Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents

Dr. Amy Patenaude, Ed.D., NCSP
  • 5.0 (13)
  • Parenting
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Psyched2Parent turns brain science into tiny wins for parents raising big-feeling, strong-willed, big-hearted, big-brained kids, especially the ones who hold it together at school and unravel at home. I'm Dr. Amy Patenaude, a school psychologist, parent coach, and your school psych in your pocket. Each week, I help you decode what's underneath the behavior, understand your child's brain and nervous system, and figure out what to do next at home and at school. You'll get parent-friendly explanations, tiny wins you can actually use, scripts for hard moments, and practical guidance for navigating school supports like IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and accommodations. We talk about meltdowns, executive function, anxiety, perfectionism, transitions, screen-time conflict, learning differences, and the messy middle of raising kids who feel deeply and need support that actually fits. The goal is not perfection. The goal is more clarity, more connection, fewer power struggles, and a steadier path forward, one tiny win at a time.

  1. 8h ago

    My Kid Is Smart. So Why Is School So Hard?

    My Kid Is Smart. So Why Is School So Hard? Your child is smart. You KNOW they're smart. So why is reading such a struggle? Why does homework take forever? And why does the teacher keep telling you about missing assignments when your child insists they're trying? At some point, you start wondering: "Does my kid need testing? Or am I overreacting?" In this episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes of what I'd actually tell a parent who calls my practice with that question. We'll talk about the patterns I look for as a school psychologist, why being smart doesn't always mean school comes easily, and how to know when additional support or a psychoeducational evaluation might make sense. Because sometimes we're so focused on getting kids to try harder that we forget to ask whether they have the skills and support they need. You don't necessarily need to do MORE. Sometimes you need to do something DIFFERENT. And you don't have to wait for a diagnosis to start helping your child. 🔎 This Episode Is For You If... Your child is bright and capable, but reading, writing, or math just isn't clicking. Homework takes forever, even when your child seems to understand the material. You're hearing concerns from teachers, but your child insists they're trying. You've tried tutoring or extra practice without seeing much progress. You're wondering whether your child needs testing, additional intervention, or just more time. 🧠 In This Episode Why being smart and having strong academic skills aren't always the same thing. What I look for when a parent tells me something isn't clicking. How repeated academic struggles can affect a child's confidence and motivation. What a psychoeducational evaluation can (and can't) tell us. Why testing isn't the only option and what parents can do while waiting for answers. How to work with your child's school to develop a plan instead of simply waiting and hoping. 💜 Three Tiny Wins 1. Follow the breadcrumbs. Notice what keeps happening, when it's difficult, what you've already tried, and what your child is telling you. We're looking for patterns, not trying to diagnose your kid at the kitchen table. 2. Ask for a plan. Talk with your child's teacher. Ask what skill is difficult, what support is being provided, how progress is being measured, and when you'll check back in. 3. Protect the whole child. Make sure your child knows they're so much more than the thing they're struggling with. Instead of "You know how to do this," try: "I can see how hard you're working. Let's figure out what's making this tricky." Pick one. One is enough. 🎁 Free Resources A few tools to help you understand what's happening and find your next Tiny Win. Tiny Wins Playbook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? After-School Reset Guide Volcano Feelings Freebie 💬 Come Hang Out With Me I'm a licensed school psychologist, parent coach, and mom of two who spends a whole lot of time helping families figure out what's happening between home and school. I share practical school psych takes, real-life parenting, and Tiny Wins for raising big-feeling, big-brained kids. Instagram: @dramypatenaude Facebook: Psyched2Parent If you have a friend who's been saying, "I KNOW my kid is smart, but something isn't clicking," send them this episode. They might need to hear it, too. And if you're enjoying Psyched2Parent, please follow the podcast and leave a rating or review. It helps more parents find these conversations. 🏃‍♀️ Road To Dopey — Supporting The Kyle Pease Foundation Outside the office, I'm training for the 2027 runDisney Dopey Challenge: four races, four days, and 48.6 miles. This year, I'm participating as a push athlete with the Kyle Pease Foundation, supporting inclusive endurance racing for athletes with disabilities. It's something I care deeply about because I believe everyone deserves opportunities to participate, belong, and experience their own finish line. And yes, my endurance training currently involves stealing my kids' Halloween Skittles for long-run fuel. 🙃 Support my KPF fundraiser: Donate to Amy's Road to Dopey Fundraiser Every donation and share helps support the foundation's mission. Thank you for cheering us on! Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please connect with a qualified professional in your area.

  2. Oct 27

    Child Anxiety: When Reassurance Starts Making It Worse

    Child Anxiety: When Reassurance Starts Making It Worse "Are you sure?" "But what if?" "Tell me one more time." And because you love your kid, you answer again. They feel better. You feel better. And then five minutes later, the question is back. In this episode, I'm talking about what happens when reassurance, avoidance, and family accommodation start becoming part of the anxiety loop. We'll talk about why rescue feels so good in the moment, why that short term relief can make anxiety stickier, and how to support your child without letting anxiety run the whole family. This is not about being cold. It is not about telling kids to toughen up. It is about learning to say: I believe this is hard. And I believe you can handle the next step. This Episode Is for You If... Your child asks the same reassurance question over and over. You have started changing plans just to keep your child from becoming anxious. You speak for them, stay longer, check repeatedly, or help them avoid things that feel scary. You worry that asking your child to do hard things will make the anxiety worse. You are trying to figure out the line between supporting and rescuing. In This Episode Why reassurance and avoidance work so well in the moment. How immediate relief can strengthen the anxiety loop. What family accommodation actually means. The difference between supporting your child and rescuing them. How to use validation plus confidence instead of endless reassurance. Why 10% braver is often more useful than expecting a child to suddenly become fearless. Three Tiny Wins 1. Notice one accommodation. Where has anxiety quietly changed your family routine? 2. Use validation plus confidence. "I know this feels really hard, and I know you can handle the next step." 3. Make one thing 10% braver. One less reassurance. One small practice. One step toward doing it independently. Pick one. One is enough. Free Resources Tiny Wins Playbook https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/tinywinsplaybook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/adhdanxietyorsomethingelse Volcano Feelings Freebie https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments After School Reset Guide https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/afterschoolresetguide Come Hang Out With Me I share practical tools from my work as a school psychologist, plus the very real mom side of trying to help anxious kids do hard things without fixing every uncomfortable feeling for them. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dramypatenaude/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ If you have a friend who keeps answering "Are you sure?" because they desperately want their child to feel better, send them this episode. Road to Dopey I'm training for the 2027 Dopey Challenge as a push athlete with the Kyle Pease Foundation. Support my fundraiser: https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening does not create a provider client relationship. If you are concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please connect with a qualified professional in your area.

  3. Oct 20

    My Kid Says They're Being Bullied. What Do I Do First?

    My Kid Says They're Being Bullied. What Do I Do First? Episode Summary Your child gets in the car and says: "I'm being bullied." And suddenly your nervous system is ready to email the school, call the other parent, and launch a full investigation before you've even left carline. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude helps parents slow down, understand what bullying actually looks like, and figure out what to do first. You'll learn how to use the Pattern–Power–Harm framework, how to listen without immediately jumping into investigation mode, and how to work with school to create a clear safety plan. Because not every hard interaction is bullying. And bullying is never "just drama." This Episode Is for You If… Your child says they're being bullied and you're not sure what to do next. You're trying to tell the difference between bullying, mean behavior, exclusion, and friendship conflict. You worry about overreacting or accidentally making things worse. You need to know when to involve school. You want your child to feel supported without turning every hard interaction into a crisis. In This Episode What actually defines bullying. How to use Pattern–Power–Harm to understand what is happening. Why something can be serious without technically being bullying. Why your first response should be: "I'm glad you told me." How to validate your child's feelings without confirming something you do not yet know. What facts to gather before contacting school. Why contacting the other child's parent is usually not the best first move. What a useful school safety plan should include. How home and school can work together to know whether the plan is actually helping. Three Tiny Wins 1. Start with: "I'm glad you told me." Before the questions, emails, or investigation, help your child know they are heard, supported, and not alone. 2. Write down five facts. What happened? Where? When? Who was involved? Has it happened before? If there is an immediate safety concern, serious physical aggression, threats, sexualized behavior, or harassment, involve the appropriate adults right away. 3. Ask school for the plan. Who does your child tell? Where do they go? Who is watching? How will you know if something happens again? When will everyone check back in? Pick one. One is enough. Free Resources Tiny Wins Playbook https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/tinywinsplaybook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/adhdanxietyorsomethingelse After-School Reset Guide https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/afterschoolresetguide Come Hang Out With Me For practical school-psych takes, real-life parenting, and Tiny Wins in the messy middle: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dramypatenaude/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ And if you know another parent staring at their phone wondering whether to email the school or contact the other child's parent, send them this episode first. Road to Dopey I'm training for the 2027 Dopey Challenge as a push athlete with the Kyle Pease Foundation. If you'd like to support my fundraiser: https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

  4. Oct 13

    Child Anxiety: Why Everything Feels Like A Threat

    Child Anxiety: Why Everything Feels Like a Threat Your child knows they are safe. So why does their brain keep acting like something terrible is about to happen? Maybe anxiety looks like stomachaches before school, endless "what if?" questions, perfectionism, separation anxiety, needing every detail of the plan, or completely melting down over something that seems small. In this episode, I'm breaking down what is happening underneath all of that. We'll talk about why an anxious child's worry alarm can mistake discomfort for danger, why uncertainty makes that alarm louder, and how we can help kids feel anxious without automatically letting anxiety make the decision. The goal is not to get rid of anxiety. The goal is helping your child learn: This feels scary. I am safe. And I can take the next step. This Episode Is for You If... Your child asks "What if?" or "Are you sure?" over and over. Anxiety shows up as stomachaches, perfectionism, anger, refusal, or clinginess. Your child worries about school, separation, mistakes, or unfamiliar situations. You are not always sure whether your child is unsafe or just really uncomfortable. You keep saying "You're fine" and somehow it is not fixing anything. In This Episode Why childhood anxiety can make safe situations feel threatening. Why "what if?" questions and uncertainty can keep the worry alarm loud. Why anxiety does not always look like fear. How to validate the feeling without validating every anxious prediction. How to help kids tell the difference between danger and discomfort. Why I am looking for 10% braver, not completely fearless. Three Tiny Wins 1. Name the alarm. "Your worry alarm is really loud right now." 2. Ask: danger or discomfort? "Do we need to get safe, or does this feel really uncomfortable?" 3. Find the 10% brave move. What can your child do while the anxiety is still there? Pick one. One is enough. Free Resources Tiny Wins Playbook https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/tinywinsplaybook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/adhdanxietyorsomethingelse Volcano Feelings Freebie https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments After School Reset Guide https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/afterschoolresetguide Come Hang Out With Me I share school psych takes, real life parenting, and practical Tiny Wins for big feeling, big brained kids. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dramypatenaude/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ If you have a friend currently answering the eleventh "But are you sure?" of the day, send them this episode. Road to Dopey I'm training for the 2027 Dopey Challenge as a push athlete with the Kyle Pease Foundation. Support my fundraiser: https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening does not create a provider client relationship. If you are concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please connect with a qualified professional in your area.

  5. Oct 6

    The Honeymoon Is Over: When School Struggles Aren't Getting Better

    The Honeymoon Is Over: When School Struggles Aren't Getting Better Episode Summary It's October. The novelty of back-to-school has worn off, routines are established, and now you have something valuable: a pattern. Maybe reading keeps ending in tears. Homework is still a battle. Your child keeps saying they have no friends. Sunday-night stomachaches are becoming a regular thing. At some point, we move from: "That was a hard day." to: "Okay. I'm seeing a pattern." In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude explains how to know when "wait and see" has given you enough information to look closer, what it may be costing your child to keep looking okay, and how to talk with school without needing to know the diagnosis first. Because you don't need all 10,000 puzzle pieces before you ask for the next one. This Episode Is for You If… You gave your child time to adjust to school, but the same struggles keep showing up. Homework, reading, friendships, mornings, or school anxiety are getting harder instead of easier. Your child is doing "fine" on paper, but it seems to be costing them a lot. You keep wondering whether you're overreacting. You want to talk with the school but aren't sure what to ask. In This Episode You'll Learn Why "wait and see" should actually give you information. How to look for patterns instead of reacting to one difficult day. Why your parent gut is useful data, but not a diagnosis. How to use the "Yes, but…" test to understand what school success may be costing your child. Why changes in confidence and "losing their sparkle" matter. How to give teachers a clearer lens instead of simply asking, "How is everything?" Why you should bring the pattern, not the diagnosis. How to move from vaguely watching to creating an actual next-step plan. Three Tiny Wins 1. Name the pattern. What keeps coming up: reading, homework, friendships, attention, mornings, confidence? 2. Ask what it is costing. "Yes, my child can do it, but…" 3. Give school the lens. Share the pattern you're seeing and ask: "Are you seeing anything similar at school?" "What should we try next, and when should we check back in?" Pick one. One is enough. Free Resources Tiny Wins Playbook https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/tinywinsplaybook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/adhdanxietyorsomethingelse After-School Reset Guide https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/afterschoolresetguide Support + Connect If this episode made you think, "I don't know exactly what's wrong, but something still feels off," come find me on Instagram for practical school-psych takes, real-life parenting, and Tiny Wins in the messy middle. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dramypatenaude/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ And if you know another parent who keeps wondering whether they're overreacting, send them this episode. Amy's Fundraiser I'm training for the 2027 Dopey Challenge as a push athlete with the Kyle Pease Foundation. Support my fundraiser here: https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

  6. Sep 29

    ADHD Homework Struggles: Why Smart Kids Fall Behind

    ADHD Homework Struggles: Why Smart Kids Fall Behind What to do when your child knows the work but struggles to get it done and turned in Episode Summary Your child understands the material. You've watched them finish the homework. So why does it take forever? And how does the finished assignment STILL end up missing? "I forgot." "I thought I turned it in." "I don't know where it is." Sound familiar? In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude helps parents understand why ADHD can make the homework process harder, even when a child knows the material. Because "do your homework" isn't one task. It's a whole chain of executive-function demands: remembering the assignment, gathering materials, getting started, staying focused, finishing, packing, and turning it in. You'll learn how to identify where that chain is breaking, stop treating every missing assignment as a motivation problem, and build practical systems that help your child follow through. The goal isn't to become your child's full-time homework manager. It's to find the bottleneck, build the right support, and help your child become more independent, one Tiny Win at a time. This Episode Is for You If… Your child understands the material but homework takes forever. Finished assignments somehow never get turned in. You're constantly reminding your child to start, finish, or pack their work. You worry your child isn't trying or doesn't care about school. You've tried planners, folders, and reminders, but nothing seems to stick. In This Episode You'll Learn Why homework is a chain of executive-function tasks, not one simple assignment. How to identify the specific bottleneck instead of treating all homework struggles the same. Why inconsistent performance doesn't automatically mean a lack of effort. How to use checklists, routines, and external supports to make homework more manageable. When to collaborate with teachers or seek additional academic and school-based support. Free Resources After-School Reset Guide Tiny Wins Playbook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? Volcano Feelings Freebie Summer Without the Spiral Support + Connect If this episode made you think, "Yep. My kid did the homework, so how is it STILL missing?" come follow me on Instagram @dramypatenaude for practical school-psych takes, real-life parenting, and Tiny Wins in the messy middle. And if you have a friend who is tired of checking the school portal and wondering where all those finished assignments went, send this episode to them. They probably need it too. Instagram Facebook Show Notes and Previous Episodes Amy's Fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

  7. Sep 22

    Homework Anxiety: Why Your Child Knows It but Struggles

    Homework Anxiety: Why Your Child Knows It but Struggles What to do when your child knows the work but still falls apart at home Episode summary Your child knows how to do the work. The teacher says they can do it independently. You have watched them solve the same kind of problem before. And then homework starts: "Is this right?" "Are you sure?" "Can you check this?" "I CAN'T DO THIS." In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude helps parents figure out whether homework struggles are coming from a skill deficit or a performance deficit. Sometimes "I can't" means: "I don't know how." Sometimes it means: "I know how, but anxiety is making it hard to use the skill right now." You'll learn how to tell the difference, avoid getting pulled into the reassurance loop, and support your child without becoming the answer key. This episode is for you if… Your child can do the work at school but struggles at home. You hear "Is this right?" or "Are you sure?" over and over. Homework turns into tears, shutdown, erasing, or refusal. You are not sure whether your child is anxious or genuinely confused. Homework takes much longer than you think it should. In this episode you'll learn The difference between a skill deficit and a performance deficit. Why "I can't" may really mean "I don't feel sure enough." Why a child can work independently at school and still struggle at home. How reassurance can become part of the homework loop. How to support your child without becoming the answer key. Free resources After-School Reset Guide Volcano Feelings Freebie Summer Without the Spiral Tiny Wins Playbook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? Support + Connect If this episode made you think, "Yep. This is exactly what homework looks like in my house," come follow me on Instagram @dramypatenaude for practical school-psych takes on the moments when you know your child is capable, but something is getting in the way. And if you have a friend currently sitting at the kitchen table saying, "But I know you know how to do this," send this episode to them. They probably need it too. Instagram Facebook Show Notes and Previous Episodes Amy's Fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, learning, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

  8. Sep 15

    School Refusal: What Parents Can Ask Schools to Do

    School Refusal: What Parents Can Ask Schools to Do How to build a school plan that actually helps Episode summary What can you actually ask the school to do when your child is struggling to get through the school door? In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude helps parents move from a chaotic, constantly changing morning plan to something simpler, more predictable, and easier for everyone to follow. Because when a child is already anxious, they do not need seven adults trying seven different things. They need a shared plan. You'll learn why Amy wants school-refusal plans to be almost boring, how to identify one trusted adult and one predictable arrival routine, and why every support should have a clear pathway back to participation. A break can help. A counselor can help. A safe space can help. But one of the most useful questions parents can ask is: "And then what?" What happens after the break? How does your child return? What is the support helping them build toward? The goal is not to remove every hard feeling. The goal is to help your child move through the hard feeling and back into their day. This episode is for you if… Your child struggles with drop-off, school refusal, separation anxiety, or getting through the school door. You have multiple teachers, counselors, administrators, or other adults involved and everyone seems to have a slightly different plan. You are constantly trying to remember who is supposed to meet your child, where the handoff happens, or what happens when anxiety spikes. Your child does better when routines are predictable and adults respond consistently. You feel like you have accidentally become the case manager for your child's school-refusal plan. Your child regularly uses a counselor, break space, trusted adult, quieter location, or other school support. You are worried that a helpful accommodation may slowly be turning into another way to avoid class. You want to collaborate with school without creating a giant, complicated intervention plan. You need to know what questions to ask before tomorrow morning. In this episode you'll learn Understand why predictability matters when a child is already anxious about school. Make an arrival plan simple enough that everyone understands what happens next. Identify one trusted adult who can reliably receive your child. Clarify where the handoff happens, what the goodbye looks like, and what happens first. Understand why individualized school-refusal plans may need to change as adults gather more information. Reduce the number of decisions a parent has to manage every morning. Think about school supports as bridges back to participation. Ask what happens after a counselor visit, regulation break, safe space, or reduced demand. Measure progress through return to class, participation, recovery, and reduced adult support. Recognize the difference between supporting anxiety and accidentally creating a new avoidance pattern. Understand why "return to participation" never means asking a child to tolerate bullying, unsafe situations, or genuinely inaccessible demands. Use "And then what?" to clarify the purpose of school supports. Tiny Wins to try this week Pick one trusted adult. Your child does not need seven adults trying seven different strategies at arrival. Identify the person who can reliably receive them. Make tomorrow predictable. Decide where the handoff happens, what the parent says, who receives the child, and what happens first. Ask "And then what?" If the plan includes a counselor, break, safe space, or other support, ask what happens afterward and how your child returns to participation. Make the plan boring. Same arrival place. Same brief goodbye. Same receiving adult. Same first step whenever possible. Move the plan out of your head. Make sure the adults involved know the shared plan so one parent is not carrying the whole system alone. Pick one. One is enough. Free resources After-School Reset Guide Volcano Feelings Freebie Summer Without the Spiral Tiny Wins Playbook ADHD, Anxiety, or Something Else? Support + Connect Amy's Fundraiser Instagram Facebook TikTok Show Notes and Previous Episodes Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area. ```

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5
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About

Psyched2Parent turns brain science into tiny wins for parents raising big-feeling, strong-willed, big-hearted, big-brained kids, especially the ones who hold it together at school and unravel at home. I'm Dr. Amy Patenaude, a school psychologist, parent coach, and your school psych in your pocket. Each week, I help you decode what's underneath the behavior, understand your child's brain and nervous system, and figure out what to do next at home and at school. You'll get parent-friendly explanations, tiny wins you can actually use, scripts for hard moments, and practical guidance for navigating school supports like IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and accommodations. We talk about meltdowns, executive function, anxiety, perfectionism, transitions, screen-time conflict, learning differences, and the messy middle of raising kids who feel deeply and need support that actually fits. The goal is not perfection. The goal is more clarity, more connection, fewer power struggles, and a steadier path forward, one tiny win at a time.

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