Building Better Relationships in Construction

Paul Schwinghammer
  • 5.0 (1)
  • MANAGEMENT

This podcast series provides actionable strategies for construction professionals to elevate their business by prioritizing strong relationships. Emphasizing trust, transparency, and genuine connection as the foundation for success, the book introduces the "Relationship Bank Account," a framework for understanding how interactions build or erode goodwill. Based on the book: Building Better Relationships, a Guide to Enhancing the Customer Experience for Home Builders, Remodelers, and Construction Managers by Paul Schwinghammer

  1. 2D AGO

    How to Fire a Subcontractor and Maintain Respect

    Episode 15 of Building Better Relationships in Construction covers Chapter 15 of Paul Schwinghammer’s book: “How to Fire a Subcontractor and Maintain Respect.” The hosts outline Paul’s “Fire, Then Affirm” approach: be direct about the decision, cite documented performance or fit issues, then genuinely affirm at least one positive trait. Deliver the conversation privately, calmly, and succinctly; avoid insincerity; provide written follow-up outlining next steps, final dates, and payments. Document issues and attempts to remedy them to reduce legal and reputational risk. Handling firings with dignity preserves relationships, protects your brand, attracts better partners, and models fair culture for your team. Practical tips: plan your script, stay factual, and offer appropriate transition help or references.

    9 min

  2. FEB 18

    Write it Down!

    Episode 14 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” focuses on the deceptively simple habit of “Write It Down.” Alex and Sabrina explain that visible, consistent documentation—during meetings, walkthroughs, and phone calls—is a powerful deposit into the relationship bank account. When clients see you pause and say, “Let me write that down so I don’t miss it,” it signals active listening, respect, and professionalism.   The hosts highlight that documentation protects everyone: it prevents forgotten promises, reduces “he‑said‑she‑said” disputes, and lets you respond calmly and factually when issues arise. They stress sharing what you’re writing, reading it back for confirmation, and tying notes to photos, sketches, and project software so items become clear action steps rather than vague reminders.   Practical tips include: record concerns immediately, say out loud when you’re taking notes, confirm details at follow‑up, use systematic tools, and make documentation a non‑negotiable team habit—paired with signed change orders even when there’s no charge. Done consistently, these small behaviors lower client anxiety, reduce rework, and quietly build a reputation for care and reliability that drives referrals.

    11 min

  3. FEB 12

    Getting Credit for a Mistake

    Episode 13 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” explores the concept of “Getting Credit for a Mistake.” Alex and Sabrina explain that this isn’t about celebrating errors, but about earning trust by owning them. Using a carpet transition example, they walk through the four-step approach: respond promptly and appreciatively (“Thanks for bringing this to my attention”), investigate and reference the construction agreement, explain scope boundaries calmly, then offer a clear remedy via a no‑charge change order “for our records.” Tone and brevity matter—short, factual, empathetic responses build credibility, while long defenses sound like excuses. They emphasize documenting even free fixes, using simple scripts, and sometimes absorbing costs strategically to preserve relationships. The hosts note that clients remember how problems were handled more than flawless performance, and that transparent ownership strengthens both client trust and subcontractor partnerships. Practical tips include quickly recording verbal requests, streamlining change orders, training teams in these scripts, and proactively catching unresolved verbal changes before closeout.

    9 min

  4. FEB 4

    Responding When Attacked – The Power of Disarming

    Episode 12 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” unpacks the concept of “disarming” when you feel attacked. Alex and Sabrina explain that in high‑stress construction settings, the instinct is to argue, justify, or shut down when a client, sub, or supplier lashes out. Paul proposes a smarter path: emotionally disarm by staying calm, curious, and looking for a kernel of truth beneath the harsh words.   They walk through four steps: (1) listen fully without preparing a rebuttal, (2) acknowledge feelings with simple validation (“I understand you’re frustrated”), (3) take responsibility where it’s genuinely warranted (“You’re right, we could have communicated that better”), and (4) invite more detail so you can solve the real issue. Throughout, they emphasize that disarming isn’t surrender or letting people walk over you—it’s tactical de‑escalation that preserves both standards and relationships.   Real‑world examples show how this approach shifts conversations from blame to collaboration with subs, suppliers, and homeowners. The hosts stress practice, boundaries with truly abusive behavior, and the leadership impact of modeling calm responses. Done consistently, disarming turns attacks into trust‑building opportunities and long‑term goodwill.

    9 min

  5. JAN 28

    Apologizing for Withdrawals—A Key to Maintaining Trust

    Episode 11 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” explores how apologies can repair “withdrawals” from the relationship bank account. Using Paul Schwinghammer’s framework, Alex and Sabrina explain that withdrawals are disappointments—delays, miscommunications, oversights—while apologies, when done right, become deposits that restore trust. They stress that apologies are not about admitting legal fault but about acknowledging impact: validating the client’s feelings, saying “I’m sorry” plainly (without “but” or “if”), and stating what you’ll do next. Examples include apologizing when messages don’t reach clients or when deadlines are missed, and separating empathy (“I’m sorry this caused concern”) from technical admissions. Timing, sincerity, and follow‑through are critical, as is documenting corrective action. Over time, consistent, appropriate apologies create a culture of honesty and respect, making relationships more resilient. The episode closes with a role play and practical tips for training teams so apologizing becomes a normal, strategic part of company behavior.

    7 min

  6. JAN 21

    Creating Space When Clients Go Off The Deep End

    Episode 10 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” explores how to handle clients who “go off the deep end.” Drawing from Paul Schwinghammer’s book, Alex and Sabrina explain that when a client is highly emotional, logic and explanations only escalate things. Instead, builders should “create space”: pause, acknowledge the client’s feelings without arguing, and calmly say they’ll step away, make calls, and explore options. The hosts stress that follow-through is crucial—circling back later with solutions turns a potential blow-up into a trust-building “deposit” in the relationship bank account.

    9 min

  7. JAN 14

    Thanking People for Their Criticism

    Episode 9, Thanking People for Their Criticism, centers on handling criticism to strengthen relationships in construction, based on Paul Schwinghammer’s book. Instinctive defensiveness erodes trust; the counterintuitive move is to sincerely thank the person who raised the issue. Genuine gratitude signals respect, confidence, and collaboration, turning tense moments into “relationship bank account” deposits. Practical guidance: deliver a heartfelt thank-you; acknowledge the emotion behind the concern (“I understand why that’s frustrating”); ask clarifying questions to practice active listening; and, most importantly, follow through with visible action. Framing feedback as shared problem-solving disarms conflict, encourages early honesty from clients and trades, and builds a healthier jobsite culture. Consistent, sincere responses during inevitable mistakes, delays, or quality concerns convert negatives into trust-building opportunities and reinforce a reputation for humility and continuous improvement.

    8 min

  8. JAN 7

    Gift Wrapping the Situation

    Episode 8 explores Paul Schwinghammer’s “Gift Wrapping the Situation,” a simple communication technique for elevating client experience in construction. Instead of silently fixing issues or completing extras, teams should humbly tell clients what was done and who did it—e.g., noting an electrician kindly moved a mislocated outlet. This isn’t boasting; it highlights teamwork, transparency, and proactive care. Two benefits follow: it publicly credits contributors, encouraging pride and repeat excellence, and it subtly assures clients that the project manager heard concerns and is orchestrating solutions. These small “gift-wrapped” moments become deposits in the relationship bank account, creating an emotional cushion for inevitable setbacks, delays, or tough change-order conversations. Practical tips: weave acknowledgments into regular updates, recognize teams publicly, frame messages around accomplishments and solutions (not blame), and use quick photos or videos to show progress.

    10 min
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About

This podcast series provides actionable strategies for construction professionals to elevate their business by prioritizing strong relationships. Emphasizing trust, transparency, and genuine connection as the foundation for success, the book introduces the "Relationship Bank Account," a framework for understanding how interactions build or erode goodwill. Based on the book: Building Better Relationships, a Guide to Enhancing the Customer Experience for Home Builders, Remodelers, and Construction Managers by Paul Schwinghammer

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