Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

Julius Marques
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Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

  1. 4d ago

    How To Understand Your Social Battery As An Ambivert | S5 EP150 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail Some days you’re the person holding court. Other days you’re counting minutes until you can go home and be quiet. If that sounds familiar, you’re not “wishy-washy” you might be an ambivert, and naming it can change how you handle relationships, work, and social stress. We break down ambivertism in plain language: the mix of introvert and extrovert traits, why “it depends on the situation” is a real pattern, and how your social battery actually works. We also talk about the spectrum problem, how people get trapped in binary labels, and why your behavior can shift with context, mood, and life demands without meaning you’re fake. Along the way, we connect it to everyday scenarios like walking into a room of strangers, feeling great with your inner circle, and needing recovery time even after something you enjoyed. You’ll hear practical takeaways too: how to reduce energy drain, how to communicate your needs, and why asking questions beats making assumptions. We also get into common ambivert strengths like adaptability and switching between listening and speaking, plus the downsides like feeling pressured to “pick a side” and getting worn out trying to keep balance. If you’ve been searching for answers about ambivert personality traits, introvert vs extrovert dynamics, social anxiety triggers, or how to recharge after socializing, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who says “it depends,” and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  2. Oct 15

    A Clear Guide To The Asexual Spectrum And The Many Kinds Of Attraction | S5 EP149 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail Sex is not the only reason people get close, and pretending it is makes a lot of us feel broken for no good reason. We unpack asexuality (ace) in plain English, starting with the core idea that asexuality is about not experiencing sexual attraction, not about whether you date, m********e, cuddle, or choose to have sex. That one shift helps separate identity from behavior and clears up why celibacy and asexuality are not the same thing. From there, we zoom out to the split attraction model and the parts of attraction most people never name out loud. We break down six types of attraction that can exist independently: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual, emotional, and intellectual. If you have ever thought “I want cuddles and conversation, not hookups,” this framework puts words to it. We also talk about the range within the asexual spectrum, including sex-repulsed, sex-neutral, and sex-positive asexual experiences, plus how aromantic (aro) traits can overlap or not overlap. We finish with the newer terms and research context that show how fast this field is still changing, including queer platonic relationships and “squishes,” that friend-crush energy that is real even when sex and romance are not. If any of this hits home, share the episode with someone who needs better language, subscribe for more deep dives, and leave a rating or review so more people can find it. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  3. Oct 8

    How To Use Love Languages To Communicate Better With Anyone | S5 EP148 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing everything and it still doesn’t land,” love languages explain the gap. We take the popular five love languages and strip away the hype so you can use them as a practical communication tool, not a personality label or a relationship shortcut. Along the way, I call out the biggest problem I see everywhere: people making assumptions for years instead of having one honest conversation. We walk through quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts with real-life examples and the messy nuance people ignore. Quality time can be presence and active listening, but it can also be a thoughtful text when you’re not in the same room. Physical touch can be powerful, but only when consent and boundaries are clear. Acts of service and gifts sound straightforward until you realize effort can still miss if it’s not the kind of effort your person actually values. And words of affirmation hits different when it’s specific recognition, not empty compliments. We also get into the origin story behind Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, the difference between giving and receiving preferences, and why love languages can change with mood, stress, and life seasons. Finally, we talk benefits like empathy and stronger connection, plus risks like turning it into a scorecard or using it for manipulation and love bombing. If you want better relationships without mind-reading, press play, share this with someone you care about, and leave a rating or review. What love language do you want people to understand about you? 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  4. Oct 1

    When Fiction Opens The Door To Real Education: SmutLovers 2024 | S5 EP147 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail Smut Lovers 2024 isn’t just a book convention, it’s a live intersection of romance fiction, BDSM education, queer community, and the messy practical work of building safer spaces. I’m fresh off volunteering in Central Florida, and I’m unpacking what stood out: why smut readers often arrive as “kink-curious,” how a local dungeon sponsor can turn fiction-inspired curiosity into real learning, and what it feels like to be surrounded by people who actually want the facts instead of assumptions. If you’ve ever wondered how readers, authors, educators, and community folks share the same room without it turning into chaos, this one’s for you.  We also get real about the behind-the-scenes side of conventions: organizers who are somehow also authors, volunteers keeping panels on time, and the constant challenge of getting information to attendees. I nerd out about event apps, schedules, reminders, and why good logistics are underrated consent culture. Along the way, I talk about task switching, neurodivergence, and why promoting a podcast can feel like pulling teeth even when you love the work.  Then we go deeper into the values that keep communities functional: do your research, use the supercomputer in your pocket, and still ask the “dumb” questions anyway. I share notes on respectful tattoo clients, sensory limits, book signings, and stage performances that show BDSM can be public, skilled, emotional, and not just a cheap stereotype. I also share a new personal goal: applying to be a sensitivity reader for smut and kink-adjacent fiction. If you get something from this, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more curious people can find us. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  5. Sep 24

    You Can Do BDSM Without Having Sex | S5 EP146 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail People hear BDSM and immediately picture sex, but that shortcut causes a ton of confusion, bad expectations, and messy feelings in real-world kink spaces. We sit down to unpack a simple truth: BDSM can include sex, but it doesn’t have to. What drives a lot of scenes isn’t intercourse at all, it’s power exchange, sensation, trust, and intent. We get specific about the language people mix together, like BDSM vs kink vs fetish, and why defining “sex” is trickier than it sounds. Is it penetration, genital touch, arousal, or the intention to create orgasm? We talk through how intent changes everything, why arousal can happen accidentally in intense scenes, and how that doesn’t automatically make a scene “sexual” or mean anyone is owed more. We also share how our own relationships with kink differ, from kinky sex being the norm to doing plenty of nonsexual play with friends for stress relief, practice, and pure fun. Then we zoom out to public dungeons and play spaces: why many don’t allow traditional intercourse, how pickup play actually works, and why the kink community isn’t the swinger community. We cover the real skill that keeps people safe and sane, negotiating not just the physical acts but the emotional and intimate layer too, plus why check-ins after a scene matter as much as aftercare for bruises. If you’ve ever wondered whether you can explore BDSM without pressure to have sex, this one will help you walk in with clearer boundaries and a calmer brain. Subscribe, share this with a curious friend, and leave a review with the biggest kink misconception you want us to tackle next. 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  6. Sep 17

    Inside Smut Lovers 2023: A Book Conference With Real Kink Education | S5 EP145 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail A smut book conference that’s also packed with real-world kink education sounds like a contradiction until you see it up close. We’re fresh off Smut Lovers in Orlando, and we’re breaking down what actually happens when romance readers, spicy romance authors, and BDSM educators share the same space for a full weekend of panels, demos, signings, and community. We talk through how the conference is structured, from the VIP meet-and-greet and education-heavy Friday panels to Saturday’s author signing chaos where readers roll in with carts, maps, and a mission. We dig into why authors are hungry for realism, how “reality vs fiction” shows up in Q and A, and what it looks like when writers can ask experienced people the questions that make scenes safer and more believable. We also explain the role of a sensitivity reader, especially when stories touch impact play, non-consent themes, or trauma. Then we get into the hands-on learning: Rope 101, a Violet Wand demo with safety front and center, and the after party performances that hit harder than anyone expected. One of the biggest surprises is how emotional it can be for a room full of readers to witness real connection and intimacy, not just read it on the page. We also share the volunteer perspective, the beginner-friendly vibe, and the strange venue logistics of being near very different events while keeping everything respectful. If you’re curious about Smut Lovers, kink education for authors, or the growing smut book community, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves spicy romance, and leave a review with the most unexpected thing you learned from the conversation. 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  7. Sep 10

    A Clear Guide To Primal Play In BDSM | S5 EP144 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail Primal play gets labeled as “rough,” “animalistic,” or “hunter and prey,” but those words don’t help much when you’re trying to figure out what you actually want or why it keeps showing up in your fantasies. Julius digs into primalism as a core identity and a BDSM style built around raw impulse, pursuit, and embodied instinct. If you’ve ever wondered why some scenes feel like more than sex, why “mating” feels like its own category, or why wrestling and capture dynamics hit differently, this one is for you. We walk through plain-language definitions of primal kink, then turn them into real-world examples: scratching, biting, growling, pinning, mounting, and the chase of a primal hunt. We also talk about the roles you’ll see in the community, from primal hunter and primal prey to packs, tribes, shifters, and the alpha beta omega language. Julius shares how animal attachment (like wolf energy and pack mentality) can be spiritual or metaphorical, and where primal sometimes overlaps with pet play and furry without being the same thing. Consent stays at the center. We call out negotiation, adult-only boundaries, and why primal can look intense without being non-consensual. Then we end on the philosophical question that keeps coming up on Reddit and FetLife: are you born primal, or can you learn it with practice, partners, and reps? If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a curious friend, and leave a review so more kinksters can find the conversation. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  8. Sep 3

    Are You Protecting Yourself Or Avoiding Love? | S5 EP143

    Send us Fan Mail A random sound, an awkward moment, a “too trendy” habit, a loud chew, a cringe caption and suddenly your attraction falls off a cliff. That snap reaction gets labeled “the ick,” but I keep coming back to a sharper question: is it really just pettiness, or is it your gut trying to keep you safe? We walk through what the ick actually is, why it can feel so visceral, and why small things can start to look like deal breakers overnight. I dig into the research notes around common triggers and reported differences, then zoom out to the bigger relationship questions: when does the ick signal a real red flag like narcissism, misogyny, or chronic embarrassment, and when is it just normal human annoyance that you can talk through? We also get into attachment styles, especially avoidant attachment, and how fear of rejection or abandonment can push your brain to hunt for an exit. If you feel the ick over and over, it might be time to look at patterns, not just partners. On the sensory side, we cover misophonia and misokinesia, plus the brain and evolution angle around pair bonding and why our minds “pattern match” behaviors to stored negative associations. You’ll leave with practical dating advice: slow down, communicate clearly, re-evaluate honestly, and decide whether you’re protecting yourself or trapping yourself in perfection. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s dating, and leave a review. What’s the most surprising ick you’ve ever had? Source material - https://www.verywellmind.com/why-we-get-the-ick-according-to-therapists-7501527 https://www.georgetown.edu/news/ask-a-professor-the-neuroscience-of-the-ick/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

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About

Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

Information

  • Creator
    Julius Marques
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    148
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
  • Show Website
    Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast