The LOVE>hate Podcast

Melissa Etzler

How do we not just survive trauma, but redefine our lives afterward? The LOVE > hate Podcast is a trauma-informed space where survivors of assault and interpersonal violence can share their experiences and journey to healing and reclaiming their lives. Join us for deeply respectful conversations with survivors, advocates, experts, and more who transform devastating experiences into powerful purpose.

  1. Dan's Story Part Two

    5d ago

    Dan's Story Part Two

    In the powerful second half of this interview on the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast, host Melissa Etzler dives deeper with advocate Dan Roth into the complex realities of mental health, family dynamics, and intentional recovery. Dan opens up about his personal turning point, sharing the precise mindset shift that saved his marriage and reshaped his entire approach to emotional healing. Navigating Neurodivergence and Family TriggersDan offers a raw, vulnerable look into the challenges of balancing his own neurodivergence while parenting two autistic children. He explains how managing multiple sets of sensory triggers often meant suppressing his own needs, leading to emotional burnout. Dan discusses the embarrassment of life transitions—including his departure from Amazon during the 2023 mass layoffs—and how hiding those struggles created barriers in his marriage until a profound moment of self-awareness sparked a commitment to radical communication. From Survival to Impact: The Power of Grassroots AdvocacyListeners will be inspired by Dan’s extensive journey into grassroots advocacy. After a spinal injury sidelined the sports and physical outlets he once used for stress relief, Dan channeled his energy into creating massive community change. He details the incredible success of The Manny Project, an initiative that has successfully installed adaptive playground swings in 80% of his school district's elementary schools within just 18 months, ensuring children with physical and mental handicaps can play alongside their peers. Challenging Societal BiasesFrom special education reform to global fundraising for sickle cell anemia, and even championing menopause and maternity rights, Dan emphasizes the necessity of men stepping into uncomfortable conversations to become better partners and parents. He touches on his recent TEDx talk regarding body dysmorphia and eating disorders, closing with a powerful, unfiltered reflection on boundaries, processing trauma, and breaking down generational cycles for a fairer future. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    26 min
  2. Dan's Story Part One

    May 26

    Dan's Story Part One

    In this powerful episode of the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast, host Melissa Etzler sits down with advocate Dan Roth to discuss a critical yet frequently overlooked topic: male domestic violence and sexual assault survivorship. Dan opens up about his personal journey, shedding light on the complex realities of relationship trauma, mental health struggles, and the long road to recognizing abuse. Navigating Early Trauma and SusceptibilityDan discusses how experiencing early trauma can leave individuals more vulnerable to subsequent abuse. Entering his late teens while battling anxiety, severe depression, body dysmorphia, and an eating disorder, Dan describes an intense emotional need to feel wanted. This vulnerability led him into a toxic relationship at age 18, where he lacked the awareness to identify crossing boundaries or recognize the early warning signs of an abusive partner. Recognizing the Reality of Abuse and CoercionThe conversation dives deep into the specific dynamics of the abuse Dan faced, which spanned sexual, physical, and severe psychological components. He recalls instances of physical harm and revoked consent, behaviors he initially minimized or shrugged off as "normal" relationship friction. It wasn't until two decades later—while listening to a female friend share her own experiences with intimate partner violence—that Dan finally connected the dots. This revelation highlights a major societal gap: because society rarely frames men as victims, it took 20 years for him to fully process that he was a survivor of domestic abuse. By reclaiming his narrative and establishing firm boundaries years later, Dan emphasizes the vital importance of opening up transparent conversations. His story serves as a crucial resource for other male survivors, proving that vulnerability is a strength and that healing is entirely possible. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    28 min
  3. Kimberley's Story

    May 19

    Kimberley's Story

    In this powerful and soul-stirring episode of Love is Greater Than Hate, host Melissa Etzler welcomes Kimberly to share a story that remained hidden in the shadows for decades. For years, Kimberly lived in the suffocating grip of shame, only recently finding the strength in 2025 to reveal the reality of her past to her family. Her journey is a profound testament to the fact that true healing can only begin when we stop hiding our truths. Kimberly opens up about being a young, "sheltered" 16-year-old bride who found herself in a physically and mentally abusive marriage. As a straight-A student who "threw herself into books," she describes how her vulnerability was exploited and how she eventually became isolated from her own supportive family. This episode explores the complex dynamics of domestic abuse, trauma bonds, and the long road to recovery. Key Highlights of this Conversation: The Power of Spiritual Roots: How reciting childhood prayers and creeds provided a lifeline when Kimberly didn't know how to "pray-pray."The Role of a Support System: The bittersweet relationship with her mother-in-law and the friends who attempted to rescue her.The Moment of Self-Rescue: Why Kimberly had to be the one to decide she was ready to leave, regardless of outside help.Healing with Adult Children: Navigating the "resurfacing pain" as her children become adults and seek answers about their father.Forgiveness as Peace: The incredible spiritual milestone of replacing anger with pity and achieving total forgiveness for her abuser.Kimberly’s insights into self-love and faith offer a beacon of hope for anyone feeling trapped by their circumstances or their past. Her message is clear: slow down, learn to love yourself first, and never forget whose child you are. Tune in to hear how Kimberly transformed her pain into a "peace walk" and why she believes that on the other side of necessary pain, there is always something better. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    28 min
  4. Carolyn's Story Part Two

    May 12

    Carolyn's Story Part Two

    In the powerful conclusion of our two-part series, host Melissa Etzler continues her conversation with Caralyn, diving deep into the terrifying reality of post-separation abuse and the high-stakes journey of escaping a toxic environment while pregnant. This episode moves beyond the early red flags discussed in Part 1 to explore the dangerous escalation of control that often occurs when a survivor begins to reclaim their independence. Caralyn shares the harrowing details of her second abusive relationship, where the "charm" of a 24/7 phone connection was actually a digital leash. She describes the chilling experience of being forced to stay in a back bedroom to avoid repairmen and the constant, exhausting battle of defending her fidelity against baseless accusations. Key Highlights of Part 2: The Escalation of Violence: The terrifying moment a wooden hairbrush became a projectile—and the realization that things would only get worse.Planning the Escape: How Caralyn orchestrated a quiet exit while four months pregnant, managing the physical and emotional toll of a high-risk pregnancy under duress.Post-Separation Abuse & Legal Battles: The "worst year" of Caralyn’s life involving false allegations, CPS investigations, and the ongoing trauma of "invisible" threats.The Reality of "Peace": What life looks like a decade later, including the hyper-vigilance of a "safe harbor" and the power of protective orders.Tools for Healing: Caralyn’s specific practices for intentional self-talk and reframing negative thoughts at age 44.This episode is an essential listen for anyone navigating the complexities of domestic dynamics or supporting a loved one in crisis. Caralyn’s ultimate message is one of incredible resiliency: that even when you are "starved for love," you have the power to prioritize your safety, trust your judgment again, and keep rising. Did you miss the beginning? Be sure to listen to Part 1 to hear how these cycles began and the early signs of control that Caralyn first encountered. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    21 min
  5. Caralyn's Story Part One

    May 5

    Caralyn's Story Part One

    In this episode of LOVE>hate, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Caralyn for the first installment of a two-part series on surviving and transcending toxic cycles. Caralyn, offers a raw and vulnerable retrospective of two different abusive relationships, one from her early twenties and one from her thirties, to provide a "glimpse into the future" for other survivors who feel trapped by their past. In Part 1, Caralyn deconstructs the subtle and often confusing early red flags of narcissistic control. She details how "protective" behavior can quickly morph into extreme domestic demands, from having to vacuum carpets in perfectly straight lines to being dictated on what to wear and how much makeup to apply. This episode is a masterclass in understanding the psychology of isolation, explaining why abusers create a secluded world to prevent outside perspectives from breaking their hold. We we talked about in Part One The Illusion of Charm: How abusers often present as the most "handsome and nice" person in the room.The "Boiling Frog" Syndrome: How control starts with breakfast choices and gym routines before escalating to physical violence.The Shame of Survival: Caralyn speaks candidly about a traumatic incident of degradation and why she kept it a secret for years.Isolation Tactics: The strategic move to distance victims from family and the fear that prevents calling for help.The Danger of Quick Moves: Reflecting on the "convenience" of moving in together early and how it cements the abuser's power.This episode is a vital resource for anyone looking to understand the intricate cycles of abuse and the strength it takes to seek independence. Caralyn’s journey reminds us that while the harm was endured, it does not have to define the meaningful, peaceful life that follows. Stay tuned for Part 2, where Caralyn discusses the complexities of domestic abuse while pregnant and her ultimate journey toward safety and self-love. Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    19 min
  6. Matt's Story

    Apr 28

    Matt's Story

    In this powerful episode of Love is Greater Than Hate, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Matt Melvin, author of Bully Behind Bars, for a raw and transformative conversation about trauma, faith, and the long road to self-forgiveness. Matt shares his harrowing journey through the American prison system—including experiences with solitary confinement and physical assault—and how these challenges became the catalyst for a profound spiritual awakening. Matt opens up about growing up in a stoic environment where emotions were suppressed, a background that left him ill-equipped to handle the bullying and trauma he faced early in life. He reflects on his "lukewarm" faith and the pivotal near-death experience in 2015 that finally forced him to draw a "line in the sand." This episode dives deep into the crucial distinction between simply believing in God and truly trusting Him, especially when navigating mental health conditions like PTSD and autism within a system not designed to support neurodivergence. Key highlights from this episode include: The Power of "I" Statements: Why taking personal ownership of your emotions is the first step toward freedom.Breaking the Cycle of Victimhood: How Matt moved from being a victim to a "thriver" through journaling, prayer, and discipline.The Necessity of Boundaries: Learning to trust while verifying, and the importance of finding a "tribe" of like-minded, neurodivergent individuals.Nature as Medicine: Why getting outside and moving your body is essential for mental clarity and breaking the chains of isolation.Whether you are struggling with your own past mistakes or looking for the courage to forgive yourself, Matt’s story serves as a beacon of hope. It is a reminder that while healing isn't linear, peace is possible when you choose to stop holding yourself hostage. Connect with Matt Melvin: Purchase his book, Bully Behind Bars, on Amazon and follow his journey on Instagram @BullyBehindBars or X @BarsBullied. IG- Bulliedbehindbars X- Barsbullied Facebook- Matthew.Melvin.5621 Link to my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Bullied-Behind-Bars-Christian-Supporter-ebook/dp/B09SFKYFCD Email: bulliedbehindbars@gmail.com

    27 min
  7. Bill's Story Part Two

    Apr 21

    Bill's Story Part Two

    Picking up where Part 1 left off, Melissa and Bill dive into the "how" of long-term healing. Bill reflects on the messy reality of growth, admitting that progress isn't a straight line but a series of oscillations between old habits and new intentions. Now a father and a professional speaker, Bill discusses how he broke the cycle of generational trauma to raise his children differently. This episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, offering listeners tangible tools to manage their own "emotional charges" and navigate a divisive world with grace. Phone: 303-875-0070  Keynote Speaker Website: https://www.delacruzleadershipsolutions.com Podcast: The Origination Point Linkedin.com/in/billdelacruz/ Instagram: @billdelac Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    21 min
  8. Bill's Story Part One

    Apr 14

    Bill's Story Part One

    In the first half of this powerful conversation, Bill de la Cruz joins host Melissa Etzler to pull back the curtain on a childhood defined by trauma, abuse, and survival. Bill shares the raw details of his early years—from navigating a volatile relationship with his father to the devastating and sudden loss of his sister. As a young man, Bill found himself on a dangerous trajectory toward prison or death, fueled by unaddressed anger and substance abuse. However, at 18, a pivotal encounter with the law became the catalyst for a 30-year journey of transformation. Phone: 303-875-0070  Keynote Speaker Website: https://www.delacruzleadershipsolutions.com Podcast: The Origination Point Linkedin.com/in/billdelacruz/ Instagram: @billdelac Click here to donate to LOVE>hate now National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

    22 min
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Trailer

About

How do we not just survive trauma, but redefine our lives afterward? The LOVE > hate Podcast is a trauma-informed space where survivors of assault and interpersonal violence can share their experiences and journey to healing and reclaiming their lives. Join us for deeply respectful conversations with survivors, advocates, experts, and more who transform devastating experiences into powerful purpose.

Information

  • Creator
    Melissa Etzler
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The LOVE>hate Podcast