Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

Julius Marques
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Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

  1. 2d ago

    How BDSM Roles Help You Connect Without Boxing You In | S5 EP141 (FLASHBACK EP)

    Send us Fan Mail Labels can feel like boxes until you realize they’re also doors. We get real about BDSM roles and kink labels like Dom, sub, switch, top, bottom, and “right side of the slash,” and why those words can make it easier to find compatible partners without pretending a profile tag tells the whole story. I’m opinionated here: if you’re using labels to make snap judgments, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re using them to start better conversations, you’re on the right track. We break down the difference between role play and an ongoing power dynamic, because those get mixed up constantly. Role play can be a character for a scene, while a dynamic can be a longer-term structure that depends on negotiation, boundaries, and clear consent. We also talk about how labels shift over time as you learn, try new things, and grow, and why expecting someone to stay the same forever is a setup for disappointment. Then we go straight at the biggest problem: assumptions. A label is not a standing invitation, not a contract, and not a mind reader. We argue for one simple habit that improves everything in kink and relationships: ask what it means to them. If you’ve ever felt seen by a word like demisexual, or found community through shared language, you’ll recognize how powerful the right terms can be when they’re used with respect. If this hits home, subscribe on your platform, share it with a friend who needs the “ask questions” reminder, and leave a review with stars so more curious people can find us. What label do you wish people would stop assuming things about? 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  2. Aug 13

    How Asexual People Navigate Orgies With Confidence | S5 EP140

    Send us Fan Mail You can be asexual and still love sex spaces. That’s not a contradiction, and we’re done pretending it is. We’re talking about sex-favorable asexuality and what it looks like when you genuinely enjoy the vibe of kink events, swingers spaces, and even orgy rooms while not feeling the same kind of primary sexual attraction that allosexual people assume is “the whole point.” We share real-world stories from hotel takeover style swinger environments, the difference in how people initiate in swingers culture versus kinky queer spaces, and why “I like how you look, but I don’t need to have sex” can short-circuit a lot of expectations. We also get honest about how fetishizing comments and pushy flirting miss the mark, and why a good conversation often matters more than any physical compliment. If you’ve ever felt out of place in sex-positive community spaces, this is your reminder that belonging isn’t earned through performance. From there we break down core ace spectrum language: sex-averse, sex-neutral, and sex-favorable, plus the crucial takeaway that asexuality does not equal absence of sexuality. We talk about libido vs desire, how the body can respond even when the mind isn’t chasing sex, and how partners can get hurt when they treat orgasm as validation. We end with practical tools for consent and communication: defining intimacy for yourself, naming non-negotiables, keeping a living yes no maybe list, and scheduling regular relationship check-ins so boundaries can evolve without drama. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a review so more ace and allosexual listeners can find the conversation. What part of the ace experience do you wish more people understood? Source material - https://weareher.com/sex-favorable-asexual-dating-guide/ https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/asexual-sex-positivity#moving-forward 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  3. Aug 6

    Reddit AITA For Kinky Relationships | S5 EP 139

    Send us Fan Mail Somebody on Reddit is always asking, “Am I the a*****e?” but the better question is usually: where did consent get replaced by pressure? I’m Julius, and I’m bringing three alternative relationship and sex questions to the campfire with zero sugarcoating and a lot of care for the people getting pushed past their limits. First up, we dig into a messy polyamory moment with a nesting partner and a friends with benefits. If you bought sex toys and kink gear to explore together, then hit a rough patch and took a break, what happens when your partner wants to use that gear with someone else, especially when you never used it together? We talk ownership, emotional meaning, the “gift” reality, and what you can actually do that is a true boundary instead of a rule. Next, we tackle the classic “you did it with your ex” argument, including sexual history interrogation, jealousy, and the kind of guilt that turns a relationship into a negotiation you never agreed to. I break down why “no” is a complete answer, why boundaries are personal, and why moodiness and love bombing are not the price of admission for dating someone inexperienced. We close with a question that should not be controversial: is asking for more foreplay before intercourse somehow wrong? We talk arousal, comfort, mutual pleasure, and the bigger relationship problem behind partners who shut down when you ask for what you need. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a backbone boost, and leave a review with the strongest boundary you’ve ever had to defend. Source material - https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1pp1k6c/aita_for_feeling_uncomfortable_if_my_np_uses_sex/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AITApod/comments/1rl2ht1/aita_for_not_doing_freaky_things_ive_done_before/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1nwgye2/aita_for_asking_for_more_foreplay_before/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  4. Jul 30

    A 2026 Self-Review On Relationships And Creative Work | S5 EP138

    Send us Fan Mail Half the year is gone, and I’m not letting 2026 blur by on autopilot. Around the Kinky Campfire turns into a midyear self-review where I lay out my real do’s and don’ts, the habits I’m retiring, and the goals I’m doubling down on. It’s honest, a little chaotic, and way more useful than a polished highlight reel. I talk about relationships and the uncomfortable truth that some “messing with your partner” behavior can cross into emotional harm, even when you think it’s playful. I own the stuff I used to normalize, why a partner should feel like a safe space, and what it looks like to unlearn low-key abusive tactics that can hide inside culture and routine. If you care about communication, consent, and emotional safety in kink, BDSM, polyamory, or any relationship, this is the kind of reflection that actually changes outcomes. Then we shift into the creator life: improv as communication training, hosting as a real passion, and the first time I got paid to host bingo. I also get real about money pressure, gas costs, burnout, overcommitting, and feeding the social media algorithm with shorts just to stay visible. That leads into a bigger question about fulfillment, motivation, and sleep: if you’re not doing what feeds your soul, your body notices. I close with my ongoing beef with tech career certifications and test anxiety, plus a genuine ask: would you want me to stream live, take questions, and eventually teach more kink education through webinars and classes? Subscribe for Thursday audio and Friday video, share this with a friend who needs a midyear reset, and leave a review so more kampsters can find the show. 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  5. Jul 23

    Naughty Nawlins' Swingers Convention 2026 Recap | S5 EP137

    Send us Fan Mail Bourbon Street is loud, hot, and chaotic, so it’s the perfect backdrop for one of the biggest swingers conventions in the country. I’m back from Naughty Nollins with a fresh, boots-on-the-ground recap from my first time in New Orleans and my first ever swingers convention and I’m not sugarcoating the logistics, the surprises, or the stuff I’d do differently next year.  I went as part of the Smut Lovers crew, juggling vending, volunteering, and trying to stay socially functional on very limited energy. I talk about what the event actually looks like from the inside: badge-only hotel access, couples-heavy crowds, “vanilla” speed dating that isn’t exactly vanilla, naked speed dating that gets even stranger, and the unexpectedly practical necklace station where people make name tags that list what they’re into. I also share what it’s like working the play spaces, including the infamous orgy room setup, cleanup, and the constant flow of people cycling through themed rooms.  You’ll also hear how the convention spreads across multiple hotels, why the shuttle matters, and how the kink side shows up with a real dungeon and meetups that hint at a growing overlap between swingers culture, kink community spaces, and poly relationship styles. I wrap with my best first-timer tips for Naughty Nollins and any New Orleans swingers event: arrive early for pre-con networking, plan for the heat, protect your downtime, and advocate for better maps if you’re vending.  If this helped you picture what a swingers convention is really like, subscribe, share the show with a curious friend, and leave a review so more people can find Around the Kinky Kampfire. What would you want to know before going to a convention like this? https://www.naughty-events.com/cover-naughty-nawlins 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  6. Jul 16

    New Relationship Energy Fades And That Is Normal | S5 EP136 (FLASHBACK EP)

    Send us Fan Mail FLASHBACK EPISODE 4/11/24 We open with a ridiculous little “negotiation minute” over snacks and ASMR rules, and it turns into a surprisingly useful example of how boundaries actually get made in real time. From there, we dive into a rant that hits a nerve: why so many people grow up without any clear roadmap for relationship stages, then get judged for struggling when the honeymoon phase ends. We use language from Polywise and talk through symbiosis (New Relationship Energy) and differentiation, where the things you don’t share stop being cute and start demanding honest renegotiation. We connect those relationship phases to kink, BDSM, and D/s dynamics because the pattern shows up fast when people hit that early frenzy, make big promises, and then discover a real mismatch in needs or limits. We also get into why definitions matter, how terms like SSC, RACK, and PRICK keep evolving, and why “being an educator” should come with the responsibility to explain concepts clearly. If you take classes, follow creators, or date in the scene, we share our best advice: vet your educators the same way you’d vet a play partner. Then we go full chaos with FetLife’s ever-growing list of roles, talk solo bondage safety (timers, ice locks, exit plans), detour into bodily autonomy and politics, and close with a high-engagement rating game that reveals what we actually can’t live with in a partner. If you like candid banter with practical takeaways on negotiation, consent, relationship communication, and kink education, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave us a review. What phase do you think you’re in right now? 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  7. Jul 9

    The Biggest Dating Shifts Of 2026 So Far | S5 EP135

    Send us Fan Mail Dating in 2026 has a vibe, and it’s equal parts hopeful, messy, and chronically online. We’re halfway through the year, so I’m taking a lighthearted but honest look at the dating trends popping up everywhere and giving you my real commentary on what actually helps you build connection. We get into political deal breakers and why people treat them like instant character tests, plus how I’d rather ask “why” than slam a door without context. Then we talk about therapy lingo in dating culture: boundaries, narcissism, trauma bonding, and all the ways good mental health language gets turned into lazy labels. I’m all for emotional growth, but I’m not here for people throwing around diagnoses like they’re horoscope signs. From there, we hit the practical trends: being more direct about what you want, micro dating with short coffee meetups, and the friend group chat effect on who you date. I also dig into dating app fatigue, why swiping feels like 95% nonsense, and why “apps are obsolete” might be true for some people, but only if you’re willing to actually talk to humans in real life. Finally, we roast the worst of the bunch: “Shreking” and “throning,” where dating turns into a status game and clout chase. If any of these trends have you nodding or rage-laughing, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review. Which dating trend do you think is the most damaging right now? Source material - https://inclubmagazine.com/2026-dating-trends/ https://www.ebony.com/summer-dating-trends-2026/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

  8. Jul 2

    Your Nervous System Was Built For Lions | S5 EP134

    Send us Fan Mail Your heart races before a difficult talk, you overthink a text, you walk into a crowd and your whole body scans for threats and then you shame yourself for being “ridiculous.” That combo is exactly what we’re unpacking: the shame of small fears, and why it can quietly run your relationships, your confidence, and your daily peace.  We dig into the stress state many of us live in, from fight or flight to freeze and fawn, and how hypervigilance can make normal public life feel tense even when you’re objectively safe. I talk through the popular “lizard brain” idea as a practical tool for understanding why emotions and survival instincts hit fast while logic shows up late, and why that mismatch can make you feel like you’re always bracing for a bear when it’s really just someone looking at you sideways.  We also name the outside forces that poke that reactive wiring: nonstop news cycles, attention-grabbing marketing, and social pressure that keeps your nervous system on high alert. Then we land on what actually helps: self-compassion, dropping the self-ridicule, and practicing modern bravery, the quieter kind that looks like honesty, boundaries, saying no, and doing the hard thing even while your stomach drops.  If any of this hits close, subscribe so you don’t miss the next one, share it with someone who’s stuck in a shame spiral, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What “small fear” has been feeling huge for you lately? Source material - https://chriswillx.com/3-minute-monday-shame-men-breast-enhancement/ Pod ep- https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oG2jVfIwpDPVuqkhoRFHL 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

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About

Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

Information

  • Creator
    Julius Marques
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    139
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
  • Show Website
    Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

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