Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife | Navigating Love and Intimacy After Past Abuse

Robyn Homer | Relationship Coach
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I was the wife who felt broken.
 He was the husband who needed to be liked. 
I hid my pain. 
He hid behind kindness.
 I doubted my worth. 
He performed his. Now, I’m finding my voice.
 And he’s learning to stand in truth. I’m Robyn, a domestic abuse survivor turned relationship coach, and this is Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife, a space for couples who want to heal from the past and build a marriage grounded in truth, safety, and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change. Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again. This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.

  1. 3D AGO

    16. Are You Reinforcing What You Resent?

    The thing that frustrates you most about your partner? You may be unintentionally reinforcing it. In this episode, I’m breaking down the criticism–withdrawal cycle that keeps so many couples stuck. The more one partner pushes for what they want, the more the other pulls away, and both end up feeling like the victim. I share what this looked like in my marriage with Brent, the insight that shifted everything for me, and the three steps to clean up your side of the street without trying to control your partner. If you’re tired of reacting and ready to show up with integrity, this conversation will give you a clear starting point. Subscribe to email list Interested in 1:1 coaching? Schedule free discovery call Interested in our Couples Retreat: Learn more

    17 min

  2. FEB 11

    15. Is People-Pleasing a Survival Instinct?

    If conflict makes you shut down, apologize quickly, or question yourself, this isn’t insecurity. It’s survival. In this episode, I’m breaking down the tension between attachment and authenticity, and how childhood adaptations can quietly shape your marriage today. What helped you survive years ago may now be keeping you disconnected from yourself and from your partner. We’ll talk about people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and how to stay connected without losing who you are. If you’re ready to build intimacy that feels safe and honest, this episode will show you where to begin. Learn more about our couples retreat HERE. Price increases on Feb. 16!

    17 min

  3. FEB 4

    14. The Fight That Changed How We Set Expectations

    How do you change a long-standing pattern in your marriage without just giving in to keep the peace? How do you stay true to yourself and stay connected, especially when conflict is high? Last week, I shared why setting clear expectations often backfires and creates more resentment than resolution. This week, Brent joins me to bring that concept to life with a real story from our own marriage. We unpack a big fight over a red light, and how it became a hinge point for shifting out of old dynamics. You’ll hear what it looked like when expectations weren’t met, the frustration that followed, and how we moved toward something more honest, self-authored, and connected. We talk about: The difference between yielding to pressure vs. making aligned choicesWhy emotional regulation (not anger or withdrawal) builds real trustWhat it actually takes to interrupt long-standing patterns, without losing yourself If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of pursuing, distancing, people-pleasing, or silent resentment, this conversation will show you a new way through. 🗓️ Want to learn how to disagree without disconnecting? Our April couples retreat in Bear Lake is your next step. More Details Here

    20 min

  4. JAN 28

    13. Why Clear Expectations Aren't Working

    What if your “clear expectations” are actually creating distance in your marriage? In this episode, I unpack the subtle but powerful shift that happens when expressing a desire turns into demanding agreement, and how this dynamic often stems from deeper wounds, especially for survivors of abuse. You’ll hear how I navigated this in my own relationship with Brent, why healthy disagreement matters, and how to express what you want without losing connection. If you’ve ever felt dismissed, hurt, or triggered when your partner doesn’t respond the way you hoped, this conversation will offer clarity, compassion, and a more honest path to intimacy. 🔗 Want to explore this work more deeply? Learn about our upcoming couples retreat in April. More Details Here

    14 min

  5. JAN 21

    12. Sex After Abuse: What Helped and What Didn't

    What happens when one partner carries sexual trauma into a marriage and the other feels guilty for wanting sex at all? In this honest, deeply personal episode, Brent joins me to talk about what it was like being the higher desire partner when sex still felt unsafe for me. We share what helped, what didn't, and how important it was that we both stopped masking what we were experiencing in our sexual relationship. If you’ve ever felt stuck between guilt, pressure, and desire, or if you're navigating sex after abuse in your own marriage, this conversation is for you. 💬 Interested in signing up for the next couples retreat? Find all the details HERE. If you'd like to talk with Brent and I before deciding, schedule a discovery call HERE.

    44 min

  6. JAN 14

    11. When You Want Sex Less Than Your Partner

    For years, I believed I was broken because I was the wife who wanted nothing to do with sex. In this episode, we explore what it really means to be the lower desire partner in a relationship... and why it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. I talk about the dynamics of mismatched sexual desire and the emotional toll it can take on both partners in very different ways. I’ll also walk you through the difference between sexual desire and intimacy and why the distinction matters. Whether you're the higher or lower desire partner, this conversation will help you stop pointing fingers (at yourself or your partner) and start reclaiming your personal agency. 🎟️ Curious about our upcoming couples retreat? Get more details HERE. Limited spots available.

    17 min

  7. JAN 7

    10. Why "Fixing Yourself" Isn't the Path to Growth

    New year, same pressure: be better, try harder, fix yourself. But what if the belief that something is wrong with you is what’s keeping you stuck? In this episode, I unpack the quiet damage of entering the new year feeling broken, and how chasing change from that place can leave you depleted.I share what shifted in my own healing and marriage when I stopped trying to fix myself and started asking a better question: What do I want? You’ll hear about the powerful concept of “meaningful endurance” and how moving from pressure to personal ownership changed everything for me, especially in intimacy.If you’ve ever felt like you should be further along, this is the invitation to choose a new approach.👉 Want first access to our couples retreat details + Valentine’s Day discount? Stay connected, more info coming soon.Interested in coaching? Get more details HERE.

    12 min

  8. 12/31/2025

    9. How to Own Your Part Without Taking All the Blame

    In this episode, I talk about the dynamic that silently shapes and sometimes sabotages every marriage: the imbalance of responsibility. If you find yourself either taking the blame for everything or constantly defending your perspective, this pattern might be more familiar than you think (I’ve been on both sides). You’ll learn how trauma can lead us to overcorrect in relationships, why courage and consideration need to coexist, and how to use self-confrontation to rebuild intimacy without losing yourself. I share personal examples, including a story from my past abuse I’ve never told before, and walk you through the exact questions that help you stop owning what isn't yours or over-defending so you can move toward a healthier relationship. P.S. If intimacy has felt difficult after trauma, even in a safe and loving relationship, I’m now offering a new online course called Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, paired with one-on-one coaching. If you’re curious whether it’s a good fit, you can schedule a free Discovery Call with me HERE.

    22 min
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About

I was the wife who felt broken.
 He was the husband who needed to be liked. 
I hid my pain. 
He hid behind kindness.
 I doubted my worth. 
He performed his. Now, I’m finding my voice.
 And he’s learning to stand in truth. I’m Robyn, a domestic abuse survivor turned relationship coach, and this is Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife, a space for couples who want to heal from the past and build a marriage grounded in truth, safety, and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change. Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again. This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.

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