Long Distance, Bit Weird

Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Comedy Interviews
  • Updated Weekly

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

  1. 2d ago

    E41: The Enfield Poltergeist

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week, in honour of Halloween, Sooz freaks Michael out by relaying the story of the Enfield Poltergeist. In August of 1977, a single mother living in Enfield, north London told the police that she had witnessed furniture moving around her home, and that two of her four children had heard knocking sounds on the walls. Over the next 18 months, the story of the Enfield Poltergeist became a tabloid newspaper phenomenon, as stories of levitating children, flying Lego, spooky voices and demonic possession filled the pages of the Daily Mirror and The Observer.  So, was the Enfield Poltergeist real? Could it have possibly been a hoax? And what did this paranormal story have to do with British working-class life in the 1970s? Listen up to find out! But first, we present a sausage-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

  2. Oct 15

    E40: The Leading Ladies of CanCon with Andrew Johnston

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week we welcome comedian Andrew Johnston back to the pod to talk about some of the most notable female artists who rose to fame in Canada during the 1980s and 90s. Did they conquer the global charts? Not necessarily. But they were certainly on Canadian TV a lot.  Artists discussed in this episode include Atlantic Canada's most infamous communist agitator Rita MacNeil; Metal Queen Lee Aaron; blues singer/Canadian Idol judge Sass Jordan; wedding popsters Candi & the Backbeat; dance floor legends Simone Denny and Love Inc.; and melancholy balladeer/celebrated comedian Jann Arden.  But first, we present an edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to follow Andrew on Instagram. And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

  3. Oct 13

    *PREVIEW* Bonus Ep. 14 - More Metro sex columns

    On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're reading more of the least sexy columns every written: sex columns from The Metro, London's favourite free newspaper. This is just a preview, for the full episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

  4. Oct 10

    *PREVIEW* Bonus Ep. 13 - When Athletes Poo...

    On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're being sophisticated grown-ups and, inspired by the lady who diarrhoea'd herself and everyone else at Hyrox, talking about other athletes who have done the same. It's so nice! This is just a preview but for the full almost-hour-long YES THAT'S RIGHT WE TALK ABOUT THIS FOR AN HOUR episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

  5. Oct 8

    E39: Lara Croft off of Tomb Raider

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week Sooz tells Michael the story of 90s phenomenon Lara Croft, the superstar lady protagonist of the incredibly popular Tomb Raider video game franchise. Was she aimed at girls? Did she go to school with Prince Charles? Why did her appearance change from game to game? And was there really a perverted cheat code that made her clothes disappear? Listen up to find out the answer to all of these questions and more! But first, Michael reads TWO missives in this week's edition of "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 10th - Sooz at Quantum Leopard @ Bold Elephant, London TICKETS October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

  6. Sep 24

    E38: Musk - The Documentary by Alex Gibney

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week Sooz and Michael share their thoughts on the new, four-hour documentary about Elon Musk they saw at the Toronto International Film Festival. Is four hours too long to stare at Elon's beautiful face? Listen to find out! But first, there's a pizza-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

  7. Sep 18

    E37: The Rise and (Current) Fall of Nigel Farage Part Two

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week it's the second part of our deep dive into the world of Nigel Farage, Britain's favourite Guinness and champagne swiller. From the Brexit disaster to Reform's current £72 million pound problem, we talk about Nige's cool life since 2015. Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS   November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

  8. Sep 10

    E36: The Rise and (Current) Fall of Nigel Farage Part One

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week it's time for us to go deep inside the world of Nigel Farage. From plane crashes to election losses to constantly getting covered in milkshake...this guy knows how to live a life! So much so that we've spread him out over two episodes. Mmmm spread em, Nige. Part one takes us from his birth to 2015. Episode two next week (or already available exclusively on our Patreon). ALSO: someone writes in with a business idea in the latest edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! September 13 - Sooz guesting on NonCensored - The Last Show @ Kings Place, London - TICKETS September 17th - Sooz and Michael are on together at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS November 4th - Sooz's new show Imposter @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

Information

  • Creator
    Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    57
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Long Distance, Bit Weird

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