The LOVE>hate Podcast

Melissa Etzler

How do we not just survive trauma, but redefine our lives afterward? The LOVE > hate Podcast is a trauma-informed space where survivors of assault and interpersonal violence can share their experiences and journey to healing and reclaiming their lives. Join us for deeply respectful conversations with survivors, advocates, experts, and more who transform devastating experiences into powerful purpose.

  1. 2d ago

    Carly's Story Part One

    In this deeply moving episode of the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Carly to discuss the nuanced realities of domestic abuse, survival, and the courage it takes to break free. Sharing her powerful story, Carly sheds light on a critical truth that many survivors face: the time you decide to leave an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous. Carly takes listeners through her personal journey, beginning with a seemingly stable marriage that quickly transformed into a terrifying situation involving substance addiction, severe control, stalking, and life-threatening escalation. She details the pivotal mindset shift that prompted her to start gathering evidence, the terrifying moments when her safety was compromised, and the complex legal battles that followed. This conversation tackles the harsh realities survivors navigate—from unsupportive family dynamics and victim-blaming to law enforcement intervention, restraining orders, and physical danger even after escaping. Beyond the trauma, Carly shares how she began breaking the cycle of abuse, processing grief, and choosing self-empowerment through forgiveness and support systems. Whether you are looking for hope, seeking to understand the psychological complexities of toxic relationships, or searching for domestic violence resources, this episode offers a profound look at human resilience and safety. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Carly's Story Part One

  2. Aug 11

    Jason's Story Part Two

    What does life look like after the survival mode ends and the silence sets in? In the powerful conclusion of our two-part conversation, host Melissa Etzler sits down with advocate and survivor Jason to discuss the long, profound journey of emotional healing, overcoming trauma, and breaking down the stigma surrounding male vulnerability. Picking up 16 years after escaping an abusive relationship, Jason opens up about the invisible scars left behind. He shares the raw reality of the post-trauma timeline, from spending an entire decade avoiding his own reflection in the mirror, to navigating the subconscious "fight or flight" mode that leaves your body tense long after the chaos has passed. Jason discusses how he broke through toxic societal expectations of masculinity to embrace his emotions, proving that crying isn't a sign of weakness, but a reminder that you are alive. Discover the simple, life-changing grounding techniques that helped Jason rebuild his self-worth and retrain his mindset. From practicing meditation and moving closer to the coast to feel the ocean breeze, to finding deep peace in nature through gardening and reclaiming irreplaceable time with his children, this episode serves as a practical roadmap for anyone looking to heal from generational or relational trauma. Jason's final words of encouragement offer a beautiful beacon of hope for anyone currently walking on eggshells: on the other side of the madness, there is beauty. Tune in to learn how to separate fact from fiction in your own mind, discover the therapeutic power of nature, and find out why learning to breathe freely again is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Jason's Story Part Two

  3. Aug 4

    Jason's Story Part One

    What happens when the person you are supposed to feel safest with becomes the source of your greatest fear? In part one of this deeply moving and courageous conversation, host Melissa Etzler sits down with survivor and advocate Jason to break the silence on a topic that is far too often left in the dark: male domestic abuse and men’s mental health. Jason opens up about the insidious nature of toxic relationships, using the powerful metaphor of a frog in boiling water to explain how subtle emotional, physical, and financial abuse can slowly take over a life. He shares the terrifying reality of navigating an abusive household while simultaneously battling severe brain lesions from a workplace carbon monoxide poisoning incident. From the agonizing moment his five-year-old son had to physically protect him, to the heartbreak of being turned away by traditional support systems and a battered women's shelter because of his gender, Jason’s story sheds light on the critical lack of domestic violence resources for men. Despite the isolation and a battle with a suicidal mindset, this episode captures the exact turning point where Jason reclaimed his life. You will hear about his incredible physical and emotional transformation, losing over 100 pounds, and the exact, cinematic moment at an Eric Clapton concert where a sudden Bob Marley connection signaled that he was finally, truly free. If you or a loved one are walking on eggshells at home, this episode is a powerful reminder that evil doesn't discriminate, resources need to change, and hope is always on the horizon. Tune in to hear how one father found the strength to survive for his children, and discover why love is always greater than hate. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Jason's Story Part One

  4. Jul 28

    Joelle's Story Part Two

    How do you break a toxic cycle for good and reclaim your personal sovereignty? In the conclusion of this powerful two-part series, host Melissa Etzler and Joelle dive deep into the profound evolution of self-healing. Picking up in 2018, the pivotal year Joelle chose radical singledom after escaping a second abusive relationship, this episode shifts the narrative from enduring trauma to mastering the medicine of the soul. Joelle shares her transformative ten-year journey of turning severe emotional scars into profound wisdom. As an expert guide, she explains why external safety can initially feel boring to a dysregulated nervous system and how true healing requires confronting childhood father and mother wounds. Melissa and Joelle discuss the vital importance of somatic connection, explaining how the body registers red flags long before the mind catches up. Joelle reveals the diverse alternative modalities that fueled her recovery, including breathwork, nervous system regulation, craniosacral therapy, Akashic record readings, and astrology. Now entering her second Saturn return, Joelle reflects on building her thriving business, Divinity Life Coaching, and authoring The Rebellious Soul. She offers invaluable insight into how we wear protective masks from childhood and how to safely unmask our authentic selves. This episode is an empowering roadmap for anyone feeling stuck, anxious, or trapped in repeating relationship patterns. Discover why the answers we crave are always found in the stillness, how to build rigid boundaries rooted in self-love, and what it truly means to become "the one" before looking for the one. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Joelle's Story Part Two

  5. Jul 21

    Joelle's Story Part One

    What happens when the person you swore to love becomes the catalyst for your deepest trauma? In this raw and deeply moving episode, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Joelle, a certified practitioner and nurse, to unpack her devastating experience surviving severe narcissistic abuse. Joelle pulls back the curtain on the subtle red flags she missed early on, exploring how childhood wounds and empathic natures frequently attract toxic partners. When Joelle attempted to reclaim her autonomy, her marriage devolved into a relentless, decade-long war zone. She shares the harrowing details of a high-stakes custody battle, being arrested nine times while fighting for her children’s well-being, and confronting a corrupt local court system where she ultimately had to fire her attorney and represent herself in a grueling three-day trial. From coping with a suicide attempt thirteen years ago to watching her children suffer generational scarring, Joelle speaks candidly about the immense shame and isolation that plague abuse survivors. But this isn’t just a story of victimization, it is a masterclass in primal maternal instinct and survival. Joelle details how she found the inner strength to anchor herself through autopilot warrior mode, protect her children from a failing system, and navigate the shattering realization that her post-divorce journey would lead her straight into another five-year toxic cycle. Tune in for a gripping, emotional look at the reality of systemic and domestic battlegrounds, the truth about relational trauma, and the fierce resilience required to survive the storm. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Joelle's Story Part One

  6. Jul 14

    Christine's Story Part Two

    Rebuilding your life after leaving a coercive environment is an everyday work in progress. In Part 2 of our feature interview, Christine Dillard opens up about the daunting reality of reclaiming her autonomy. After 17 years of a controlled marriage, she realized she didn't even know what she liked to eat for dinner, let alone what her hobbies were. Christine explains her unique approach to rebuilding: starting with a list of what she didn't like to narrow down who she truly was. As her identity evolved, so did her commitment to healing. Christine shares how somatic therapy, massage, and Reiki energy work allowed her body to safely release decades of stored trauma and grief without the pressure of clinical questioning. This somatic release eventually gave her the strength to compile her experiences into an immersive, seven-movement book designed to meet survivors exactly where they are—whether they are currently living in abuse, actively planning their exit, or working through life after the relationship. The episode takes an incredibly powerful turn as host Melissa Etzler connects deeply with Christine's message, sharing her own raw experiences with trauma, overcoming severe survivor's guilt, and the profound milestone of sharing her story on 20/20. Together, Melissa and Christine demonstrate that when survivors speak openly, shame dissolves, communities strengthen, and true, deep-level cultural change begins. Grab a notebook, find a quiet space, and join us for this unforgettable conclusion. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Post-Separation Identity Building: How to safely rediscover your voice, preferences, and hobbies after years of control.Somatic and Energy Healing: The role of Reiki, massage, and acupressure in releasing stored physical trauma.A Trauma-Informed Framework for Recovery: How Christine’s 7-part immersive book serves three distinct stages of a survivor's journey.Overcoming Survivor's Guilt: Melissa's personal reflections on healing from sudden trauma, processing deep emotions, and the power of public vulnerability. Www.Tiktok.Com/@thetruthsheshowedme  https://www.instagram.com/thetruthsheshowedme?igsh=NHNkM3FvdHFudHl5&utm_source=qr https://www.facebook.com/share/14iCRuWPw52/?mibextid=wwXIfr Https://amzn.to/4te56ti  Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Christine's Story Part Two

  7. Jul 7

    Christine's Story Part One

    In this first part, Christine Dillard joins the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast to break down the complex mechanics of coercive control and domestic abuse. For 17 years, Christine lived an entirely double life: she was a confident, strong team lead in corporate America who managed boardrooms with ease, only to return home to an environment filled with walking on eggshells, explosive outbursts, and escalating threats. Christine candidly discusses the psychological barriers that keep many individuals trapped in abusive dynamics, including the heavy layers of shame, embarrassment, and self-doubt that cause victims to internalize the blame. She reflects on the early red flags, behaviors as seemingly minor as a partner being hours late for a first date, and explains how micro-behaviors snowball over time until a survivor no longer recognizes their own reality. The turning point came at year 14, leading to a meticulous, empowering three-year exit strategy. Christine shares invaluable insights on how she quietly took control of the household finances, advocated for raises at work to replace a dual income, and waited until her daughter was legally old enough to have a voice in custody courts. Finally, Christine introduces a unique, immediate nervous system hack, the "Altoid trick", recommended by her trauma therapist to shock the body out of a full-blown panic attack. Tune in to hear a masterclass in strategic survival, self-advocacy, and immediate trauma grounding. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The Anatomy of Coercive Control: How abusers use micro-behaviors to alter your narrative and rewrite your reality.The Illusion of the Double Life: Navigating the stark contrast between professional success and private survival.Building a Strategic Exit Plan: Financial empowerment, child custody timelines, and finding the courage to set terrifying boundaries.Nervous System Grounding: A practical, immediate physical trick to disrupt nightmares and panic attacks. Www.Tiktok.Com/@thetruthsheshowedme  https://www.instagram.com/thetruthsheshowedme?igsh=NHNkM3FvdHFudHl5&utm_source=qr https://www.facebook.com/share/14iCRuWPw52/?mibextid=wwXIfr Https://amzn.to/4te56ti  Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Christine's Story Part One

  8. Jun 30

    Maria's Story Part Two

    How do you find peace and joy on the days when life simply feels too heavy? In Part 2 of this inspiring conversation on the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast, host Melissa Etzler continues her discussion with author and podcaster Maria to explore the practical daily habits, tools, and mindsets required for long-term emotional healing and self-discovery. Following her survival of multiple health crises and major life transitions, Maria shares how she finally realized her lifelong dream of becoming a self-published author in her 40s. She introduces her book, Against All Odds: A Less Than 1% Chance, sharing how real-life stories can act as a guide for others seeking a shift in perspective. Melissa and Maria discuss the reality of the healing journey—acknowledging that even after doing the deep work, crappy days still happen. Maria reveals her go-to practices for heavy days, starting with a simple, transformative deep breath to flood the brain with oxygen and anchor yourself in the present moment. She explains the power of asking yourself the right questions to shift your focus away from future anxiety or past depression. Listeners will learn about the "law of giving and receiving," why Maria is known as the "purple energy girl" at work, and how consciously projecting the joy you wish to receive can cultivate inner peace. Finally, Maria leaves the audience with an uplifting message about looking for the "lighthouses" around us and building a personalized mental health toolbox. Don't forget to check the show notes for links to Maria's podcast and her newly released book! Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    Maria's Story Part Two
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About

How do we not just survive trauma, but redefine our lives afterward? The LOVE > hate Podcast is a trauma-informed space where survivors of assault and interpersonal violence can share their experiences and journey to healing and reclaiming their lives. Join us for deeply respectful conversations with survivors, advocates, experts, and more who transform devastating experiences into powerful purpose.

Information

  • Creator
    Melissa Etzler
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    31
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The LOVE>hate Podcast

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