Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles.

ibeenhandsome
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Some conversations deserve more than a comment section. This podcast is me making sense of the world around me. We talk about everything from 90s culture, music, sports, relationships, and the things people don’t always say out loud. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s serious, but the goal is always the same: looking at things differently once the dust settles. Connect with me: Instagram @ibeenhandsome | Twitter @dustsettlespod

  1. 15h ago

    The love I need, the love I know.

    Episode Description I used to think I knew what love was. I thought love was intensity. Romance. Affection. Wanting somebody so badly that their presence could change the entire feeling of a room. But getting older has changed the question. I don't just want to be loved anymore. I want to be known. In this episode, I explore the difference between the love we imagine when we're young and the love we begin to understand after we've actually lived. The kind of love that isn't built entirely on chemistry or grand gestures, but on curiosity, friendship, understanding, trust, growth, and the quiet decision to keep learning another person. Because maybe the love we need isn't something we've never experienced. Maybe it's hidden inside everything we've already learned about being loved. The Love I Need, The Love I Know. If you've ever wondered what kind of love you're actually looking for now—not the love you were taught to want, but the love that makes sense to the person you've become—this one is for you.

  2. 1d ago

    Have I been ungrateful my entire life ?

    HAVE I BEEN UNGRATEFUL MY ENTIRE LIFE? I took an edible, got deep in thought, and somehow ended up questioning my entire relationship with money, material things, ambition, and gratitude. Growing up, my parents made sure I had what I needed. I had good meals, new clothes, regular haircuts, money for school, and parents who consistently showed up for me. I didn't grow up with every designer brand or the latest Jordans, but I was never neglected. So why did I grow up promising myself that when I had money, I would buy everything I couldn't have? Why did $20 shirts eventually become $100 shirts? Why did having good sneakers become needing expensive sneakers? And when did wanting nice things turn into believing I needed them? Maybe I wasn't deprived. Maybe I was comparing. This episode is about the difference between wanting more and believing what you already have isn't enough. It's about childhood, status, money, ambition, comparison, our parents, and the uncomfortable realization that sometimes we don't recognize a blessing because it became normal. I still want more. I still want to build something bigger. But maybe gratitude isn't about killing ambition. Maybe gratitude is what keeps ambition from becoming greed. Listen to the full episode of Respect Me Once The Dust Settles.

  3. 2d ago

    A mother is gonna mother regardless.

    A MOTHER IS GONNA MOTHER REGARDLESS The Raising Kanan finale left me thinking about something much bigger than Raq and Kanan. What happens when your child grows into an adult you can no longer protect, guide, or control? Raq spent years trying to shape the man Kanan would become. Eventually, she had to face the reality every parent eventually faces: your child becomes their own person. That doesn't mean the love disappears. It doesn't mean the disappointment disappears either. Sometimes your mother can disagree with the man you've become and still see the little boy she raised. Sometimes you can become completely independent and still hear your mother's voice in the back of your head. And sometimes the hardest part of growing up is realizing that your parents were figuring life out too. Using the Raising Kanan finale and Raq as the entry point, this episode gets into motherhood, growing up, letting go, family, unconditional love, and what happens when a parent has to accept that they can't live their child's life for them. Because eventually, the child becomes an adult. But to a mother? That's still her baby. A mother is gonna mother regardless. Listen to the full episode of Respect Me Once The Dust Settles.

  4. Aug 12

    It’s not the dream I rejected , it’s the future with you.

    IT'S NOT THE DREAM I REJECTED, IT'S THE FUTURE WITH YOU Have you ever met someone who was good to you... and still couldn't picture spending the rest of your life with them? No betrayal. No dramatic ending. No obvious reason you could point to and say, "That's why." You just couldn't see it. And that's where things get complicated. Because what do you tell somebody when they ask, "What did I do?" and you don't actually have an answer? This episode explores the uncomfortable space between loving someone's presence and wanting their permanent presence. We talk about attraction, guilt, commitment, uncertainty, and the strange reality that sometimes your feelings reach a conclusion before your mind knows how to explain it. Maybe you still believe in love. Maybe you still want marriage, partnership, family, and the dream you've always imagined. You just can't see that dream with them. And if there isn't a villain... if nobody did anything unforgivable... how do you explain leaving? More importantly... how do you know whether you're walking away from the wrong person, or walking away from something you're simply afraid to accept? That's the conversation. Respect Me Once The Dust Settles.

  5. Aug 11

    Alcohol made you do it, but you shaved before going.

    ALCOHOL MADE YOU DO IT, BUT YOU SHAVED BEFORE GOING "Alcohol made me do it." We've all heard it. But here's the problem... you shaved before going. This episode starts with a joke about cheating and alcohol, but it quickly becomes a deeper conversation about excuses, accountability, self-awareness, and the stories we tell ourselves when we don't like the person we became in a particular moment. Because alcohol can influence your judgment. Anger can influence your behavior. Hurt can influence your decisions. But influence isn't the same thing as erasing your responsibility. Sometimes the most revealing part of a bad decision isn't the moment everything fell apart. It's everything that happened before it. The preparation. The choices. The direction you were already moving. We talk about why people turn circumstances into excuses, why saying "I made a decision I regret" is harder than blaming the situation, and why you can't grow from something you refuse to honestly examine. You don't have to hate yourself for making a bad decision. But you do have to be honest about who made it. Because you can't change what you refuse to acknowledge. And sometimes... the lesson was sitting there with the razor in your hand. Respect Me Once The Dust Settles.

  6. Aug 10

    She calms my nervous system.

    She Calms My Nervous System Down Sometimes you don't understand the value of someone's presence until you're no longer in it. In this episode, I explore what it means to have someone in your life whose presence makes the weight of everything you're dealing with feel a little lighter. Not because they solve your problems, but because something about being around them gives you enough peace to see those problems differently. We talk about emotional safety, connection, friendship, relationships, and the people who quietly become part of how we move through life. Sometimes you don't realize you were calm until the conversation ends and the noise comes back. The question is simple: Who makes your life feel a little easier just by being there? And if you've been lucky enough to have that person, have you made sure they know what their presence means to you? Respect Me Once The Dust Settles. Inspired by SB. Thank you

  7. Aug 7

    How many of us have them … FRIENDS.

    How Many of Us Have Them… FRIENDS How many of us have them? Friends. The older I get, the more complicated that word becomes. Friendship isn't just about how long you've known somebody. It's about who shows up, who tells you the truth, who can celebrate your growth without competing with it, and whether both people are willing to evolve. In this episode, I get into the expiration dates on certain behaviors, the difference between loyalty and enabling, growing apart without turning every ending into betrayal, and the uncomfortable question we don't ask enough: Are you actually a good friend? And yes, we have to talk about Jason Pitts from The Game — because sometimes the friend who gets on your last nerve is still the one who's there when it matters. Friendship changes as we get older. Life gets busier, people move, priorities shift, and sometimes relationships fade without anyone becoming the villain. But the real ones? They make room for growth. They tell you when you're wrong. They celebrate you when you win. And when life gets ugly, they're still there. How many of us have them?

  8. Aug 6

    I did 100 episodes .

    100 100 episodes later, I finally understand what Respect Me Once The Dust Settles is actually about. When I started this podcast, I thought I wanted to enter the self-help and self-improvement space. But the more I lived, the harder it became to pretend I had the answers. I’m still figuring out love, relationships, faith, discipline, ambition, money, and what it means to become the person I want to be. So I stopped trying to tell people how to live and started talking honestly about what I’m learning while I’m living it. In Episode 100, I look back at the journey and the strange way this podcast found its identity. My memories, imagination, intrusive thoughts, music, sports, television, nostalgia, and cultural moments have all become doorways into conversations about something much bigger. Culture is the doorway. Life is the foundation. 100 episodes of trying to understand people, relationships, faith, ambition, growing older, becoming, and myself. I don’t have all the answers. I have better questions now. And apparently, that was the podcast I was trying to make all along. Respect Me Once The Dust Settles.

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About

Some conversations deserve more than a comment section. This podcast is me making sense of the world around me. We talk about everything from 90s culture, music, sports, relationships, and the things people don’t always say out loud. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s serious, but the goal is always the same: looking at things differently once the dust settles. Connect with me: Instagram @ibeenhandsome | Twitter @dustsettlespod

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