer diagnosis, to the moment she handed her life's work to her team in a thirty-minute meeting - and what she's building now, for herself and for other women. Themes: Growing up "old-headed" - independence as both a gift and an armourBecoming a mother, and nearly losing a child, at twenty-twoRebuilding a life from a £10,000 car sale and nothing elseBuilding a flagship business while carrying a cancer diagnosis in secretThe "ice queen" mask, and what it costs to always be the strong oneChoosing to sell, choosing to develop others, and choosing freedom If you've ever been the one everyone else leans on, send this to someone who needs to hear it. Leave a review, or send us a message and tell us what stuck with you. And if you're new here, hit follow. Notes from the Not There Yet is out every two weeks. Key takeaways Being independent from a young age can be both the reason you succeed and the reason you struggle to let people in.You can hold a business together while your personal world is falling apart — but it has a cost, and it's worth naming.Selling something you built isn't a single ending. Sometimes you have to let it go twice.Developing other people's confidence can be the thing that finally sets you free.Freedom isn't the reward at the end. It's a decision you make on the way there.Find Faye Roddy WebsiteLinkedInInstagramFacebook Find the The Not There Yet Project: WebsiteInstagramLinkedIn Substack Not lost, not arrived, just not there yet.

    "The Ultimate Ice Queen": Faye Roddy on What It Cost to Hold It All Together

  6. Jul 20

    "A Confusing Ethnic Concoction": Gemma Lees on Art, Identity, and Not Looking the Part

    EPISODE DESCRIPTION Gemma Lees is a performance poet, journalist, facilitator and fine art installationist from Bury - and a proud Romani gypsy. In this episode, she talks about growing up in a creative, self-employed Romani family, multiple breakdowns and period of homelessness in her early twenties, being diagnosed as dyslexic and dyspraxic at 21 and autistic at 41, and living with fibromyalgia after years of being dismissed by doctors. We talk about what people get wrong about Romani and Traveller identity, why she turns insults into material rather than shame, and how creativity - protest art, poetry, performance - became both her advocacy and her survival. She wants her work to make people "laugh till they cry, and cry till they act." SHOW NOTES Gemma Lees is a performance poet, journalist and installation artist who has spent her career turning her own story - Romani identity, late diagnoses of autism and fibromyalgia, a breakdown and homelessness in her early twenties - into work that dispels myths and refuses to be quiet about it. This conversation moves from an oral storytelling childhood through a difficult chapter at university, to the funeral that brought her back to creativity, to the advocacy and installation work she's building now. Themes: Romani and Traveller identity, and the myths that surround it Late diagnosis (autism at 41, fibromyalgia after years of being dismissed) Creativity as both advocacy and catharsis Rebuilding after a breakdown, one decision at a time Turning insults and stereotypes into material, not shame Key Takeaways You don't have to look like what people expect your identity to be for it to be real. Creativity isn't a luxury - for Gemma, it's advocacy, protest, and catharsis all at once. A late diagnosis doesn't erase the years before it. It just finally explains them. Rejection can become material instead of a verdict - turn the insult into a t-shirt. "Not there yet" can mean building something, one decision at a time, with no fixed finish line. If this episode moved you in some way, please send it to someone who's ever been told they don't "look like" what they are. Leave a review, or send us a message and tell us what stuck with you. And if you're new here, hit follow - Notes from the Not There Yet is out every two weeks. Find Gemma Lees:Website: https://gemmaleesartist.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gemmathepoet/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gemmathepoet83Find the The Not There Yet Project: Website: https://notthereyetproject.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notthereyetproject/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethanydwrightSubstack: https://thenotthereyetproject.substack.com/Not lost, not arrived, just not there yet.

    "A Confusing Ethnic Concoction": Gemma Lees on Art, Identity, and Not Looking the Part

  7. Jul 6

    "That's Such a Cheap Shot": Jenny Marshall on the Crisis She Didn't See Coming

    Episode Summary Jenny Marshall has spent close to twenty years in mental health and seven years in private practice, working with people at every point on what she calls "the spectrum" - from quiet, low-level dissatisfaction to something far more serious when it's left unheard. In this episode, Jenny takes us back to the school reports that called her a "classic underachiever," through the acute eating disorders unit she walked into at 23 with no idea what she was signing up for, to the traumatic birth that made her, for the first time in her career, the person in crisis instead of the one holding it together. We talk about the marriage, the senior NHS role and the M&S-stocked fridge that looked like having it all and felt like nothing at all, and why she walked away from all three at once. Jen also takes apart the stereotype of the older man with a notepad and a couch, and makes the case that you don't have to be falling apart to deserve a space to talk. Show notes Integrative counsellor Jenny Marshall spent her career being the calm one in other people's crises until a traumatic birth put her on the other side of the bed and forced her to look at why "coping" had always come so easily. This conversation moves from an underachieving childhood to an inpatient eating disorders unit at 23, through a marriage and NHS career that looked right on paper, to the moment Jen chose herself instead. Along the way, she and Beth take apart what people get wrong about therapists, and why "not there yet" isn't a crisis point - it's a spectrum. Themes Being "great in a crisis" as a learned response, not a personality traitThe gap between a life that looks right on paper and one that feels right underneathWhy therapy doesn't require a crisis to be validThe stereotypes that keep people from asking for helpChoosing yourself as an act of showing your children something, not just yourselfIf this one lands, send it to the friend who's always the calm one in a crisis. Leave a review, or send us a message and tell us what stuck with you. And if you're new here, hit follow - Notes from the Not There Yet is out every other Tuesday. Key takeaways Being "great in a crisis" can be a learned response you don't recognise until something forces you to stop performing it.You don't need to be falling apart to deserve therapy - not there yet exists on a spectrum, and it's easier to hear early than late.A life that looks right on paper and a life that feels right underneath are not the same thing, and you're allowed to notice the gap.The fear of being perceived as having failed is often bigger, and more paralysing, than failure itself.AI and social media can be a front door into therapy but they were never meant to be the destination. Find JennyWebsiteLinkedInFind the The Not There Yet Project WebsiteInstagramLinkedInSubstack

    "That's Such a Cheap Shot": Jenny Marshall on the Crisis She Didn't See Coming

  8. Jun 22

    The Golden Buddha, the Avalanche, and Starting Over at 60

    Episode descriptionJanine Isaacs spent decades as a high-level medical negligence lawyer and property developer. Then at 60, she staged a revolution. She walked away from a 23-year emotionally damaging relationship, retrained as a transformative life coach, and decided to find out who she actually was underneath the decades of clay she'd built around herself. In this conversation, we talk about the Golden Buddha - and why we spend half our lives covering ourselves in clay just to survive. We talk about the avalanche, and how to tell which way is up when your world is shifting beneath your feet. We talk about age being a myth, and why 60 is actually a brilliant time to be a newbie. And we talk about the grip of the messy middle, and how you can find your way back to yourself just by breathing. This episode is for anyone who has ever lost themselves slowly, without knowing when it happened - and wondered whether it's too late to find out who they actually are. Show notes: In this episode, Bethany sits down with Janine Isaacs - transformative life coach, former medical negligence lawyer, and someone who made the most radical decision of her life at 60 - to explore what it really means to start over. Janine's story is not about a dramatic single moment of collapse. It's about the slow, process of losing yourself, and the equally slow, deeply intentional process of finding your way back. Themes explored: The golden Buddha - why we build layers of clay around ourselves and how to strip them backFear as the driver - how people-pleasing and avoidance lead to self-erasureThe night everything changed - and what it means when the walls close inThe avalanche - navigating complete chaos without knowing which way is upFinding stillness - why doing is the wrong response when life falls apartAge as a myth - starting a business and a new life at 60Perspective from professional grief - what working with tragedy teaches you about gratitudeFinding the gold - and why the gold is always loveIf this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who is navigating their own messy middle right now. And if you've ever found yourself making yourself smaller to survive - this one is for you. Key takeaways: The clay isn't you. Everything you've built around yourself to survive can also be dismantled - by you.Doing more is not the answer. Find the stillness. Start being, not doing. Breathe.Fear of being too old is just another layer of clay. Your years are a qualification, not a handicap.Perspective doesn't come from success. It comes from sitting with other people's pain.You can't think your way out of an avalanche. You have to feel your way through.The gold underneath all of it is love. That's where the digging leads.

    The Golden Buddha, the Avalanche, and Starting Over at 60
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About

Notes from the Not There Yet is the podcast for anyone navigating life’s messy middle - not lost, not arrived, just not there yet. Hosted by Bethany Wright, founder of The Not There Yet Project, this show brings you honest conversations, unpolished stories, and practical tools for finding meaning, belonging, and growth in your 30s, 40s, and beyond. Each episode dives into the real journeys of creatives, solopreneurs, leaders and seekers from Manchester, across the UK, and globally - people balancing work and wellbeing, chasing joy, and rewriting success on their own terms. From overcoming imposter syndrome and anxiety, to rebuilding after loss, pivoting careers, or launching side hustles, our guests share the truths behind their transitions and the courage it takes to keep going. Expect raw reflections, resilient voices, and relatable insights on purpose, identity, business, self-development, and wellbeing. Whether you’re sat in a Manchester café, commuting through London, or tuning in from anywhere in the world, this podcast is your reminder that you don’t need to have it all figured out to create a life that feels real. Because growth lives here - in the in-between. Life transitions, 30s podcast, 40s podcast, Manchester voices, UK podcast, imposter syndrome, side hustles, purpose, resilience, creativity, self-development, entrepreneurship, belonging, messy middle, personal growth podcast, health & fitness.

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