EQ Unlocked: Regulation Before Awareness. Choice Follows.

Matthew F. Stevens
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EQ Unlocked is a podcast about nervous system regulation as a real-world prerequisite for clarity, consistency, and decision-making under pressure. Hosted by Matthew F. Stevens, each episode examines how regulation shapes awareness, behavior, workplace dynamics, and identity—so choices are made from stability rather than reaction. REGULATION → AWARENESS → CHOICE Find Your Regulation Baseline MatthewFStevens.com Matthew F. Stevens Certified Complex Trauma Resilience Practitioner (CCTRP) • NLP Practitioner . 

Episodes

  1. 3D AGO

    When Stress Steals Choice: Regulation, Not Motivation, Saves Workplaces

    Most workplace problems are not caused by poor communication or bad culture—they emerge when unregulated nervous systems operate under pressure. Stress narrows thinking, distorts awareness, and removes choice, leading to escalation, burnout, and inconsistent behavior. In this episode, we explain why regulation—not motivation or insight—is the prerequisite for clear thinking and controlled response at work. This conversation reframes emotional regulation as organizational infrastructure. Leaders learn why assessing regulation baseline capacity, building containment, and training for regulated responses reduces escalation, improves decision-making under stress, and stabilizes workplace culture over time. Key themes: workplace regulation, emotional regulation at work, leadership under pressure, escalation prevention, nervous system regulation, and organizational performance.

    25 min

  2. FEB 9

    Regulate First: The Missing Step in Emotional Intelligence

    Host Matthew F. Stevens reverses the traditional emotional intelligence order, arguing that regulation must come before awareness and choices. He explains that insight without nervous-system recovery leads to rumination and repeated behaviors, and shares personal stories and client examples to show how regulation creates space for accurate awareness and better decisions. Practical takeaways include learning to lower baseline stress, using simple regulation practices, and asking whether your nervous system is calm enough to respond rather than react. The episode emphasizes that regulated presence improves relationships, leadership, parenting, and overall decision-making.

    27 min

  3. FEB 2

    Regulation Over Reaction: Living With Emotional Intelligence

    In Episode 7 of EQ Unlocked, Matthew F. Stevens explores the shift from automatic reaction to emotional regulation. This episode explains how emotional intelligence helps us pause, notice, and choose more intentional responses in everyday life. Rather than eliminating emotion, regulation allows space for clarity, healthier communication, and self-trust—improving relationships, family dynamics, work, and decision-making over time.

    32 min

  4. JAN 26

    The Last Kisses: Conversations That Changed Me

    In this personal episode, Matthew F. Stevens recounts the last times he saw his parents and Ashley, revealing unexpected moments that shifted his memory and purpose. He reflects on selfish patterns, honest conversations, a sudden breakdown on the road, and the decision to rebuild himself through awareness, regulation, and disciplined practice. Through these stories he explains how emotional intelligence—awareness, regulation, and choice—helped him forgive himself, create systems for change, and become the man he wanted to be. Listen for lessons on growth, accountability, and how regret can be a teacher when used constructively.   https://matthewfstevens.com https://matthewfstevens.com/eq-unlocked https://matthewfstevens.com/contact

    29 min

  5. JAN 19

    Owning the Damage: How Accountability Frees You

    In this episode Matthew Stevens explores the hard work of ownership: facing the harm we caused, accepting responsibility without shame, and using emotional intelligence to make better choices. He shares personal stories about realizing when his unregulated responses hurt others, the steps he took to confront that truth, and how forgiveness of self opened a path to repair. The episode offers practical reflections and questions to help listeners identify patterns, take accountability in the moment, and begin making things right through actions rather than explanations.

    22 min

  6. JAN 12

    When Trauma Became My Identity — Choosing Myself at 43

    Matthew F. Stevens shares how a lifetime shaped by trauma became his identity and how a simple instruction—"take care of yourself"—gave him permission to begin healing. He describes the survival behaviors that once protected him, how they later limited his life, and the moment he began to choose himself. The episode explores awareness of the nervous system, shifting from survival to intentional self-care, and practical questions for listeners to reflect on patterns that no longer serve them. It’s an invitation to practice small daily acts of care and to reframe self-care as responsibility, not indulgence.   Website: https://matthewfstevens.com EQ Unlocked Hub: https://matthewfstevens.com/eq-unlocked Request a Conversation: https://matthewfstevens.com/contact

    22 min

  7. JAN 5

    From Survival to Living: Reclaiming Life Beyond Hypervigilance

    There was a time when my reactions kept me alive — but they were also keeping me stuck. In this episode of EQ Unlocked, I explore how survival responses can quietly turn into identity, shaping how we think, relate, parent, lead, and love. I share personal moments where hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, and control felt necessary — and how emotional intelligence helped me recognize when protection had turned into self-sabotage. This episode isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. And about learning who you are without survival running the show. Listeners are invited to reflect, take a free assessment at NALS.online, and consider simple steps toward living with more presence and choice.   Website: https://matthewfstevens.com EQ Unlocked Hub: https://matthewfstevens.com/eq-unlocked Request a Conversation: https://matthewfstevens.com/contact

    25 min

  8. JAN 4

    Outgrowing the Old You: Growth, Mercy, and Emotional Integrity

    This episode is a moment of clarity. I know who I am now and this is where we're going.  For years, I’ve shared my voice publicly—through social media, books, and past podcasts—often speaking honestly, but from a place shaped by hurt, pain, and unresolved trauma. That content was real, and it mattered. But it wasn’t the full picture. What changed wasn’t time. It was intention. I came to realize that I was still living in survival mode—and that if I truly wanted to help others develop emotional intelligence, I had to invest deeply in my own growth first. That meant stepping back, doing the work, and spending significant time, energy, and resources on understanding myself, regulating my nervous system, and finding peace. In this episode, I reflect on the difference between speaking from pain and speaking from clarity. I talk openly about past content that was rooted in trauma, not with shame or embarrassment, but with honesty and responsibility. Growth doesn’t erase the past—it reframes it. If you’ve ever looked back at an older version of yourself and felt discomfort, this conversation is for you. Past mistakes don’t equal failure. They’re often proof that growth is happening. This episode isn’t about taking anything back. It’s about showing what growth actually looks like.   Website: https://matthewfstevens.com EQ Unlocked Hub: https://matthewfstevens.com/eq-unlocked Request a Conversation: https://matthewfstevens.com/contact

    19 min

  9. 12/22/2025

    Safety, Choice, and Healing After Sexual Abuse

    This episode is for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse and still carries its impact in their body, relationships, or sense of self. You don’t need to relive anything to listen, and you don’t need to be “healed” to belong here. I talk honestly about why survivors’ reactions make sense, how trauma shapes the nervous system, and how healing isn’t about forcing strength or forgiveness—it’s about restoring safety and choice at your own pace. If this conversation brings something up for you, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It means your body remembers. You’re allowed to pause, take breaks, and move through this in the way that feels safest for you. You were never weak. And you don’t have to carry this alone.

    20 min

  10. 12/15/2025

    Emotional Intelligence Begins With Awareness

    In this episode of EQ Unlocked, Matthew F. Stevens explores why emotional intelligence always begins with awareness—not control, perfection, or performance. He breaks down what self-awareness really is, how trauma can make it feel unsafe to notice our own thoughts and feelings, and why gentle curiosity is more powerful than self-criticism. This episode offers practical, trauma-informed steps to build awareness in everyday life, relationships, family, and work.

    33 min
  11. Precursor to EQ Unlocked: Clinical Context, Lived Experience, and Intentional Listening

    12/01/2025

    Precursor to EQ Unlocked: Clinical Context, Lived Experience, and Intentional Listening

    Before the core episodes of EQ Unlocked begin, this precursor provides essential clinical and experiential context for the conversations ahead. Matthew F. Stevens explains the trauma-informed lens of the podcast, the role of emotional intelligence and the nervous system, and how lived experience and clinical understanding intersect. This episode sets expectations for safe listening, thoughtful reflection, and growth without pressure, blame, or urgency.

    15 min
  • 11 Episodes

About

EQ Unlocked is a podcast about nervous system regulation as a real-world prerequisite for clarity, consistency, and decision-making under pressure. Hosted by Matthew F. Stevens, each episode examines how regulation shapes awareness, behavior, workplace dynamics, and identity—so choices are made from stability rather than reaction. REGULATION → AWARENESS → CHOICE Find Your Regulation Baseline MatthewFStevens.com Matthew F. Stevens Certified Complex Trauma Resilience Practitioner (CCTRP) • NLP Practitioner . 

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