Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

Julius Marques
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Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

  1. 5d ago

    A Clear Guide To Primal Play In BDSM | S5 EP144 (FLASHBACK)

    Send us Fan Mail Primal play gets labeled as “rough,” “animalistic,” or “hunter and prey,” but those words don’t help much when you’re trying to figure out what you actually want or why it keeps showing up in your fantasies. Julius digs into primalism as a core identity and a BDSM style built around raw impulse, pursuit, and embodied instinct. If you’ve ever wondered why some scenes feel like more than sex, why “mating” feels like its own category, or why wrestling and capture dynamics hit differently, this one is for you. We walk through plain-language definitions of primal kink, then turn them into real-world examples: scratching, biting, growling, pinning, mounting, and the chase of a primal hunt. We also talk about the roles you’ll see in the community, from primal hunter and primal prey to packs, tribes, shifters, and the alpha beta omega language. Julius shares how animal attachment (like wolf energy and pack mentality) can be spiritual or metaphorical, and where primal sometimes overlaps with pet play and furry without being the same thing. Consent stays at the center. We call out negotiation, adult-only boundaries, and why primal can look intense without being non-consensual. Then we end on the philosophical question that keeps coming up on Reddit and FetLife: are you born primal, or can you learn it with practice, partners, and reps? If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a curious friend, and leave a review so more kinksters can find the conversation. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  2. Sep 3

    Are You Protecting Yourself Or Avoiding Love? | S5 EP143

    Send us Fan Mail A random sound, an awkward moment, a “too trendy” habit, a loud chew, a cringe caption and suddenly your attraction falls off a cliff. That snap reaction gets labeled “the ick,” but I keep coming back to a sharper question: is it really just pettiness, or is it your gut trying to keep you safe? We walk through what the ick actually is, why it can feel so visceral, and why small things can start to look like deal breakers overnight. I dig into the research notes around common triggers and reported differences, then zoom out to the bigger relationship questions: when does the ick signal a real red flag like narcissism, misogyny, or chronic embarrassment, and when is it just normal human annoyance that you can talk through? We also get into attachment styles, especially avoidant attachment, and how fear of rejection or abandonment can push your brain to hunt for an exit. If you feel the ick over and over, it might be time to look at patterns, not just partners. On the sensory side, we cover misophonia and misokinesia, plus the brain and evolution angle around pair bonding and why our minds “pattern match” behaviors to stored negative associations. You’ll leave with practical dating advice: slow down, communicate clearly, re-evaluate honestly, and decide whether you’re protecting yourself or trapping yourself in perfection. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s dating, and leave a review. What’s the most surprising ick you’ve ever had? Source material - https://www.verywellmind.com/why-we-get-the-ick-according-to-therapists-7501527 https://www.georgetown.edu/news/ask-a-professor-the-neuroscience-of-the-ick/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  3. Aug 27

    Free Use Still Requires Boundaries And Safe Words | S5 EP142

    Send us Fan Mail Free use is one of the most misunderstood kink terms on the internet, and that confusion can lead to real harm. We sit down around the campfire and define free use in plain English: a consensual dynamic built on pre-arranged consent, clear rules, and the absolute right to stop. If someone tries to sell you “blanket consent” with no safeword, we call it what it is: a red flag. We also sort out the definitions people keep mixing together in BDSM and swinger spaces. Consensual non-consent (CNC) often includes a time-bound scene where resistance is part of the negotiated script. Free use, on the other hand, is more about ongoing availability and casual access within a shared agreement, usually private and context-specific. Then we zoom out to 24/7 and blanket consent as the consent architecture that makes either path ethical, including boundaries, hard limits, soft limits, and safeword protocols. From there, we get into the “why” behind it all: wanting to feel desired without having to ask, relief from decision fatigue, and the trust it takes to explore consensual erotic objectification without sliding into erasure. We also talk bystander consent and why public kink can be unethical even when the partners involved agree. If you want safer, clearer kink conversations and better language for what you actually want, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Source material - https://www.go3fun.co/poly-blog/what-is-a-free-use-kink/ https://www.theromancegenrespecialist.com/post/the-freeuse-romance-kink-explained 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  4. Aug 20

    How BDSM Roles Help You Connect Without Boxing You In | S5 EP141 (FLASHBACK EP)

    Send us Fan Mail Labels can feel like boxes until you realize they’re also doors. We get real about BDSM roles and kink labels like Dom, sub, switch, top, bottom, and “right side of the slash,” and why those words can make it easier to find compatible partners without pretending a profile tag tells the whole story. I’m opinionated here: if you’re using labels to make snap judgments, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re using them to start better conversations, you’re on the right track. We break down the difference between role play and an ongoing power dynamic, because those get mixed up constantly. Role play can be a character for a scene, while a dynamic can be a longer-term structure that depends on negotiation, boundaries, and clear consent. We also talk about how labels shift over time as you learn, try new things, and grow, and why expecting someone to stay the same forever is a setup for disappointment. Then we go straight at the biggest problem: assumptions. A label is not a standing invitation, not a contract, and not a mind reader. We argue for one simple habit that improves everything in kink and relationships: ask what it means to them. If you’ve ever felt seen by a word like demisexual, or found community through shared language, you’ll recognize how powerful the right terms can be when they’re used with respect. If this hits home, subscribe on your platform, share it with a friend who needs the “ask questions” reminder, and leave a review with stars so more curious people can find us. What label do you wish people would stop assuming things about? 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  5. Aug 13

    How Asexual People Navigate Orgies With Confidence | S5 EP140

    Send us Fan Mail You can be asexual and still love sex spaces. That’s not a contradiction, and we’re done pretending it is. We’re talking about sex-favorable asexuality and what it looks like when you genuinely enjoy the vibe of kink events, swingers spaces, and even orgy rooms while not feeling the same kind of primary sexual attraction that allosexual people assume is “the whole point.” We share real-world stories from hotel takeover style swinger environments, the difference in how people initiate in swingers culture versus kinky queer spaces, and why “I like how you look, but I don’t need to have sex” can short-circuit a lot of expectations. We also get honest about how fetishizing comments and pushy flirting miss the mark, and why a good conversation often matters more than any physical compliment. If you’ve ever felt out of place in sex-positive community spaces, this is your reminder that belonging isn’t earned through performance. From there we break down core ace spectrum language: sex-averse, sex-neutral, and sex-favorable, plus the crucial takeaway that asexuality does not equal absence of sexuality. We talk about libido vs desire, how the body can respond even when the mind isn’t chasing sex, and how partners can get hurt when they treat orgasm as validation. We end with practical tools for consent and communication: defining intimacy for yourself, naming non-negotiables, keeping a living yes no maybe list, and scheduling regular relationship check-ins so boundaries can evolve without drama. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a review so more ace and allosexual listeners can find the conversation. What part of the ace experience do you wish more people understood? Source material - https://weareher.com/sex-favorable-asexual-dating-guide/ https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/asexual-sex-positivity#moving-forward 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  6. Aug 6

    Reddit AITA For Kinky Relationships | S5 EP 139

    Send us Fan Mail Somebody on Reddit is always asking, “Am I the a*****e?” but the better question is usually: where did consent get replaced by pressure? I’m Julius, and I’m bringing three alternative relationship and sex questions to the campfire with zero sugarcoating and a lot of care for the people getting pushed past their limits. First up, we dig into a messy polyamory moment with a nesting partner and a friends with benefits. If you bought sex toys and kink gear to explore together, then hit a rough patch and took a break, what happens when your partner wants to use that gear with someone else, especially when you never used it together? We talk ownership, emotional meaning, the “gift” reality, and what you can actually do that is a true boundary instead of a rule. Next, we tackle the classic “you did it with your ex” argument, including sexual history interrogation, jealousy, and the kind of guilt that turns a relationship into a negotiation you never agreed to. I break down why “no” is a complete answer, why boundaries are personal, and why moodiness and love bombing are not the price of admission for dating someone inexperienced. We close with a question that should not be controversial: is asking for more foreplay before intercourse somehow wrong? We talk arousal, comfort, mutual pleasure, and the bigger relationship problem behind partners who shut down when you ask for what you need. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a backbone boost, and leave a review with the strongest boundary you’ve ever had to defend. Source material - https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1pp1k6c/aita_for_feeling_uncomfortable_if_my_np_uses_sex/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AITApod/comments/1rl2ht1/aita_for_not_doing_freaky_things_ive_done_before/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1nwgye2/aita_for_asking_for_more_foreplay_before/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  7. Jul 30

    A 2026 Self-Review On Relationships And Creative Work | S5 EP138

    Send us Fan Mail Half the year is gone, and I’m not letting 2026 blur by on autopilot. Around the Kinky Campfire turns into a midyear self-review where I lay out my real do’s and don’ts, the habits I’m retiring, and the goals I’m doubling down on. It’s honest, a little chaotic, and way more useful than a polished highlight reel. I talk about relationships and the uncomfortable truth that some “messing with your partner” behavior can cross into emotional harm, even when you think it’s playful. I own the stuff I used to normalize, why a partner should feel like a safe space, and what it looks like to unlearn low-key abusive tactics that can hide inside culture and routine. If you care about communication, consent, and emotional safety in kink, BDSM, polyamory, or any relationship, this is the kind of reflection that actually changes outcomes. Then we shift into the creator life: improv as communication training, hosting as a real passion, and the first time I got paid to host bingo. I also get real about money pressure, gas costs, burnout, overcommitting, and feeding the social media algorithm with shorts just to stay visible. That leads into a bigger question about fulfillment, motivation, and sleep: if you’re not doing what feeds your soul, your body notices. I close with my ongoing beef with tech career certifications and test anxiety, plus a genuine ask: would you want me to stream live, take questions, and eventually teach more kink education through webinars and classes? Subscribe for Thursday audio and Friday video, share this with a friend who needs a midyear reset, and leave a review so more kampsters can find the show. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  8. Jul 23

    Naughty Nawlins' Swingers Convention 2026 Recap | S5 EP137

    Send us Fan Mail Bourbon Street is loud, hot, and chaotic, so it’s the perfect backdrop for one of the biggest swingers conventions in the country. I’m back from Naughty Nollins with a fresh, boots-on-the-ground recap from my first time in New Orleans and my first ever swingers convention and I’m not sugarcoating the logistics, the surprises, or the stuff I’d do differently next year.  I went as part of the Smut Lovers crew, juggling vending, volunteering, and trying to stay socially functional on very limited energy. I talk about what the event actually looks like from the inside: badge-only hotel access, couples-heavy crowds, “vanilla” speed dating that isn’t exactly vanilla, naked speed dating that gets even stranger, and the unexpectedly practical necklace station where people make name tags that list what they’re into. I also share what it’s like working the play spaces, including the infamous orgy room setup, cleanup, and the constant flow of people cycling through themed rooms.  You’ll also hear how the convention spreads across multiple hotels, why the shuttle matters, and how the kink side shows up with a real dungeon and meetups that hint at a growing overlap between swingers culture, kink community spaces, and poly relationship styles. I wrap with my best first-timer tips for Naughty Nollins and any New Orleans swingers event: arrive early for pre-con networking, plan for the heat, protect your downtime, and advocate for better maps if you’re vending.  If this helped you picture what a swingers convention is really like, subscribe, share the show with a curious friend, and leave a review so more people can find Around the Kinky Kampfire. What would you want to know before going to a convention like this? https://www.naughty-events.com/cover-naughty-nawlins 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

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About

Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

Information

  • Creator
    Julius Marques
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    142
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
  • Show Website
    Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast