Allan&Eve: Marriage Is Not a Game

Allen&Eve
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We are a Christian couple with a heart to see marriages restored and built to last. Our mission is simple: to help couples make it down the aisle and reduce divorce through honest, faith-based conversations. From singleness and dating to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we’re tackling it all with biblical wisdom and real-life stories.

  1. 2d ago

    Is It Cruel to Tell Your Partner They’re Gaining Weight, or Is It Fake Love to Stay Silent?

    Hello, good people! Welcome back to the show.       Is it cruel to tell your spouse that they are gaining weight? Or is it fake love to just stay silent?    Welcome to another raw and unfiltered episode of the Allen and Eve Podcast! Today, we are putting ourselves on the hot seat with a game of boards to tackle one of the absolute hardest situations a married couple can navigate: dealing with a partner's weight gain and declining health.     In this episode, we debate two completely opposite approaches to this sensitive topic: The Speak Up Approach: Why waiting in silence can breed resentment, mask insecurities, and why loving your spouse means having tough, respectful, and open communication about health and attraction.The Stay Silent Approach: Why taking the initiative through your own actions, leading by example, and quietly inviting your partner to join your fitness journey can prevent defensive arguments and protect their feelings.    We dive deep into why people get defensive, how to hold each other accountable without putting each other down, and how to build a marriage where difficult conversations don't automatically turn into a war.        Remember, marriage is not a game! Tune in, listen to both of our perspectives, and ask yourself: if it were your relationship, would you want your partner to speak up or stay silent?

    21 min

  2. May 22

    When Plan A Fails: The 3-Step Backup Plan for Marriage Fights

    Hey believers, what do you do when you hit a wall in your marriage, a disagreement gets heated, and your go-to strategy completely fails? Most couples rely on a "Plan A" that leaves them trapped in the same frustrating cycles over and over again. In this episode of the Allen and Eve podcast, we are getting incredibly raw about a recent, real-life disagreement that put our own communication tools to the test. When avoidance started creeping in, and our usual strategies broke down, we had to instantly shift to a powerful 3-step "Plan B" framework to save the conversation from spinning out of control. We are introducing the core concepts behind this backup plan, including: 1. The essential mindset shift required to halt the negative momentum of a fight before it riles you up inside. 2. The hardest thing a spouse can do to genuinely drop their armor and see the real issue. 3. The "slam dunk" anchor of communication that completely breaks down walls and stops the blame game in its tracks. When you hold a mirror up to the situation, healthy communication becomes contagious—but you have to know how to open that door. Stop letting the enemy create distance between you and your spouse. Pull up a chair, find out exactly how we navigated the heat of the moment, and learn how to build a backup plan that actually works for your marriage. Because when things get real, you can't rely on a broken plan—and remember, marriage is not a game! If this conversation challenges or blesses you, hit that subscribe button, slam the like button, and let us know your thoughts in the comments below       🔥Remember, it's Allan & Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game!!!🔥

    20 min

  3. May 15

    When They Leave Your Child Out: Family Red Flag You Can’t Ignore

    WHY THIS MATTERS  Hey Believers, in this episode, we’re breaking down the blended family red flags that many people ignore until it’s too late. We discuss why you can’t wait for your spouse to "eventually" see the problem. If they aren't protecting your child now, they aren't ready for the marriage. WHAT WE COVER: The Photo Test: How a simple group photo can expose deep-rooted exclusion.The Passive Spouse: Why "giving it time" is often just an excuse for a partner who is too scared to stand up to their parents.The Opt-Out Rule: Why removing your child from a disrespectful environment is the ultimate move of a protective parent.Direct Confrontation: Why you should stop using a "third party" and speak up for your child yourself. TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 – The red flag you cannot ignore.03:30 – Do children really notice when they are being left out?.07:13 – Should you handle your spouse’s family or let them do it?.10:46 – Balancing respect with the need to "speak with passion".15:47 – Are there really "accidents" when it comes to excluding a child?.19:04 – Navigating the stress of extended family in a blended dynamic.        JOIN THE CONVERSATION If you're tired of the games and ready for the truth about blended families. We believe marriage is not a game.

    21 min

  4. May 8

    Who Should Do the Housework? Stay-at-Home Mom vs. Working Dad

    Is staying at home a "24/7 cleaning contract" or a partnership? In this episode of the Allen and Eve Podcast, we’re getting into the raw truth about housework, roles, and the resentment that builds when communication breaks down. Eve breaks down the perspective that if you "signed up" to stay home, the house is your domain. Meanwhile, Allen argues that no matter how many hours a husband works, he should always be a "champion" who chips in to support his wife. We also share a recent "adventure" involving a broken washing machine and a trip to the laundromat that reminded us why doing things together as a couple—no matter how rocky—is what keeps a marriage moving forward. In this video, we discuss: The "Infinite Shift": Why does the working dad get to "clock out" while the stay-at-home mom is still on the clock? Mental vs. Physical Labor: Which is more draining—a 12-hour shift or the mental load of managing a household? The Blueprint for Success: Why you need to sit down and actually define what "staying at home" means for your specific household.Avoiding the "Maid" Trap: How to stop your spouse from feeling like a servant rather than a partner.Marriage is a challenge, but you don't have to navigate it alone. Whether you have one child or five, the goal is the same: Stay on the same page and keep communicating.

    22 min

  5. May 1

    Blended Families: You Can’t Force Love – Dealing with Step-Parenting Challenges

    Hey everybody. Today, we’re diving into the complexities of blended families and why you simply can’t force love into existence. In this episode, Allen and Eve discuss the intense pressure coming from culture, the church, and social media to present a "perfect" family dynamic that often does not match the reality of many households. We explore why it is vital to focus on building authentic, genuine relationships rather than striving for a "Brady Bunch" ideal that may not fit your specific family situation. The conversation heats up as we tackle the difference between immediate respect and the long-term process of bonding. While we believe respect and authority are essential for a functional household, we discuss how forcing titles like "Mom" or "Dad" can often lead to more friction than connection. We also dive into the difficult reality that compatibility between a stepparent and a child is not always guaranteed, and why being at peace with that truth is often the healthiest path forward for the entire family. Finally, we examine the importance of keeping the marriage as the foundation of the home, adhering to the principle of God, Marriage, then Kids. If you are struggling with a dynamic where a child is attempting to dictate the relationship or cause confusion within the marriage, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate your approach. Join us as we share our perspectives on navigating the challenges of blending families with peace and clarity.

    27 min

  6. Apr 24

    Loyalty Conflicts: Why Your Blended Family is Failing

    Hey Believers, in this episode of the Allen and Eve Podcast, we tackle the "Loyalty Conflict" that keeps blended families in constant friction. Many biological parents avoid correcting their children out of guilt, which creates a toxic environment for the spouse and other children in the home. If you are constantly forced to "pick a side," your marriage is already at risk. What we’re breaking down: The Relationship Hierarchy: Why putting your marriage first (after God) is the only way a blended family survives.The Discipline Divide: Why "going soft" on your bio-child creates resentment in the household.Emotional Numbness: What happens when a stepparent withdraws because they’ve been disrespected or lied to for years.The Choice: Why you should stay single if you aren't ready to prioritize your marriage covenant over your child's manipulation.           Marriage is not a game. Stop walking on eggshells in your own house

    30 min

  7. Apr 17

    When You’re Caught Between Your Child and Your Partner (what would you do?)

    Hey Believers, being caught in the middle of a conflict between your partner and your child is one of the most painful and challenging positions in a blended family. In this episode of the Allen and Eve Podcast, we dive deep into the difficult conversations around parenting, discipline, and the hierarchy of relationships within a marriage. We explore the reality that while some blended families are "blessed" with a smooth transition, many others face unpredictable emotional hurdles and constant friction. If you feel pressured to choose a side, this conversation is for you. Key Discussion Points The Relationship Hierarchy: Why we believe putting marriage first—right after God—is essential for a stable household. The Discipline Divide: How to handle situations where one partner is seen as "too harsh" while the other is "too soft".Bonding Boundaries: What to do when a child refuses to connect with a step-parent and how to maintain respect in the home.Avoiding the "Choice" Trap: Why you should address your child's emotional needs or behavioral issues before entering a new marriage covenant.The Consequence of "Picking Sides": How constantly choosing the child over the spouse can lead to the eventual dissolution of the marriage. Connect With Us If you found this conversation helpful, please abuse that like button and subscribe to join the crew. We believe marriage is the key to families, and we are here to have the difficult conversations that help you navigate yours. "Don't get into a covenant if you feel like you're going to choose your child."

    29 min

  8. Apr 9

    The Stepparent Dilemma Nobody Talks About (Step Up or Step Back?)

    Most people think blended families are supposed to “just work.” They don’t. In this episode, we break down the real struggles of being a stepparent—the part nobody prepares you for. 👉 When do you step up? 👉 When is it better to step back? 👉 Why does everything feel like you're doing it wrong? Being a stepparent can feel like a no-win situation. If you try too hard, you’re overstepping. If you pull back, you don’t care. This is the stepparent dilemma nobody talks about. We dive into: Blended family challenges no one warns you aboutCoparenting conflicts and outside influenceThe emotional stress of step-parentingWhen stepping back protects your peaceHow to communicate with your partner effectivelyThis video is for: ✔️ Stepmoms and stepdads ✔️ People entering blended families ✔️ Couples dealing with co-parenting tension ✔️ Anyone feeling stuck between a child and a partner We’re just telling the truth that people avoid.  💬 Comment your experience below—what did YOU do: step up or step back?

    30 min
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About

We are a Christian couple with a heart to see marriages restored and built to last. Our mission is simple: to help couples make it down the aisle and reduce divorce through honest, faith-based conversations. From singleness and dating to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we’re tackling it all with biblical wisdom and real-life stories.

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