Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents

Dr. Amy Patenaude, Ed.D., NCSP
  • 5.0 (11)
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Psyched2Parent turns brain science into tiny wins for parents raising big-feeling, strong-willed, big-hearted, big-brained kids, especially the ones who hold it together at school and unravel at home. I'm Dr. Amy Patenaude, a school psychologist, parent coach, and your school psych in your pocket. Each week, I help you decode what's underneath the behavior, understand your child's brain and nervous system, and figure out what to do next at home and at school. You'll get parent-friendly explanations, tiny wins you can actually use, scripts for hard moments, and practical guidance for navigating school supports like IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and accommodations. We talk about meltdowns, executive function, anxiety, perfectionism, transitions, screen-time conflict, learning differences, and the messy middle of raising kids who feel deeply and need support that actually fits. The goal is not perfection. The goal is more clarity, more connection, fewer power struggles, and a steadier path forward, one tiny win at a time.

  1. 2D AGO

    The Helper Trap: Parenting When You're Carrying Heavy Stuff

    Episode summary If you're in a season where you love your kid deeply but your patience is somehow a single Tic Tac, this episode is for you. In this ALS Awareness Month mini, Dr. Amy Patenaude names the Helper Trap, explains why capacity shrinks in heavy seasons (it's not a character flaw), and gives you a simple plan to lower demands without losing connection. You'll leave with the Two Dials tool (Demands and Connection), a low-capacity script you can use today, and a clean repair line for the moment you snap and want to come back fast. In this episode you'll learn Why "I'm snappy lately" is often a capacity season, not a character test What the Helper Trap looks like in real life and why it feels lonely The Two Dials tool: turn Demands down while protecting Connection Low-capacity scripts so you're not improvising while fried The after-school crash translation: "fine at school, falls apart at home" A repair script that brings you back without a long speech Tiny Wins to try this week Drop one demand for 7 days (extras, not boundaries) Pick one connection anchor you can do on fumes (60 seconds counts) Use this line once: "I'm not available for a big thing right now, but I'm still here." Do one repair rep: "That came out sharp. I'm carrying a lot. I'm sorry. I love you. Let's try again." Choose one moment to protect connection on purpose (car line, snack time, lights out) Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Volcano Moments + Hurricane Level Feelings: What to say before your kid explodes https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments Research snapshot Family caregiving can involve high emotional stress, physical strain, and isolation, which can shrink a caregiver's capacity over time. This supports the core message of the episode: when you're carrying heavy stuff, you do not need a new personality, you need pacing, support, and repair. American Psychiatric Association blog on caregiver mental health https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/supporting-the-mental-health-of-family-caregivers APA policy page on family caregivers https://www.apa.org/about/policy/family-caregivers Connect with Psyched2Parent Instagram https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent Donation page If you'd like to support Amy's fundraiser https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser May workshop Summer Without the Spiral: A Parent Workshop to Build a Simple Summer Plan for Learning, Play, Screens, and Sanity https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/8417774024742/WN_PDHZiQKXTu-1eo_9_5NAiA Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

    16 min

  2. 5D AGO

    Maycember Survival Guide: Lower Demands Without Losing Structure

    Episode summary Maycember is here: theme days you find out about at 8:47 p.m., end-of-year events, and, for middle and high school families, finals and exam stress layered on top of everything else. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares a simple Finish Line Mode plan to lower demands without losing structure, so your kid can finish the year feeling capable, not crispy. You'll leave with tiny wins you can use this week, including the Sleep, School, Connection anchors and a quick 10–10–10 exam plan that turns "I'm cooked" into "okay, I can start." In this episode you'll learn Why Maycember is a capacity season, not a character test, for kids or parents The MV3 Finish Line Mode anchors: Sleep, School, Connection How to lower demands using the Drop, Modify, Keep method The 10–10–10 Exam Rescue to help middle and high schoolers map finals week How to support teen self-advocacy without bulldozing school communication Tiny Wins to try this week Write MV3 on a sticky note: Sleep, School, Connection Do the 10–10–10 Exam Rescue once (30 minutes total) Pick a school anchor for the last two weeks (example: exam days or first period) Help your teen send one self-advocacy message (they write it, you proofread) Add an 8-minute connection check-in daily (no fixing, just presence) Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Volcano Moments + Hurricane Level Feelings: What to say before your kid explodes. – scripts for the moment right before things blow. https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments School Psych Toolkit (K–12) – support for home–school problem-solving. https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/schoolpsychtoolkit Research snapshot The term Maycember captures how May can feel like December-level intensity, packed with end-of-year events and parent mental load. https://theholdernessfamily.com/mayisthenewdecember/ End-of-year transitions can feel bittersweet, and that mixed emotion can raise stress for both kids and parents as routines shift. https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/scientific-mommy/202505/parenting-through-the-bittersweet-end-of-another-school-year American Academy of Pediatrics family guidance emphasizes routines and basic supports, especially sleep, as anchors that help kids function during school seasons and transitions. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/school/Pages/back-to-school-tips.aspx Connect with Psyched2Parent Shownotes and Previous Episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent Instagram: https://ww.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Donation page If you'd like to support Amy's fundraiser: https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

    22 min

  3. APR 30

    Talking to Kids About Serious Illness (Without Flooding Them)

    Episode summary Bedtime is when kids' brains time-travel—especially after your family has lived through serious illness or loss. In this ALS Awareness Month mini episode (1 of 3), Dr. Amy shares her personal "why" and gives you kid-sized truth (not the whole ocean), plus exact scripts for the "Are you going to die?" questions that tend to show up when the lights go out. In this episode you'll learn Why bedtime questions hit harder (it's nervous-system inventory, not drama) How to avoid the two extremes: forever promises vs fear-flooding The middle path: truth + steadiness + a plan + connection Exactly what to say for the first question and the sticky follow-up How to use Two Hands + Three Breaths to help your child's body settle What to say if your child replays scary equipment memories (one sentence, then connection) Tiny Wins to try this week Pick one anchor phrase: "I'm healthy right now. And you are taken care of." Use the boundary: "Kid-sized pieces only." Offer the choice: "Hug, facts, or quiet company?" Do Two Hands + Three Breaths after you answer If you get flooded: step out for 30 seconds, breathe, then come back with: "That hit my heart too. I'm here." Pick one. One is enough. Links mentioned Donate or share the fundraiser (Kyle Pease Foundation) https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser Free Volcano Moments + Hurricane Level Feelings phrases guide https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments Summer Without the Spiral: A Parent Workshop to Build a Simple Summer Plan for Learning, Play, Screens, and Sanity (May 14 webinar) https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/8017774015643/WN_PDHZiQKXTu-1eo_9_5NAiA Instagram https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

    28 min

  4. APR 27

    Red Zone Parenting: Why Kids Won't Listen in Meltdowns

    Red Zone Parenting: Why Kids Won't Listen in Meltdowns Episode summary Ever tried to reason with your kid mid-meltdown… and it made everything worse? In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down what the Red Zone actually is—when your child's brain is flooded and they genuinely can't listen, even if your logic is perfect. You'll learn what to do instead of talking, why after-school meltdowns hit so hard, and the short scripts that help kids settle faster (without you becoming Category 5, too). In this episode you'll learn Why kids won't listen in the Red Zone (and why it's not "defiance") How to spot the early tells (the eye shift, rigid body, "angry seatbelt click") before the volcano erupts How the "Last Word Trophy" trap escalates both of you The Category 5 rule: no teaching—what to do when your kid is fully flooded What to say instead: short, repeatable scripts that keep safety and connection intact How to teach + repair after the storm passes (when learning actually happens) Tiny Wins to try this week Pick one Red Zone phrase and practice saying it out loud when you're calm (yes, really). When you notice your child's early tells (eye shift, rigid body, forceful car door/seatbelt), treat that as your cue to say less and slow down. Try the "two choices" structure during transitions: "Now or two minutes." If your brain starts doing the dishwasher spin cycle, take a 90-second reset so you don't become Category 5, too. After the meltdown, do one repair sentence: "We're back. That was big. Next time we'll try earlier." Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Volcano Moments Guide — phrases for hurricane-level feelings (so you're not improvising mid-eruption): https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area. Links & follow Shownotes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent

    21 min

  5. APR 24

    Mom 2.0: Self-Care Isn't a Reward for Moms

    Mom 2.0: Self-Care Isn't a Reward for Moms Episode summary I went to Mom 2.0 in Austin by myself and knew literally no one, which sounds brave and also felt like a full-body nervous system moment. I'm sharing the story of walking into the kickoff happy hour late, having my stomach drop, and then finding connection through one brave "hi" at the water cooler. This episode is also about the shift I'm practicing in real time: self-care isn't something moms earn with output, and rest doesn't require receipts. In this episode you'll learn Why walking into a room alone can feel like a nervous system jump scare (and why that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong). How "one brave sentence" can change the whole trajectory of a moment when you feel like the new kid. What it looked like to practice real recovery as an ambivert: connection, then a true downshift (walk + Tex-Mex + audiobook). A permission reframe: you don't need to be impressive to deserve rest. Tiny ways to practice "Do Not Disturb" energy in regular life, even when life isn't calm. Tiny Wins to try this week The "new room" rep: do one thing where you're the new person (one class, one meetup, one school event). The water cooler rule: find a safe anchor (water/food/edge of room) and say one sentence to one person. The real handoff: take one block of time where you're truly off-duty (not managing from the background). Phone-down dinner: one meal without scrolling so your brain can actually exhale. Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Volcano Moments Guide — a simple plan for big feelings building moments so you're not improvising mid-eruption: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area. Links & follow Shownotes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent Brands mentioned Mom 2.0 Conference: https://mom2.com/ Sippi Kids (water in a box): https://sippikids.com/ Ocean & Olive: https://ocean-olive.com/ People mentioned (Mom 2.0 connections + favorite session) Ashley (LMFT), The Modern Parent Tara Clark, Modern Mom Probs Podcast Dr. Noelle Santorelli Dr. Kim Van Dusen, author of the book: Parenting Through Play Dr. Rachel Goldman, author of the book When Life Happens

    17 min

  6. APR 20

    ADHD, Anxiety, or Sleep Debt? Morning Routine Chaos Explained

    ADHD, Anxiety, or Sleep Debt? Morning Routine Chaos Explained Episode summary It's 7:04am, the bus comes at 7:22, and your child is still negotiating like a tiny lawyer. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down why morning chaos can look like defiance (or ADHD)… when the real driver might be sleep debt, anxiety, or executive functioning needs. You'll walk away with a quick "7:22 Driver Check" so you can stop guessing and start supporting what's actually happening today. In this episode you'll learn Use the "Who's Driving the Morning Bus?" framework to sort sleep debt vs anxiety vs executive function in real time. Run the 7:22 Driver Check: what wake-up looks like, the flavor of the stall, and what helps fastest. Spot the difference between playful/silly stalling and alarm-brain stalling (they feel different for a reason). Use "external brain" supports (without turning into a morning drill sergeant). Ask the school the right questions to get patterns, not labels—so you're partnering, not diagnosing. Tiny Wins to try this week The 3-step card (visible): Uniform → Breakfast → Backpack (put it where mornings happen). Body-doubling for lift-off: 5 minutes of "I'm here" support at the stickiest start point. Protect the bedtime runway: pick one anchor (same start time / two-step wind-down / devices out of bedroom). The 5-day sleep + worry note: bedtime, wake time, worry level, morning vibe—patterns > perfection. Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Tiny Wins email list: weekly brain-based Tiny Wins + scripts (if you grab a freebie below, you'll be on the list). Big Feelings Decoder — translate "big behavior" into brain-based clues + what to do next: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder Volcano Moments Guide — phrases for hurricane-level feelings (so you're not improvising mid-eruption): https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments Boredom Buster Guide — easy ideas for "I'm bored" moments that don't turn into chaos: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/boredomebusterguide Disclaimer "This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area." Links & follow Shownotes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent

    25 min

  7. APR 16

    Intrusive Thoughts in Kids: What to Say and Do

    Intrusive Thoughts in Kids: What to Say and Do Episode summary Bedtime. Lights off. One more hug. And then your kid drops it: "What if you died?" or "What if my brain makes me think dangerous stuff?" If you've ever frozen—trying to take it seriously without making it bigger—this episode is for you. Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down intrusive thoughts in kid language, the "brain pop-up" metaphor that instantly de-shames the moment, and a simple 3-step plan you can use tonight—without turning into the reassurance customer service desk at 9:42pm. In this episode you'll learn Spot what intrusive thoughts are (and what they're not)—so you stop treating every scary thought like a safety emergency. Use the "brain pop-up" metaphor to separate your child from the symptom: thought ≠ intent. Respond in a way that supports your kid without feeding the loop (interrogation, reassurance-on-repeat, avoidance). Practice the 3-step protocol: Name it → Neutralize it → Next thing ("Pop-up. Not clicking."). Ask the quick sorting question that reduces panic and clarifies the lane: "Did that thought scare you… or do you feel like you want to do it?" Know when it's time to get help: when thoughts are frequent, sticky, and interfering with real life. Translate this for school (without oversharing the content) and use a simple email/script to request a consistent plan. Tiny Wins to try this week Pick one anchor line and repeat it all week: "A thought is something your brain shows you—an action is something your body chooses." Do a calm "fire drill" once: Name it → Neutralize it → Next thing. Try Worst / Best / Funniest / Most likely one time when your child catastrophizes. Give one calm reassurance response, then pivot: "Pop-up. Not clicking. Next thing." If school is part of the stuck-loop pattern, send a short note asking for a consistent phrase + brief reset plan. Pick one. One is enough. Free resources Big Feeling Decoder — turn "bad behavior" into brain language + go-to scripts for the next hard moment: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder School Psych in Your Back Pocket: The School Testing Toolkit (K–12) — school-language translation + what to ask for: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/schoolpsychtoolkit 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents — done-for-you prompts for routines, scripts, and school emails: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/aiprompts4parents Boredom Buster Guide — quick ideas for the "I'm boooored" spiral: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/boredomebusterguide Connect with Psyched2Parent Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent Show notes and previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/ Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

    23 min

  8. APR 13

    How to Request an Evaluation So It Actually Moves

    How to Request an Evaluation (and What to Say So It Actually Moves) If you've been sitting in that exhausting "something isn't adding up" season, this episode is for you. Maybe your child is trying, the school is trying, you're doing tutoring or supports or all the things, and somehow you still don't have a cohesive plan. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude walks through how to tell when it's time to request a school evaluation, what actually makes a request move, and how to respond when the school says they want to "keep doing interventions first." You'll leave with a simple decision filter, grounded parent scripts, and a calmer way to think about evaluation as a clarity tool, not a verdict. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the best question to ask is not "Is this bad enough?" but "Will better data change what we do next?" How to tell when concerns have moved beyond a short-term wobble and into a pattern worth evaluating What "functional impact" really looks like in everyday life, from missing work and shutdowns to big feelings that block learning Why it's not either interventions or evaluation, and how to use a calm "yes-and" approach when schools want to wait The four common lanes that can help organize what you're seeing: executive function, academic skills, attention/regulation, and processing speed or working memory strain What a good evaluation is actually for: understanding patterns, identifying supports, and building a more cohesive plan Exact language you can use in an email or meeting to formally request an evaluation without sounding hostile, flustered, or overwhelmed What to say if the school says your child is "doing fine," or declines to evaluate Why big feelings around school demands are often a sign of overload or skill mismatch, not laziness, drama, or defiance Tiny Wins to Try This Week Start a 7-day dot log. Write one quick sentence each day: demand → what happened → what support was needed. Collect three work samples: one that shows what's hard, one that shows a strength, and one that shows inconsistency. Before your next meeting or email, write down just three bullet points so you're not winging it. Send your formal request in writing and include a clear follow-up line asking the school to confirm receipt and share next steps for consent. If you already have outside supports, sign a release so your provider and school can share information and work from the same story. Free Resources School Psych in Your Back Pocket: The School Testing Toolkit (K–12) — practical support for translating school systems, testing language, and what to ask for Big Feelings Decoder — turn "bad behavior" into brain language and next steps Boredom Buster Guide — quick ideas for the "I'm boooored" spiral 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents — done-for-you prompts for calmer routines, scripts, and school emails Connect with Psyched2Parent Instagram Facebook TikTok Show Notes and Previous Episodes Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

    27 min
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5
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About

Psyched2Parent turns brain science into tiny wins for parents raising big-feeling, strong-willed, big-hearted, big-brained kids, especially the ones who hold it together at school and unravel at home. I'm Dr. Amy Patenaude, a school psychologist, parent coach, and your school psych in your pocket. Each week, I help you decode what's underneath the behavior, understand your child's brain and nervous system, and figure out what to do next at home and at school. You'll get parent-friendly explanations, tiny wins you can actually use, scripts for hard moments, and practical guidance for navigating school supports like IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and accommodations. We talk about meltdowns, executive function, anxiety, perfectionism, transitions, screen-time conflict, learning differences, and the messy middle of raising kids who feel deeply and need support that actually fits. The goal is not perfection. The goal is more clarity, more connection, fewer power struggles, and a steadier path forward, one tiny win at a time.

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