Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

Julius Marques
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Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

  1. 4D AGO

    Karmic To Catalyst: A Clear Guide To Partner Types | S4 EP123

    Send us Fan Mail Chemistry can feel like destiny right up until it starts costing you sleep, self-respect, and sanity. I’m Julius Marques, and by the campfire I’m breaking down six partner types that show up everywhere in dating, kink, queer community, and non-monogamy: karmic, narcissistic, parasitic, twin flame, soulmate, and catalyst. These labels are not meant to trap you. They’re meant to give you language for the patterns you keep living. We start with a simple, brutally honest question: how did I end up here with this person, and why did they choose me? From there, I challenge the “falling in love” myth and talk about how we actually choose partners based on timing, history, and what our nervous system thinks is normal. Then we get into the spicy part: karmic bonds that feel electric but run on a push pull high, narcissistic dynamics that mirror you and then gaslight you, and parasitic connections where you become the therapist and burn out. After that, we talk twin flames as an obsession mirror that exposes your shadow self, plus how kink “newbie frenzy” can turn intensity into a shortcut around consent, negotiation, and boundaries. We close with the good news: soulmate energy that feels calm and safe, and catalyst relationships that blow up bad habits so you can finally grow into the partner you keep hoping to meet. If this hits a nerve, it’s supposed to. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs better patterns, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What relationship type have you experienced most? For reference - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXU-0oRoSDQ&t=120s 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    26 min

  2. APR 2

    What If Your “Type” Is A Trauma Loop | Relationship Types walk-through | S4 EP122

    Send us Fan Mail Chemistry can feel like destiny right up until it starts wrecking your sleep, your self-trust, and your boundaries. So I’m sitting down by the Kinky Campfire to break a big idea into something you can actually use: relationship types, and how they show up in real life when you’re kinky, queer, dating on apps, or building non-monogamous relationships with actual humans and actual feelings.  I walk through six patterns: karmic, narcissistic, parasitic, twin flame, soulmate, and catalyst. We talk about the rush of “instant electricity” and why it can turn into a push-pull roller coaster. We get into manipulation and gaslighting in narcissistic bonds, the savior-complex burnout of parasitic bonds, and the twin flame vibe that can trigger shadow work and make intensity feel like the only proof something is real. If you’ve ever confused emotional edge play for intimacy, this conversation will hit.  Then we climb back toward the healthier side: soulmate energy that feels calm, safe, and grounded, plus catalyst relationships that flip the table, break old rules, and wake you up to your own growth. The through-line is consent, boundaries, and self-awareness, because the love you chase is often the love you have not practiced giving yourself yet.  Subscribe for new episodes, share this with a friend who keeps choosing chaos, and leave a review so more people in the kink, BDSM, polyamory, and alternative relationship world can find us. What relationship type have you lived through most? For reference - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV_FajfjJls&t=769s 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    29 min

  3. MAR 26

    "This Is Water" by David Foster Wallace | S4 EP121

    Send us Fan Mail The most life changing truths are usually the ones hiding in plain sight, like water to a fish. We pick up David Foster Wallace’s “This Is Water” and use it to name the default setting so many of us live inside: autopilot thinking, reflexive self centeredness, and the quiet belief that our view is the only view that really matters. We connect Wallace’s ideas to everyday mindset struggles: why you feel stuck, why you keep replaying the same reactions, and why confirmation bias can make your world feel smaller over time. We also talk about the fantasy that we can read people’s minds, how that wrecks empathy, and what it looks like to practice real attention and awareness instead. The goal isn’t moral perfection or some big religious answer, it’s learning to choose meaning on purpose and to care about other people with discipline rather than vibes. If you’ve ever had a “something is off” moment and started digging into psychology, self help, or identity discovery, this conversation will feel familiar. We even tie it back to relationship growth, including relationship anarchy, kink friendly communities, and the broader work of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable so you can try new frameworks without losing yourself. If this hits, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s stuck on autopilot, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s the “water” you’re swimming in right now? Source link - https://bulletin-archive.kenyon.edu/x4280.html 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    20 min

  4. MAR 19

    Unteachable Lessons From Chris Williams | S4 EP120

    Send us Fan Mail You already know the advice. You’ve heard it from parents, friends, books, and a thousand quotes. So why does it still take a burned hand to stop touching the hot stove? We dig into “unteachable lessons” the truths that make perfect sense on paper but don’t become real until life makes you pay attention. We walk through the classic traps: believing money will finally make you happy, hoping fame will fix self-worth, working too much, worrying instead of acting, and assuming you’re the rare exception to rules that humble everyone else. Then we bring it home with relationships: breakups that hurt every time, the relief that comes later, and the practical shift from “love as a feeling” to love as an action you prove through habits, communication, and consistent effort. We also get blunt about boundaries and why cutting toxic people out is sometimes the only way forward. From there, we talk skill-building the unglamorous way: practicing social skills, building rejection tolerance, and trying things before you feel ready. A quick neuroscience angle ties it together why emotional experience creates stronger learning than pure logic, and why personal growth and self-improvement can’t be rushed on a deadline. If you’ve been stuck in rumination or waiting to feel confident first, hit play, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review. What’s the one lesson you had to learn the hard way? Source link - https://thefairhawk.substack.com/p/unteachable-lessons?utm_medium=web 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    33 min

  5. MAR 12

    Chalant Dating, Explained | S4 EP119

    Send us Fan Mail Tired of guessing games and six-hour reply gaps? We’re tossing nonchalant dating in the bin and making a passionate case for chalant dating: visible effort, real plans, and vulnerability that actually moves relationships forward. Julius gets candid about how “acting cool” cost him promising connections in the past, then lays out a grounded, repeatable approach to show care without overdoing it. If you’ve ever wondered how to balance enthusiasm with boundaries, or how to make casual dating intentional, this one’s for you. We start by naming the problem: indifference isn’t attractive, it’s uncertain. From there, we break chalant dating into clear habits anyone can try today. Logistics beat lip service—offer a specific time, place, and a plan B instead of “let me know.” Listening is magnetic—reference details your date mentioned and turn them into thoughtful choices. Rejection still stings, but it’s not a verdict on your worth; it’s data that helps you find fit faster. And yes, vulnerability is the flex: showing interest openly creates the safety and momentum that keep two people coming back. We also unpack a cultural shift our feeds and apps reflect: emotional availability, consistency, and respect now rank higher than income for many daters. As independence rises, so does the desire for partners who follow through. That means both people plan, both people check in, and both people invest in the small behaviors that build trust. Whether your rhythm is weekly dates or long intervals, you can keep enthusiasm alive with steady communication, negotiated expectations, and care that’s easy to feel. If you’re ready to replace mixed signals with meaningful signals, to make plans that stick, and to love out loud without losing yourself, press play. Then tell us your best “effort over income” story, share how you’ve made logistics a love language, and drop a review so more folks can find the show. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the nudge, and let’s make chalant the norm. Reference link - https://www.cosmopolitan.com/relationships/a69033235/chalance-tiktok-dating/ 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    23 min

  6. MAR 5

    Understanding OCEAN: The Only Personality Model Backed By Science | S4 EP118

    Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder why some quizzes feel fun but never help you change? We go straight to the Big Five—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—and show how a scientific model can actually guide daily choices. No mystery types, no horoscope vibes. Just clear spectrums, real examples, and habits that transform insight into action. We start by decoding each trait in plain language and with sample items you might see on a test. Openness becomes a question of how you invite novelty; Conscientiousness becomes the engine that ships your plans; Extraversion becomes a battery you can manage; Agreeableness becomes the balance between empathy and truth; Neuroticism becomes the skill of regulating reactivity. Instead of boxing people in, we talk about building skills that let you flex—so a high-strung day doesn’t own you and a messy week doesn’t derail your goals. You’ll hear how to design small experiments for each dial: micro-adventures to stretch Openness without chaos, three-bullet planning to boost Conscientiousness, energy tracking to set smart social boundaries, “friendly frictions” to protect both candor and care, and fast regulation tools to lower stress spikes. We also touch the research roots—why OCEAN is widely validated across cultures and why replication matters—so you can trust the framework while keeping your agency. Take a Big Five assessment, map your highs and lows, and then try one micro-habit per trait for two weeks. Share your results with us and compare notes with a friend or partner. If this helped you see yourself more clearly, follow the show, leave a rating, and send this to someone who loves a good self-improvement tool. Your next breakthrough might be one tiny habit away. 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    29 min

  7. FEB 26

    You Said “Kind,” Your Brain Said “Hot” | Stated vs Revealed Preferences | S4 EP117

    Send us Fan Mail Ever notice how your carefully crafted “ideal partner” list evaporates the second someone magnetic walks into the room? We dive into the gap between what we say we want—kindness, intelligence, emotional steadiness—and what our choices reveal when chemistry, scent, and spark take the lead. Guided by speed dating research, classic behavioral economics, and lived experience, we map out how dopamine, pheromones, and high-arousal settings push us toward fast, visceral picks. We break down social desirability bias—why our stated preferences skew toward traits that sound good—and show how context and peer pressure shape who we actually pursue. From the Mike Tyson truth of getting “punched in the face” by attraction to the subtle pull of smelling right to each other, we connect the science to the moments that keep derailing our relationships. Then we get practical. We share ways to slow the funnel, give slow-burn matches a fair shot, and design guardrails that keep values from getting bulldozed by looks. You’ll learn how to use red tests instead of red flag lists, spot genuine repair skills, and separate halo effects from real compatibility. We even borrow from revealed preference theory to help you measure choices under real constraints, not just idealized lists. If you’re tired of burning out after the honeymoon phase or picking partners who look perfect until the first conflict, this conversation offers a clear path to align biology with long-term fit. Listen, reflect, and try the tools on your next date. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s stuck in a chemistry loop, and leave a quick review—what trait actually sways you first? Related link- https://grokipedia.com/page/Stated_and_Revealed_Preferences_in_Relationships 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    23 min

  8. FEB 19

    From Small Talk To Consent: Building Better Conversations In Kink And Beyond | S4 EP116

    Send us Fan Mail What if your next conversation actually moved something—clarity, trust, desire—instead of just filling the air? We take a practical, unflinching look at how to communicate with intention, especially where authority exchange, kink dynamics, and real‑world constraints collide. We start by trading the myth of “natural charisma” for craft. Using a simple conversational compass, we ask whether you’re aiming for information or relationship value before you speak, and how to guess your partner’s goals without slipping into mind‑reading. From there, we climb the topic pyramid with purpose—small talk to deep talk—while keeping curiosity alive through a two‑to‑one rhythm of questions to personal share. When energy dips, levity and vivid stories revive the room; when emotions rise, kindness aims your response at what the other person actually needs, not what proves you right. Consent threads through every move we make: voluntary, informed, ongoing, and always revocable. We unpack how that plays out in kink scenes, polycules, and vanilla relationships—where ideals meet logistics. Public play raises bystander boundaries; 24/7 fantasies meet jobs and families; stereotypes shape how scenes are perceived. We talk safety, etiquette, and the value of entering new spaces slowly, learning written and unwritten rules, and letting silence be a green flag instead of a gap to fear. Finally, we revisit needs and boundaries lists without shame, turning repeated friction into clear agreements that support hotter, safer connection. If you’re ready to stop guessing and start creating real value with your words—and your pauses—hit play. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: which maxim will you practice this week? 1/6/26 Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?  Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!  1/6/26 Support the show Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

    27 min
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About

Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety

Information

  • Creator
    Julius Marques
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    121
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
  • Show Website
    Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast