Now That You See It

Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Management

Kim Paull and Pancho Gomez are two curious, opinionated friends who love nothing more than to change their own minds. Now That You See It is a podcast about the moments when a belief shifts — and what's possible once it does. Each episode, they dig into the ideas, biases, and assumptions that quietly run our lives — the ones so familiar we've stopped questioning them. Sometimes a guest joins. Sometimes it's just the two of them, thinking out loud together toward something neither of them expected. They cover the hidden operating system behind everyday stuff: why we judge others faster than ourselves, how our personalities might be inherited survival strategies, what actually makes change stick, why friendships get harder when we're grown. Conversations go long because that's when the big aha moments hit. If you've ever caught yourself wondering if anyone else saw that glitch in the matrix, you're in the right place.

  1. Oct 15

    The Things Managers Do to Help That Actually Hurt

    Good intentions don’t guarantee good leadership. In this shortisode, Kim and Pancho look at management behaviors that often feel helpful to the person doing them, who is clueless about the damage they're doing. Being nice instead of kind, protecting employees from too much reality, tolerating underperformance to preserve morale, overcorrecting or under-directing, avoiding a rocky relationship, and trying to motivate a team that’s already in crisis - all examples of real-world coaching scenarios we've coached leaders through. The common problem is that leaders can become so focused on reducing discomfort that they don't challenge their coworkers and direct reports to grow. Sometimes protecting someone creates fragility.Giving someone space could be interpreted as rejection.Enthusiasm and encouragement in a crisis further agitate people who need a calm person with a plan.This episode is an invitation to reconsider whether your intentions have the effect you intended. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Radical Candor — Kim ScottClear Is Kind. Unclear is Unkind — Brené BrownThe Golden Algorithm — Joe Hudson / The Art of Accomplishment

  2. Oct 8

    10 Coaching Questions We Ask All the Time

    A surprising amount of coaching involves asking a question that sounds almost annoyingly simple. What do you want to do with that?And what else?What do you think?Powerful questions don't need to be clever or elaborate. They just need to disrupt the status quo that keeps people stuck: storytelling, certainty, avoidance, outsourcing judgment, or getting so mired in the details that you lose sight of the bigger picture. In this shortisode, Kim and Pancho share the questions they find themselves using most often with coaching clients, from imagining a typical Tuesday in the life you’re trying to create to asking what you would have to feel if you couldn’t keep intellectualizing your way around it. We rarely need someone else to tell us what to do. Instead, we need a question that pushes us to take a new perspective and decide for ourselves. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources The Karpman Drama Triangle — Stephen Karpman10x Is Easier Than 2x — Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin HardyNoelle Cordeaux, CEO of Lumia CoachingJoe Hudson / The Art of Accomplishment

  3. Oct 1

    How We Ensure the Outcomes We're Avoiding

    Sometimes, usually without consciously realizing it, the behavior you use to cope with something you're trying to avoid ensures that exact outcome. Joe Hudson calls this the golden algorithm. We act in ways designed to prevent an unwanted outcome, and those same behaviors ensure it. Once you notice the pattern, it starts showing up everywhere. In this shortisode, Kim and Pancho trade examples from work, relationships, interviews, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and leadership. Trying not to look incompetent can keep you from asking the questions that would make you competent. Avoiding conflict can create resentment and a much bigger conflict later. Trying not to be socially awkward can make you so self-conscious that you become awkward. Pancho takes the same pattern into relationships: when you’re afraid of disappointing someone, withdrawing can feel safer than showing up imperfectly. But absence may be far more disappointing than whatever inadequacy you were trying to hide. The common thread is that avoidance distorts behavior. If you don’t want to keep creating the thing you fear, the better move may be to stop side-stepping the discomfort and start telling the truth. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources The Golden Algorithm — Joe HudsonKind vs. Nice — Brené Brown

  4. Sep 24

    Constraints Free You

    We think of constraints as an added challenge. They tie us down. We don't have enough time, money, energy, emotional bandwidth - you name it. They box us in. So Kim wanted to do a shortisode about how, sometimes, they liberate us. In this shortisode, Kim and Pancho explore why constraints can create freedom rather than diminish it. Pancho connects Jocko Willink’s “discipline equals freedom,” Barry Schwartz’s paradox of choice, Pete Davis’s work on commitment, and Daniel Gilbert’s research on reversible decisions to explain how keeping every possible option open can make it harder to fully lean into the life you’ve already chosen. Kim takes a more practical approach. Make the container absurdly small, make the goal absurdly big, work with what you already have, identify the one bottleneck that matters most, and sometimes just stop researching and decide. Ultimately, freedom isn’t keeping every possible option available to you. Sometimes it’s choosing the constraints you’re willing to live inside and going deep enough to make those choices meaningful. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Inside the Box — David EpsteinThe Paradox of Choice — Barry SchwartzDedicated — Pete DavisStumbling on Happiness — Daniel GilbertGrit — Angela Duckworth

  5. Sep 17

    Ignorance Is Not the Same as Malice with Wesley Warshawer

    When COVID made it possible for Wesley Warshawer to work remotely, he Googled the American city with the highest percentage of Trump voters, packed his bags in Silicon Valley, and moved there. His goal was simple: to gain a firsthand understanding of the people outside his political bubble. What he found was both surprising and reaffirming. Beneath the binary choices of American politics, people seemed to agree on far more than the cultural narrative would have us believe. People were kind and welcoming, even after they found out he was from The Bay. That experience was part of a much longer experiment in getting outside his bubble. Wesley has lived and traveled across India, South Korea, Latin America, Africa, and rural America, accumulating plenty of moments when he was the person who didn’t understand the rules. Wesley joins Kim and Pancho to talk about the distinction he can’t unsee: ignorance is not the same as malice. They get into cultural mistakes, political polarization, ridicule as entertainment, and how quickly disagreement can become a judgment about someone’s intelligence or character. Along the way, we discuss accidentally creeping out a Korean tutor, Pancho mistakenly announcing to a fourth-grade classroom that he was horny, the hazards of ordering peanuts in the wrong Spanish-speaking country, and why sometimes the best way to challenge your assumptions is simply to go somewhere you don’t quite know how to behave. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Being Wrong - Adventures in the Margin of Error, by Kathryn Schulz.Duverger’s Law - the political game theory in which a system tends toward two viable parties. It can help explain why a population with a broad range of views can still end up expressing itself through a binary political system.The Fulbright Program - Wesley discusses his Fulbright experience living in South Korea and India.Jordan Klepper and Jesse Watters. Wesley uses their man-on-the-street political segments as examples in his argument about ridicule becoming a form of political entertainment.

  6. Sep 10

    How to Cope With Capitalism - Shortisode pt. 1 of 2

    Capitalism gives you a number of convenient ways to measure whether your life is going well: salary, title, house, savings, status. If one isn't careful, it can become easy to confuse the metrics of success with the definition of success itself, losing sight of the bigger picture. In this shortisode, Kim and I talk about how to cope with capitalism without letting it swallow the rest of your life. Kim brings three ways to create a little more agency: redefine what “rich” means before the goalposts move again, treat your time and attention as currencies, and talk openly about things we’re often taught to keep private, including salaries, debt, career paths, and the rules governing the economy. When information stays hidden, shame and unequal power have more room to operate. My contribution comes from Patricia Linville’s self-complexity theory and the idea that a more multifaceted identity may be a more resilient one. If one enormous label titled “my job” carries the lion's share of your sense of self, losing that job can become an identity crisis instead of a difficult employment problem. Work can matter a lot without being responsible for answering the entire question, “Who am I?” None of this makes layoffs, money problems, work stress, or the systems shaping our lives disappear. It’s about finding the agency you do have inside those systems, deciding what enough means for you, and building an identity that’s difficult resillient in the face of career and financial setbacks. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Patricia Linville’s self-complexity theory: research on how having multiple distinct self-aspects can buffer the impact of setbacks in any one area of life.Identity as a “cloud of balloons”: the metaphor Pancho uses for thinking about identity as a collection of roles and self-aspects rather than one dominant label (https://www.becausewhy.net/journal/identity-is-just-a-cloud-of-balloons).

  7. Sep 5

    How Not to Cope With Capitalism - Shortisode pt. 1 of 2

    Capitalism is the water most of us are swimming in. Whether you love it, hate it, or have a complicated relationship with it, you still have to figure out how to live inside it. In part one of this two-part shortisode, we talk about some of the ways we think people cope with capitalism that don't actually help. Pancho starts with terror management theory and the temptation to use wealth as protection against something money can't solve: uncertainty. Kim brings an ABC framework for some other traps: absolutism, blaming yourself for problems that may be partly systemic, and the way consumerism quietly changes what we think we need. This isn't an argument that capitalism is good or bad, or that money doesn't matter. It's a conversation about noticing when the strategies we've developed to cope with capitalism start making our lives smaller instead of safer. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Terror Management Theory: the psychological theory Pancho uses to explore how awareness of mortality can shape our pursuit of wealth, status, and security.

  8. Aug 14

    The 200 Year Old Fight With Your Partner Over Dishes with Judy Hu

    Sometimes the fight over the dishes isn't really about the dishes. Judy Hu, licensed mental health counselor turned boundary coach and author of The Boundary Revolution, returns to explore how family history, culture, trauma, and the experiences of previous generations can show up in our relationships. Her work with couples starts with a simple question: when your reaction feels wildly disproportionate to what's happening, what else might you be reacting to? We talk about how Judy uses ancestry, somatic work, and family patterns to help couples understand why seemingly small conflicts can lead to seemingly disproportionate responses. She shares examples of partners whose reactions to each other make more sense when viewed in the context of their ancestry. We also get practical about how you can start investigating your own family patterns, why Judy asks couples to look beyond who's right and who's wrong, and how to right-size your response to seemingly small disagreements. Because sometimes your partner forgot to rinse the plate, but the fight you're having is about something that happened 200 years ago. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources The Boundary Revolution by Judy Hu Judy's book explores boundaries, relationships, cycle-breaking, and the broader cultural and historical systems that shape how we relate to one another.EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Judy discusses EMDR alongside somatic approaches as part of how she thinks about processing emotional responses rather than continually reenacting them in present relationships.Relational Life Therapy / Terry Real Judy references couples therapist Terry Real's work while discussing the shift from trying to win a conflict toward creating a relationship in which both people can stay connected.Family systems and intergenerational patterns A broader body of family therapy examines how roles, relationship patterns, beliefs, and unresolved conflicts can persist across generations, providing another lens for the family-tree work Judy describes.

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Kim Paull and Pancho Gomez are two curious, opinionated friends who love nothing more than to change their own minds. Now That You See It is a podcast about the moments when a belief shifts — and what's possible once it does. Each episode, they dig into the ideas, biases, and assumptions that quietly run our lives — the ones so familiar we've stopped questioning them. Sometimes a guest joins. Sometimes it's just the two of them, thinking out loud together toward something neither of them expected. They cover the hidden operating system behind everyday stuff: why we judge others faster than ourselves, how our personalities might be inherited survival strategies, what actually makes change stick, why friendships get harder when we're grown. Conversations go long because that's when the big aha moments hit. If you've ever caught yourself wondering if anyone else saw that glitch in the matrix, you're in the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    48
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
  • Show Website
    Now That You See It

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