Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

Julius Marques
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Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

  1. 2d ago

    Love Is Not One Thing And Here Is Why | S5 E132

    Send us Fan Mail Love is not a single feeling you either have or you do not. It is a set of patterns, and once you can name them, you can stop guessing at what is happening in your relationships and start choosing what to build. We walk through eight types of love using the classic Greek terms: pragma (mature commitment), eros (passion and desire), philia (deep friendship), philautia (self-love), storge (family bond), ludus (playful early-stage energy), agape (giving without expecting anything back), and mania (obsessive love that can spiral into jealousy and codependency). I also introduce a fun framing that makes the whole thing click: love catalysts. Think of catalysts like chemistry, the trigger that speeds up the reaction. We talk about how different loves can feel mind-driven, body-driven, soul-driven, memory-driven, or purpose-driven, and why that matters for communication and compatibility. Along the way, I share practical ways to show healthier forms of love (effort, trust, gratitude, self-care, playful connection) and I push back on a few “nice-sounding” ideas that are not always real life, like forgiving quickly or assuming family bonds are automatic. We close by looking at how obsessive love starts, how to catch possessive behavior before you act on it, and how self-work and boundaries protect your relationships. Listen, then tell me which love type you recognize in your life right now. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs better language for love, and leave a review so more people can find the Kampfire. Source material - https://www.ftd.com/blog/types-of-love 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    24 min

  2. Jun 11

    What If Sex Ed Taught Risk And Care | S5 EP131

    Send us Fan Mail Sex Ed failed a lot of us, not because we missed a diagram, but because we never got the tools to talk about consent, risk, and boundaries when things get real. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m bringing the kink-informed “health class” I wish existed, the one that actually explains the words people use and the safety practices that protect everyone involved. If you’ve ever felt lost hearing terms like kink, fetish, BDSM, scene, dynamic, or aftercare, this is the roadmap. We start by defining core kink and BDSM vocabulary in clear, usable language, then move into the stuff that matters most when you’re negotiating with a partner: soft limits, hard limits, and what it means to be a play partner versus an intimate partner. We also talk roles like top, bottom, dominant, and submissive, with a reminder that these are actions and agreements, not automatic personality traits. You’ll walk away with language you can actually use in a conversation before clothes come off. From there, we get practical about kink safety and consent. I break down RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) and why “do whatever you want” is not a green flag, plus how safewords work in the stoplight system. We also cover nonverbal safewords, check-ins during a scene, and a point people still miss: consent is always revocable, even if you’re deep into it, and tops have consent and safewords too. Finally, we draw the line between consensual BDSM and intimate partner violence, then close with why aftercare is a real need, not a bonus. If you want better communication, safer kink exploration, and healthier sexual boundaries, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the sex education we all should have gotten. Source material - https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2026/04/29/6-things-your-sex-ed-class-left-out-on-kink-and-consent/?fbclid=IwdGRjcARzV9BjbGNrBHNXwmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHp6ZF5MPbbQ6LjUT8yE3D4IRyqW9zzkjOCleWFsCfjvIM2ma02UROxlAg_Tx_aem_X_ceIxCKx9sW52cL4zDXcg https://www.carneliancounselingportland.com/blog/1179566-consent-consent-consent TEA & CONSENT - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    33 min

  3. Jun 4

    The Four Types Of Singles | S5 EP130

    Send us Fan Mail Single can feel like one big label, but I don’t buy that. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m pulling apart a question that hits your dating life harder than most people admit: what “type” of single are you, and how does that shape who you attract, who you frustrate, and who you actually build with? We start with four single archetypes from a research-inspired article: the Professional (ambitious, structured, achievement-focused), the Carefree (adventure-driven, laid-back, flexible), the Heartless (emotionally detached, no-strings energy), and the Loner (solitude-loving, slow to connect). I talk through the best traits and the potential downsides of each, plus the real-world compatibility landmines like scheduling vs spontaneity, commitment vs freedom, and connection vs distance. If you’re into alternative relationships, kink, or nontraditional dating, this kind of self-knowledge makes communication cleaner and consent clearer. Then I add six more “types of singles” from another self-report study: Happy-Go-Lucky, Where’s My Social Life, Quiet Sufferer, It’s Not Me It’s You, Maybe I’m The Problem, and Mixed Bag. I’m honest about the limitations of self-reporting, but I also show how these categories can help you spot patterns in self-esteem, stress, health, friendships, and family ties so you can date with more intention. Listen, share it with a friend who needs a reality check, and subscribe, rate, and review Around the Kinky Kampfire. Which type are you right now, and what would you want to change? Source material - https://www.yourtango.com/love/types-single-people-best-worst-traits https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202405/how-the-6-types-of-single-people-differ-which-one-are-you 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    24 min

  4. May 28

    What If The Safest Way Into BDSM Is Community First | S5 EP129

    Send us Fan Mail You do not need a secret password to find your people, you need a path. We start with the real beginner question: how do you get into a BDSM community without getting overwhelmed, pressured, or pulled into unsafe situations? I share my own origin story, from realizing “regular porn didn’t do it for me” to finding FetLife, discovering events, and finally walking into my first munch. Yes, there’s also a quick mid-day energy drink ASMR moment because that’s how we warm up around the campfire. We get practical about what actually works for newcomers: creating a FetLife profile, browsing the events tab in your city, and choosing public meetups like munches and sloshes as a safer first step. I explain the difference between a munch and a slosh, why public settings can help you feel safer, and how to show up with an open mind even if your social skills feel rusty. We also talk about the unspoken “probationary period” most kink communities have, where trust builds through consistency and good behavior over time. Then we zoom out to the bigger ecosystem: local dungeons, how to check venue rules (including sex positive policies and edge play limits), and why learning and consent stay at the center. I break down partner vetting, references, and red flags, plus the reality of roles and “side of the slash” friendships for tops, bottoms, and switches. We wrap with conferences, play parties, and my favorite introvert-friendly hack: volunteering, which gives you a purpose and makes connection easier. If you’re curious about BDSM education, kink safety, and finding a real kink community, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of joining a BDSM community feels most intimidating to you right now? Source material - https://www.hotoctopuss.com/blogs/couples-play-bdsm-bondage-bdsm-basics-for-couples-safe-sensual-and-satisfying-ways-to-connect/bdsm-community-how-to-get-involved?srsltid=AfmBOoohdwuli5cBlbTtrPPYRql8YQm9TFH8xehXeWyuVD3FHHq0cvtD https://obedienceapp.com/blog/entering-your-community-era 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    29 min

  5. May 21

    A Clear Intro To Non-Monogamy Without The Myths | S5 EP128

    Send us Fan Mail Non-monogamy gets talked about like it is either a cheat code for relationships or a guaranteed disaster, and both takes miss the point. We sit down by the campfire and give a clear, no-fluff intro to consensual non-monogamy, including polyamory, open relationships, and the mindset shift that comes with admitting one person cannot meet every need for every season of your life. We also say the quiet part out loud: consent is not optional, and yes, you can still cheat in non-monogamy when you hide, lie, or break agreements. From there we dig into the emotional side that people rarely prepare for. We challenge the reflex to label every hard feeling as jealousy, and we talk about how unmet needs, insecurity, and bad partner behavior can masquerade as “jealousy problems.” We unpack why trying to control your partner backfires, what you can actually control, and why communication feels terrifying when the real fear is rejection. If boundaries have been hard for you, we connect that to identity, people pleasing, and the uncomfortable reality that you sometimes learn a boundary only after something hurts. We also clear up some common non-monogamy myths: compersion is not required, constant happiness is not the goal, and you do not owe anyone a performance of being “cool.” We talk metamours, privacy, and negotiating how much information you want to hear about other dates. Then we bring it down to earth with the logistics that shape every relationship: time, distance, money, mental energy, and the fact that love may feel infinite but your resources are not. If you are curious about ethical non-monogamy, this is a practical starting point for doing your own research and making choices that fit your real life. Subscribe for new episodes, share this with a friend who needs a more honest take on non-monogamy, and leave a review if the conversation helped. What part of non-monogamy do you want us to go deeper on next? Source material - https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/thirteen-things-i-wish-id-learned-before-choosing-non-monogamy/ https://www.npr.org/2023/09/28/1196977813/what-to-know-if-youre-exploring-non-monogamy 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    28 min

  6. May 14

    Consensual Nonconsent Explained With Boundaries And Safewords | S5 EP127

    Send us Fan Mail CNC can look like chaos from the outside, but the real version runs on structure. I’m Julius Marques, and around the Kinky Kampfire I’m getting specific about consensual non-consent: what it is, what it is not, and why “we didn’t talk about it” is the fastest way to turn a fantasy into harm. We walk through the foundations of CNC kink and BDSM consent, including pre-negotiation, clear boundaries, and the reality that consent is ongoing and revocable. I also hit a myth head-on: yes, you can have safewords in CNC. Sometimes you keep your usual safeword, sometimes you negotiate a scene-specific word or a safe gesture, but you never remove the ability to stop. We also talk about blanket consent and why I’m cautious about agreements that are too broad to protect people day to day. From there we get practical: why CNC is riskier than typical play, how confusion and adrenaline can lead to mistakes, and why aftercare matters so much when the headspace ends and drop can kick in for tops and bottoms alike. I compare CNC vs free use, explain why these fantasies are common, and share example scenarios plus the real pros and cons, including intimacy, exploration, and the potential for emotional harm if mishandled. If you want kink education that’s direct, safety-forward, and honest, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the clarity, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Source material -   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/202502/rising-interest-in-consensual-non-consent https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/consensual-non-consent 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    26 min

  7. May 7

    S3xless Existence Video Review | S5 EP126

    Send us Fan Mail Porn gets blamed for everything, but the real story is harder and more important. I’m reviewing a Modern Wisdom podcast conversation with Dr. Debra Soh and pausing on the parts that actually affect real relationships: how porn can shape sexual expectations, why “aggression” on a screen is not the same thing as consent in a bedroom, and where people get hurt when they copy what they saw without any negotiation. We dig into research on sexual aggression in pornography, including a surprising chart that complicates the usual narrative about who wants what. Then I get very direct about the choking trend: if you didn’t talk first, you’re not being edgy, you’re being unsafe. Kink and BDSM can be passionate, playful, and deeply connecting, but only when you treat communication as the main act. Safe words, clear boundaries, and real education matter more than any “hot” move you saw online. We also talk about heavier topics like trauma and why some studies find correlations between BDSM interest and childhood physical abuse. I don’t share that to shame anyone. I share it to push for self-awareness, better partners, and kink-informed support when someone needs it. And yes, we end with something lighter but still revealing: smut, romantasy, and why “monster” stories are basically a massive, overlooked engine of arousal and fantasy. Subscribe for more alternative relationship talk, share this with someone who needs a consent-first reminder, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. What’s one sexual “script” you wish people would stop copying without a conversation? Source video - https://youtu.be/-ZfEvx4-7SE?si=aMBzDz_5OpuN5Zu5 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    43 min

  8. Apr 30

    Stress Sweat, Grocery Stores, And Other Villains | S5 EP125

    Send us Fan Mail Stress doesn’t always look like a panic attack. Sometimes it looks like forgetting what you were saying mid-sentence, going blank at the checkout line, or showing up to a hangout with friends and realizing you can’t relax no matter how safe the room is. I’m Julius Marques, and I’m talking through a topic that hits me hard: stress as a full-body state that can hijack your choices, your memory, and your social vibe. We dig into fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, plus the sneaky ways stress hides inside “everyday” errands like the gym, the grocery store, or a quick conversation with a cashier. If you’ve ever wondered whether what you call social anxiety is actually a stuck stress response, this one will feel familiar. We break stress down into three types of stress: acute stress, episodic acute stress, and chronic stress. You’ll hear real-world signs to watch for, from tension headaches and stomach issues to rapid heartbeat and even stress sweat that smells different. Then we get practical with stress management tools you can try immediately: deep breathing you can scale from five-second cycles to longer counts, simple grounding like tapping, exercise as a way to metabolize stress hormones, and relaxation habits that build resilience over time. We also talk longer-game strategies: keeping a stress diary to spot patterns, learning to say no, setting boundaries, improving sleep and nutrition, practicing mindfulness meditation to stop time-traveling into the future, and knowing when to seek therapy or professional help, especially with chronic stress. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s been overwhelmed lately, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show. Source material - https://hartgrovehospital.com/the-3-types-of-stress-how-to-deal-with-them/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    32 min
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About

Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

Information

  • Creator
    Julius Marques
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    130
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
  • Show Website
    Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast