Untangling Life

Hattie Willis and Andy Ayim
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We believe anyone can design a life they truly want. But how do you get there without defaulting to courses or choices that don't serve you? Hattie Willis and Andy Ayim MBE invite you into their honest conversations about the breakthrough moments, the inevitable knots, and the universal "is this normal?" questions. Each week, we share practical tools and real-context stories to help you break free from limiting beliefs and move toward a life where your work and personal roles feel integrated and aligned. If you’re seeking a supportive community and a gentle roadmap to navigate uncertainty—turning chaos into a clearer path—you’ve found your space. We're not fixing your life; we’re figuring out our own, and inviting you to join the untangling.Want to dive deeper? Checkout our newsletter for journalling prompts and resources with each episode https://substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

  1. 4D AGO

    Episode 13: How To Stay Positive When The World Is On Fire

    What do you do when the world feels like it’s on fire? In this episode, we explore how to stay hopeful, grounded, and proactive in a time of constant bad news, algorithmic negativity, and digital overwhelm. We get into why so many people feel stuck in doom loops, how social media and the attention economy are reshaping our minds, and why endless scrolling can leave us feeling helpless rather than informed. We also unpack the emotional whiplash of modern life - seeing war, climate disasters, and political chaos alongside entertainment content - and what that does to our ability to care, act, and stay present. Plus practical strategies you can use today, including how to retrain your algorithm, reduce unconscious phone use, create intentional friction with technology, and build healthier habits around information consumption and real-world connection. In this episode: • Why the modern world can feel overwhelming and hopeless  • How algorithms are optimised for negativity and outrage  • The psychological effects of doomscrolling and digital desensitisation  • Why quick dopamine hits from technology can reduce motivation and agency  • How to intentionally train your social feeds toward balance and nuance  • Tools and apps that help reduce compulsive phone use  • The power of long-form thinking, dialogue, and deeper research  • Why collective individual action still matters in times of crisis  • Practical ways to stay engaged without burning out Journaling prompts: • What content leaves you feeling energised, informed, or hopeful - and what leaves you feeling anxious or powerless?  • What small change could you make this week to create more intentionality around your phone or media consumption?  • Where in your life could you replace passive consumption with meaningful action or connection? Apps, tools, and references mentioned:  • ClearSpace  • Brick  • FOQUS Books and references mentioned: • Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Subscribe to the newsletter for full journaling prompts, resources and reflections from each episode: https://substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

    48 min

  2. MAY 7

    Episode 12: Is Imposter Syndrome Even Real?

    There's a phrase that took off in the 1890s called bicycle face. A made-up affliction that posters warned women about right at the moment they started riding bikes, wearing trousers, and gaining freedom. We open this episode with a real question: is imposter syndrome the same thing? A label that arrived just as more women, more people of colour, more people from non-traditional backgrounds started entering rooms they'd been kept out of? Our take: it's complicated. There are people walking around with way too little of it (we're looking at you, British politics) and people drowning in too much of it (the founders we coach who leave themselves off their own pitch decks). We unpack both, why one of us needs more humility and the other needs more of their own evidence, and what to actually do when the voice gets loud. We talk through the questions that have helped us most. What is true here, not what's the worst case. Whose voice is the imposter voice using. So what if it is true. And the practical tools we've stolen and shared along the way: Amy Widener's wind bank, Hattie's rejection therapy challenge from her Wimbledon survey-job days, Andy's three-futures prompt for when imposter syndrome dresses itself up as a career decision. Plus the question we've found genuinely useful: what would someone completely mediocre but very overconfident be doing right now that you're not? In this episode: - The bicycle face history and why labels matter - Andy's definition of imposter syndrome as the voice that gets louder when confidence is low - Why some people need more imposter syndrome (and what unchecked confidence looks like) - Why others need much less (and how systemic signals get internalised as personal failings) - "What is true?" as the most useful grounding question - The three-futures prompt for big career decisions - And the always-useful: what's the actual worst that could happen? Subscribe to our substack for the journalling prompts: https://substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

    47 min

  3. APR 23

    Episode 11: Reinvention Of Self

    We're back and we're talking about reinvention of self. The urge to become someone new. The haircut after the breakup. The identity shed after the big life event. The promise of a cleaner, more disciplined, more together version of yourself that's always just one decision away. In this episode we get honest about our own reinventions and where they've helped, where they've hurt, and where they've actually been unhealthy attempts to escape something we should have processed instead. Andy shares the moment at 16 when he quit football despite all the pressure to keep playing, and how that unlocked a curiosity that shaped his whole career. Hattie talks about the haircut after her mum died, the fringe after last year's breakup, and her complicated relationship with reinvention as a recovering people-pleaser. We land on a distinction that's changed how we both think about this: the difference between reinvention and evolution. Reinvention asks you to be a different person. Evolution lets you keep being you, just more of yourself. One tends to hurt. The other tends to last. Plus we talk about reinvention as a team sport, the multiplier effect of stacking different careers, how to hold your history without letting it cap your future, and why the people who've known you longest are often your biggest cheerleaders and your hardest mirror. In this episode: Reinvention to escape vs reinvention to growAndy on quitting football at 16 and finding his way from "footy to the FT"The hair-cut-after-a-breakup phenomenon and what's really going on underneathWhy identity often gets tangled up in job titles and statusEvolution as a kinder alternative to reinventionCareer reinvention and the "multiplier effect" of stacking experiencesHow family and long-term friends both ground you and risk holding you to your old self Journaling prompts: When you feel at the edge of a reinvention, pause and ask: Am I trying to escape something I should actually process?What do I want to let go of here (what do I need to unlearn)?What do I want to take forward into the next stage (what do I need to learn)?At my core, who am I, and what are the parts of me that stay the same regardless? Bonus prompt: ask one or two people who know you well - what have you seen in me that you think I could step into even more?

    51 min

  4. APR 9

    Episode 10: Human Skills vs AI

    What stays valuable when AI can do so much? In this episode we untangle the skills we believe won't be replaced by AI, and how to actually use AI in a way that sharpens your thinking rather than rotting your brain. We get into why live experiences are becoming more valuable as AI grows, the widening gap between people who use AI well and those who don't, and why critical thinking is the single most important skill to protect. We talk about what's being lost when entry-level and middle-management jobs disappear, why "walk slower to run faster" applies to AI, and the timeless human skills that machines genuinely can't replicate: vulnerable storytelling, designing for feeling, mutual learning, problem-solving, and making work fun. Plus practical prompts you can use today, including how to build a personal budget with AI, how to approach job applications, and our rule that AI-assisted work is only as good as the pre-work you did before you opened ChatGPT. In this episode: Why live events and human experiences are becoming premium in an AI worldThe capability gap between "humans with AI" and "humans without AI"Critical thinking as the #1 skill to protect (and how to train it)Why AI is being used as an excuse to cut middle management (and the medium-term problem this creates)How companies are gutting entry-level roles and what it means for career progressionTimeless skills AI can't replicate: designing for feeling, problem-solving, mutual learning, vulnerable storytelling, making things funThe ingredients of a good prompt, with a worked example (building a personal budget)How to use AI for job applications without losing your voiceWhy "pre-work is the work" when using AI wellJournaling prompts: For the next two days, notice tasks that drain you. Which one could AI actually help with in a way that would reduce your anxiety or save your time?Before using AI on any real task, find two ways to solve the same problem without AI first. Compare, contrast, then prompt.Books and references mentioned: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanGamestorming by Dave Gray, Sunni Brown, James MacanufoAri Emanuel on live events vs AISubscribe to the newsletter for the full journaling prompts, resources and reflections from each episode: https://substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

    47 min

  5. MAR 26

    Episode 9: Rest & Recovery

    When did rest become something you have to earn? In this episode, we're talking about the one thing most of us are genuinely not doing well: resting. Not stopping. Not collapsing. Actually restoring. We get into the guilt that sits underneath most people's relationship with rest, the ADHD boom-bust cycle that keeps so many of us in a permanent pattern of sprint and crash, and what it actually looks like to build recovery into your life before you need a holiday to survive it. We also ask the uncomfortable question about AI: now that technology can do more of the work, are we actually resting with the time we save — or just quietly raising the bar for what enough looks like? This episode covers: The difference between stopping and resting — and why most of what we call rest doesn't actually restore usRest guilt in all its forms: the feeling that you haven't earned it, that you should be doing more, or that even sitting still isn't good enoughThe ADHD boom-bust pattern — running until you can't, then stopping entirely — and what small release valves look like insteadYutori: the Japanese concept of living with spaciousness, and why it's almost impossible to build into a TuesdayAndy's emotional audit — a four-quadrant framework for figuring out whether you're performing, burning out, disengaging, or actually recovering (and why you can't skip straight back to the first one)The AI efficiency question: if technology saves you four hours, what will you actually do with them?Rest doesn't have to be still. It just has to work. This episode will help you figure out what that actually looks like for you. Listen now and grab your journal 🧶 We share journalling prompts after every episode — sign up to get them straight to your inbox: substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

    44 min

  6. MAR 12

    Episode 8: Borrowed Goals

    What if the goals you're working towards aren't actually yours? In this episode, we dig into borrowed goals: the ambitions we absorb from the people around us - parents, teachers, religion, culture, social media - without ever really stopping to ask whether we actually want them. Marriage. University. The promotion. The venture-backed startup. Some of these feel so deeply ingrained it's almost impossible to know where they came from in the first place. We get into why so many borrowed goals are unconscious (and why that's not always a bad thing), plus the idea of 'gifted goals' - the ones that people who believe in us hand over intentionally, opening doors we didn't know we could walk through. This episode covers: The difference between borrowed goals and gifted goals — and why it mattersHow to spot a goal that isn't really yours (wheel-spinning, hollow wins, and that nagging feeling of tug-of-war)The invisibility test: if no one could ever know you'd achieved it, would you still want it?Why we borrow timelines as well as goals — and the pressure to hit milestones when everyone around you is hitting theirsHow to customise a goal so it actually fits your life, not someone else's version of itYour goals deserve to be yours. This episode will help you figure out which ones actually are. Listen now and grab your journal 🧶 We share journalling prompts after every episode — sign up to get them straight to your inbox: substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

    51 min

  7. FEB 26

    Episode 7: Continuous Learning

    What if the secret to learning better isn't about absorbing more - it's about staying curious in the first place? In this episode, we dig into continuous learning: what it really means, why most of us arrive in the workplace at about 40% of our true selves, and how we can reconnect with the childlike wonder we all started with. They get into why curiosity gets socialised out of us long before we even enter the workforce — and how the generational gap at work means younger people's curiosity is often treated as an inconvenience rather than an asset. They also explore the difference between directional curiosity (learning with a goal) and expansive curiosity (exploring just because), and why you need both. This episode covers: Why even the most experienced learners can accidentally shut down someone else's learningThe shift from mentoring to mutual mentoring - and why the senior person gains just as much as the juniorHow to figure out how you actually learn best (and why personality tests are useful tools, not life sentences)Why starting badly at something is part of the deal — and why quitting isn't always failureA simple journaling exercise to track both types of curiosity in your own lifeContinuous learning isn't an act. It's a mindset. And this episode will help you build it. Listen now and grab your journal 🧶

    45 min

  8. FEB 20

    Bonus Mini Episode: Reacting to the AI Essay Everyone's Talking About

    Bonus episodes weren't in our series plan - but this one couldn't wait. While recording the latest episodes, we heard about the viral essay by Matt Schumer that's been doing the rounds. His argument? We're in the "this seems overblown" phase of something much bigger than most people realise - and the job displacement is coming faster than anyone is prepared for. So we hit record and reacted to it in real time. In this mini bonus episode we get into: - The pace of AI development and why it's different this time - Who gets left behind and why that matters - The bias baked into these models and why it's a bigger deal than people realise - Practical advice for what to do if you're worried - including if you can't afford the paid tools yet No clean answers. Just an honest conversation about how to move forward when you don't know what you're moving into. 🔗 Read Matt Schumer's original essay: https://x.com/mattshumer_/status/2021256989876109403

    17 min
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About

We believe anyone can design a life they truly want. But how do you get there without defaulting to courses or choices that don't serve you? Hattie Willis and Andy Ayim MBE invite you into their honest conversations about the breakthrough moments, the inevitable knots, and the universal "is this normal?" questions. Each week, we share practical tools and real-context stories to help you break free from limiting beliefs and move toward a life where your work and personal roles feel integrated and aligned. If you’re seeking a supportive community and a gentle roadmap to navigate uncertainty—turning chaos into a clearer path—you’ve found your space. We're not fixing your life; we’re figuring out our own, and inviting you to join the untangling.Want to dive deeper? Checkout our newsletter for journalling prompts and resources with each episode https://substack.com/@untanglinglifepod

Information

  • Creator
    Hattie Willis and Andy Ayim
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Untangling Life
  • Show Website
    Untangling Life